In My Defense Your Honor I Had Really Good Music On And It Made Me Want To Do Something Evil

Brent Spiner being made up as Data ❤️

Cant stop thinking about how odo having marathon sex for 3 days was enough for quarks 5’4 self to snap and attempt to body slam a 500 pound jem hadar soldier

I like that quark and odo had their own pon farr on the hot sands of vulcan moment only it was freezing cold and also they were both yelling "I hate you" and "fascist" and also starving to death and also no one was in heat and also it wasn't pleasurable at all. So not really anything like that actually.

Watching Picard s3 so spoilers underneath but man I had to pause this and shout to my empty house

THAT WAS NOT FUCKING STARFLEET THAT WAS JULIAN FUCKING BASHIR AND YOU ARE COWARDS FOR NOT MENTIONING HIM

After all he went through to make that fucking cure don't you dare give Starfleet get the credit for Julian and Odo's empathy

still playing around with some sort of lower-light-level coloring. ehhh. anyway enjoy your *neeeyoooooowww* star trek erotica

Garashir but it doesn't work because Julian's in love/lust with the idea that Garak will treat him like an enemy spy and Garak's in love/lust with the idea that Julian will treat him as gently as a patient and neither of them actually want to bring their jobs into bed/a relationship.

Because I love these two but I also enjoy the idea that they could be in love with the other's public persona, but actually that which attracts the other to them is what they want to relinquish in private.

Another reason I like to write Garak as gentle is I don't think he or Bashir has had a lot of gentleness in their lives.

Part of it is just me projecting my sensory issues onto Bashir, but because of the heavy autism coding you get the feel that Bashir has spent a lot of his life in performance. He doesn't get to have boundaries with his parents. His parents probably wouldn't let him avoid things that trigger sensory issues or physical touch, so he learns that the world is something harsh that he doesn't get to flinch away from and neither do others.

So he spends a lot of his adult life bashing into others boundaries because that's what he's been taught is normal. And they react angrily, rightfully so, but the result is that the only contact Bashir has with people for a long time is them mistreating him and disliking him because of the abuse he's been taught is love. Combine that with all the toxic masculinity you get coming off him, it paints a picture of a man who isn't treated gently. He knuckles down and when human contact is finally given, he takes what's offered desperately.

There are no soft touches for a starving man, no gentle caresses or kind words - just the desperation of a person who wants to feel grounded and human. So I like to give him what he seems to have been denied.

hmmmm want to write something about the way Julian's really tactile but also incredibly uncomfortable around touch. because I'm certain the Bashirs would have hated it if Jules was touch-averse and refused their hugs and so that would be another thing to fix on Adigeon. but while Adigeon changed lots of things it didn't make him less uncomfortable, just better at masking...

but then like with friends? with people who he likes and who have sent his trust? he discovers touch can actually be a comforting and good sensation so long as he feels like he can back away from it at any time and the other person will actually let him?

idk there's something incredibly manipulative and possessive about the way that Amsha is constantly reaching out for him and holding him in DBIP and in the aftermath of all that? I just see a Julian who is desperate for comfort from his friends but whose skin recoils at the thought of being touched for a good while after his parents have left the station and maybe he can't even quite put his finger on why. and he's just completely torn between wanting a hug but being entirely unable to accept one.

shoutout to @daftmooncretin for the inspo