People Who Don’t Like Aaron Kevin Nicky For “not Understanding Andrew The Way Neil Does” PISS ME

i think an andreil "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" au would be incredible...PLS PLS PLS

I want "Neil died in Baltimore" Andrew and "The Moriyamas killed Andrew as a warning" Neil to meet

Something that stood out to me in my aftg reread was how unhinged the upperclassmen actually are.

Matt fucking Boyd and his willingness to absolutely go at anyone, anywhere, any time. There's a scene where Kevin tells him to foul another player on the opposing team and Neil specifically points out the unrepentant grin he has on his face as he waltzes off court after it happens. He also is described as the best player on the foxes line up multiple times by Neil and his play style is aggressive, he uses his height and build to his advantage and he doesn't hold back.

Allison and Andrew have the exact same style of serving cunt, in that if you don't interest them they will not even acknowledge your existence. A player from another team attempted to score on the goal and both Allison and Andrew stood still and watched them miss with such bitchy indifference it probably gave that player ptsd. They also both have a habit of cutting through bullshit and demanding truth ESPECIALLY regarding topics other people would shy away from. Badass blonde bombshells.

Dan Wilds is just as rabid about Exy as Kevin and her every first thought goes to the game first just like Kevin. She's just better at making her second thought go to something else. She literally knew the second Seth was out of the picture that there was an opportunity there and she didn't even really hesitate to talk to Matt about it. She looked at Neil and whatever fucked up little thing he had going on with Andrew (as it would have looked to an outsider, let's remember that they all knew Andrew took him to Columbia and drugged him) and was like, how can we use this to make the team stronger. Like Nicky used Neil to manipulate Andrew but Dan did it better and with much more calculation.

Renee I don't even really need to talk about because Neil was always wary of her but there is one scene where Neil let's slip about his father's penchant for knives and Renee's reaction and understanding gave me chills. Renee uses that part of her to protect and that's really great because she would be terrifying otherwise.

I know I've made this post before but it absolutely fucking kills me that Andrew's entire outlook on life was "I just have to hold on until I drag Aaron across the finish line," only for Kevin to swoop in and, between fits of hysterical sobbing, somehow still find the time to insist that Andrew has a great life ahead of him, and the breath to belligerently dismiss anybody who argues, especially Andrew.

No wonder they're so antagonistic. No wonder they're best friends. Suddenly Andrew is the one getting dragged to the finish line. If Kevin is wrong, then he's covered in mud for nothing. If he's right, then the finish line is much, much further away than just graduation.

we cannot be using the word twink as a descriptor willy nilly...kevin day is most certainly NOT a twink, he's tall as hell and an athlete who's been training every day and night for his entire life probably eating the most meal prepped bland chicken and rice and then hitting the gym......

About the car scene in Deadpool and Wolverine (spoilers)

Can we all agree, that during their massive fight in the car--

--that these two has at least stopped fighting once to have wild, angry sex with each other.

The way to screen moves down to the car plate, the way they're making sounds that can be interpreted as either fucking or fighting as the car is shaking, the way the time transitions from day to night, then BACK to day--

The way earlier in the film, a bartender comments that he can't tell if the two of them are going to fuck or fight==

The way that by the end of the scene Wolverine had somehow managed to tire out Deadpool enough and have him willingly strapped down with the seatbelts.

That they were sleeping so soundly-- passed out from sheer exhaustion that X-23 is able to get in the car, drive them back to her base-- and neither of these superhumans were awakened by it.

Pure. Poetic. Cinema.

Anyway yeah, don't take this post seriously. But it is a scene that can be left up for interpretation, and I choose to interpret that Logan absolutely fucked the lights out of Deadpool, who volunteered to bottom.

about to cry bc this lyric reminds me so much of the twins:

"Little Andy soft in your newborn skin,

Only one little Andy will you return again?

I believe we can renew,

and you could be my brother again"

like don't think about aaron thinking this about andrew ://// aaron and andrew love each other so much ik it in my heart of hearts

in my head andrew and neil don't do like. classic date nights out and couply shit like that no their couples' shit is much weirder. like one time they spent 3 days doing a bit where they talked to each other exclusively doing bad brooklyn accents and impressions of movie mob guys. they will periodically send each other pictures of rocks and the other will name the rock. they go on walks together and rate birds on arbitrary scales. like just *neil points at pigeon* "six out of eight. couldn't carry a coconut across the atlantic if it had to." neil gets injured and is off court for three weeks so andrew puts up a basketball hoop on the back of their bedroom door so he feels like he's practicing his aim. their basketball game has been going for 4 years now and there is a very long points tally going on a whiteboard in the kitchen. will both start drumming out a beat on one of the cats and coordinate perfectly whilst saying nothing. they're strange. the old lady who lives across the hall absolutely adores them both.

