Didnt Lose As Much As I Hoped From Being Sick. I Need Some Motivation, I Guess.

I want collar bones like this.

Pinterest

Where are all my adult anas?

It's a different world stepping into Eds shoes again half way through life.

I don't have to worry about my parents getting mad at me

I don't have to worry about my school teachers getting mad at me

I don't have the typical teenage drama that spurred this mentality shift

I remember Ed being a call a shout for help just to be seen and cared for as a teenager. But now no one sees me, I have no watchful eyes on me. No one whispering under their breath, no parents staring at me across the dinner table as I play with a half eaten plate, no boy trouble or pubescent drama fueled by hormonal rage and indifference. I'm not doing this to impress the boy I like or try to fit in with the popular kids.

I am invisible

Except from myself.

I'm in a strange state of visible translucency. I tell people I'm fasting and they believe me, I tell people I'm too tired to come meet them for dinner they believe me.

Fuck, even my live out partner whose been here for the last 3 days who I have said the words 4norexi4 to and who has watched me consume nothing but tea for 3 days doesn't question my choices.

How different a world it is when you're seen but not seen. I am validated but I remain a shadow.

The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts. This is normal, and it is insane.

“Problem” means that you are dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that you are unconsciously making it part of your sense of self.

You become so overwhelmed by your life situation that you lose your sense of life, of Being. Or you are carrying in your mind the insane burden of a hundred things that you will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing your attention on the one thing that you can do now.

Eckhart Tolle

When I say "connect with nature" I don't just mean the aesthetic forests with deer and beautiful flowers.

I mean the weeds growing through concrete, the fungus that grows on the rotten shed, the nettles that always seem to return and the scary, spindly cellar spider in the corner of the bathroom.

Nature is not always pretty or magical - the pigeons and seagulls you swat at are nature too, the wasps and flies that hover by your meals are animals too, store-bought strawberries and the leaves that fall from your neighbour's tree are not all that different from the Giant Sequoias and it's seeds.

If you want to connect and understand nature, I mean *really* connect to it, in it's entirety, you have to seek out and learn about the ugly, scary and mundane things as well. You don't have to like it, just don't forget that it's there.

I was up all night in the bathroom and didn't get much sleep. BUT im down 4 lbs. So...worth it? i know as soon as i eat something or drink water, though, that'll change. Should i fast another day?

to rewild your witchcraft

walk barefoot on stones in shallow streams.

talk to the wind and let it carry away your regrets.

forage for wildflowers to place on your altar, press in thrifted books, or give to loved ones —be careful when identifying

watch sunrises and sunsets. wake up before the sun. bare witness to the painted sky.

spend hours in the woods among the wild. take long long walks or sit still and watch the world.

talk to plants and listen to them. make friends.

get field guides to trees, plants, birds, etc. that are native to your area. learn which are which. bookmark pages that you recognize or want to find.

sing back to the robins. caw back to the crows.

journal by firelight and feel the flame burn your worries away.

gather snow and bring a bowl inside. talk to it and tell it your worries. your fears. let it melt, transmuting your stress and worries into healing nourishment. bring it outside and water the soil. see how things can be changed.

dance. run. move your body to sweat, if this is something you can do

collect stones from the river and try to find the best ones. keep them in your pocket. hold onto them to remember that you’re an animal.

go to a lake and float. feel the water carry you. lifting you from your stress. bring a vial and collect some for spellwork.

make a necklace out of an acorn and thread.

stand in the rain. dance in it. lay down in the grass and let it pour. let it wash fears away, transform doubt to hope. start anew.

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

10 tips for casual elegance ⋆｡𖦹 °✩

Reading. Reading. Reading. Being well-read is so valuable!! Get cosy, pick up a Jane Austen, Emily Brontë, or maybe a Charles Dickens and spend some of your free time indulging in literature. <3

Soft-spoken and kind expressions. No one likes being around rude people. Being a bitch doesn’t make you look confident. Instead, be kind, make conversation, pay attention, engage, etc… trust me.

Dainty jewellery. Find some high-quality signature pieces.

Think before you speak. Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts so you can speak confidently and with intent without stumbling over your words!! <3 

Quality over quantity. Stop buying large amounts of cheap clothing; instead, save up and invest in higher-quality pieces that will actually last you. :)

Practice your handwriting. Having pretty and neat handwriting is a lovely little detail; extra points if you write in cursive. ;)

Drop the tiktok slag. “sticking out your gyat for the rizzler”… just stop, please.

Keep to yourself. Small circle, no bragging, gossips only with the closest, keep your plans to yourself.

Watch your posture. Straighten that back, honey. I see you. :))

Manicured nails. I do mine every two weeks. Almond-shaped, always dark red. <3

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! ♡ ₊ ⊹

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

I think i pulled a hamstring doing yoga this morning. fuck. I have to lose progress or push through adn hope it doesnt get worse.

I need to find a weight loss buddy! this sounds like great motivation

Losing weight with a friend is so motivating.

Love you, but I’m not letting you get skinnier than me bitch☺️

hunger sc4le

painfully hungry: hunger pains, dizzy, feeling ill

very hungry: could eat anything, might binge

mildly hungry: strong signs of hunger, a little dizzy

hungry: 1st signs, stomach growling

neutral: emtpy not hungry or full, content

comfortably satisfied: hunger has been satisfied

very satisfied: hunger has been satisfied a little too well, full

beyond satisfied: starting to feel sick but manageable

uncomfortably over stuffed: feelings of guilt, heavy feeling, a bit nauseous, food coma

extremely stuffed: could throw up, bloated, feels heavy, sluggish, can't look at food

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the hunger scale, knowing this can hep you read your body. I personally try to stay 3-6. This helps keep me with my from b1ng1ng/ overe4ting.

keepingn track of your feelings and emotions before and after you e4t is also helpful, so you can find patterns in your eating behaviors like:

(before) am i actually hungry?

(before) what is my hunger scale?

(before) am i sad?

(before) am i stressed?

(before) am i happy?

(before) am i angry?

(after) how much did i eat?

(after) what is my hunger scale now?

(after) how do i feell now?

stay safe loves xox