I Can See Them Having A Quiet Moment Without Hugs Or Sobbing, Silent Tears With Hushed Words. A Very

I was rereading SBG and in chapter 39, Aiden says "you seem like the type of person to only get close to those who are special to you, and I dont know how to go about that" (paraphrased)

This man is literally telling her, TO HER FACE that he wants to be someone special to her. He is so clueless when it comes to emotional interactions and just relationships in general. He doesnt know what it is to truly have a friend, and he seems scared of messing it up. He blames himself for her getting hurt and he admits he was the problem and apologizes. He basically tells her 'I care about you and I want us to be close but I have no idea what Im doing, help me to be someone to you, help me learn how to be someone for you'

AHHHH Im probably reading too much into this but as someone who didnt have friends until I was like 14, I know how easy it is to desperately cling to someone and hope with everything in your heart that they care as much as you do. He definitely seems to be doing that here and it makes my heart hurt 😭

This will be my second post on here! So, here are my sbg headcannons:)

Taylor+Aiden gossip besties and sometimes they drag Ash and/or Logan with them

Taylor LOVES K-pop and always tries to teach the others dances.

Ash EATS every single time

Aiden is actually really good(like suspiciously good) (did he practice beforehand?)

Ben and Logan are decent but not great

Tyler couldn’t stand on one leg to save his life there is NO WAY he’s getting through K-pop choreo

They were all hanging out one day and Logan just started crying because he was so grateful for all of them

Logan+Ash siblings go

Logan has a different flower assigned to each member of the group and doodles them whenever he’s missing the others

Ben knows how to do hair(because of lily) and Taylor and Ash always have amazing hairstyles after hanging out with him

The group is trying their best to learn ASL so they can communicate with Ben more easily

Tyler has broken at least 5 bones in his life

Aiden has broken none

Ben almost died once because he fell asleep with wired earbuds in and choked himself

Party rock anthem once played at a school dance. They never recovered.

Aiden can do a backflip

Aiden can’t write. Not like he’s fully unable to do the act of writing but like, he can’t write an essay. Partly because he looses motivation and concentration half way through and partly because it’ll just be incomprehensible by the end.

The twins 100% have abandonment issues

Aiden owns a katana

The twins totally have a secret handshake

They also most definitely had a case of cryptophasia

Logan got increasingly more strange as the group got to know him

Spoilers

Her letting Aiden and Taylor braid her hair, and then her reaching out to Aiden when she was scared of what to do (plus him getting upset by flash backs) she really is becoming so much more comfortable and dependent on them 🥲

erm little Ashlyn rant (very big spoilers if ur not caught up with sbg)

I don’t think we talk enough about how much Ashlyn has grown and gotten more comfortable in the group. She was vulnerable before they got the jeep, even if it was just a little bit. And when Aiden died she immediately ran in to hug him. WHAT?! She has explicitly never done that. That’s something she explicitly HATES doing, but she did it with zero hesitation because she cares for him. When they were separated in the hospital for that little bit, when Logan and Ben found her, she ALSO immediately ran to hug them. Zero hesitation. She did the same when they found Taylor. (Not Tyler for obvious reasons and for some reason not Aiden but the thought still counts.)

and later when the group was finally together again after the whole ‘Ashlyn touching a phantom’ thing, Taylor and Aiden were WRAPPED. AROUND. HER. Sure, she told them to get off, but it just didn’t seem like she hated it like she would in the earlier season/episodes.

and earlier, when they just got to the hospital and Alex was questioning Ashlyn, she immediately asked where her friends were. Word for word, she asked “Where are my friends?” HELLO? She’s never called them her friends before. Maybe she didn’t say it to their face, but she still called them her friends. Also the fact that they were immediately her first priority. Not “where am I?” “Where are my parents”, no, she saved that for later. First, she needed to know her friends were safe.

and I would mention the whole Aiden and Ashlyn talk after they get the jeep but that would get me talking for a WHILE, and this is getting long sooo

BUT IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I LOVE HER DEVELOPMENT AND SHE LOVES AND CARES FOR THEM AND SHES SUCH A WELL WRITTEN CHRACTER WAHHHHHH

So I may or may not have gone straight home from work and spent the last three hours teaching myself to animate...

Anyway heres a sneak peak :D

Who knows, maybe I'll actually finish it 🤷‍♀️

Surprisingly not SBG related 😅

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesn’t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books 😭

Yes! Yes 100% Yes. PLEASE

inspired by post from @jordiipordii :)

Things I want to happen school bus graveyard

• Aiden to lose it and go apeshit one someone (phantom or a person)

• for Ashlyn to be genuinely happy for more than one panel 🥲

• Ben to say something (whispering or yelling, maybe sometime happens and he no longer cares what he sounds like/ how bad it hurts)

• ( specifically in the facility ) one of them to get fatally hurt and the others all desperatly trying to break out of their rooms/break the lock ( I dont really want anyone to die but I think it would make for a great scene for them to use like the dresser drawers or something to bust out)

• For Taylor to save the day via mechanical skills (escape car?)

• For the parents (specifically Jessica 😠) to finally understand the extent of what their kids have gone through

The only reason Kevin could get out was because he was injured. Jean was "healthy", he could play and he wasnt free. Kevin had a choice. Make it out and leave Jean behind or stay where worse things will happen. Taking Jean would have never worked 😔 and I'm sure a part of Kevin died when he realized that.

"Why didn't Kevin take Jean with-"

Maybe because he's sold to the moriyamas? And that both of them wouldn't make it out? Jean would probably be killed or beaten horribly after because he has no choicenbut to stay with his owners?

This song is both Andreil coded and Jeaneil coded. Andrews POV to Neil and Neils POV to Jean. Its all i can think of everytime i hear it

"And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight

But my hand's been broken one too many times

So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude

Words, they always win, but I know I'll lose"

Andrew having lost Cass, the only person he considered family for so long. He gave so much of himself up and let himself be ruined just so he could have a mother. Not sure how love a person because life has been an endless cycle of hate and hurt.

Neil having seen everything Jean went through, wanting so desperately to protect him but he failed before he even knew him. Knowing of the ruthless, never ending suffering Jean indured alone, being his misplaved forever partner, not even knowing he abandoned him.

Both wanting to fight, willing to do and say anything for his sake. Andrew willing to go against the literal yakuza. Neil putting a hit out in Grayson. Ready to meet the ends of the earth, but its so difficult because of everything that happened in their pasts.

The thing about writing is we’re taught to write in a very specific way as children that is deemed as the “correct” way. And it’s so important to have those fundamentals — to know how sentences are constructed and what is proper paragraph structure and to become familiar with grammar. Those are essential building blocks.

But because schools have to focus on essay writing and technicalities and whatever is needed for the latest standardized test, it’s often the only way we learn how to write when there’s so many ways to write. There’s technical writing, journalistic writing but also editorial writing, copywriting, letter writing, free writing … to infinity and beyond.

We often don’t explore creative writing in an academic setting until later in life when we seek it out (or never at all in most cases). And while there’s guides for these looser types of writing, as well, it’s important to know you can just say FUCK ALL and bastardize the rules that were beat into your brain by red pens all your life.

Make up words. A paragraph can be one sentence, one word, or a whole damn monologue. Run-on sentences can be a style choice. Make a chapter one line. Use capitalization however you see fit. Start sentences with conjunctions. Be abstract in imagery. Forget commas exist and keep using ‘and’ instead (<- my favorite). Fragments can be fire. Create your own voice in the remnants of a burned language.

Learning the rules also means knowing how and when to break them. So break them to tell your story the way you want.