oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too.
one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.
By the way, you’re worthy now.
Not when you’ve healed. Not even when you started your healing journey. You don’t need to be in a certain place on your healing journey.
You are worthy now, as you are. You don’t need to “earn it”.
Healing starts with a step forward....
You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.
I am going to see my dad today. He is still on the ventilator and probably will be for the next few days.
I am not ready to lose a parent.
I have hope that the hospital he’s at now can fix this. But I am still scared and overwhelmed.
u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw
You are not a product. You are a person. This means that regardless of whatever they did to you, you are not damaged goods. You are still whole, worthy and enough as you are.
I’m really sorry to hear your day sucked
I’m not sure if tomorrow will be better for you, but it’ll be a reset
You’ll find the courage you need to do That Thing
You are perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine…more than just fine, even. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Take care of yourself tonight. It’ll be okay.