Dad Jokes With Kratos

I would die for romantic iron husbands, but platonic rhodeytony?? Fuck. They literally destroy toxic masculinity.

Snuggling? They do that. Hugging? They invented that. Kissing each other’s cheeks? They made that. Being close and comfortable with one another without the cursed “no homo” exchange? They own that!!!

hueheuheu

Got any headcanons for mamahawk post promised day?

Riza knows Al has a growing list of foods she has made that he wants to eat, so she brings dishes to the hospital for him to eat once he is able to eat solid foods.

After they arrive home, she calls every couple of weeks to check up on them and to make sure they’re both doing well as they continue to heal.

She is the first person Ed calls to tell about his engagement to Winry. It’s only fit seeing how he realized he was in love with her after Riza mentioned it.

She is a big part of Edward and Winry’s wedding, helping them organize it and helping set up when the big day comes. She doesn’t stand in it, but she has a front row seat. She does steal a dance with Ed, though, and it’s very similar to a mother and groom dance. 

She visits the Elric-Rockbell household at least 2 times per year, more if there is a special event (such as birthdays) going on.

Riza is there when Winry gives birth to their first child and she stays with them for two weeks after her discharge from the hospital to help them out with the baby. They can’t help but notice during that time how well she does with children of all ages.

The Edwin kids are constantly in a toss-up, alternating between referring to her as their aunt and thinking of her as a grandmother-like figure because of the way she treats Ed and Uncle Al.

Alphonse visits her for tea every time he is in Central. He isn’t able to always call ahead so she always has his favorite teas on-hand.

The Elrics send her flowers every Mother’s Day, and once their kids are older they do the same. Over time, she ends up with a garden in her apartment once per year.

“Like father, like son”  

@typhonisking and I were talking about @therealjacksepticeye ‘s playthrough of God of War and Ty brought up this very likely scenario LOL

This is my first comic I’ve posted online. So uh… enjoy? ^^~

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Ed at age 40: What do you MEAN I can't be cuddled by my dads anymore what am I, an adult???

Women saving each other. 

idk what he said but he seems to think its p funny so

tony has had an on and off crush on rhodney since they were really young. sometimes he thinks he's over it and then rhodney will do Something and tony's heart skips a beat and is just like "oh no." and gets real down on himself because obviously rhodney would never love him in the same way

this has been sitting in my asks for a while bc i love it but i always felt like i couldn’t do it justice but here i am willing to try let’s do this 

The first time Tony thinks about even liking Rhodey, it’s when he gets him cough medicine and water when he’s sick. 

“You dumbass, you’re sick,” Rhodey says. “You need to care of that.” 

“I am invincible,” Tony scoffs. He then sneezes so hard that he nearly falls off the couch. Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“You giant dork, don’t get me sick. We’re gonna watch some crap television.” They end up getting around to watching Star Trek: Next Generation, which isn’t crap, and Tony looks at Rhodey. 

He’s really cute. 

Oh no. None of that. A.) Why the hell would Rhodey date him? B.) There are better options for Rhodey. C.) Mom and dad would kill him for even dating a man. 

Turns out he doesn’t have to worry about reason C after a while. But he has a lot more on his plate after the reason gets resolved. 

He hides in his lab for one week. He’s creating, definitely not crying, and drinking scotch that Howard said should only be allowed to come out when there was a major business deal. 

Rhodey finds him in the lab, working on another weapon. “Tones,” Rhodey says. He looks up. Rhodey looks nice. Tired. 

“You don’t have to be here,” Tony says. “I know I’m a mess, I don’t want you dealing with all…that.” 

“Want and need are two very different concepts,” Rhodey says, laughing as Tony rolls his eyes. There was this required literature class, Tony hated it, and Rhodey loved teasing him about it. He was funny like that. “Come on up, I made you the greasiest breakfast alive.” 

“With brown sugar bacon?” 

“Yes, as long as you help me wash everything because I don’t know how to work the dishwasher and you do. Come on.” 

So they eat breakfast together, and the sunlight hits, and Tony wishes that this could be life permanently. Him and Rhodey, eating breakfast and watching the news or reading it. 

But it can’t be. Because Rhodey is…he’s someone else. He’s the kind of guy who deserves to have a nice house, wonderful partner, kids if he wants them, and two dogs. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t need such a fuck-up in his life, because honestly, Rhodey has higher standards. Thank god. 

So Tony turns to see the news, and they’re still talking about Howard and Maria Stark, and the tragedy, and how their son hasn’t come to the media. When will he come so that they can act like they care about his state of being, like they don’t want all the grisly details? Tony, Tony, can you tell us about the car? How did they look? Where were you? Why weren’t you with your family? And Tony will smile and charm them and hate everything about it. 

He does that. Puts on a suit, a deep red tie, and lets loose. He tells them that it’s not their business, and that they were going to take a romantic getaway together. “And of course, you can’t have romantic with a kid in the way,” Tony says, and the reporter laughs. 

Rhodey greets him at home with a hug, hot chocolate, and a promise that Tony’s gonna get the best fucking Christmas present ever. Oh! They also got a real Christmas tree! 

Tony’s never had a real Christmas tree. Well, they have. Maria liked to keep up appearances, pretend like they all cared about the holiday and what it meant. But this is…different. Rhodey did a haul at ornament stores and found the worst ones. The rejects, the funny ones, and the neon plastic. 

“This is going to look awful honey bear,” Tony remarks. “Let’s do it.” 

They put on the radio, dance to Christmas music, and Tony realizes that most people actually have fun on the holiday. Who knew? 

Tony’s flown to the Rhodes’ house for Christmas. “You’re not spending it alone,” Rhodey says. “You’d probably drink too much and pass out.” 

“Saying that’s a bad thing?” 

“Well, Mama makes the best Christmas dinner and you know it.” 

Mr. and Mrs. Rhodes greet Tony like he’s a son coming home, and Tony can’t help but think that maybe this is how parents were supposed to be. And then he feels guilty because his literally just died what the hell–and Mama just pulls him into a hug. 

“Come on, help me around the house, hmm?” 

Rhodey complains that Mama treats Tony more like a son than her actual son, the one she birthed, and Tony just laughs as they string dried oranges and cranberries onto a string for decoration. 

“Jimmy, have some heart. And go to the store and get me some more apples, wouldn’t you?” 

It’s Christmas Eve when Tony and Rhodey are playing chess together, and Rhodey says that he’s really glad that Tony came. He was worried. 

It is Christmas Eve when Tony realizes he’s in love with James Rupert Rhodes, but he’s never going to do anything about it.