I'm So Extremely Serious When I Say Doctors Should Be Put Through An Extremely Extensive Reliscensing

If a cane helps you even just a tinyyyyy bit, you should still use the cane!

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!

Because I have no motivation to write the next chapter right now but am hella stressed, I present....

Jem Tucker Character file.

Full name: Jem Pidge Tucker

Nicknames: Bud, Petal, Coco Rose

Birthday: January 28th

Birthplace: Monroe, Louisiana

Family: only child of two supportive parents. Parents run a very successful shop Jem’s home town and they visits them often.

Likes: wine, cats, Emily, roses, dark chocolate, chicken and waffles, clean floors.

Dislikes: screaming children, pedos, dogs.

Occupation: bar owner and drag queen. Entertainer.

Sexuality: panromantic asexual.

Gender: non-binary

-

If you have any questions about them, feel free to ask!

Demons and Drag pt 5

Anitri was just sitting on the couch, minding his own business, when Jem slammed open the door with an irritated look on their face.

"Hello...?" He asked, hoping that they were not about rant about a frustrations.

Jem looked over at him, made a face like a lightbulb light up in their head and started towards him.

"Welp, I'm dead," was Anitri's only thought as Jem approached.

"You're going to babysit tonight." They said in a definite voice.

"We're gonna what?" Surri asked as she walked in the living room.

Jem glanced up at her, before walked towards the kitchen.

"Y'all are gonna babysit this evening because Nikki's nanny is sick and she can't miss tonight," they said as they disappeared around the corner.

Surri stopped short and her face contorted to a confused scowl.

"Hey! I don't babysit!!! What do you take me for?"

Anitri just shook his head. He was completely fine with babysitting, as he loves kids and used to babysit for Dallas all the time. Their step siblings were so precious.

"Come back here!" Surri protested, following Jem into the kitchen.

Anitri pushed the hair out of his eyes, noticing the black tips were shimmering with wisps of color.

He froze.

"Hey Surri?" he called, through the doorway.

"What?" She yelled back to him, peeking through the frame. Her eyes widened.

"It's in the second drawer on the left."

He nodded and disappeared down the hall.

Surri turned back into the kitchen, facing Jem with the most unimpressed look she could muster. Jem stares her down with a look that said, you puny, puny fox, you think you can intimidate me? Think again. But y'know without a smirk.

Surri groaned and rolled her eyes, "When will they be here?"

Jem let slip a smirk, "6:00, 4 kids"

Mind you, it was 4:30.

"How old are they?"

"17, 15 year old twins, and an 18 month."

"Teenagers? Can't they stay home by themselves?" Surri questioned.

"Well, Tim, the 17 year old, has autism which leads to his anxiety spiking when there aren't any adults around. He feels more comfortable when supervised so he knows he isn't doing anything wrong." Jem explained. "And one of the twins tends to have..." they paused, "episodes."

Surri nodded, understanding seeping in.

"Any allergies?"

Jem snorted.

"These kids'll eat anything you put in front of them, but Harper, the baby, loves macaroni and cheese."

Jem makes their way out of the kitchen, calling over their shoulder, "Also the babies half demon."

***

6:00 dead on, there was a knock on the door.

Jem answered the door. On the other side there were 5 people. The only one Surri remotely recognized was "Nikki" or as Surri knew her, Morher of F’s, who was holding the baby, Harper.

Harper had a purple tail. And an extra arm.

‘And I thought Madison’s kids were weird’ Surri thought to herself.

Following Nikki upon entire, there was a tall, like tall tall, like as almost as tall as Anitri, ginger with a freckle smacked face and bright green eyes lookin like some Harry Potter Weasley reject.

Next there were two boys that looked like they were probably twins, which woo hoo, one was lookin like a bottom trying a tad to hard to be a top, with an undercut and his short blonde hair swept into a ponytail. He had a leather Jacket with patches on each sleeve.

The other twin was more the nerdy type with glasses, a sweater vest and khakis. He had a book under his arm and his hair down. He looked like if Logan Sanders had a sense of humor and blonde hair.

And Harper was a baby. With poofy black hair and a cat onesie.

“This is Surri, she and Anitri will be in charge while your Mom and I are at work. Anitri is doing something and will be in here soon.” Jem explained to the charges of the evening.

Surri glared at the boys and stopped when she looked at the blonde bottom.

He was tugging on his sleeves and looking at the floor.

Surri put two and two together rather quickly.

“Hey,” she said, nodding at them.

“Hi!!! I’m Tim! I’m so excited to meet you, do you like Harry Potter! I love Harry Potter, especially the books, have you read the books, my favorite one was... oh what was it called...” he trailed off, wringing his hands on the strap of his satchel.

The blonde bottom put his hand on his arm and said, “Prisoner of Azkaban.”

