Abuser’s Entire Play Doesn’t Make Sense When You Take It That They Mean What They Say. They’ll

Abuser’s entire play doesn’t make sense when you take it that they mean what they say. They’ll call you selfish, heartless, too sensitive, worthless, a burden, and then turn around and  make sure that you cannot possibly leave their life. Just how is it possible that you are soo horrible and the worst person ever to have around, but they also make sure you have absolutely no way to get away from them? They’ll go and convince you that you’re lucky they tolerate you, that nobody else could possibly want you around or deal with your problems, but then they also do everything in their power to stop you from leaving or from even trying to find someone better to test that theory.

And if you go and call it out, if you say ‘if I’m so selfish and sensitive and awful then why don’t you find someone else to sell this shit to’, then suddenly their game changes, then they didn’t mean it, then their words suddenly have different, hidden meanings that you should have comprehended (even though in the moment they said it, it was 100% to make you feel like the worst human being possible), and you’re supposed to always assume they say horrid shit to you because they’re upset, or because they ‘care too much’.

Abusers give themselves the privilege to change the meaning of their behaviour daily, if it achieves a goal for them on one day, and then doesn’t on another, then it meant something else that will achieve the same goal (making you feel guilty and stupid and enable them to control you more easily). Whatever they said or promised or implied, in order to make you compliant and do what they say, is no longer valid as soon as you’ve done as they say.

You, however, need to be 100% clear with what you say and what it means, and you’ll be called out for saying something little to the left of the truth 3 years ago. You have to consider how your words make them feel, what situation it puts them in, how it affects their life. Their words, however, have absolutely nothing standing behind it, and if you call it out you’re stupid, if you assume they’re for real, you’re also stupid for assuming that. There’s no way to win. Their words are only there for the sake of manipulation, they don’t stand behind a single sentence the say.

More Posts from Starteller-7 and Others

1 year ago
I Probably Put Way Too Much Thought Into It But I Do Enjoy Making A More In Depth Story Rather Than Winging

I probably put way too much thought into it but I do enjoy making a more in depth story rather than winging it. I like to actually think about the worldbuilding, make sure things actually connect and make sense. I am a big history nerd and I feel like it's the closest I can get to writing my own history.


Tags
1 year ago

december???? what next??? 2024?????

1 year ago

if someone is regularly cruel to you, that's not okay at all. it doesn't matter if they do good things sometimes. they're hurting you, repeatedly. they probably aren't even giving you genuine apologies, right? at best, they just keep trying to justify their actions and wrap it up in pretty language and confident tone, don't they? does that sound like love and care to you? does that sound like anything other than self preservation and an attempt to keep control over you, so they can keep abusing/neglecting you without consequence?

that's not love. that's never been love. you deserve infinitely better, and i hope someday the both of us fully understand what it means to be safe and loved, as a mundane part of life. because that's how it should be. this is not all there is.


Tags
1 year ago

this is your regular, cranky reminder that you are never going to get people to give up something that humans inherently do by guilting and shaming them.

no matter how strongly you feel that people ought to feel bad about doing something, and no matter how correct you are about whether or not they should feel bad.

shaming someone is an emotional attack. and the more vitriolic your attempt at shame is, the more vicious the attack is. most people, by the time they're adults, recognize this, and have built up various defenses against emotional attacks.

the only people that shame 'works' on the way you want it to work are not mentally well. they have moral OCD, or scrupulosity issues, or have been abused so badly that they do not feel like they have the right to have boundaries, or some combination of the three.

most people with healthy boundaries and healthy emotional responses will see your weaponized shame as an attack on them, and will react accordingly. and they are correct to do so. because part of having healthy boundaries is not letting random people emotionally attack you, regardless of how correct they are.

you can convince people that you are right and they are wrong. but the harder you try to make them feel ashamed, the less effective you're going to be. you're just gonna trigger a bunch of people who are mentally ill and make everyone else pissed at you.