I've put some thought into this and I've come up with a theory. My theory is as follows: there are two main reasons people think the aftg novels are filled with bad writing.

1. They are self-published. This point is really two points. Because they are self-published they have a lot of typos and editing errors. Also, because they are self-published they are associated with not being good enough to be traditionally published. The belief that self-published books failed at being traditionally published is false. Nora has stated that she received interest from agents and publishers. They wanted her to change too much of the books, including replacing exy with an existing sport. She said that it would have felt like betraying her characters, especially her female characters, as exy is a coed sport. As for the errors, this is not an example of bad writing. It is an example of amateur proofreading, which is different.

2. The books do not have lyrical prose, which is actually an example of good writing. What?! How can this be? I'm about to tell you. The novels are completely from Neil's POV. They stay in Neil's POV. The reason the prose isn't lyrical is because Neil doesn't think lyrically. He is blunt. Straightforward, even though he's a liar. Think of the scene where he rejects Marissa or when he tells Seth why people don't like him. The writing style reflects this. In fact, many writers struggle with staying inside someone's head, with keeping to their POV. The way that Nora keeps Neil's perspective, and Neil's perspective only, is pretty impressive. His language actually changes a little as the books progress, which is seen around Andrew and his golden eyes. He starts to feel feelings around Andrew and his perspective changes to reflect this. Again, an example of good writing.

In conclusion, aftg are actually really good books. Source: me

neil's learned obliviousness

gearing myself up to write another essay about neil josten. the grind never stops. had to figure out why people making neil super clueless and oblivious always rubbed me the wrong way even tho it's technically canon so here it is.

ok so i have a lot of thoughts about neil and obliviousness but i'm gonna mostly condense them into this single thesis statement: neil only pays attention to and notices things he deems important.

we've been knew atp that neil has insane tunnel vision, and that often comes across in his narration. because of this, it's easy to assume that neil is just genuinely very clueless and oblivious when it comes to social interaction and also romantic relationships, flirting, etc.

i know nora herself said that neil wouldn't realise if someone is flirting with him because he's dense as a brick and while i appreciate the comedic value of socially oblivious neil i generally take this characterisation with a grain of salt because it very quickly leans into territory of neil being just generally dumb and inept, which i lowk can't stand because it sanitises and declaws neil a lot and makes him boring and stereotypical.

so i raise you this: neil's obliviousness (if you want to call it that) throughout aftg and in his narration is deliberate. mostly, i think it's all intentional. he literally intentionally refuses to notice or give attention to certain things. and because of his relentless focus on only a couple of things (exy and his survival), things like socialising and relationships get put on the backburner unless they relate to the two aforementioned things.

let's dissect it using examples.

nicky's flirting. neil's narration is pretty clear-cut when it comes to this. he doesn't demonstrate much confusion towards nicky's behaviour except that he doesn't really know why nicky's more interested in him than exy. crucially, he isn't confused about why nicky demonstrates an interest in him (which is because he thinks neil is hot), he's just confused about why nicky is investing energy into flirting with him when, in his mind, there are better things to be doing. it seems, at least in his narration, that he knows nicky is flirting, he just doesn't know why and also doesn't really care to focus on it. aside from an initial discomfort/expression of disinterest, neil doesn't linger on nicky's comments and flirtations for the rest of the series. he narrates it when it's relevant but doesn't make any additional internal comments towards it because it doesn't pertain to his two priorities: exy and survival.

marissa's flirting. i feel like there's two ways to interpret neil's response to marissa's advance "i can give you my number". neil says "what for?" and you can either take this as genuine confusion or just neil kinda being a dick. i lowk never considered the first option and just jumped straight to "neil doesn't really care about hurting this girl's feelings" lmfao. i think i'm right tho, because he elaborates and makes it clear he isn't interested in pursuing relationships outside of the foxes (see: priority no. 1, exy) and when nicky and dan comment on it, making it explicitly clear that marissa was asking neil out, neil doesn't express any confusion over what she was trying to do. people who write neil being genuinely exaggeratedly clueless when being flirted with need to remember that neil wasn't unaware of marissa's intentions during this scene, he was just so aggressively disinterested that he failed to remark on most of it. he never expresses any actual confusion or obliviousness about her flirting.

