Chapter 12

introducing mate to The 1975 (idk if it’s the girls on the song or them ) but she’s living 😂

Also getting the middle one as a matching one with a friend of mine and I’m so excited ❤️

Bro a live band is playing and they went for a break rn and I can just see the drums unattended and I need to not look at them cuz if I do I’ll sob and wanna play them 😂😂😂

Chapter 26

Word count 2208

I think the only mentions for this one is maybe mentions of depression or inclination of it

THIS ONE IS WRITTEN FROM ROSS’ POV, AND I DONT KNOW HOW ITS GOING TO BE SO IF ITS BAD IM SORRY , I DONT RELALY KNOW ROSS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT

Feedback is always welcome 🥰

Also thank you so much to all of you who are taking time out of your day to read this (I know there’s so many better fanfics out there , better written and all but ) I’m so thankful for those who are reading it

I also do blurbs as well if anyone has any ideas they might want to get to me

I feel like this might be a little trickier for me to write as I've never written anything from Ross'POV before so if this is terrible I'm so sorry .

Ross' POV

"What are we gunna do with you huh ?"

I felt Matty slightly shrug at my question as I slowly wrack my hands through his hair being careful but he still shock his head a little "please don't....it hurts" , he was shivering

"Are you cold?" , I felt him shake his head again at my question. "Do you need water?", again another shake if his head. This is going to be a long night. "What do you need mate?"

"George ...George doesn't...He was gunna call me tonight.can you...can you tell him that I might not be"

"Tell him on what" , I pull my phone out of my pocket being careful enough to try and not disturb Matty who was still resting on my lap

"Add his insta , bedforddanes75, just send him a message", so that I do , I add George but instead of waiting for the add back I send him a message straight away

Ross : Hey if this is the correct George , I'm Ross , Mattys best mate, I know you and Matty were supposed to call tonight but Matty isn't having the best of nights so he's with me , if you need anything please just gimme a shout and I'll see what I can do 😌

I then place my phone on the table beside me and turn my attention straight back to Matty "When was the last time you had a proper meal Matty ?", I'm scared to actually find out the answer at this point , I never realised how thin hed gotten until I was picking him up. He's so light

"Proper meal um .....I don't really know...I snack on stuff occasionally but ..I uh... I don't remember the last full meal I had"

"Right , I'm going to get you some food and water okay, can you stay ere for me?", I felt him shrug again against my leg. "What you trying to say mate?"

"Nothing, just not hungry but alright", I slowly removed him from my legs and tried to tuck him into the bed properly and made sure he was comfy enough. I snag my phone from the table beside him and give him a small peck on his temple "I love you mate"

"You too Rosso" ,

"Just shout if you need me okay"

"Mhm"

I make my way from the my room and quickly through to my mums just checking that there alright "you alright mum".

"I'm alright love, how's Matty doing?" , I slip into the room and close the door leaning against it. "I honestly have no idea at this point Mum"

"What's up with him like love?"

I scratch the back of my head really debating telling my mum about everything because I know she'll tell Denise but I've gotten to the point where I can't keep it together anymore and someone needs to tell Denise and Matty will never do it, so I slide down the door sat down next to it, something I've done since I was young always just sat at the door while I need to tell her something "He's on stuff Mum , like really deep in them and, I don't know if he knows how to stop, he was just messing around to begin with but it's gotten really bad, and it's not my place to tell Denise or Tim but someone needs to and I know he never will and I don't know how to help him anymore Mum but he really needs help."

"What stuff do you mean love, what's he taken"

"I don't know to the full extent because, I don't know how honest he is sometimes when it comes to it but, uh I think he's on coke and drinks a lot too, and weed , I mean I know I smoke weed but like all of it all the time it's just getting to much for him", I know I should trust him in what he tells me but he's just been so off lately and it's so difficult and everyone including himself is suffering and I just need to help him.

"And what do you mean by it just started off as messing around?, you haven't taken anything have you?"