Tim looked at him with a huge smile and nodded.

The blonde looked to Surri and introduced himself.

“I’m James,” he nodded to his look alike, “that dweeb is Adam.”

“Hey!” Adam reaches forward and tugged on James wolf tail.

“Hey!” James jokingly glared over his shoulder.

Surri rolled her eyes trying to suppress a smile. They remind her of her other siblings.

“Okay! We have to get going,” Nikki said, handing Harper to Adam.

“Boys.” Nikki said, all of them turning to look at her, “behave.”

She then turned and strutted out of the door, Jem winking at them before following her.

Surri observes the collection of characters in front of her.

Harper was chewing on the hood of her onesie, looking absolutely content.

Adam was bouncing her lightly on his hip, staring at her and humming.

James had turned to the side to face Tim. From this angle, Surri could see he had a trans flag on his sleeve and a rainbow flag on the back panel of his leather jacket.

Tim was looking down at James while continuing his rambling about the Harry Potter movies.

This’ll be a fun night, Surri tells herself as she walks over to join the Harry Potter discussion.

*******************

Lemme know if you want to see the boys and Harpers designs!

Day 2? Something that makes me happy?

Happy?

Well I’ve mentioned this before but the happiest place for me on earth is the camp I go to each summer. And though that camp is closing this summer, it will always be my 2nd home.

The memories will bring me joy, the hikes, the kayaking, the swimming, the games and the nights in front of the fire, and amazing never ending love and family.

That’s the thing that makes me happy.

Demons and Drag pt. 4

Jem is sitting on their couch peacefully sipping their tea and watching Anitri swoon over the guys on TV when Surri walks into the room, phone in hand and a bored look on her face.

“Anitri, quit your drooling, we’ve got a job.”

Anitri whined and slide off the couch onto the floor.

“Do we have to go now? They’re almost to the part where they get shirtless.”

Jem groaned and turned off the TV, making Anitri yell.

“What’re y’all doing this time?” Jem said putting the remote behind them so Anitri wouldn’t grab it.

Surri glanced up from her phone and leaned on the wall.

“We were told that this guy; Mickey, they call him, is testing lethal injections on randos on the street. Has been for about two years, but the cops turn a blind eye cause he’s a white pretty boy.”

Jem’s brow lowered as their look of mild interest shifted to utter disgust. Jem looked away for a few seconds before their face lit up with what appeared to be an idea.

“Can I come?”

Surri was taken aback.

Not by the question itself, but the fact that Jem asked. Jem doesn’t ask for anything.

“Uhhh, sure? I guess it’s fine, but you got to bring something to defend yourself.”

Surri just looked at Jem.

Waiting.

Waiting to see what they came up with.

And much to Surri’s surprise, Jem reached in between the couch cushions and pulled out a bat.

“Let’s go.” They said, and mad their way to the door.

“Where the Hell did that come from” Anitri called from the floor.

Surri shook of her surprise and walked over to her brother and pulled him of the ground by his jacket.

“Listen to the scary Enby.”

***

Jem, Anitri, and Surri were sitting at the bar of Meh discussing there plan.

“So when we find Mickey, Anitri will walk up to him and act like the twink he is. If our source is correct, Mickey will be to enthralled to notice us anything around him, so we can shoot the dart and it will inject the poison.” Surri explained. “Any question?”

Jem shook their head and glanced towards Anitri, who was touching up his hair in the bar mirror.

“Sis, what if the source is wrong?”

Surri pursed her lips as she thought for a moment.

“Well we’ll be there if anything goes wrong, if he doesn’t have a react to you ‘wiles’” Jem gags “then just distract him until I can get a clear shot” Surri told him.

He turns to face her.

“It’ll be fine, we got you.”

He glances at Jem and they nod.

“Lets do this.”

***

They’re strolling down the street, Anitri in a grey sweater and shorts, his hair swept to the side, his tail swaying, and his glasses slumped forward in his nose.

Surri was in her normal black dress, but with a dark, red jacket today. Her hair was pulled back into a small bun, showing the tattoo on her neck. A spider with an M on the thorax. In her jacket was her concealed dart gun.

Jem was wearing a green tank top and maroon pants under a long trench coat which concealed their bat. They had their hair tucked away in a moss green beanie.

“What does this guy look like again?” Jem asked, tucking a of green back into their hat.

“A Kyle.” Surri said.

Jem snorted a laugh while Anitri shuddered.

They turned a corner and they saw a guy wearing a tank and shorts, holding a kitten and a syringe. He looked as if he was about to use it on the kitten, which was meowing and squirming.

Surri watched as Jem shot forward and smacked the guy in the back of the head with their bat.

He dropped the cat and it scampered into a nearby bush.

“What the hell!!!” The guy said, turning towards the group, and Jem hit him again, this time in the face.

