Hmmmm Want To Write Something About The Way Julian's Really Tactile But Also Incredibly Uncomfortable

odo thinking he's finally gonna catch quark this time

original post

i think if you asked harry kim if he was attracted to men he’d be like “maybe but i’ve got too much other shit going on to worry about that right now”. if you asked tom paris if he was attracted to men he’d clench his jaw and stare off into the distance for a long moment before being like “… no”

u guys were so nice about my last Bashir + Obrien post, heres more! lads day out tennis & a pint wheeeey

Description: Four panel comic

First Panel: Julian Bashir and Miles O'Brien kissing in Mile's quarters on a bed, shrouded in darkness. Julian is on top cradling Mile's head while Miles strokes his hands down Julian's back, which show's that his jumpsuit is zipped down

Second Panel: Julian pulls away from the kiss with a sigh and sits up. Mile follows and asks Julian, who has an anxious expression on his face, " Julian? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

Third Panel: Julian has now shifted towards in the end of the bed, where you can now see the rest of the room is accommodated with a small side table, a round lamp sitting on top, and a large chair besides the bedside, all hidden in the dark besides their outlines. Julian is leaning on his hands with his worried face dipped low, Miles behind him sitting up on his knees, a reassuring hand on Julian's shoulder and a mild expression on his face. Julian says " This doesn't seem right, Miles. What about Keiko?"

Fourth Panel: The room is suddenly bathed in yellow light as the lamp is clicked on to reveal Keiko, who has been sitting on the large bedside chair. She tells a screaming and exaggeratedly shocked Julian, "It's alright, Julian". Julian is holding tightly onto Mile's, his legs and arms draped over his body and his mouth thrown open in a scream, his eyes popping out of his skull. Mile's, casually holding Julian's back, says "Hi, Keiko!"

new worst in star trek merch history has occurred

I like that quark and odo had their own pon farr on the hot sands of vulcan moment only it was freezing cold and also they were both yelling "I hate you" and "fascist" and also starving to death and also no one was in heat and also it wasn't pleasurable at all. So not really anything like that actually.

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 1 POLL 108

PROPAGANDA:

[Elim]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[Rodimus]

"Look, he is absolutely going to fuck a wide variety of aliens mechanical and not with protection, and it is going to come back to haunt him in the form of mechpreg."

LMAOOOOO IM LISTING TO THE GARAK BOOK RIGHT NOW AND IT'S JUST HIM TRAMA DUMPING TO BASHIR FOR 20 HOURS STRAIGHT... I can't stop picturing Bashir listening to all of Garaks messages like:

You’ve NEVER considered this VACATION HOTSPOT!

With the news of a supernova threatening the Romulan homeworld, the Romulan Star Empire has started to open up its borders in a way that was previously unthinkable. With the planet’s days numbered, this is a vacation opportunity you don’t want to miss! However, let’s not pretend that a trip behind the neutral zone is now a holiday on Risa. The economy is collapsing in the face of armageddon and Romulans do not let their guard down easily. So we checked out the planet to see what you can expect from a holiday to this grey world.

Where to Stay

We were met planetside by our guides, Caidee and Kyuvok, who followed us everywhere during our stay. We stayed in the only hotel open to non-Romulans, situated in the capital inside a walled compound under heavy guard. Starfleet had told us to expect that our rooms would be bugged but hanging from the ceiling were very obvious surveillance devices that followed us around as we moved. We took this in our stride and began greeting them each morning.

Inside the hotel, we enjoyed a single Romulan restaurant. It was vast, but mostly empty aside from a handful of Starfleet personnel working on evacuation preparations. The restaurant’s single fixed menu (starring a grey-looking soup) got a little repetitive after a week but any visits to restaurants in the city proper were deemed unnecessary. Our guides explained that this restaurant was clearly the best that Romulan cuisine had to offer and mingling with the locals would be distracting to us. They also said that their food demonstrates Romulan ingenuity and self-reliance; they proudly don’t import a single grain and certainly don’t dabble in non-Romulan cuisines.

Tomb to the Glorious Dead

Caidee and Kyuvok ensured we had a full itinerary for our trip, starting with paying homage to the military dead; many of whom we were told died gloriously in battles with the Federation, Klingon Empire and various barbarian worlds. Kyuvok provided us with a bouquet of flowers to leave at the base.