"No I haven't myself , but I do know that uh Janey and Matty used to do stuff when they were just at parties and stuff but I never realised how bad it got for him, he never did it around anyone other than Janey or Corey I think"

"Do I know Corey?", my mum was sat up now on her phone probably about to contact Denise, because that's what mums do isn't it.

"No, I don't really know Corey myself he's a bit older than us but Matty met him at a party"

"Right , thank you my love, is there anything else that Denise would need to know?, anything else really?"

"I think she probably knows but he's really struggling at school , just having panic attacks all the time over the smallest things , but I think she knows that" , I rise up from my spot on the floor and quickly say goodbye to her as I feel like that might be the end of the conversation. Then make my way to the kitchen to make some food for him. Just some eggs on toast , protein might help. As well as a glass of water I make some tea for us both as well it'll calm him down. It takes about ten minutes to get everything ready. I load everything onto a tray and make my way back up to him, when I reach my room the first thing I notice is that Matty is somewhat quiet even in this state.

"Matty" , I push the door open and what I'm faced with is Matty fast asleep in my bed curled up into the blanket still fully clothed. I play the tray on the table next to my bed and just take myself over to the bed and sit next to him. I take out my phone again and see that I have a pending request and message from George.

George : oh hey Ross, thanks for telling me, what happened?

Ross: I don't really know what happened I didn't get the whole story, everything just kind of took a turn for the worst tonight.

George : what do you mean?? Is he okay? , is he awake can I see him?????

Ross: he's alright for now, he's asleep right now and I don't really want to wake him, I don't think he's stable right now

George: when he wakes up can you tell him I'm asking for him yeh ??

Ross: sure thing bro honestly , can I let you in on a little secret ??

George : sure

Ross: I think your gunna be really good for him , he ain't shut up about ya really and uh I think he really likes ya, but please don't hurt him

George : I'd never plan on hurting him, he’s really managed to crawl his way into my brain, I just hope he’s okay

Ross : I’ll keep an eye on him and keep you updated G

I place my phone back into my bedside table and carefully lay down properly and turn my tv on, putting on Simpson a just for background noise while I hold Matty through his tough time and just cradle his body on my arms occasionally telling him everything will be okay

After about another half an hour I can feel him storing in my arms so I release my grip a tiny bit “hey there you muppet”, He doesn’t move much but wraps his arms around me squeezing a little “are you okay?”

“My ead hurts Ross, like real bad”, he buries his head in the crook of my neck trying to hide from the light a little bit.

“Matty?”

“Mhm”

“What happened?, like really ?, can you be honest?” , as he’s leaning against me I can feel a tiny tremor coursing through his body

“I don’t think I can”

“Can’t what ?, tell me?”

“I don’t know what happened Ross I swear, I was fine then I wasn’t, that’s all there is too it”

“Can you at least tell me why you needed to do any of that stuff Matty?, like why did you feel the need to go out and get high again?”

“Everything is just so loud in my head, it’s like grey and cloudy , I see everything in greyscale basically, and I wanted to stop it like even for just a second, like you know when you wake up and like you can hear the birds chirping away and someone is cutting the grass down the road and there’s like sounds from people being busy round the house and it can be quite irritating when your trying to sleep well it’s like that in my head all the time, I can just hear everything, every annoying noise , everything buzzes or ticks , the static in the tv, the electricity running through everything and it’s annoys me so much makes it hard to concentrate and I just wanted to shut it up” , I can feel my shoulder start to get a little wet, indicating that Matty is crying again so I bring my arms around him properly again and hold him. “I just feel lost man….like everything is pushing me closer and closer to the edge everyday….some days I can cope with it ….but other days It just won’t go away”.

“But is nearly killing yourself the answer Matty!?”, I can’t imagine a world where Matty wasn’t in it, We’ve already lost one members of our little clique I don’t know if I’d cope with Matty gone too.

“I’m not gunna die Ross, I’ll be fine, I just don’t know how to deal with it sometimes, this is the only way I know” , Matty let’s go off me now, sits up and wipes his eyes harshly with the sleeve of his jacket. “I just want to feel like I’m not losing my mind”.

