In The Morning Hours, When Dawn Stretches Like Silvery Fabric, Todd Sometimes Sees Neil.

in the morning hours, when dawn stretches like silvery fabric, todd sometimes sees neil.

he opens his eyes as little as he can, just a crack to let the light in, and suddenly the other bed isn't empty, stripped bare to the mattress- there's a figure on it, wrapped in blankets, still sleeping, chest rising and falling. gloriously, wondrously alive.

in the afternoon, when the sunlight is rich and golden like buttered popcorn, todd sometimes sees neil.

he feels it before he can see him - the sudden sensation in the back of his neck that there's someone in the room with him. he doesn't turn his head, just glances in the direction of their window (theirs), and he can see the blurry figure of neil looking at his script, muttering lines under his breath. his breath that fills the room with the scent of chestnuts and living.

in the evening, when shadows creep over the floorboards like crocodiles in deep water, todd sometimes sees neil.

he's sitting in bed, reading, a lumpy pillow in his back, and suddenly he realises that neil is standing in front of the door, facing him with an unreadable expression. his hand is on the doorknob, he's ready to leave, but the green of his jumper says he'll come back.

in the weeks after neil's death, todd sometimes sees neil.

it's always short, and bittersweet, and todd knows it's not real, he's not crazy. he whispers neil's name and that's enough to make him leave, and todd sits there with an empty bed, an empty window, an empty space in front of their door.

neil is gone, but he's all around, and sometimes it makes todd smile the whole day, a warm fire in his chest, and sometimes it makes him cry and scream at the emptiness in his room. life goes on.

Stick

I rewatched Dead Poets Society and realized how much of Stick we see.

HE'S A PART OF THE CEREMONY!

MY (BLURRY) BOY IS RIGHT THERE!

HE'S THE FIRST ONE TO STAND UP AND FOLLOW MR. KEATING!

HE'S MESMERIZED BY MR. KEATING'S LESSON! LOOK AT HIS FACE!

HE WAS LAUGHING AT CHARLIE'S JOKE HERE! HE WOULD'VE HEARD ABOUT THE DPS!

HE WAS CLAPPING FOR NEIL WHEN HE GOT CAST AS PUCK!

HE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO CLAP FOR TODD AFTER HE RECITED HIS POEM!

HE WAS WAITING TO CHECK ON CHARLIE!

HE ATTENDED STORYTIME WITH THE POETS!

HE WAITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHRIS...

...AND FOLLOWS KNOX TO HEAR MORE ABOUT IT!

HE STOOD WITH THE CLASS IN HONOUR OF MR. KEATING!

I HAD to add these:

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thatonebuglivinginurpillow

11 months ago

Thomas Perry was Neil Perry’s undoing, and his doom. He had killed Neil before Neil ever had a chance to live, as we know, cut flowers can only live a short while before they wilt unless they’re helped to extend their life. But they cannot be saved, and they will die before their rightful time.

They will die before they’d have died had they been left in the healthy ground they were to flourish in.

Neil Perry died young, a teenager. He was a cut flower, stem in water.

His father pulled him from the ground and left him to wilt, watched him with hardened eyes like a wilting flower will be able to do anything more than wilt.

It was his friends, acting and Mr Keating that acted as water to keep him going after Mr Perry had ripped him from the ground.

That night of the play, Mr Perry angrily pulled Neil from the water that had been keeping him going, and left him his final hours to wilt and die.

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thatonebuglivinginurpillow

7 months ago

regulus black got asked to be james' boyfriend on january 4th, 1976, his fifth year and the day the sun was closest to earth. he thought it was always meant to be like that.

and he died on july 5th, 1979. the day the sun was farthest from earth. with his last breath, he realised it was also always meant to be like that.

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thatonebuglivinginurpillow

1 year ago

Dead Poets Society: Some Thoughts and Analysis

Essentially a stream of consciousness I had while rewatching the movie today. In chronological order as I was making notes!

