John And Kyle Being John And Kyle 

who let stonesy do this?

okay being in a relationship with John but you had a huge fight and drifted apart and haven’t had much contact for weeks but one day you decided to show up to his game wearing a jersey with his name on it and the cameraman randomly shows you on the screen and John sees it during the game and is all distracted and gets subbed off and as soon as he leaves the pitch he texts you to meet him after the game

I actually really liked this idea, anon

so you hadn’t spoken to John in weeks, but it was a big derby match and you’d be damned if you missed it because of him, so you got ready, throwing on your Man City jersey and go to the game with your friend. And it was a good game. And intense game. You were telling your friend that City are playing well - but John was starting and playing well was what you really meant. And it’s after a goal, everyone celebrating, showing the gleeful fans that he sees you, up on the screen, screaming and hugging your friend and he notices it, of course he does. STONES written across your back and it looks right to him, and he keeps thinking about it, looking at were he thinks you are in the crowd, searching, hoping to get a chance to see you - his girl - with his name on your back. Like it should be. And it’s this distraction that ends with him getting subbed off, commentators agreeing with the decision - ‘Stones has slipped in quality this second half’ - but he doesn’t care. He’s getting his phone out as soon as he’s off, finding your undeleted contact name and sending you a message.

Meet me after the game x

And you see it at full time, high off the win, high off the thought of him. So of course you do.

john stones icons

like/credits

Fluffy Winks! Maybe something where his girl is stressed because of job and overworking herself. Then it's finally friday and weekend. And he makes sure she gets a rest; maybe some cuddling, bath or something.

Ugh I love him he’s like a puppy x

And you’d wander into his house, collapse on the sofa, hearing him pattering about upstairs but you’re too tired to go see what he’s doing, too stressed to even think about him and you’re thinking about work, pulling out your laptop and finishing things off - despite it being Friday. And he’s coming downstairs with a cheery ‘hi’, closing your laptop and talking you by the hand, ignoring your protests of having to finish your work. And he’s shushing you with ‘you can’t do good work if you’re stressed, like I can’t play good football when I’m stressed’ and he’s pulling you into the bathroom, a bubble bath inside and lit with candles. Then he starts undressing you, and you climb in, with Harry sat on the floor by the side, kissing you occasionally, listening, letting you get it all out and hugging your top half lightly - ‘I don’t want to get too wet’ he’d laugh. And you’d think about all the work you have to do for a split second second, but one look into his puppy dog eyes and it all melts away, the only thought now: ‘babe, are you not getting a dead leg?’. And of course he is. For you.

goalies with shit defenders are braver than any us marine and deserve financial compensation

25 - 30 for the asks ☺️

25) no players from my team play for England, but Freddie woodman is on the under 21s. A lot of them play for their own national teams though. Paul dummett plays for wales.

26) I’m going to go with the most recent one I can think of and it’s definitely schär’s messi-esque run during the Cardiff game. that’s probably not my all time favourite, but my most recent favourite

27) favourite match would be vs Arsenal when we were 4-0 down in the 26th (I think) minute and ended up drawing. Tiote with that 35 yard volley my god.

28) far too many bad Newcastle matches for me to pick I’m sorry

29) don’t really win many trophies nowadays (though we have like the ninth highest of all trophies by English clubs I think). Think I’ll just go with winning the championship because of the sole fact that everyone said we’d not win because most teams do badly when they get relegated. I don’t even know. Just felt good to win something. Obviously would’ve preferred not getting relegated. I’m not old enough to have experienced many of the others

30) I do like Newcastle’s crest yeah

Right but imagine John Stones saying ‘missus’ in his accent kill me

Nothing breaks my heart more than Rondon being fucked off because Ashley won’t buy him and Pérez leaving in the summer and little Almirón just sat all alone without his two pals in the dressing room

Send me asks about cute footballers; make me happy