“Why can’t you tell people when things get to hard for you” , I adjust myself so I’m sat cross legged on the bed next to him looking at him, searching for any sign , literally anything that might tell me how he’s feeling.

“I try Rosso , but I just…I don’t know, I just feel like if I tell people they’ll try to stop me from doing what I need to do to feel better….and it’ll just make it worse” , Matty mirrors me my actions sat cross legged also but flings his jacket off and placed it in the space between us. “I’m so angry or upset all the time and I hate it , I just wanna be me again”

“You are you, you’ll always be Matty no matter how your feeling , your allowed to be angry , upset , stressed, but you don’t have to destroy yourself Mate, I know your finding stuff hard and I hate having to watch you go through it but I need you to know that your my best mate like ever and I can’t lose you” , we’re both crying now, I rarley cry but when it comes to serious stuff it makes me emotional and I know I’m going to lose it if this keeps happening. “You got some tea and food there can you try have some for me”

“Mhm”, I know he’s not going to have much of it and it’s gone cold but I need to see him eat even if it’s just for my own selfish reasons for my own peice of mind you know, he picks up the tray and starts picking away at the bread. “Ross ?”

“Yeh man”

“Did you tell George?, like what happened”

“No , I didn’t tell him what happened , you should do that , I just told him your having a bad night, and he was asking for you though , he seems like a good egg”

“He so is, would you mind if we called, he might cheer me up a little” , as he’s sipping on his tea I can tell that he’s still a little bit bouncy and I don’t know how to describe it maybe like scared , anxious is the word. “I mean not that your not doing a good job but like, I’d like for you to meet him too”

“Sure you can, but I need you to do one thing for me” , I want him to tell his mum what’s going on like fully , so we can all work on it together , help him through this bump in the road, get him the help he might need and we can get out Matty back.

“Yeh”

“Can you please tell your mum that your um ….I don’t know the word like … struggling with drugs”, he notice him out of the corner of my eye put his toast down as I say it. “Like I know it’ll be hard but she’s been where you are ….she might be a little better help than me and she’ll have better advice than me”

“Okay, but later okay”

This is My Favourite Era of Matty and I won’t be changing my mind anytime soon

It’s like Matty x Johnny Knoxville and I love it 😂😂

Matty in graphic tees: A Collection

Chapter 14

Word count : 2225

This one is just cute more Louis and Matty I recommend listening to “I’d there somebody who can watch you “ while reading

Matty's POV

I slept through the night again, I can't really confirm wether my dreams were good or bad but I slept and I feel great. It's a bit cold since I didn't sleep with much on so I pull my blanket around me George is still there fast asleep bless him , I know he'll have to be awake soon enough but I don't want to wake him up he's so pretty just asleep although there's not much of it his hair is draped across the pillow and he's pretty much holding the duvet too his chin so sweet. Right on que Lou comes bouldering into my room "oh your awake today". I sit up and rub my eyes the room is still a little bit blurry as I've just woken up

"Yeh sweet one I'm awake but we have to be quiet , Matty's friend is sleeping okay" as I tell him we have to be quiet I put my finger to his lips indicating that we have to shush. He then climbs onto my bed and sits on my legs like he's sitting on my knees "how are you this morning kiddo ?" . I ask him as I pull him into a hug.

He settles into my hug and plays with the hair on the nape of my neck "I'm still a little bit sleepy, but I've got school don't I?", he turns to look at my screen and looks at me pointing to the screen "who's that ?"

"That's just Maffu's friend George" , I smile at him still just laying there , then look at Louis I ruffle his hair he looks a little confused but what can you say he's a kid "what's up kid?"

"Why did you just call him if he's sleepin ?", A child innocence is so lovely to me. Not understanding the world fully.

"We were talking last night and we just feel asleep that's all kiddo, but Maffu has to get dressed for school now, do you want my help getting you ready or can you do it like a big boy ?"

