Starteller-7 - Star

fucker! we wanted to trek those

I *firmly* believe Karlach snapped her own horn off so she could sleep on her side in Avernus. Anyways, here's some more silly wholesome headcanons. ✨💛✨

Abuser’s entire play doesn’t make sense when you take it that they mean what they say. They’ll call you selfish, heartless, too sensitive, worthless, a burden, and then turn around and  make sure that you cannot possibly leave their life. Just how is it possible that you are soo horrible and the worst person ever to have around, but they also make sure you have absolutely no way to get away from them? They’ll go and convince you that you’re lucky they tolerate you, that nobody else could possibly want you around or deal with your problems, but then they also do everything in their power to stop you from leaving or from even trying to find someone better to test that theory.

And if you go and call it out, if you say ‘if I’m so selfish and sensitive and awful then why don’t you find someone else to sell this shit to’, then suddenly their game changes, then they didn’t mean it, then their words suddenly have different, hidden meanings that you should have comprehended (even though in the moment they said it, it was 100% to make you feel like the worst human being possible), and you’re supposed to always assume they say horrid shit to you because they’re upset, or because they ‘care too much’.

Abusers give themselves the privilege to change the meaning of their behaviour daily, if it achieves a goal for them on one day, and then doesn’t on another, then it meant something else that will achieve the same goal (making you feel guilty and stupid and enable them to control you more easily). Whatever they said or promised or implied, in order to make you compliant and do what they say, is no longer valid as soon as you’ve done as they say.

You, however, need to be 100% clear with what you say and what it means, and you’ll be called out for saying something little to the left of the truth 3 years ago. You have to consider how your words make them feel, what situation it puts them in, how it affects their life. Their words, however, have absolutely nothing standing behind it, and if you call it out you’re stupid, if you assume they’re for real, you’re also stupid for assuming that. There’s no way to win. Their words are only there for the sake of manipulation, they don’t stand behind a single sentence the say.

This is my unethical polycule. The nonmonogamy is consensual and negotiated we're just evil in other ways.

happy sherlock holmes is allowed to feel things in public domain to all who celebrate

time loops where you’re trapped and it keeps resetting and you’re trying to figure out how to escape. vs time loops where you are in control, you keep slamming the reset button in panic because no not yet, no not THIS, trying to find an outcome you can live with. are you the only one who remembers? is it worse if you aren’t? imagine trying to break out of a time loop and discovering the god you’re trying to please is your friend. they keep dragging you back through this because you’re not getting the outcome they want. maybe that’s the same thing you want. maybe it’s not.

Honestly? My main piece of advice for writing well-rounded characters is to make them a little bit lame. No real living person is 100% cool and suave 100% of the time. Everyone's a little awkward sometimes, or gets too excited about something goofy, or has a silly fear, or laughs about stupid things. Being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition. Utilize that in your writing.

intelligence is knowing lots and lots of words.

wisdom is knowing that sometimes, regardless of all the words floating around your head, 'fuck' is absolutely the right word for a given situation, and no, using it does not make you sound like an idiot.

Astarion's response to his trauma being "I was hurt so why should I care if anyone else is hurt" while Halsin's is "I was hurt so I will make sure no one else is ever hurt again" is just chef's kiss