The monument itself is a group of Romulan centurions in 23rd century uniforms carrying an imperial banner. The figures are besieged by rather barbarous and demonic-looking figures I was told represented Federation corruption. It was a little hard to make out the details as the monument is around half a kilometre high and we were viewing it from the base but I’m told the detail on the faces is the most intricate in the galaxy and carved entirely by Reman “volunteers” (note: the guides do not understand the use of air quotes for sarcasm so feel free to use them liberally in conversation).

Imperial Theatre

After that, we saw a play at the Imperial Theatre about how the Romulan Senate bravely defeated the rebel Shinzon and his Federation allies. I queried Caidee on the accuracy of these events but she assured us that Romulans would have a far better understanding of these events considering how oppressed Federation subjects are only fed propaganda by Vulcans. 

It was interesting to note that many of the people in the audience looked very similar to each other and moved to clap in perfect synchronicity. Kyuvok dismissed the idea that the seats were padded out with holograms and it merely demonstrated how Romulans were in perfect sync as a single, perfect society.

Caidee offered a recording of the play to take home. I suggested we could trade holonovels; her eyes lit up at our description of Captain Proton. Alas, after a glare from Kyuvok she explained that Romulans have no need for corrupt Federation stories. It’s at this point we realised why we had two guides for such a small group. 

The Firefalls

On the third day, we asked Caidee to take us to see the firefalls at Gal Gath'thong. After a loud “debate” with the Tal Shiar officers stationed outside our rooms, Caidee announced gleefully that they’d love to show us. The shuttle had its windows blacked out and seemed to make so many course corrections we could have sworn we’d circled the entire planet before arriving at our destination. 

The falls indeed were magnificent, even if we had to view them through a chainlink fence in a small supply compound a kilometre away. We wish we could show you, but all our holo-imagers were confiscated on arrival along with all our communicators. We did however catch a glimpse of someone outside the fence being chased by uniformed officers. 

We were told by Caidee, as she hurried us back into the shuttle, that it was a Vulcan spy. Vulcan spies appear to be everywhere in Romulan society and are responsible for everything that goes wrong; Caidee says it’s common knowledge that the supernova is a Vulcan plot against the Romulan people because of their deep-seated jealousy ever since Romulans left Vulcan. 

The Tal Shiar Museum

The following day it looked like Caidee had been replaced by a different Romulan, but Kyuvok assured us Caidee was still Caidee and had just changed her hair to one of the alternate state-sanctioned looks. There are 5 haircuts allowed on Romulus and anyone deviating from them is usually suspected of being a Vulcan spy.

That proved to be a suitable segway as Kyuvok and new-hair Caidee decided we should see The Tal Shiar Museum. This exhibition outlined the work the Tal Shiar does to ensure the safety of every Romulan against galactic threats. Displays condemned traitors and spies who the Tal Shiar have executed to keep the people safe, including M’ret, Toreth, Jean-Luc Picard and Spock. We asked Kyuvok about how Picard could have been killed when he made a speech to the Romulan Senate recently. This, apparently, is a Federation lie because Picard was killed by the Tal Shiar in 2365, 2369 and 2379.

Conclusion

Romulus is still fairly closed and sadly we couldn’t talk our guides into a trip to the palatial Senate building or anywhere else exciting. But when they returned our equipment to us as we left we found they had filled our holo-imagers with picturesque landscapes and historic buildings we didn’t even know existed. So they were at least gracious enough to give us a slideshow to share! 

We did of course hand all our gear to a Starfleet liaison to remove the tracking software that had been installed.

It may not be Casperia Prime, but it looks like Romulus is only around for a few more years so best book your trip today! After all, the rate at which they put Federation visitors on trial for espionage has dropped 13% in the last year so you're safer than ever.

Do you guys think Barbie exists in the Star Trek universe? Because it would be really funny if they started making like diversity barbies when we discovered aliens were real. Like whenever someone joins the federation, they make barbies of them.

This is Vulcan Barbie, this is Tellarite Barbie, and this is Andorian Barbie, together with Star Fleet Barbie, they make up the Federation Barbies® collection. And then people were like but we want more representation, so they started making a "Federation and friends" collection, and there's Ferengi Barbie, Orion Barbie, Bajorian Barbie etc etc