Who's Handling Who In This Relationship Anyway??

if you ever think about settling for less than you deserve just remember that andrew minyard quit smoking in fear his lungs wouldn't allow him to be fast enough to save the man he loves in case he needs it

beloved exy boyfriends 🤲

His face is my personal nightmare

I don’t lose this fight 😬

Doodle

kevin day you fake IDGAFer i saw you call jean your brother and being rude to an interviewer despite your PR image, I saw you send him a new postcard when you found out what happened to the old ones, I saw you being glad Jean loves cooking, loves something, despite the fact he becomes someone you can't recognise any more. I saw you agree to keep training Neil even though he was doomed by his father, I saw you giving Dobson the clear to speak with Jean about your trauma despite not trusting her because she's Andrew's and oh yeah speaking of, I saw you promising him you'll find something he can live for and you did. you fucking liar

The more I think about the differences between how the Trojans show affection vs how the Foxes do, the more I come to the conclusion that they unwittingly created the perfect environment for Jean and Neil’s arcs respectively.

Take for example the way Cat and Laila show Jean affection. The forehead kisses, the hugs, the endless reassurance and compassion. It may go without saying but Neil would’ve hated it if he ended up in that situation. He would’ve booked it faster than you can say Wesninski. But Jean? I mean sure he was baffled at first, but the way he grows to lean into it? The way he shows affection the same way back? Jean needed that brand of affection in a way Neil won’t ever. He needed to learn that he was deserving of such love; that there are people out there now who cared about him as deeply as he does them.

Neil on the other hand needed to learn a whole different set of lessons. The Foxes showing him that they care was less such obvious displays of love and more about patience in the face of his complications. More about their willingness to stick by him when the fabricated life he clung so hard to unraveled at the seams. Jean wouldn’t have flourished as much in that environment because he didn’t need understanding as much as he needed love. He didn’t need someone to help piece his life back together as much as he needed someone to love what was already there.

Neil is like an innocent looking stray cat that the foxes still kept even when they got bit; while Jean is like an abused show dog that the Trojans nurse back to health. And good lord do I love them both for it.

i think about this everyday btw

Neil Josten is a really fucking phenomenal protagonist. Unreliable narrator or not, I really enjoyed his internal monologue. The reason I like his perspective so much is because we can we constantly see his internal conflict. He KNEW his father would find him, he KNEW about the Moriyamas and was terrified and he STILL CHOSE the Foxes and Andrew and Exy over it all. Even when he knew he was about to DIE, he told himself to that it was enough, because it was more than he ever thought he'd have.

I just- god, I love him so much. He's should be considered a national treasure. Anyway, happy birthday to Neil Abram Josten and thank you for coming to my TED talk.

"Ninety-nine percent" they make me wanna implode