It’s a few days following the Promised Day. Al is regaining his strength, although it happens slowly. Ed, save for the occasional spike of pain through the puncture wound in his arm and the dull soreness in his body, is more or less back to normal. He still has a lot to do before the two of them can leave for good—accounts to close, resignation forms to hand in to the military, personal budgets to balance, tabs to pay. What may be weeks’ worth of paperwork he needs to get sorted out before he can finally close the military chapter of his life. He plans to get the jump on it while Al recovers, so the two can return to Resembool as soon as Al’s ready.
So hardly 72 hours following his defeat of Father, Ed is standing at the hospital check-out desk, running through a mental laundry list of loose ends he has to tie up. He flies through the hospital check-out form—name and date of birth and signature and home town. The secretary at the desk takes the papers and makes a small noise. It stops Ed just as he turns to leave. “You’re not 18 yet, are you?” she asks.
“No. Why?” “Then you need someone to sign the parent or guardian line. You can’t check yourself out until you’re 18.” “I’m a state alchemist. I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to check myself out of a hospital if I want.” “Sorry. These are different rules.”
Biting back a comment, Ed twists back down the hallway. He keeps his eyes peeled for the names on the door, hoping (though he knows he’s wrong) that maybe Hohenheim stuck around for a suture or two. He passes Mustang, who can’t help but comment, “You’re in a rush today.” “Of course I am. I’ve got about 800 different forms to sign before the military cuts me loose, and I can’t even check myself out without a parent’s signature. Where’s my stupid excuse for a father?”
He doesn’t stop to gauge Mustang’s reaction. He rounds corners, climbs stairs, sharp eyes bouncing back and forth from room card to room card. Nothing with “Hohenheim” on it. Nothing even close. His arm aches—both do, actually—but he hardly notices past the aggravation brewing in his mind.
And after 20 minutes of rounds, he ends up back at the secretary’s desk, more flushed than before, arms folded over his chest. “My dad’s not here. How much do I have to pay you off to let me go?” She looks up at him, somewhat confused, and somehow much more tired than before. She blinks behind dusty glasses. “Oh…No, you’re free to leave now. …I guess.”
“Well why didn’t you tell me before?” Ed asks. She pulls his form out and pushes it back to him. Ed takes it, turns it, scans it. All the parts he’d filled out are still there, but the bottom has changed since he last saw it. On the line, in tight blue ink, is “Col. R. Mustang, (Military Commander)” Ed blinks, brow knitted, because the line goes on: “Lt. R. Hawkeye” is looped in neat cursive beside it. Black ink below: “Izumi Curtis” then in thick blockish letters, just the word “Sig”. Taking up the most space, and done in the neatest, most brilliant cursive font: “Major Alexander Louis Armstrong”. To its right is an almost flat line, with just enough bumps to perhaps say “Gen. Olivier Armstrong”. A flowery “Maria Ross” and a messy “Denny Brosh” (both in to visit Major Armstrong). A “Zampano”. A “Jerso”. A “Heinkel”. A “Darius”. “Tim Marcoh” is squished in the paper’s dwindling space. “Kain Fury” “Heymans Breda” “Vato Falman”…
Ed glances up to the secretary, who looks suddenly so tired. “We just… At least one of those is…probably valid. You’re free to go. You’re released.” Ed nods, smiling and peddling backwards. His one metal leg clanks with each step. “Right, thank you!”
The secretary leans over her desk, shouting to keep up with his happily retreating figure. “Just so you know, these are official documents. Patient protocol is not a game. It doesn’t reflect well on me if your Colonel thinks it’s okay to round up half the hospital to sign–this is not a “get well” card–just…Please tell him not to do this again!”
“Oh sure thing,” Ed shouts back. “But that depends on how difficult you plan to be with Al.”
edward elric and the case of the many parental figures
his joy
bonus:
Dad Jokes with Kratos
STRETCH ARMSTRONG AND THE FLEX FIGHTERS IS ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW AND I WATCHED THE WHOLE THING!! ITS SO GREAT AND YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!!
Nathan is best boy
The Hollow - Mira
remember that time in the Manga when Roy was told to lay low bc Scar was trying to kill state alchemist and instead Mustang was like “oh no my sons.” and ran straight at Scar instead of trying to stay alive by laying los
How could I forget it’s my absolute most favorite scene in anything ever. You want to know why?
Roy Mustang is a very calculated man. Very calculated. I know we all like to pretend that he’s an idiot, and sure, sometimes he is. Sometimes he’s an absolute moron, but he’s not about to throw his life away just to prove a point. He called all attention to himself, okay? He knew that it was raining; it’s his biggest weakness and Roy Mustang does not do weaknesses that he can’t combat. He was perfectly aware that it was raining and he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing from the second that he stepped into that car at Eastern Command.
So, he called attention to himself. He shot a bullet into the air and took all attention away from Ed, even though Edward was currently at Scar’s feet and about to die. He handed his gun to Hawkeye (who hopefully knew what he was up to or at least had a clue) and made himself vulnerable. He didn’t have faith in his abilities; he knew it wouldn’t work. He made himself an easy target. Because now, Ed is forgotten about. Ed is at Scar’s feet but completely forgotten. Roy hasn’t just made himself a target, either. He is the target. This man has been running around killing State Alchemists, saying it was against his god, so he made it clear who exactly he was and why exactly Scar should be targetting him.
And it works!
After all, whether they knew who Scar was or not, they knew that he was punishing State Alchemists for their acts against his god. Ed is not as big a ‘sinner’ as Roy is. And Scar, an Ishvalan who dealt personally with State Alchemists and who knows that Roy was one of the worst of the bunch, shifts all of his attention from Ed to Roy. Now, Ed is safe. And now Riza, who is better than Roy is with guns, has two of them and a drive to protect. Putting himself in danger like that was the only way to ensure that they all got out of there safely.
tl;dr Roy Mustang absolutely knew what he was doing; he purposefully put himself in danger to ensure his sons’ safety, while keeping his foolish young upstart facade perfectly in tact.
Lawful Cute: Ironhusbands
Neutral Cute: Pepperony
Chaotic Cute: ScienceBros
Lawful Loving: Starkquill
Neutral Loving: Tony x Happiness
Chaotic Loving: Winteriron
Lawful Sexy: Ironstrange
Neutral Sexy: Ironthunder
Chaotic Sexy: Frostiron