Latest Posts by starryrain - Page 2
and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
YOU relate to matt murdock because you have religious trauma. I relate to matt murdock because i have always had an intense feeling of shame for existing, have always felt like there was something wrong with my fundamental being, continuously disappoint my friends and family but cant seem to stop, have an extreme violent anger within me that i hate, and feel like i always need to be better. we are not the same
I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery; I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was alive for a little while.
Mary Oliver, "Dogfish" in New and Selected Poems
Jewelry by Moon and Serpent
La Fenêtre de Mélusine by Rene Magritte, 1953
The Moon Falls a Thousand Times by Naeemeh Naeemaei
and if i had to, i would wrench your heart out with my bare hands and hold it with a grace and gentleness that lies unbeknownst to me, to prove that i can still be gentle, whether it be through my violence or not.
i am so hungry right now that i could stab a roman emperor and eat a salad made out of his remains
andrew was so real for that
when it’s that time of day
are u okay you’ve been listening to chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers for two hours straight
you think i’m weak? babygirl i can listen to julien baker’s entire discography without even shedding a tear.
okay but can we talk about run by hozier? it’s so beautiful, so ethereal, so HOZIER
i do enjoy "living weapon" characters but specifically living weapons who did in fact do absolutely horrific things which at least a part of them enjoyed and thought was good and right at the time, and that no amount of not knowing any better or guilt they feel in hindsight will ever make up for. i love living weapons who are "irredeemable", and no it's not their fault that they were made that way or pointed in the directions they were by the hand that wielded them, and yes they are victims, but so were their victims. living weapons who some people will never be able to forgive, but who still wake up every day and try to do better than what's expected of them. a sword that uses its blade to cut wheat to make bread for the people who once lived in fear of its arc falling on their heads.
do you think humans heard crowley calling aziraphale ‘angel’ over many years and was like oh! what a sweet nickname!
and that crowley’s use of the term slowly went from being a derogatory term to a term of endearment!
while i'm thinking about intimacy and violence and the ways they intersect there's something so compelling to me about allowing someone to hurt you. seeing someone consumed by their rage and pain so completely that it's burning them up from the inside out and saying you need to set this loose before it destroys you. you need to let it out. so give it to me. i can take it. take it out on me. i'm giving you permission. i want you to hit me as hard as you can, for as long as you need to. the way it blurs the lines between who is the victim and who is the perpetrator. who is in control and who is bowing to whose power and authority. who is truly dependent on whom.
seeing percy struggle in the live action with constant thoughts of that there’s something wrong with him, that he’s broken, because things never go his way JUST HIT SO HARD. esp as that’s how my life has been continuously and i think that is such a big deal for me. and it may be the percy adhd thing but. it just kicked me in the guts.
I hope everyone grows tired of being cruel to each other soon