Am I The Only One That Doesn’t Think Loki Is Narcissistic? I Think He Craves Atttention Because He

Am I the only one that doesn’t think Loki is narcissistic? I think he craves atttention because he doesn’t have enough. He feels neglected and tries to make things about himself to attract attention. In the scene where Loki explains his theory to Mobius, he looks like an excited puppy. He is so excited for the possibility that maybe for once he’s right. That behaviour is something that is very common in neglected children. Sif says to Loki that he is alone and always will be alone. His whole life he had no real friends and the only person that ever believed in him was Frigga. He was always overlooked and lived in the shadows of Thor’s greatness. Loki said that he hurts people as a part of the illusion for a desperate attempt at having the control that he has never had. A narcissist would never be able to admit this and would not even believe it. Narcissism by definition is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self-image and attributes. We know that this is not Loki because from what we’ve seen throughout the mcu is that he does not think of himself as amazing. He is self-critical and insecure. Throughout his lifetime, he has been told over and over again that he is not enough and I think that he may say “I am a god” and “I am burdened with glorious purpose” to convince himself and others that he is great. Loki is not narcissistic, he hides his insecurities behind a shield that resembles narcissism.

CHAPTER 258 ANALYSIS

So we see Jian Yi leave to fetch Xiao Hui a drink like the gentlman he is and therefore leave Zhan Zheng Xi and Xiao Hui alone. The air is tense and quiet. Zhan Zheng Xi isn’t a very talkative or loud person. Most of the time he doesn’t speak unless spoken to. He’s an introvert and very much likes to keep to himself except for when it involves Jian Yi (but this doesn’t mean he can’t be sociable). The air doesn’t appear to be awkward for Zhan Zheng Xi. He’s calm, stoic, poker faced as usual; Xiao Hi, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. Xiao Hui’s face is flushed because she is alone with the guy she has a huge crush on, she’s nervous and also slightly uncomfortable because said guy rejected her not too long ago.

During the short but tense silence, she seems to be pondering something. Although nervous, face flushed, a drip of sweat rolling down her cheek, she asks Zhan Zheng Xi if he likes someone.

Now this is interesting because it was obvious from before, when Xiao Hui insulted Jian Yi calling him an abnormal / disgusting gay that Xiao Hui knew / kind of suspected that Jian Yi liked Zhan Zheng Xi. However, it seems that after Zhan Zheng Xi rejecting her, she herself realized that Zhan Zheng Xi had mutual feelings for Jian Yi. It must have been something that has been going through her mind for a while now. We have repeatedly seen how the student body act / react to seeing Zhan Zheng Xi and Jian Yi together, a lot of them stare in shock and/or amazement, it’s pretty obvious to most people there who have seen them interact that their feelings for each other are more than platonic. It didn’t seem to be as obvious to Xiao Hui at first but now it seems as clear as day to her. So she finally begins to wonder about Zheng Xi’s feelings for Jian Yi.

Zhan Zheng Xi responds with a rhetorical question. One about the spectrum of human emotions. At first it almost seems as if he is trying to avoid her question with another but he doesn’t. It actually reveals quite a bit. In a conversation I was having with @homolygamous, she said something that I agreed with: “Zheng Xi said that what he feels for Jian Yi is more than just an average person’s definition of liking a person. It’s like he’s saying that what he feels for Jian Yi can’t be explained in simple words / feelings because what is feels for him is far more unfathomably deeper than that”. Zhan Zheng Xi has always been in love with Jian Yi and he is finally, slowly but surely, coming to realize his own feelings. He knows his feelings for Jian Yi are far deeper than just a ‘like’. His feelings are so deep and ardent that he has a hard time explaining it which is actually what he says right after, “It’s hard to explain to you..” when he actually attempts to answer her question, not avoiding it at all. Also notice how Jian Yi was the first and only person he thought of when asked this question. Of course Jian Yi would be the first person to come to his mind. Once again affirming, the person he has feelings for is Jian Yi.

At this point, using context clues and simple observation Xiao Hui is now sure that the person he is talking about is Jian Yi. She decides to be upfront about it and directly asks “Is it Jian Yi?” knowing full well the answer. She knows already. She knows the answer is yes. She wouldn’t be crying if she didn’t know his feelings for Jian Yi were mutual. Xiao Hui is crying because she is heartbroken — the guy she likes and is clearly still not over yet already has strong romantic feelings for someone else, for her it’s like a knife twisting inside her, to know that the suspicions she has been having were true. But we can also see that she is also smiling when she asks if its Jian Yi, because ultimately I think she does want happiness for the person she likes even if its not with her; just like when Zheng Xi rejected her, he still wished that someday he hoped she would find someone to make her happy even though he admitted the person for her would not be him. Her smile also seems to be a way to provide support for Zheng Xi, whether intentionally or not, and show that she is okay with it (him having feelings for another man, even though she had said those terrible things to Jian Yi back then).

Zhan Zheng Xi grins just ever so softly at this question. He is grinning at the thought of Jian Yi and his feelings for him. Zheng Xi’s “嗯” = ”en” “hng” “mm” is a very simple affirmation. Zheng Xi doesn’t say an explicit yes but the meaning is still there. He then continues to try and attempt to describe his deep feelings for Jian Yi.

[off topic: can you hear me screeching happily in the distance? now back on track] Zhan Zheng Xi emphasizes that Jian Yi is someone important, very important to him. It has always been obvious with his actions, but here we actually hear in Zheng Xi’s own words how significant Jian Yi is to him. This is probably the first instance in which we hear how he truly feels about Jian Yi, we’ve heard other semi-confessions like the “I want to be a grown up faster, become stronger so that I can protect you” but this one is different… especially given that its one he addresses after being directly asked if he has feelings for Jian Yi. Jian Yi has always been the most important person in his life, which isn’t to say that Zhan Zheng Xi doesn’t have other people important in his life (like his family) but Jian Yi more so, there is something about Jian Yi that just can’t be touched. No one can reach the level of significance and importance of Jian Yi to him. Which is why he calls Jian Yi irreplaceable. No one will ever touch his heart and soul like Jian Yi has. They have so much history, they are so far gone for one another, their feelings for the other is overwhelming. Jian Yi will always been his one true love. His one true soulmate.. reminds me a lot of when Old Xian created the illustration with the words “一生一世/for eternity/for life” printed on their shirts. No one can replace Jian Yi. Let how deep that is sink in. No one. Zhanyi’s feelings are mutual and Zheng Xi is finally starting to realize his. This development is so wonderful.

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sublimebakerygoopeggs

4 years ago

Severus and Regulus on the beach

Reg's and Sev's very hot Death Eater summer included:

- Appearing on a muggle beach right before the storm both wearing dark swimsuits

- Imperiusing muggles into buying them ice cream or giving them money (Reg doesn't need them but Snape might, back in Cokeworth)

- Trying out amortentia on guys present just to reject their lovesick confessions in mocking voices

- Blowing gum bubbles shaped like mini Dark Marks

- Experimental weather charms, amirite?

- Last but not least, bullying Peter who was unfortunate enough (although, who knows...) to mix in among the muggles. You can see that this encounter may have influenced his...tastes and loyalties in the future...

And it was all because Regulus wanted to get even with his brother who called them both sissies!

Do not try this at your local beach, kids! (Please don't take this too seriously, okay? I need to have fun once in a while.)

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