It's Still Me: Xeno/Teddy

I imagine when Julian gets bored he'll go track down Miles in the Jefferies tubes and bother him. this has absolutely led to several incidents where Miles is up to his elbows in circuitry and Julian suddenly pops in upside down from an access above him like "hi Miles :)" and Miles jumps so hard he hits his head on the tube's ceiling

Love that Bashir gives "head empty" vibes on account of "too many thoughts"

2x18 - Profit and Loss

A recent commission of Worf’s son, Alexander Rozhenko, in a custom Starfleet uniform that reflects his Cossack heritage ✨

As someone with Tatar Cossack roots myself, this was such a blast to work on! I love when commissions let me get creative with all the details :)

Commissions are now open indefinitely, btw, so feel free to reach out if you’ve got an idea you’d like to bring to life!

This version is downscaled and watermarked at the client’s request. Please don’t copy to other sites.

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

When writing Garak, the author must fill themselves with depraved, lustful pining for Julian Bashir.

If one is asexual, or otherwise lacking in such affections towards the dear doctor, picturing a gorgeous behemoth of a sandwich piled high with fresh toppings, thick bread toasted just so, leaking dressing onto its plate and cut in twain, but remaining one dollar short of buying it, is a suitable substitution.

When Quark and Grilka went to the infirmary, Grilka was perfectly fine while Quark had a compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches, and when Worf and Jadzia showed up they were both fucked up bad (with Worf maybe a little worse off). When Worf describes Klingon mating rituals in TNG, he describes it like "the woman throws things. The man reads poetry", but clearly when he and Jadzia have sex they're both playing the violent role, but they're doing it in a Klingon way.

What I'm saying is they're having lesbian sex. I've said this before, but they're having lesbian Klingon sex. Jadzia's a little better at Klingon lesbian sex than Worf is, but Worf is still trying.

@ the people who think all nbs are teenagers

Cardassia’s Gay Venues - Ranked

Cardassia’s strict gender roles and focus on family have meant for much of the past few hundred years the queer community there, while tolerated, has lived in the shadows. Post-war, it’s all change on Cardassia and we’re proud to report on some of the hottest queer venues (or "tailor shops" in the local slang) on the planet!

#1 The Blue Spoon

Officially a 300-year-old private members club for women excelling in science and engineering (Cardassia’s traditionally female-dominated careers), this club has been a haven for Cardassia’s sapphics away from prying eyes. Those in the know of course might recognise the name; “blue spooning” being a slang term on Cardassia for a lesbian relationship. But they’ve maintained an air of deniability and exclusive privacy.

Reluctantly opening their doors to a new generation, we joined one of their latest parties with these finely dressed women, often with very masculine cuts, dancing to an all-female orchestra. From our conversations with patrons, it seems those women who do serve in the military are in exceptional demand now they’re allowed in, particularly among the younger patrons. One older Gul was seen carrying two young women around on her shoulders before vanishing towards the powder room.

#2 The Hot Rock

With their preference for the heat and dark, relative to many humanoids, it’s no surprise how popular saunas are on Cardassia. That holds true for gay Cardassians too. The Hot Rock is the biggest gay sauna in the capital and a meeting place for much of its community. Over 4 floors deep under Lakarian Way there is no end of dark corners to arrange a semi-private rendezvous in temperatures passing 90 degrees Celsius in places. 

The upper floors are dotted with dancers, bars and various entertainment. Not being able to handle the heat downstairs, we talked to a few of the patrons. One ex-tailor we spoke to told us of how prior to the war it was very much a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation on Cardassia. The primacy of the family always had the understanding of affairs on the side, but on the understanding they were kept discreet.

These days, it seems, the old ways are out along with the old leadership. We asked the patron if there were any prominent gay Cardassians in this new society. He replied, “my dear, they’re all gay.” When asked if that included the government, he added “Especially the government.” The patron himself says that he is just visiting for the sauna and was not gay at all, but his friend Elim used to date a human doctor for a few years who was “ravishing.” He grinned as he went back to watching the dancers. Let’s hope this ‘Elim’ finds new love on this new Cardassia.

#3 Dom In Me Cabaret

What was previously an underground satirist group of drag performers during the war is now an ongoing headline show with a full musical comedy based around the Dominion leadership. The king playing the Vorta 'Why-Ooo' steals the show with his sycophantic solos dedicated to his unrequited love for the abusive Changeling.

We lost count of the number of times different characters killed Why-Oooo but the audience cheered mercilessly without fail. The group is currently working on a new act around Tain and the Obsidian Order, something unthinkable a few years ago!

#4 The Ending Sacrifice Bookshop

For a quieter atmosphere, turn to The Ending Sacrifice which now openly sells literature deemed inflammatory to the Cardassian sense of “Family Is All.” Stories of powerful people forsaking arranged marriages to elope with their true love stock the shelves in defiance of the prevailing ideology. The owner, Manek, explains how they how to challenge the monoculture on Cardassia imposed by Central Command over the past 100 years.

“Historically,” they say, “the early Hebitian civilizations were far more liberal and pluralistic. We valued our differences and our culture above military conquest. We want to return to that openness. So much of our society has been suppressed. Did you know that, like most reptilian-like humanoids, Cardassians have the capacity to change sex in certain circumstances? Under the Central Command, this is an unspoken medical disorder to be fixed rather than a natural function of our biology.”

The bookshop hosts literary and academic talks on a number of topics which are free to attend. Drop in and speak to Manek for more.

#5 Obsidian Eyes

Tucked away on the outskirts of Lakat is a BDSM club that only recently opened. For some, the end of the Obsidian order and their eternal monitoring of the whole of Cardassian society (especially it’s queer members) must be something to be missed. Because here, patrons can meet in cold metal interrogation rooms and be watched through “secret” one-way mirrors by “agents of the Obsidian Order”. At a certain point during their liaison, the agents will barge into the room and place the lovers on trial. 

We asked staff if the “agents” were real, or more accurately former, members of the Obsidian Order or just actors. Each person we asked gave an entirely conflicting account of the whole operation and one just quoted lines from Enigma Tales at us. So we’re not sure what to say at this point other than this is an exhibition and humiliation kink we didn’t think we’d see on our trip.