Latest Posts by super-midnightwarrior-blog - Page 4

Brie Larson showed up at an AMC theatre in a Captain Marvel tracksuit and hung out with some people because she’s fucking awesome. (x)

photo study

Which starter will you choose?

I never thought that day would come  JUNGKOOK HYUNG!

Reigen Arataka: *exists*

Every Psychic Within A 500 Mile Radius: Please tell me how to live my life.

reconciliation

Really wanted to do some portraits of the Haddock family.

Meirl

if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money

I can’t wait for Carol to meet Shuri and be like, “FINALLY someone upgraded Earth tech, THANK YOU!”

DM after failed stealth roll: Hmm… You try to sneak around but you’re dummy thicc and the clap from your ass cheeks alerts the guards. Roll for initiative.

i think the most wholesome prank i ever pulled was with a friend who had a polaroid camera and we were out one evening walking around the neighbourhood and this one neighbour had a garden gnome and we kidnapped him for the evening and took a bunch of polaroids of his wild night out: gnome on the swing set, gnome climbing a tree, gnome laying down next to an empty bottle of vodka, gnome just causing an absolute ruckus and then we took all the pictures and put them in a little see-through food storage bag to keep them dry and put them under the gnome who we left on the doorstep of the house we got him from 

anyway a few nights later we walked past again and wondered if the photos had been found and what the person must have thought and then we saw the gnome in pride of place balanced on the window ledge, and stuck to the inside of the window behind him were the polaroids with a sign saying “The Boy On Tour” 

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: You’ve got some frog skeletons AND a matchbook. You are fuckin set aries. You’re good, nothing can stop you.

Taurus: Today for tauruses, switching to spanish for uno momento will cause you to burst into flames so dont do that.

Gemini: Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet, and friends are archenemies that havent tried to kill you yet.

Cancer: Today your illicit plans will cross the border into a full on fiendish plot. Congratulations cancer!

Leo: Instinct will kick in when you realize you havent dug up any old grave, you dug up the grave of famous Belgian painter James Ensor. 

Virgo: Turbo Botany.

Libra: All is done Libra. Let the past wash over you like a bathtub full of orange soda. 

Scorpio: Never attribute to bad luck that which can be attributed to a CIA counterintelligence operation.

Ophiuchus: No way of telling until you try. Wear insulated clothing, and the stars say not heat insulated, electrical insulation. 

Sagittarius: The heavenly bodies align to protect you today Sagittarius. If you get into trouble, the planet Jupiter will show up with a switchblade. 

Capricorn: No rest for the wicked, and that includes you. 

Aquarius: Communication. Write your affections on your significant other in permanent marker while they are asleep. Apologize profusely afterwards. 

Pisces: When I asked the stars for your fortune they showed me a bunch of leaves they had glued to the wall so it spelled out “God is Dead”.

why the bleeding hell would you choose “Miles shoplifts art supplies” when “Miles rolls up to the checkout counter fully suited-up like ‘hi im Spiderman and I’d like to buy these 180 markers please here’s my allowance- I mean my paycheck from my adult grownup job’” is infinitely cuter and funnier and also not racist

Unspoken Rules || Ben Hardy x Reader

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Rating: E (18+)

Warnings: SMUT (fingering, phone sex, thigh riding, fem receiving oral sex, doggy style, spanking, unprotected sex, squirting, general debauchery)

Word Count: 11k (sister snapped)

A/N: First, thank you so much for 700 followers! I’m so grateful for all of y’all! Second, I’m not saying this is my magnum opus, but,,, this is my magnum opus. It was a labor of love, so I hope you enjoy! My ask box is open, by the way, so stop by and say hello!

Reblogs/Feedback are appreciated!!!

Requests: Open!

Amy’s apartment is crowded, so much so that you have to squeeze by her cousins and family friends to get into the kitchen, where all the wine is kept. And you need wine.

“You’re the maid of honor?” An accented voice asks behind you. You turn and nod, only to find yourself facing a total stranger, and a handsome one at that. Blonde, with gorgeous green eyes and the build of a Greek sculpture, you wonder how on Earth you’ve never seen him before.