"Can you help ?" , I ruffle his hair and hug him into me a little again and let him go to get his uniform , while he's away I quickly find a T-shirt to put on before he comes back. He comes back a few moments later with his uniform bundled in his arms, he's so grown up I can't deal with it

"Come on then, come ere, did you brush your teeth?" , he looks at me and smiles , which is a tell tale sign that he hasn't yet but will try to say he has, I know that trick to well im the king of that one "Come on Maffu will do it with you" . I take his uniform and place it on my bed, lift him up and take him to my bathroom , I keep a toothbrush in my en-suite for him because he does like to do his with me sometimes, he gets his little stool and drags it over to the sink so he can see in the mirror when he brushes. He's like me he likes to watch himself no matter what he's doing. "What do we need first?", I know what we need obviously but I'm helping him learn.

"We need toothpaste silly", he stretches over the sink and grabs the toothpaste and our brushes and hands me mine, "it's got to be only a little bit though not to much only small" . He's so cute, I put the toothpaste onto his brush and then my own . He then starts brushing and I join in. I watch him brush while I do, I can't believe how grown up he's gotten, he's so little still but sooo grown up and it makes me want to cry. We brush for the amount of time your supposed to then we rinse again obviously.

" want me to brush your hair too". I pick up my brush and the gel but he shakes his head and jumps down from the stool and pushes it back into the corner

"Mummy doesn't brush my hair until after I'm dressed Maffu". That would make sense, he runs back throw to my room as I follow after him, He stands awkwardly waiting for me. I begin to get him dressed trousers first and he stops me before I do up his button. "I can do it" , I let him do it for himself , next is his polo shirt and he does the same again I get it on for him and he does up his own buttons, then he pulls his jumper on. Arghh that's my little brother right there he's so smart. "You can brush my hair now , can you make it like yours?" . We trundle back through to my bathroom and I starts brushing his hair making sure there's no tiny knots in it , and then rub in a little bit of gel and slick it back a little bit, It can't be exactly like mine as he's got a full head of hair mine is a mullet but I try

"Is that good for you", he's smiling in the mirror so I can tell he's happy with it , he then spots my glasses on the sink where I left them yesterday and he puts them on. I smile at him, there too big for him so they keep sliding down but he persists. "Take a picture"

I quickly grab my phone from the bedroom making sure we haven't woken George up but he's still sound asleep it's nearly 7 so assume he will be soon. I open Snapchat and take a picture of us in the mirror , he's standing with his tongue out and making the little rocker kid sign his hands are so small my god, I save it and let him see "yes I like it"

"I like it too kid , should we send it too daddy, for when he gets to work"

"And show mummy, can I show mummy?"

"In a moment yeh , I send it to George captioned "Morning from us G", I then select the picture again in my memories and give it to him so he can go show Mum. This will give me sometime to get myself ready, I hop into the shower after I strip down and give myself a quick clean up washing the events of yesterday off of me and relaxing in the heat, I only take about ten minutes because I'm sure Loiue will be back anytime soon, then I wrap a towel around myself after getting out , I hear an alarm going off in my room must be George. I'll let him wake before I go see him so I do my hair brushing it to get all the knots out I have far more knots in mine that Louis did mine is much curlier than his. I spray myself with some deodorant and some aftershave then look in my cupboard for my contacts but I can't seem to find them "oh well, I'll just ave to wear my glasses", I pad through to my room pulling out some clean boxers and some clean trousers and pull them on then I decide it's finally time to go see George , I jump onto my bed careful not to just to hard incase I brake it again "Good Morning" , he's smiling at his phone I guess he's opening the snap, I start to blush again even though he's not looking at me but the fact he's smiling at our picture it's making me feel things.

"Good morning love, did you get your brother dressed ?" He shows the picture to me still smiling like a twat "who's glasses are they ?"