✒️ Charlie talks so much with his eyebrows

✒️ Todd is tasked with taking minutes of the meetings, but I don't believe we ever see him actually do so (although it would have been nice if he did)

✒️ Cameron looks so much like a fisherman when he's smoking his pipe

✒️ Cameron's distaste for Charlie (and often for the rest of the boys) is evident super early on (e.g. when they walk out of Mr Keating's first class and Cameron says "do you think he'll test us on that stuff?" And, when he gets shut down, he throws a very angry look at Charlie and the poets. This happens several times, but as far as I remember we never see Cameron retaliate.) From this, while I don't like it, I understand why Cameron did what he did at the end of the movie because I think he felt undermined by the others and he was considered 'useful' and 'smart' for the school

✒️ Also, I do not accept that Cameron's name is Richard Cameron, he's pulling a Zendaya and goes by one name only

✒️ Mr Keating looks so disappointed in Charlie when saying "Thank you, Mr Dalton, you just illustrated the point"

✒️ I think Knox kissing Chris at the party, while somewhat gross, is necessary to show that Carpe Diem isn't always the right thing to do, as is Charlie putting the article in the paper - i think maybe Chris not ending up with Knox would have hammered this home, especially because she seems perfectly happy with Chet. Of course, Chet's response to what happened at the party isn't fair, but it is definitely what I can see a teenage boy on the high school football team in the 50's doing. Don't choke on the bone, Knoxious!

✒️ Is Charlie trying to get thrown out of school? With the article in the paper stunt, he must have known how serious the repercussions would be, so maybe already he was considering getting out of school because he felt it wasn't the right path for him

✒️ "You made a liar out of me, Neil" - Mr Perry, I hate you

✒️ Did all of the poets, minus Neil and Knox, really squeeze into Keating's car?!

✒️ Neils little face when he comes out of the curtain, and how quick it falls when he sees his father - he's like a little kid showing a finger painting to a parent who insults it, he just wants his Dad to be proud of him

✒️ Mr Keating's face when Neil drives away after the play - I think he had an idea what was coming

✒️ That zoom in on Neil's face when his father's saying "more of this acting business, you can forget that"- he knew, then, that his dad would never change and what he was going to do

✒️ I want the doorknobs in the Perry house, specifically Neil's

✒️ The first time I watched this movie, I was so on edge when Neil was standing in front of the open window, thinking he was going to jump, and when he didn't I was like 'phew', and then the thing happened and my blood sugar spiked way up

✒️ Mr Perry saying 'my poor son' - i don't know, it rubs me up the wrong way, he has a name, he is not simply an extension of you

✒️ Cameron isn't there when the poets tell Todd what happened to Neil

✒️ The lingering image of Charlie with a tear down his face is so beautiful

✒️ Knox just clinging to Todd in the snow

✒️ The comparison between the deleted scene of Neil and Todd running lines by the lake when it's sunny and Todd running towards the lake screaming Neil's name 💔

✒️ Similarly, the comparison between Todd not wanting to speak at all in the meetings, and then the deleted scene where he reads a poem after Mr Perry takes Neil away

✒️ Charlie not singing during Neil's assembly

✒️ Ave means farewell in literature, and Charlie closing his eyes when it's sang is beautiful

✒️ Charlie carries on smoking when Cameron's coming into the attic meeting - he either knows it's Cameron or doesn't care who tf catches him doing anything bad anymore

✒️ I don't think Cameron ever actually 'believed' in Mr Keating, definitely not to the extent the others did - he never called him captain, for example, except when he realised everyone else in the common room was, and air quotes the word 'captain' in the attic. So, it raises the question why he went along with everyone even so?

✒️ While I do somewhat sympathise with Cameron, that is one of the most satisfying punches in movie history

✒️ I think Todd's parents weren't that different from Neil's, Todd's dad is clearly very authoritarian from the minute or so he's on screen (and the fact that Todd signs the paper) and his Mom says nothing in his defense, but the way Todd mouths 'Mom' breaks my heart

✒️ In what universe does acting = what Neil did? All those theatre kids and their evil, satanic rituals, forcing our kids away from school 🙄 I hate you, Mr Perry and Mr Nolan

✒️ Todd's the last one to stand up when Nolan walks into Keating's classroom

✒️ Mr Nolan complimenting Mr Pritchard's introduction is so ridiculously funny to me considering what Keating made them do to it

✒️ Mr Keating's smile to Todd through the door in the classroom has the same energy as "All my love to you poppet. You're going to be alright."

In conclusion, I adore this film.

Robin Williams, O Captain, My Captain 🫡❤️

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thatonebuglivinginurpillow

4 months ago

YESSS, SOMEONE COMMISSIONED ANOTHER COMIC BOOK ARTIST FOR JONDAMI. THE HOLY SUPERBAT TRINITY HAS BEEN COMPLETED 😭😭 large, medium and small 🥹 each ship gets a kiss 🫠💕