Tags
1 year ago

🦔

This is Charles. He wants to go on a journey around tumblr. could you show him around?

1 year ago

Right, considering the current state of corporate politics on this site, and that it seems that only those affected seem to be actively speaking on the matter, it is up to I, the only fucking cishet on tumblr, to drag this out to a wider audience.

Right, Considering The Current State Of Corporate Politics On This Site, And That It Seems That Only

REBLOG IF YOUR ACCOUNT IS A TRANSFEM SAFE SPACE.

We need to show these higher ups how much we truly value them.

1 year ago

Does mando know that Sabine  once wielded  the dark saber

i think we all know what he says when he finds out

Sabine: Funny story, a few years ago I actually had the Darksaber for a while--
Din, holding the Darksaber out: Do you want it back?

(commission info // kofi support!)


Tags
1 year ago

ai artist pushing the two minute button and then start on their microwave: 'i feel bad for the people who arent learning prompts right now theyre gonna get left behind by us tech-forward chefs'

  • mderngrl
    mderngrl liked this · 2 months ago
  • collaberal-damage
    collaberal-damage liked this · 3 months ago
  • graceandtheidiotsquad
    graceandtheidiotsquad reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • graceandtheidiotsquad
    graceandtheidiotsquad liked this · 3 months ago
  • st3vies
    st3vies reblogged this · 8 months ago
  • postguilt
    postguilt reblogged this · 8 months ago
  • gothbatman
    gothbatman reblogged this · 8 months ago
  • luthientinuvielss
    luthientinuvielss liked this · 9 months ago
  • mineshaftss
    mineshaftss liked this · 1 year ago
  • aching-for-strength
    aching-for-strength reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • starteller-7
    starteller-7 reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • starteller-7
    starteller-7 liked this · 1 year ago
  • autism-be-upon-ye
    autism-be-upon-ye reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • aching-for-strength-channel
    aching-for-strength-channel reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • nymphadorasblog
    nymphadorasblog liked this · 1 year ago
  • echoreedvent
    echoreedvent liked this · 1 year ago
  • pidgefudge
    pidgefudge reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • pidgefudge
    pidgefudge liked this · 1 year ago
  • sadtruth2
    sadtruth2 reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • ifweburn-youburn-withus
    ifweburn-youburn-withus reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • ifweburn-youburn-withus
    ifweburn-youburn-withus liked this · 1 year ago
  • animatedbooklover
    animatedbooklover liked this · 1 year ago
  • squanchmallow
    squanchmallow reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • squanchmallow
    squanchmallow liked this · 1 year ago
  • cholericcholera
    cholericcholera reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • cholericcholera
    cholericcholera liked this · 1 year ago
  • captainprocrastinator4life
    captainprocrastinator4life liked this · 1 year ago
  • sapphicfandompirate
    sapphicfandompirate liked this · 1 year ago
  • flyingprisonalindustrialcomplex
    flyingprisonalindustrialcomplex liked this · 2 years ago
  • chloegalarza
    chloegalarza liked this · 2 years ago
  • deen-deenie-old
    deen-deenie-old liked this · 2 years ago
  • savvsarahh
    savvsarahh liked this · 2 years ago
  • knottthisday
    knottthisday liked this · 2 years ago
  • thealiceofwonderland
    thealiceofwonderland reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • thealiceofwonderland
    thealiceofwonderland liked this · 2 years ago
  • xstargirlxo999
    xstargirlxo999 liked this · 2 years ago
  • spanishrose6
    spanishrose6 liked this · 2 years ago
  • cytheretheboat
    cytheretheboat reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • cytheretheboat
    cytheretheboat liked this · 2 years ago
  • clubpenguist
    clubpenguist liked this · 2 years ago
  • redvaleni
    redvaleni liked this · 2 years ago
  • growingupculmari
    growingupculmari liked this · 2 years ago

19, they/she, genderfae, bisexual

229 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags