Fantasy Is A Metaphor For The Human Condition, A Comic About Magic, And Art, And Speculative Fiction,

arthuriana and swords<3

(or ellian’s procrastinating so it’s time to talk about my favorite swords!)

The most famous of them all is Excalibur (or Caliburn depending on the text, however some argue that Caliburn is an entirely different sword) and i get it — it’s the sword in the stone, the sword that is proof of Arthur’s heritage and legitimacy over Camelot. What’s interesting is that a lot of other medieval texts (Layamon’s Brut and Wace’s Brut) describe Arthur’s childhood as one in which that he was always royalty, or at least, was aware of it — Malory’s Le Morte and possibly Suite du Merlin from the Vulgate (don’t quote me on this it’s been a year since I last read Suite du Merlin) discuss over how Arthur grew up alongside Kay under the tutelage of Sir Ector. Various different texts have different reactions towards Arthur pulling out Excalibur — some have it that the nobility fell in line right away and others have it in that there was ultimate discourse that erupted forth as there was disbelief that the squire of Sir Kay WAS the person who truly pulled the sword out, and thus, belonging to the throne.

That being said there isn’t much talk of Clarent, which is another sword of Arthur’s. Clarent is not a sword used to fight with — Clarent is the sword that Arthur uses to KNIGHT people with. It’s a purely decorative sword that is symbolic more than anything. And yet, THIS is the sword that Mordred (and sometimes Guinevere) steals in medieval texts and uses against Arthur at Camlann. THIS is the sword that Mordred swears his kingship on and his inheritance to the throne. The implications that it is a CEREMONIAL SWORD (that was thus used in the knighthood of Mordred itself) being used to kill Arthur is thus… it speaks a lot about the mortality of kingship and just how Arthur, at the end of the day, despite being king is also a man, and also one that can be disposed of, and that while Excalibur may have been the one to herald the start, it is Clarent, purely decorative and ornamental and political, is used once again to throw Britain into ruin.

Shoutout also to THE best swords though: Galatine and Secace. Galatine belongs to Gawain and is of equal power to Excalibur — the Lady of the Lake gifted it to Gawain as being the other half of Excalibur. Personally, it cements my own idea in that Gawain, Arthur’s beloved nephew and one of his most trusted advisors, was always meant to be his heir. Secace is Lancelot’s sword and in true Lancelot fashion he only named his sword because everyone else was and he didn’t want to be left out. The Red Hilt Sword (which belongs to Lancelot) is discussed here and here by my beloved friend Lou Gringolet.

lil study sketch of John Blanche's Fulgrim

Not Aurora-related, but I really like your answer in the recent OSPod about just clicking w/ the ace label but not having that same certainty about romantic orientations, because I think I'm that but in reverse-- it's only important to me that I'm aromantic.

So, thank you for putting it into words ^^ Have a nice Pride Month!

Ultimately we all gotta remember that labels are tools, not obligations. If a label helps you understand your wants and needs better, fuck yeah! If the label instead feels like a prison denying you growth and possibility, it's not helpful and you can drop it!

I think our growing awareness of the diversity of human sexuality and gender identity has sort of resulted in a feeling of "everyone has a special box they fit in with a flag and a community and a predictable suite of wants and needs". The problem is, almost nobody understands themselves down to the minutest perfect detail with no possibility of error, growth or change. What is an orientation, if not a broad-strokes categorization of "what kind of relationship would make this person most happy"? How bizarre is it to try and lock down a concept THAT complicated on the first try??

There's a joy in recognition of "oh, this is ME, I didn't know it was an option but there I am." In my experience it's a sense of sudden freedom - specifically the freedom to simply exist as one naturally and comfortably exists. But trying on labels that DON'T invoke that feeling can sometimes result in the exact opposite sensation; rather than giving oneself freedom, it feels like it's cutting off possibility. For instance, "am I gay? Then I guess I can never find men attractive, that's a shame…" is an indicator that this label may not be helpful to apply. Accuracy is not really the concern, but the "everyone has a box" mindset makes it SEEM like the concern. It's not about being comfortable or fulfilled, but about being accurately categorized.

Very personal anecdote on that note: I, like many people, spent some time questioning my gender. I have been tomboyish since pretty much day one, and was frequently bullied for unladylike activities as well as broadly battered by garden-variety middle-school misogyny. I was made to feel wrong for pursuing the interests I had while being female - whether that was sports, STEM, gaming, tree-climbing, wearing unfashionable pants, or a million other completely genderless things I happened to enjoy. It made it difficult for me to tell if I felt unhappy because I was being MADE unhappy, or if it was because I was fundamentally wrong about myself and could not be happy as I was. Eventually I concluded that every time I thought "maybe it would be better if I was a boy", it was in the specific context of "so I could do <thing I wanted to do>" or "so people would stop being shitty to me about <innocuous thing>". I realized I enjoyed being perceived as a girl and I enjoyed being capable of "manly" things. I liked being strong, gruff, loud, chivalrous, reliable - and I liked being pretty and having long beautiful hair and nice boobs. Admittedly it took me having an honest to god stress dream about growing a beard to finally shake the intrusive thought of "what if I'm wrong about everything and I really CAN'T be a girl while liking these things???" Internalized misogyny can fuck you up pretty hard, but in hindsight, the gut-wrenching disappointment I felt whenever I contemplated that possibility was a good sign that it didn't personally fit me. The trans friends I discussed this with affirmed my conclusion - "dread" is not the appropriate response to self-discovery in the pursuit of happiness. In my case I had simply been told "you can either be a girl OR you can do all this cool shit you like" and all I ever wanted was both - abandoning either one felt like giving up on something important to me. I did the gender questioning, concluded I was a cis woman, and then stopped thinking about it. And that was fine.

This is why I think the label "queer" is absolutely invaluable. I may not know exactly what my romantic orientation is and I don't know what exact subgender I could be classified as with "girl but in a dude way", but I know I'm sure as hell not what society assumed I should be. I don't know what box I fit in, but I'm dead certain where I DON'T fit. Who cares about the specifics? Nobody can know me better than I know myself, and demanding categorization I can't provide helps nobody and stresses everybody. The core desire of the queer community is to be able to exist in peace and pursue happiness. If a label helps you do that - an acknowledgement that you are known, seen, and not wrong or broken to exist as you do - then that's perfect. But if you don't NEED to categorize yourself in certain ways to be happy, you do not have to. Overlabeling can stress you out, and sometimes "oh no, what if I'm <thing> and I'll NEVER be able to be happy unless I COMMIT to that???" can be a very dangerous and intrusive headspace to spiral into. Things done in pursuit of personal fulfillment can NEVER be treated as obligations. It's okay to not be sure, and it's okay to NEVER be sure.

Last Will by Nikolay Kurganov

redrew some Erin's to the best of my ability because the man won't leave my brain

I was rereading Aurora and was inspired to draw the blorbos having a nice time

Capes. Caaapes all over my Warhammer!

My genuine thoughts after I saw Ahriman's latest book cover for the first time, haha!

the void

Based off this post from @comicaurora , Tess and Alinua playing with Warhammer minifigs. I've been reading through the lore masterdoc recently and this image would NOT get out my head when I read that bit

The Black Rage and Red Thirst imply a further range or color coded ailments within the blood angels. Such as the Green Ache, the Yellow Rash, the Pink Yearn and the Blue Balls.