The guy, who Surri could now tell was Mickey hit the deck.

Jem just kept smacking the guy, muttering about how sick you have to be to try and harm an innocent kitten.

Anitri shook off his shock and rushed forward to pull her away from the now bloody and battered Mickey.

Jem huffed, handed the bat to Anitri and calmly walked over to the bush the kitten hid in.

While Jem looked through the bush, Surri walked up to the pile of blood and limbs that was Mickey, who was surprisingly enough still breathing.

Anitri looked at her, a question in his eyes.

She looked from Anitri, back to the battered form. With a roll of her eyes, she drew her gun and shot the dude in the forehead.

Anitri and Surri watched as the form shook and then stilled. Anitri was the first to walk over to Jem, who was now sitting on the ground next to the bush with a wiggly, ginger furball.

Anitri sat next to them and looked at the kitten. It had a scar above it’s right eye, which was green, the other eye being brown. It had a clump of thick fur in the middle of his head that looked like a Mohawk.

Jem held him up to show Anitri. Surri also turned to pay attention.

“This is Westley. He will be comin home with us.”

Surri gave a confused look.

‘Another cat?’ she thought to herself.

Surri crouched to get a better look at the kitten. He mewed at her in the tiniest little cat voice she’d ever heard and Surri decided that this cat was her new favorite roommate.

Idk if I've posted about this before, but the most important thing I've learned in 2022 (The Year Of Never Ending Doctors' Visits) is to leave every medical appointment with a clear-cut set of next steps. When you have a chronic health issue, it's not just as simple as telling the doctor what's wrong and letting them take it from there.

If you go in for an undiagnosed issue, your should leave with:

An investigative plan: Orders for labs, imaging, or specialist referrals to try and figure out what's causing the problem. If your doctor doesn't want to order tests, ask why. It could be an insurance issue (e.g. tests denied unless front line treatments have failed), or it could be a bias issue. If it's a bias issue, things get more complicated, but the first step towards adequate care is asking your doctor to note that you requested testing for the issue and they denied it on the basis of [whatever]. I have some tips for next steps in these situations, so feel free to shoot me a message.

A "what-if" follow up plan: Ask your doctor, "What if the labs/scans/etc. come back negative or inconclusive? What if this treatment plan is not effective after [preestablished length of time]? What's the next step?" and make sure the next steps are noted. This helps keep you on your doctors' radar until you have an effective care plan in place.

A symptom management plan: Really spell out the effect the symptoms are having on your daily life. Let the doctor know you're fully invested in long term recovery, but that you need something to help you live your life as "normally" as possible until the long term treatment plan can be established and take effect. This could be medication, assistive devices, FMLA or other documentation for work/school, etc.

If you go in for a diagnosed issue, swap out the investigative plan for a long-term treatment plan. The goal should be to reduce your symptoms or prevent progression, if possible. For some conditions, this looks pretty similar to symptom management.

This has been working pretty well for me lately. At the end of my appointments, I verbally summarize my understanding, like "Okay, so we're trying to figure out the cause of my [symptom], and you've ordered XYZ tests. If nothing comes back abnormal, you'll [order different tests, refer to specialist, etc.]. In the meantime, I can manage it with [medication, lifestyle change(s), adaptive device, etc.]. Is that a good summary of our plan?"

Rinse & repeat at any/all follow up visits.

Ahh I forgot to do this yesterday day

Favorite lgbt meme?

Favorite Lgbt ship?

Would absolutely have to be zukka

I read a ton of fanfics and love all the fanart.

I love a lot of ships but if I listed them all we’d be here awhile.

Hey can anyone who has heds tell me if binders or corsets help with back pain? I’ve been having horrible back pain more frequently recently and I don’t have a way to ask my doctor for recommendations because I don’t have access to chat with him.

Please I’m in so much pain

Not my dad having called me a slur used for physically disabled people anytime I was injured or in pain during my childhood, long before I was diagnosed with my disability. I didn’t know it was a slur at the time.

Not me assuming that after I actually was diagnosed with a physical disability that he would stop calling me that out off respect or at least ask me if I mind. No one really cares about a child understanding words that are meant to be used as an insult because if they don’t teach them they’re an insult they think they can get away with it. That’s not good.

But I was having a bad pain day and my dad once again called me the G word, which not everyone knows.

He didn’t say it in front of anyone other than me and my mom, and he didn’t say it in an insulting way, however he has a tendency to say rude and cruel things with no intention of them being either (or with the intent but not caring)

I don’t actually have issues with the word itself on reference to me. Gimp(y) and Cripple aren’t words that I am afraid to use to describe me but I don’t need my father to assume I’m okay with using it as an adjective.

I wonder how he’d react to me referring to him as it? Another chronic pain haver who happens to use a cane on occasion.

Hmm