andrew. ok look. this is gonna require some explaining. first of all let's talk about andrew's attraction to neil on a purely physical level. their nothingship era, if you will. neil's dizzying whiplash during the "that doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene is honestly pretty understandable. like really, who wasn't surprised during that scene? the hints in the previous books about andrew's attraction towards neil were so subtle that most of us readers had to reread a couple times to actually catch the progression and build-up. and also, andrew was high and manic for most of the first two books, so it's understandable that neil probably chalked up a lot of andrew's yapping and odd behaviours to the drugs, rather than a genuine expression of andrew's feelings. that's not to say he discounted the things andrew told him, but since he's always taken andrew at face value, he also didn't doubt andrew's "i hate you" and supposed dislike of him. i think it's actually very very understandable that neil didn't pick up on andrew's attraction to him because 1. why would you ever assume that about anyone anyway 2. neil is pretty preoccupied with being hunted down by his serial killer father and the japanese mafia 3. andrew was NOT making it easy on neil at all. this is partially because andrew himself wasn't ready to face the reality of his feelings for neil and also just his general confusing way of going about things. it makes a lot of sense that even neil, who's generally good at reading andrew and picking up on his hints, would miss whatever hints andrew was dropping about this, if any. and finally, 4. andrew wanting to fuck neil doesn't have anything to do with exy or survival, so neil instinctively filters it out and doesn't think about it a lot. next, i guess we have to talk about andrew's actual feelings for neil. again, we like to make fun of neil for never picking up on the fact that andrew is in LOVE with him during their situationship phase. but again, i think it makes a lot of sense? yes, andrew wasn't exactly subtle about it by a certain point (see: baltimore reunion) but also, neil has literally been pavloved to reject romantic relationships. one of the ways he "justifies" his nothingship with andrew is by assuring himself that andrew is only physically attracted to him. and the other justification is that he sees andrew as intertwined with the idea of his survival, because of the deal they have. keeping andrew close and being in a relationship with him is directly related to his own safety and survival. because neil's lowk manipulated his own thinking to associate andrew implicitly with survival, suddenly their relationship is a lot more prioritised in neil's mind and narration, because it pertains to priority no. 2, survival. i truly, truly believe neil's refusal or inability to see andrew's actual feelings for him is deliberate. he doesn't want to notice that andrew actually is in love with him because that is area he isn't familiar with and he doesn't want to hurt andrew when he dies. but because he obviously does want to continue this little "nothing" with andrew, and because he associates andrew with survival, he's unwilling to let go of him. so he just refuses to notice and remains deliberately oblivious to andrew's feelings for him. it's all very psychological.

final argument: people like to make fun of neil for not realising his own feelings for andrew but listen. he does realise. he never says that he doesn't feel anything for andrew. he never denies being in love with or attracted to andrew, not even in his own head. he registers, literally in trk, after his conversation with nicky, that he sees andrew differently and could be developing feelings for him, but he literally forcibly pushes the thoughts away because they would distract him from priority no. 1 (exy) and priority no. 2 (survival). he also notices in the back half of tkm that their nothingship has taken on new weight and means more than just "nothing" but he avoids acknowledging it with andrew even when he's aware of it in his own mind. so yeah. neil isn't in a state of denial. like at all.

also, neil does notice things when they pertain to his priorities. like, he picked up on jeanee the same way kevin did. he noticed literally in trk the way jean reacted differently to renee, but he only chose to acknowledge and mention it out loud when he could use it to his advantage. and it did work out in everyone's favour, because he brought it up with kevin, kevin gave renee jean's number, and that's how jean was able to escape the nest and survive the year. so, lbr, neil isn't as clueless and out-of-it as the fandom likes to make him. he can be very perceptive and socially aware when it pertains to his narrow-minded priorities.

ok at the end of the day, i can acknowledge: it is not that deep. if ppl want to make neil super oblivious and clueless and socially inept, it's not rlly a big deal. i just personally hate when they dumb neil down when he is honestly such a smart and perceptive character and his intelligence is actually such a huge part of the series. so anyway. i hope u enjoyed this essay, it's been a while so it's a little rough.