A hum of affirmation leaves your lips as you sip at your drink. “That’s right,” you reply. “Don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“I’m Ben,” he replies. “Joe’s friend.”

Your eyes widen and you nod. “So you’re the best man,” you hum, a grin spreading across your features. “I heard the name, but didn’t ever get a face to put it with.” You offer a bright smile as you finish pouring your wine. “Nice to finally meet you.”

Keep reading

Tips for fight scenes

If you get punched in the nose your eyes will water, a lot, even if it didn’t really hurt

Your body follows your head, your head gets pushed one way and your body will want to go that way

Getting hit in the stomach isn’t good, it hurts, getting hit in the diaphragm is worse. Causes your lungs to kinda spasm and make it hard to breathe (diaphragm is between stomach and chest)

When fighting a larger person they will have an easier time forcing you back

The jaw is the knockout button. Hit it hard enough and down for the count

Back of the head is very vulnerable, can cause serious damage if hit there

Kidney punches. They hurt. A lot.

People with experience will try to be where they are comfortable. A wrestler will try to get their opponent on the ground, a boxer will stay on their feet, etc.

Easiest counter to a kick is to get closer to whoever is throwing it, then they won’t have enough room for it to be effective

If you want realism, avoid fancy, flashy moves. They’re less practical and easier to counter.

psychological researcher placing a marshmallow on a plate: I just have to step out of the room for a bit and then when I come back you can eat this.

me: *nods solemnly*

researcher returning to find two marshmallows on the plate: what the fuck

Thanks to @puckingsassyjools, I have now found my favorite wikipedia article ever.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ice_hockey_nicknames

To highlight a few of the best:

Bobrovsky’s nickname is just his name, but LOUD

“Squidney”

How many hockey players are we gonna call dad/daddy?

so many

“injured”

Johnny Hockey is now a registered trademark (I really hope they say TM out loud)

wow rude

“Mack, stylized as MacK, released a new record yesterday…”

“Knees breathin’ heavy”?????

and they spelled Corndog McTwinkletoes wrong

“Yeast Infection”

I honestly can’t pick a favorite

these are honestly getting out of hand

“WIFEY”

“Justin Bieber of Hockey”

“Captain Serious”

and finally

the best

“my battery is low and it’s getting dark” is so hauntingly human, so crushingly lonely. I can’t articulate the deep, profound ache that sentence evokes. It’s acceptance and defeat and terror and sadness all at once, all from one tiny machine we asked to explore the stars for us.

all urban fantasy fiction set in the present day automatically sucks by refusing to acknowledge that dwarves would go apeshit for minecraft

Peter: Hey Carol, can I ask you something important?

Carol: Sure, Peter, what is it?

Peter:

Carol:

Peter:

Peter: ᴰᵒᵉˢ ᵍᵒᵒˢᵉ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶜᵒᵒˡˀ

So I saw Captain Marvel tonight and all I can say is that Carol ABSOLUTELY would have been 100% into the fact that Peter Quill tried to challenge Ronan the Accuser to a dance-off

unless one character in the equation is a heinous asshole or something, i am entirely impervious to love triangles. 

we make a lot of “my last two braincells” jokes but the truest one for me is that scene in always sunny where mac says “i’m having a panic attack, i’m actually having a panic attack” and charlie says “drink more coffee, it’ll help you calm down”

men really love to be like “toxic masculinity is bad but there’s a secret good kind of masculinity that only men are capable of and all women and children need in their lives.” Christian gender essentialism but make it woke!

If you could instantly be granted fluency in 5 languages—not taking away your existing language proficiency in any way, solely a gain—what 5 would you choose?

me on ellen 

ellen: so i hear you’re a big fan of the fallout series

me: yeah 

*loud, thundering booms are heard from outside of the studio and a siren begins to wail as the audience breaks out into complete pandemonium* 

me: oh my god ellen you didn’t

woman in a victorian novel: *develops a fever from worrying too much*

me, shivering and sweating with stress-induced anxiety: wtf that’s so unrealistic lol

hot take i know its fun to joke about it because how school systems have treated us all poorly and made us out to believe that we are stupid but none of you are stupid. none of you are stupid. there are so many types of intelligence and just because yours isnt the one that lets you excel in a broken system that doesnt mean youre stupid