Stick

but you know what really gets to me? how deeply and instinctively steve associates bucky with solace. with love. with mutual devotion.

he sees bucky again for the first time since 1945, standing on the business end of a gun, and through the pain and shock of this earth-shattering revelation, what does he say? what is the only thought he keeps coming back to? "even when i had nothing, i had bucky." which is such a powerful and, and intimate line, it knocks the breath out of you.

he has a moment to himself to gather his thoughts, and where does his mind travel to? to the lowest point of his life. the day he had to bury the only parent he had ever known, and found himself entirely alone in the world. yet the focus of that memory isn't so much on steve's grief, as you would expect; it's rather on bucky's comforting presence, his support, his unconditional affection. it's bucky offering to be steve's home, both literally and figuratively, and reminding steve that this, this thing between them, it's forever, no matter what.

there's just, this unspoken but very palpable tenderness between them, that steve keeps calling back to throughout the movie.

even when bucky's actively shooting at him, stabbing him, punching him with all the superhuman strength in his arm, steve doesn't see a heartless killing machine that must be stopped. even beaten to a pulp and on his way to bleeding to death, when steve looks up at bucky, he only ever sees the boy who loved him. the boy he has loved his whole life.

and now, now bucky's the one who has nothing. bucky's been stripped of everything: his name, his humanity, his sense of self, his freedom, his past. his entire life. for the past 70 years, he has been nothing but a weapon passed from hand to hand, used and brutalized without remorse.

and steve walks into that helicarrier determined to show him that what bucky told him that day, all those years ago? it goes both ways. that even now that bucky's got nothing, he still has steve, even if bucky doesn't remember that yet.

steve takes his helmet off, and lets go of his shield, and lays himself bare to bucky's rage - makes himself vulnerable in every way he possibly can - to show bucky that no matter what, there is one person in this world who loves him, and always will. that he's not alone, not anymore. steve will never let that happen again, even if it costs him his own life.

like god, if that isn't tenderness, i don't know what is.

there’s something so beautiful in seeing dead poets society in black and white. It’s like removing the colour just lets me see their raw emotions in a completely different way idk

brb I’m crying in a corner

i lied. put your clothes back on. we're going to watch dead poets society while i psychoanalyse every character and express my thoughts after every scene cut.

Shows you should save physically immediately + addition I recommend reading

Over the Garden Wall -- It's being pulled from HBO Max on August 31 and knowing HBO, there's a chance it'll be pulled sooner. *I have now made a Google Drive of all the episodes of OTGW. Please, please, please, PLEASE, save these on a physical device.

The Owl House -- Disney has tried to bury this show many times (giving it a weird release schedule, cutting the budget, etc) and has even cancelled the show. Also, Disney+ is going to nuke their catalogue soon and I doubt TOH will survive*I have now also saved all the episodes of TOH. Click here for the posts with all of the episodes

Amphibia -- I know less about the behind the scenes BS than TOH but Amphibia was screwed over by Disney mainly by poor promotion. Also since one of the protagonist is openly bisexual*, like TOH, I really can't imagine this would survive.*Amphibia has also been saved. Go here for the post with all the episodes.

Steven Universe -- Cartoon Network cancelled Steven Universe and gave it a weird release schedule, it has also just been pulled from HBO Max.

Gravity Falls -- Once again, Disney+ is going to nuke their catalogue at some point in the future and between Wendy being canonically bi, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland being in a relationship, and Alex Hirsch (being the amazing man that he is) constantly calling Disney out on their BS, I imagine that Disney would be more than willing to nuke Gravity Falls. *I’ve also saved Gravity Falls now go to the main post here to see all the episodes.

and most importantly

Every single show, book, game, fanfiction, movie, etc you've ever loved

We now know that at any moment's notice, streaming services can and will just nuke their catalogue without hesitation. If it's digital, it can be removed and there's a likely chance you'll never see it again.

So, please take some time to save anything you love on an external device. It could be a box set (it can be official or fan-made one), a USB, or anything.

If you have a physical copy of something, it's yours forever and no one can take that away from you.

*Edit because I’ve seen some confusion about this. Read this again, it’s “one of the protagonists” not “the protagonist.” Sasha is the one who’s bi, Anne’s sexuality hasn’t been confirmed.

Also in addition to this, people have reblogged this to say Steven Universe is still on HBO. Since I don’t have HBO, I’ve been going off of what people have been saying and I’ve seen it mentioned that HBO was taking off SU. You should still save it though.

*Edit 2 if any of the links here don’t work, check the original post as I might’ve changed/updated them. If that still doesn’t work, send me an ask or DM I’ll give them to you.

in the morning hours, when dawn stretches like silvery fabric, todd sometimes sees neil.

he opens his eyes as little as he can, just a crack to let the light in, and suddenly the other bed isn't empty, stripped bare to the mattress- there's a figure on it, wrapped in blankets, still sleeping, chest rising and falling. gloriously, wondrously alive.

in the afternoon, when the sunlight is rich and golden like buttered popcorn, todd sometimes sees neil.

he feels it before he can see him - the sudden sensation in the back of his neck that there's someone in the room with him. he doesn't turn his head, just glances in the direction of their window (theirs), and he can see the blurry figure of neil looking at his script, muttering lines under his breath. his breath that fills the room with the scent of chestnuts and living.

in the evening, when shadows creep over the floorboards like crocodiles in deep water, todd sometimes sees neil.

he's sitting in bed, reading, a lumpy pillow in his back, and suddenly he realises that neil is standing in front of the door, facing him with an unreadable expression. his hand is on the doorknob, he's ready to leave, but the green of his jumper says he'll come back.

in the weeks after neil's death, todd sometimes sees neil.

it's always short, and bittersweet, and todd knows it's not real, he's not crazy. he whispers neil's name and that's enough to make him leave, and todd sits there with an empty bed, an empty window, an empty space in front of their door.

neil is gone, but he's all around, and sometimes it makes todd smile the whole day, a warm fire in his chest, and sometimes it makes him cry and scream at the emptiness in his room. life goes on.

Still love drawing Neil :)

the mauraders fandom is just a big group project where we keep going of each other's ideas and making it bigger and bigger while all simultaneously ignoring the teachers instructions cause we hate her

i propose a new category: canon denial.

me (staring out the window forlornly at the rain): everything makes me think of him…

my friend: who?

me (wiping a tear away): regulus black…