Latest Posts by strongshape - Page 5
it’s like insane that an ancient writer knew the words i needed to hear a thousand years on and could see me through all that time but also. it’s not surprising in the least bc they felt as i felt and they sang as i sang and they did everything i’ve ever done there is no state of being which they have not already passed i am nothing new i am not alone and that is a great joy to know
you can't just switch off years of unhealthy behaviors, negative thought patterns, and counterproductive emotions. but u can recognize them and be like 'i'm not engaging. this isn't the end of the world. i'm box breathing. i'm not giving those thoughts attention; i'm acknowledging them and letting them go. i'm going to take a break when i can.' don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't work or you do something that feels like you've set yourself back. that doesn't help, either, lol
a lot of the people you guys are calling narcissists could easily be replaced with the word “asshole”
2024 LESSONS
jan: being alone does not have to mean being lonely
Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
mcapriglioneart
your life is not meaningless, you just haven't seen the sea in a while
Progress is still progress!
It doesn't matter if you hadn't done the things you were supposed to do. It doesn't matter that if you finished 1 thing out of 4 things. You don't have 3 more things to do, you have 1 less thing to complete.
It doesn't matter if you had relapsed after a day or 3 of productivity and healing into a spiral again. What matters is that you get back up and start again. Because now you're a bit stronger and more resilient than before.
It doesn't matter if all you did today was getting out of bed, eat and change your clothes while you did nothing else. Appreciate yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing those small things.
It doesn't matter if the only thing you did today was to focus on existing and on yourself alone. Be proud of surviving till the end of the day because you made it through knowing that there was a possibility of you not making it.
Progress is still progress. It doesn't matter if you take small or big steps. You're taking a step and that's all that matters.
18
Maybe they’re right. I am too much, too abrasive, too irritating. Too foolish, too clueless. I try to communicate and to understand where I’ve gone wrong. I try to learn and to do better. Instead, I feel like an idiot who isn’t ever going to get it.
work in progress
“Note to self: You’ve gotta do this for you. This is for you. This isn’t about anybody. Live for you. Honour you. Never lose sight of that.”
— Unknown
things to not dwell on:
people who treated you badly
things you can’t change
comparing yourself to others
things to think about more:
baby animals
people who love u unconditionally
good things in your life that make you happy
days and times to look forward to
To everybody needing it:
I’m really sorry to hear your day sucked
I’m not sure if tomorrow will be better for you, but it’ll be a reset
You’ll find the courage you need to do That Thing
You are perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine…more than just fine, even. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Take care of yourself tonight. It’ll be okay.
AIMEE WAI
A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.
Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.
What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.
Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.
What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.
Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.
What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.
Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.
It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
-Xanthe
Adapted from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
What is a need? (Adapted from this article)
It’s important to be connected to our needs because true needs are always in our best long term interest. Our needs for air, food, water, shelter, community, companionship, autonomy, respect, etc. are all in our best long term interest to fulfill.
Wants, on the other hand, don’t necessarily correlate with long term well-being. In fact, many wants, when fulfilled, actually contribute to our long term detriment.
Put another way: needs refer to the conditions that must be met in order for us to live a balanced life; whereas wants are strategies we use to fulfill our needs. This is why needs inherently map to long term well-being, while wants don’t have such a correlation. Wants can either contribute to our long-term wellbeing, or they contribute to our long-term detriment. In order for our wants to be good for us in the long-term, we must understand which needs they map back to.
Ideally, we should be connected to our needs first, and our wants second. When we become disconnected from our needs due to past trauma, we rely too heavily on our wants to guide our decision making. The disconnection from our needs increases the likelihood that we will attach to wants that lead to our long-term detriment.
Andrea Gibson, The Madness Vase
