Dad Jokes With Kratos

Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

Fanfiction recommendations?? Love your blog!

here are some of the fics we have saved in our discord! (put under a read more cause uhhhh we have a lot)

Keep reading

Could you draw some parental Scar with Mei? I love all your art by the way, 10/10 best blog on this damn website

*accidentally adopts a daughter*

“Safety first. What are you? FIVE?” Tony/rhodey

“Oh my god, seriously?” Rhodey groans. “Safety goggles?” 

“Yes,” Tony answers primly. “I wasn’t raised like an animal, Rhodey.” 

“Oh, rich boy?” Rhodey asks. “I saw you come home last night and attack that ramen as if you were eating your last meal as a wild dog. Shut up.” Tony rolls his eyes, still snapping his goggles on. 

“I’m sorry, I’d rather be blinded by something else rather than my lack of knowledge about basic safety procedures, darling dearest.” 

“Can you guys quit flirting and actually get started on your robot?!” Kendra calls from the other side of the room. “Some of us actually ate a good breakfast!” Rhodey flips her off, but takes a pair of goggles. 

“Only because you’re a nerd for safety,” he says. 

“Whatever you say honey,” Tony responds. “Besides, don’t listen to Kendra. We’re already about two weeks ahead of schedule, and I think this one is gonna be awesome.” 

“We already built Dum-E, who you said was going to be awesome, and then he planned a road trip to downtown Boston,” Rhodey snarks. “Real classy, by the way.” 

“You’re the one who gave him a rambunctious personality,” Tony says. “I’m not responsible for that one.” 

“And yet, everyone attributes it to you,” Rhodey says. “Almost like you’re the troublemaker.” 

“You love it,” Tony grins, going in for a quick peck. “I was thinking, they put in a new Indian restaurant, and I met the new owner, and he said we should stop by for date night. They promise the best ever.” 

“You just want an opportunity to tip over a hundred percent.” 

“…correct.” Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“Sure, babe. Six work okay for you?” 

“Yes!” 

I think my favourite part of the Thor trilogy is how at the end of dark world we saw this

And we all just went “OH SHIT!!! LOKI’S KING!!! EVERYONE’S FUCKED!!!” But then Ragnarok rolled around and it turns out all he does is

Watch plays of himself and

Build big statues like hot damn the avengers really wasted a whole movie tryna stop this bitch when they could have just written him a play and built him a statue and he would’ve been satisfied

a concept : back when Roy first acquired Ed & Al, Al finds a kitten on the way to the office and puts it in his armor for safe keeping (as one does) but it wakes up and meows and Riza and others are like "whats that noise" and Al panics because kittens are probably not permitted so he just bursts into Roy's office, hands him a kitten, and goes back out to show that there was clearly nothing making noise. And Roy just has to deal bc he'd die before disappointing like 12 yr old Al

*huge breath* AWWWWWWWW

Pepper, can’t find Tony in the tower: Iron Man is just a suit and Tony Stark an arrogant, dumb and unworthy Alcoholic!

Steve, from the other room: What the Fuck did you just say?!

Clint, from the ventilation shaft: I interrogated myself better!

Rhodey & Sam, fly through the window: Say that again!

Bucky & Natsha, holding guns: You better run!

Peter Parker, from the top of the fridge: Shut your ignorant mouth!

T'Challa, in Wakanda: I can tell you how worng you are, but in hell they will.

Bruce Wayne, in the DC Universe: Alfret! We have to built a portel and kick someone ass!

Tony himself, liying on the ground: Damn right, sister!

remember that time in the Manga when Roy was told to lay low bc Scar was trying to kill state alchemist and instead Mustang was like “oh no my sons.” and ran straight at Scar instead of trying to stay alive by laying los

How could I forget it’s my absolute most favorite scene in anything ever. You want to know why?

Roy Mustang is a very calculated man. Very calculated. I know we all like to pretend that he’s an idiot, and sure, sometimes he is. Sometimes he’s an absolute moron, but he’s not about to throw his life away just to prove a point. He called all attention to himself, okay? He knew that it was raining; it’s his biggest weakness and Roy Mustang does not do weaknesses that he can’t combat. He was perfectly aware that it was raining and he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing from the second that he stepped into that car at Eastern Command. 

So, he called attention to himself. He shot a bullet into the air and took all attention away from Ed, even though Edward was currently at Scar’s feet and about to die. He handed his gun to Hawkeye (who hopefully knew what he was up to or at least had a clue) and made himself vulnerable. He didn’t have faith in his abilities; he knew it wouldn’t work. He made himself an easy target. Because now, Ed is forgotten about. Ed is at Scar’s feet but completely forgotten. Roy hasn’t just made himself a target, either. He is the target. This man has been running around killing State Alchemists, saying it was against his god, so he made it clear who exactly he was and why exactly Scar should be targetting him. 

And it works! 

After all, whether they knew who Scar was or not, they knew that he was punishing State Alchemists for their acts against his god. Ed is not as big a ‘sinner’ as Roy is. And Scar, an Ishvalan who dealt personally with State Alchemists and who knows that Roy was one of the worst of the bunch, shifts all of his attention from Ed to Roy. Now, Ed is safe. And now Riza, who is better than Roy is with guns, has two of them and a drive to protect. Putting himself in danger like that was the only way to ensure that they all got out of there safely.

tl;dr Roy Mustang absolutely knew what he was doing; he purposefully put himself in danger to ensure his sons’ safety, while keeping his foolish young upstart facade perfectly in tact.