Things That Dazai Is Officially Not Allowed To Do At Meetings, A By No Means Comprehensive List Assembled

Things that Dazai is Officially Not Allowed to Do at Meetings, a By No Means Comprehensive List Assembled Over the Course of Several Months - by Kunikida

1. Refer to the collective members of the Armed Detective Agency as “Fukuzawa and the Fukuzawettes”.

2. Attempt to chime in to discussions by quoting the battle speech from Braveheart.

3. …Or any other, completely unrelated scenes from Braveheart.

4. Underscore anyone’s speeches by shouting “Amen!”, “Can I get a witness?”, or “Cowabunga!”

5. Underscore anyone’s speeches by waving one of those giant foam fingers from sporting events.

6. Underscore anyone’s speeches by playing dramatic music in the background.

7. Okay, who the hell gave Dazai a kazoo?

8. Giggle every time someone uses the word “duty.” Seriously, are you five?

9. Make a series of straight-faced, somber-sounding comments designed to include the word “duty” as many times as possible.

9a. [Amended, after the giggling proves contagious.] Okay, now nobody is allowed to say “duty”, are you happy?

9b. I wasn’t laughing, I was coughing, and anyway, that’s not- look, can we move on?

10. Anything involving sock puppets, for any reason.

11. For the purposes of 10, “sock puppets” also includes puppets not made of socks.

12. Okay, who the hell gave Dazai his kazoo back?