Doing Things Ironically Is The Gateway Drug To Doing Things Unironically

idk if someone made this already but i saw this text and immediately thought of them

You know, a Minecraft Movie could have been a literal masterpiece if you had the right mindset to do it, and I'm not joking. I feel like nowadays studios are afraid of being genuine like a teen is afraid of being genuine. If a movie suddenly gets too excited about something, it needs to put it down so it doesn't sound "lame" or "cringe". You cannot be honest, and you cannot show love or absurdity without pointing out that it's stupid because you think OTHERS will believe it's stupid. So please bear with me:

Currently we have only a teaser trailer, it looks bad, it puts itself down, it's afraid of being genuine, it somehow managed to whitewash Steve (again), and I doubt that it will use things like the End Poem or how it feels to play Minecraft for its themes and story. I hope that I'm wrong, but I'm very cynical. So, let's think about it together.

Minecraft Movie. I saw a post suggesting stop-motion animation for it, and, honestly, it feels perfect, just like stylized 3D animation. Live action actors do not work with how Minecraft looks, and that's okay. Let's do an animated movie.

The plot. There's so, so many possibilities, but the beauty of making a Minecraft animated movie is that you won't ever be able to tackle all the possibilities it brings to the table. The community has made so many stories for the game, so we might as well just think of an "official" movie as a homage to the game and its community. We are adapting the way Minecraft feels.

End Poem, one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Let's take that and put it in the movie, simple as that. You can only find it by defeating the Ender Dragon, so this will be how our movie ends. If we want it to end like this, then the objective of our protagonists must be to defeat the dragon.

Let's have Steve as our protagonist - not a whitewashed version, just Steve with his actual skin color left just the way it is. He'll represent us as players for our hypothetical movie. Have him wake up in an unknown world, not knowing why he's there. Just like how the game was all the way back in 2009, he's alone in a very lonely and foggy world. We follow him trying to look for other people, and then he has to survive his first night. This first part is both whimsical and a bit scary, because that's how many players felt when they first started it when they were kids, aallllll the way back.

Steve survives his first night. He's horrified, and then he realizes that he'll have to do it again. He doesn't know the "rules" of this world, but he's figuring them out, and the idea of "rules" and "what to do" will be important. Because, at its core, Minecraft doesn't have that many rules. It has no actual objective. You can do whatever you want, and this will be very (very) important.

Steve ends up building a small base with wood. Survives a bit more, and then, someway, somehow, he finds Alex. While he's more careful around things and very thoughtful on how and what to build, Alex is more of an adventurer, following the little tidbits of personality we see from them during Minecraft trailers. They're happy to know that they aren't alone, and we follow them build a very strong friendship and teach each other new things, just like how it is playing Minecraft in real life. They find a village, and find out that maybe they can leave this world, or at least find some answers, if they defeat the Ender Dragon.

From there, we have a good objective. The two continue progressing, and their base ends up becoming a castle, because who didn't want to build a castle when they were kids? And the world seems progressively more alive thanks to their interference on it, thanks to them helping the villagers, thanks to them being the players that they are. If you want more conflict, just add the pillagers as well.

Eventually, Steve and Alex have an argument about their points of view. They both want to know what's going on, but their way of doing things are different, and they care a LOT about each other, they're best friends, but who is doing things the "right" way? I don't like the idea of them separating because that happens in way too many movies. I want to see these two stick together, but their insistence on trying to do it "correctly" ends up putting them in a lot of trouble because they can't cooperate anymore. Y'know. How people fight and argue about a "correct" way of playing the game. How we as players miss old Minecraft - or do we? Do we miss the simplicity of older times, or do we miss our childhood creativity and willigness to do whatever comes to mind?

Anyways. A good alternative to this conflict would be either Alex or Steve - I'm leaning more towards Steve - being hesitant at completing the End Portal. He doesn't want to end his "dream", he doesn't want answers or to escape this world (aka leave good memories behind), he wants to stay there, but Alex knows that they can't be like this forever, even if she wants to stay. Regardless, they eventually come to a mutual understanding, and, TOGETHER, they go and fight the Ender Dragon. They win, and then the End Poem happens.

The fight against the dragon wasn't the ending; the realization that there are, indeed, no rules to put them down, or that they HAVE to leave everything behind, is the ending. They hear the poem while sitting next to each other. The world changed because of them, and sometimes it was for the worse, and sometimes it was for the better, but it did become much kinder, and they weren't alone. They don't HAVE to be. Just like how it actually happened in the actual game, through the 15 YEARS since it started to exist, and oh my God it's been 15 years already?! Oh my God-

Anyways. Movie ends with Alex and Steve having a lighthearted argument over what to build next. Steve wants another castle, Alex says that she has amazing ideas for something she's calling a "mob farm", and "trust me, it'll make our lives SO MUCH easier". And they're just being silly, because there are no rules.

Anyways thanks for reading this post, feel free to add your own things to it! Just had to get it out of my chest.

