Twilight But Instead Of A Dramatic Reveal About How Edward’s A Vampire Bella Just Shows Up To Class

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

Lancelot was always really nice and good when it came to knowing Merlin had magic but you can fucking bet Gwaine would have gone batshit fucking ballistic with the news. He’d poison himself just to see if Merlin could cure him. Arthur’s head would be shaved bald every night just so merlin had regrow it before he woke up. He’d eat a goddamn torch and set himself on fire, shave off one of Gaius’s eyebrows, and take every door off the hinges and hide them all one night. One day he broke every fucking window in the castle in december and merlin woke up wondering why the hell his nipples could cut glass before realizing that Drunken Bitch Knight™️ was at it again. Gwaine would hold his crossbow up to the sky, shoot God in the face, and ask merlin to pull it out

After more than 6 years of procrastination…

…it is finished.  

Stay tuned for the sequel tomorrow and happy May the Fourth!

if lemony snicket wrote harry potter

Krum attacked Fleur, who responded with “Sacré bleu!” This exclamation is a phrase with many possible meanings and connotations. Literally, it translates to ‘sacred blue’, a phrase which does not appear to make much literal sense, and might lead an earwitness to suspect that the speaker is invoking some kind of nefarious coded phrase. The French invented it as a way to swear without invoking the name of God, as ‘bleu’ and ‘Dieu’ are similar sounding words, such as ‘look’ and ‘book’, or ‘code’ and ‘forebode’, or even ‘last breath’ and ‘painful death’.

This history, while fascinating, is not in fact relevant to this situation. For I, dear reader, happen to be privy to exactly what the young Miss Delacour meant when she exclaimed “Sacré bleu!”, thanks to a chance interview in a crowded fish statue three years after the fact. And so “Sacré bleu” in fact here means ‘oh fucking shit’.

we are not born to die!! what are you talking about!! do you think a book begins just to finish? do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? you don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes!! to learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken!! you listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw!!! to cry and smile and swell with the harmonies!! yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play!! the final act, the closing of the curtains - we are not born to take a bow and exit stage left!! we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feelfeelfeel!!!  we are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live!!!

My six-year-old (who has recently discovered stop-motion animation) was off school, so the two of us made this.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier incorrect 9

fully serious, if you have a bunch of stickers and you don’t know how to use them bc you have too much anxiety about putting them in the “right” place my first advice is to accept that all joy is temporary so just put it on your water bottle or binder or whatever and accept that it will make you happy for however long it is meant to and one day be gone and that’s fine.

If you can’t do that my second advice is to get a binder full of those clear plastic card slots and create a sticker collection you can look through like Pokémon cards in 2001

ultimately i think kindness is the most radical thing you can do with your pain and your anger. it’s like, you take everything awful that’s ever been done to you, and you throw it back in the world’s teeth, and you say no, fuck you, i’m not going to take this.  you say this is unacceptable. you say that shit stops with me.

humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.  

i’m gonna sleep and i’m gonna wake up and i swear by everything in this deadly horrible universe i’m gonna make someone happy.