I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

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But see, now he’s the stupid one. Idiots has six letters

playing crossword puzzles

blaise: what’s a five-letter word for someone who’s stupid

draco: HARRY

harry: DRACO

blaise, under his breath: idiots.

Gosh dang it WHY CAN I PICTURE THIS SO CLEARLY

Red Queen au but everything remains the same except Thomas is alive and he does the "look at me, this is not you" to Maven

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

The snail looks exactly the same too 🐌

So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…

First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.

Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.

Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).

Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.

It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better. 

Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.

Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.

Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.

Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.

Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded. 

Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.