"There mine, he likes to wear them a lot makes him feel like me , he likes to be like me as you can probably tell from the picture", I get back up to get my shirt and blazer, then to pack my rucksack for today double checking maybe even triple checking that I have everything I need today , going over it in my head , History , French , English and Art not a terrible day today the only thing I can't find is my art folder but I think my mum maybe has it, she likes looking at what I do

"Can I save it" he sounds further away from the camera as I can't hear him as clear he must be getting dressed too , once I've got myself completely ready I sit back down on the bed. Putting my shoes on , it makes me smile when he asks and I blush again

"Yeh if you like". I'll have to resend it as I'm sure it's already gone from the snap as there not on that long , so I do. Then Louis comes back into my room mid way through a game I believe since he's not really paying much attention and he's just stood at the door with my phone, Once he's finished playing what I assume is a level on angry birds he comes bounding over and hands me it back and my glasses, "Thanks kiddo , you can say good morning to Georgie now he's awake"

"Good Morning George" , he's stood there stood at the side of my bed waving at the camera I can see he has his shoes on but there not tied "How about I tie those for you Kid ?" He jumps up onto the bed and he puts one foot on my leg as I quickly start tying it. I can see in my peripheral that George has come back into the screen and is actually wearing his uniform today and he's smiling at me waving at Louis who's just blindly staring at him. "Next one" he replaces his foot with the other and I tie that one too. He then jumps back down off the bed after waving goodbye to George and stands looking at me "Do I look just like you Maffu" , I wipe my glasses clean and place them on for the first time in what four days and smile at him while telling him he does and he leaves again. I was right my glasses do enhance everything and any light that's in my room reaches my retinas tenfold but I try to get used to it. It's just George and I again

"Your good with him", he's just watching me trying to adjust to my glasses and the screen is a little blurry but I can still make everything out, it's already giving me a sore head this won't be good but I have to wear them.

"I did say we were inseparable didn't I"

"That you did" , he gets up and starts packing his bag none of his things are in folders and he just has papers upon papers piled in his bag which is the most typical 16 year old bag just a black Nike bag , he's wearing a shirt and tie with black trousers like most uniforms but he's still wearing a black hoodie and red vans that's a bold choice but I love it , I can hear movement on his side that isn't coming from his room and he turns to me "I'll have to go now Matty , my mum will want to make sure I'm ready but I'll message you on my way to school yeh ?"

"Yeh that sounds good" I smile at him and wave "See you later darlin"

"Talk later love" he waved and the then the call ended. Leaving me alone for the first time in maybe 8 hours, it's weird I miss him the minute he's gone but I can do it. I pick up my rucksack and a few fags and a joint or two and then exit my room waiting for my mother to bombard me with questions

"Good morning sweetheart" . I walk over to my mother and kiss her on the cheek Louis is sitting eating coco pops and I put my rucksack on the chair beside him and begin making some food. Just toast but it's something and my mother is looking at me weirdly.

"Good morning mum , how are you this morning" , she hands me a mug of coffee which I am internally great full for and sits down across from Lou making sure he isn't getting milk all over his clean uniform. I too sit down once my toast is ready and make my way through it. It's only a slice but I do it. My mother starts telling me about how her night was and her plans for today after she takes Louis to school and asking if I'm going to manage today , to make sure to message her if I need to leave but I tell her I'll be fine that I've got Jamie in a few of my classes today and that's it's not a bad day today. After I've finished my coffee I kiss Louis on the head and say goodbye to both of them and leave for school feeling great for the first time in a while

Need to preface that it’s always been an issues people always struggle to understand or hear me but it’s just recently that it’s making me wanna pull my hair out

I need to discuss this with somebody , cuz I feel like I’m going insane and it’s infuriating me , for like I want to say for at least the last week everytime I’ve said something to anyone they can’t hear me and it takes like 3 times for me to say it till they hear me but I feel like I’m shouting and it’s so mad , idk if it’s an adhd thing but I feel like I’m speaking loud and clearly but everytime there like “what you saying speak up” it just makes me not want to repeat myself or just in general makes me not want to speak , anyone have any tips for this

I really felt the need cuz I found my football 😂

Hi everyone I’m a bit late to the tblr game rn 😂😂

But anyway I have a fan fiction on Wattpad called Heart out and it’s so darn cute and fluffy it’s not completed but if you want to give it a quick read feel free

If you want a quick description of it before you read send me a message and I’ll give you a synopsis

Thanks ❤️

This George is my absolute fave Era of G , and Matty and And G playing Rock Paper Scissors is deffo how I imagine them in my Fanfic it’s so funny