Basically I’m Gay

goalies with shit defenders are braver than any us marine and deserve financial compensation

Drunk Stonesy is my new favourite thing… part one.

Could you write jealous Dele

dele usually loved that you got on with his friends and teammates, but when he hadn’t seen you in weeks and you were sat with Eric laughing every five seconds and giving him all of your attention he wasn’t a big fan of it. When you both left the Tottenham team dinner he was silent on the drive back but you thought nothing of it - you were tired after all. And it’s when you got back, in bed, rolled over and trying to sleep that he mentioned it. ‘Why don’t you just go to fucking Eric’s’ he spoke in a hoarse voice and it seemed so out of the blue to you because why on earth would you do that? A frowning dele awaited you as you turned over, eyes full of sadness and you raised a questioning eyebrow at him, ‘where’s that came from del?’ ‘Well you spent all your time with him tonight. I hadn’t seen you in two weeks and you don’t even look at me’. And you found it funny because he was the one who took you to the dinner, what were you supposed to do, ignore them all? ‘If you didn’t want me to speak to any of them you shouldn’t have taken me’ and he knows you’re right but he doesn’t want to admit it so he just snuggles into your neck, making unintelligible noises and you laugh, basking in the warmth of his body. ‘No need to be jealous, del. Eric’s got nothing on you.’

please do more nsfw (sort of, like the hickeys and stuff,) marcus rashford, need more of him in my life x

We all need more of him in our lives

and you’re getting ready for work, it taking longer than usual because you had to dedicate about 15 minutes to covering the purple bruises, cursing at Marcus in your head for causing this. And he comes up to you, wrapping his arms around you as you’re sat in front of your mirror, ‘get off Marcus’. And of course he’s not having that, laughing into your neck, kissing down it, arms tightening around you. ‘You’re taking of the makeup!’

*cough cough*

dating winksy would include?

him treating you constantly

not just to material things, but like running you a bath after a long day, listening to you complain about work or school, giving you a glass of wine

looking after you when you’re ill and buying you all your favourite things

just being all round caring because he’s definitely the most caring person that’s ever existed

Puppy dog eyes that you can’t refuse whenever he wants something

Wrapped up together in blankets on the sofa when he’s injured and wanting to watch the match

Not at all in letting him have sex with you when he’s injured

‘Okay maybe just a blowjob’

Damn those puppy eyes

Going about both your lives, not necessarily doing everything together, but always making sure to come home, pour yourselves a glass of wine and tell each other about it

Making sure to go out for a meal at least once a month: you take it in turns to pay

I love this smiling bastard.

I know none of you care but

Martin Dubravka is so underrated. He has the 6th highest amount of clean sheets in the league, plays for a worse team than all of the 5 above him and has made some incredible saves. It’s only because he plays for us that no one rates him much

I don’t know why but I’m such a whore for bald fuzzy peach Eric 😩 like I don’t understand y’all obsession for him to grow his hair back. He looks a lot hotter and bulkier like this.

I flip between the hairstyle I prefer to be honest. It is two very different Erics.

Prince Hair Eric = take him home to your Mum, go on long walks, have boozy picnics and cuddle.

Buzz cut Eric = (to take inspo from @sendinthehuskies) would have one hand on the steering wheel whilst gently squeezing the back of your neck with other one as you are doing unspeakable things to him as he’s driving.

Could you write about meeting John for the first time as the man united photographer at a game and you bump into each other and its playful jibes and a connection straight away and at the end of the night he's asking for your number wanting to take you out for coffee

And it’s when a football is launched in your direction as the players warm up, your photography being interrupted that he jogs up to you with floppy hair to collect it. ‘Hope you’re getting some nice photos’, came a Barnsley accent. And you laugh, ‘of my men in red, yes. Of you? Just photos.’ And he lets out a breath of a laugh and jogs off back to the circle, continuing to train, occasionally looking back at you with a small smile. And throughout the game you take more photos of him, not purposefully but he was good to photograph and you swear in some of them he’s looking right at you. He’s subbed off in the 63rd minute, passing by you and throwing out a ‘Sure those photos of me aren’t good?’ And you shake your head as you laugh a little, watching him walk off smiling, and get back to photographing the men in red - now with no distractions.