Couples be together 20 years and end up under the mountain

Strangers have went to McDonalds and found Jesus. Some people get married after 6 months and still can’t download navigation. Point is there is no formula to eating tomatoes. Do what the alligator says. Touchdown lakers.

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

I never thought a Honda Odyssey could be so homoerotic

LMAOOO i tried to post the car fight from deadpool 3 on youtube with casual playing in the background and it immediately got copyrighted. marvel your homophobic side is showing /j

anyways here is is cause i'm not a pussy

sobs

Thinking about Astarion and his asexual swag. You canonically stop sleeping together because he wants time to come into his own. And after you finish his quest you can go meet those drow twins and he becomes really eager to try sex again. He tell you he wants to try, and he'll dart away if he gets overwhelmed. And you have right up until the moment it begins to act him if he's alright, and okay with it. And he is! He's consenting and simingly super into it. But after the act starts you notice how he disassociates. His eyes glaze and he's no longer there. Not to mention during the grave yard scene. You can have sex with him over his own grave (hot) and he takes the lead in it, which really is a great development from the first sex scene with him, where he's hardly there and you do all the work.

But. Instead of sleeping together you can ask Astarion to just. Sit. Hold each other. Cuddle! And he sounds so surprised, then delighted at you asking it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with people who choose that option with him at the grave. He's happy, consenting and eager to sleep with your character. But he's just as happy not to. He's so, so asexual. Not sex averse, clearly. But he obviously only enjoys it with you. (And maybe Halisn idk I never tried the polyam route)

-signed, your local panromantic asexual

Top 5 sharks

1. Goblin shark. He’s just so <3

2. Wobbegong. He is simply a rug your honor

3. Frilled shark. Why does he look like that

4. Saw shark. Sword. That’s all

5. Greenland shark. Man can get older than the US and I love that for him

In the aqua rium. straight up “admiring it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. The fish

General PSA's for begginer alt crafting

- superglue heats up when in contact with fiber, your craft can start smoking or even catch on fire

- you can wash clothing painted with acrylic paint in the washing machine if you turn it inside out and use the lowest temperature

- don't put painted clothes in the dryer.

- you can wash clothes with metal bits in the washing machine but use the handwashing setting, dry the metal bits with a paper towel before hanging them to dry, and know that it WILL be loud

- synthetic dye is needed to dye synthetic fibers and requires a long time simmering in a boiling pot. This WILL stink up the house and you NEVER want to make food in that pot again

- faux leather is vinyl not leather. Get vinyl paint to paint on it

- don't use your teeth as tools, they don't regenerate. Reconstructing enamel costs a small fortune (ask me how I know.)

- when handsewing a lot through thick fabric get thin needles, it will require less force and be less taxing on your wrists. When machine sewing get a higher grade needle (~130 for jean)

- embroidery floss is overpriced and not as strong as it looks. For sewing on heavy stuff get denim thread, it will last forever

- don't feed a 60$ home sewing machine ten layers of denim before you learn how much a servicing fee costs, these things are dellicate

- spray paint is best applied from 30-40cm away, in swift movements. Putting too much or applying from too close will cause drips. You can sand them down and apply a new layer of paint AFTER they dry. Wipe the can nozzle after painting if it's messy, you don't want it to clog and become unusable

- water based markers on fabric will bleed, if not instantly then with time, alcohol markers will fade with time

- most fabric glues are machine washable up to a certain temperature. modgepodge is not waterproof, hitack is handwash only. Check the instructions

- the flatter the surface the easier hot glue will peel off. Faux leather stands no chance, fibers like yarn will hold it best, but is impossible to remove the glue from them in the future

- rivets are a thing that exists, only require a hammer to install and can be used as permanent fabric attachment

- studs, gromets and other metal junk at small fabric stores are laughably overspriced

- acetone (found in nail polish remover) will remove acrylic stains out of furniture, flooring and faux leather, if used in excess can damage the laquer. Can also be used to remove prints and glue off of plastic (do a small test before commiting, might melt the plastic it it's grade is low)

- residue from stickers (and k-tape) can be removed with oil

- acrylic stains cannot be removed out of clothing or carpet so protect your area before painting and don't wear clothes you care about

- if your thread keeps getting tangled or snagging while handsewing try waxing it

- you can lock in screw-in spikes with screw lock glue if you're scared of them falling off because they unscrew

- you can add washers to screw-in spikes if you're scared of them falling through flimsy fabric or too big of a hole

- if you're making anything out of soda cans have a metal file on hand, they are deceptively sharp and will hurt you and rip through fabric you're installing them in

- bleach can be found in mold killing spray (don't touch that shit with bare hands. chemical burn.)

- fabric paints are no different from slightly dilluted acrylic. You can make it yourself by adding a bit of fabric softener to acrylic or honestly even water

- if you are setting anything with an iron use parchment paper or a pressing cloth to pervent your stuff from sticking to your iron and ruining it

- if you want a safety pin somewhere permanently pinch it shut with pliers

- as much as you can, avoid putting glue on clothing, it makes it really hard to change your decisions later on and upcycle the project in the future

- kiss your friends