Lily Never Really Approved Of Sirius And Marlene (in This Au They Weren’t High School Friends)

A post-Azkaban 90s hot dad Sirius just because.

propaganda i AM falling for:

multishipping

day 27 - you don’t understand - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest

“it’s not that simple,” said marlene.

they weren’t exactly fighting, but it felt strangely similar.

“i don’t get it. a few months ago you weren’t speaking to me cause you thought i was taking you for granted, that i was using you somehow, while i thought we were on the same fucking boat, mind you.” sirius paused, taking a second to compose himself before continuing. “so we talked through it and fixed things or so i thought, cause how in the hell are we in the same situation again, marls?” he wasn’t exactly desperate, but exasperated more like.

marlene could barely stand to watch him in the eyes, so she was grateful they were on the move again.

“it’s not the same, not at all” she replied.

“no, you’re right. you’re right it’s not. it’s worse. cause this time i know you want to be with me much as i want to be with you and yet you flinch every time i breath near you.” sirius was on the edge of screaming, but they weren’t supposed to be making any noise, trying to sneak back into the gryffindor tower before a prefect caught them.

“i told you, it’s not that easy” she repeated for the tenth time that day, trying to keep up with his longer strides.

“you haven’t told me shit, mckinnon. why do you resist taking the easy way into this?” finally, sirius had stopped and turned to look at her.

and again, marlene wanted nothing more than to look at anything but him.

because how could she explained to him that she was terrified. frightened. even more so than the time she had finally explained to him why she felt so hurt last time he had ditched her for some other girl while expecting her to be there once he got bore.

that being a teenage witch was an entirely different thing than being a teenage wizard. and that there were layers to it as well, because sirius black wasn’t just any wizard, even if he was, according to the one and only howler walburga had ever sent him last year, the disgrace of the family.

sirius wasn’t free of them, not really. marlene had the suspicion that still, everything he did or didn’t do was a statement back to his family, whether it was on purpose or not. he couldn’t help being who he was much more than she could blame herself for falling for him.

because she had fallen for that stupid, smug faced moron. yes, moron. not that insulting him on her mind and frequently to his face had made much for her.

she had still being stupid enough to fall for the boy.

and worse than loving him? was the fact that for whatever reason, he loved her back. well, liked her back at least. enough so that he had been pushing for them to go public, to stop with all the secrecy and running around.

but she couldn’t, it scared her too much.

“are you…?” started sirius, taking a breath in. “are you done with me?” he finally asked.

marlene couldn’t be sure with all the darkness around them, but there was something akin to hurt in sirius’ eyes.

“what?” marlene mouth opened in surprise at the question, the implications of it.

“seems to me the only logical explanation”

“no, that’s not… i told you, it’s not—“

“that simple, yes, i’ve heard.” frustrated this time, sirius passed a hand through his face. they were near the entrance to the tower now. “i’ll make it easier for you then” he said and marlene knew before he said it where this was gonna end up.

she braced herself for it, cause really, what else could she do?

sirius took a while longer before speaking, as if expecting her to say or do something to stop him, but nothing came.

“alright then, we’re finish. i’m finish” and after that, he turn around, gave the password to the fat lady and marlene saw him disappear behind the portrait.

she felt her heart clenched in her chest, her whole body going cold.

trying to console herself over the fact that, at least, they wouldn’t have to explain anything to their friends, she followed him into the tower only to fall apart once she reached her bed.

who would’ve bet that she would’ve been the one to fucked it all up.

i feel like the first time i went diving into ao3 i couldn’t find, for the love of me, any blackinnon story that resonated with me.

and swear i don’t know what happened but suddenly i have like a ton of tabs open on my browser of stories about those two i want to delve into (i guess i wasn’t looking that hard after all).

the thing is i’m scared to start reading because i don’t want to feel like i might copy someone but worse than that, im scare to find something so good inside that might make me go: yep, never gonna be able to write that good. might just give up now.

does anyone relate to that feeling? 😂

it’s genuinely the reason i don’t ever write any wolfstar or dramione.

uhhh interesting, cause mostly i picture her surviving in a scenario where they win the war without losing the potters. but…

judging by the letter harry found in sirius bedroom, the mckinnon’s died near harry’s birthday. so between their death and the potters are only a few month apart and in war times there’s no much time to stop and grieve. they are only allow to feel everything and actually process what happened, what they lost, after voldemort gets wiped out.

100% marlene wouldn’t have let sirius do anything stupid. at best she saves him, at worst she joins him. she’s the witness that saves him from imprisonment (she turns to dumbledore who turn to the minister blablabla he gets a fair trial, they win).

so while they trying to help each other in their griefs, because they are so young and haven’t have enough time and space to breath, i don’t think they had fully figured out every aspects of their relationship, meaning they might no be solid enough for them to endure what it means losing everything they once cared of. harry, despite everything, still goes with the durleys for his own protection.

so yeah, i think their worst character traits come to play and they cannot reconcile who they are as individuals let alone as a couple. they care for each other, ofc. in the end i think it their only option if they ever aspired to keep on each other lives.

there are certain things that you can only ever learn on your own. only distance can make understand what happened. they do evolve. they do manage to get their heads above water. and possibly reunite somewhere in the future, maybe with the whole thing of voldemort coming back, harry being in danger. he finally gets two people who knew his parents and are able to tell him all kind of stories he longed to hear.

harry, in the end, brings them together and this time, they make it.

I have so many favorite hc for blackinnon, but my all-time favorite is Sirius having a bad feeling the night Marlene dies and telling her not to go home, to spend the night in his house, to stay together-- but Marlene thinks he is being paranoid and goes to visit her home, and ends up dying there with her family. I just love the idea that Sirius lives with the regret that only if he insisted more, maybe that wouldn't have happened.

sirius: i kissed her.

james: what?

remus: when?

peter: who?

sirius: about a month ago.

james: how am i just finding out?

remus: did she… kissed you back?

peter: who are we talking about?

remus: marlene.

sirius: yes. no. i don’t know, what does it matter?

remus: your kidding, right? tell me you’re joking.

james: how can you not know that?

peter: mckinnon?

sirius: yes, peter, how many marlene’s have you met? and no, i’m not joking. i mean, i understand how fundamental it is to know if a girl kiss you back or not, but we didn’t have time. i had to leave.

remus: you kissed her and then ran? and you wonder why she isn’t crawling back for more like the rest of them?

sirius: we were in the middle of “the plan”! james was there, he was calling me, that’s why i left.

james: how could i’ve been there when i just found out you kissed marlene?

sirius: you came after it happened.

james: so i interrupted you?

sirius: no. yes. what does it matter? i kissed her and then left. it was a busy day.

james: you don’t say…

remus: you left her cause you had to pulled a stupid prank?

james: hey, don’t take it out on “the plan”, it was brilliant!

sirius: that’s not the point, prongs.

james: right, sorry.

peter: what is the point though?

remus: the point is that sirius is a complete idiot. it amazes me how you managed to fool every girl in the castle into wanting to go out with you.

peter: except the one he wants.

sirius: thanks for that.

james: so what happened afterwards? when you saw her again, i mean.

sirius: nothing.

james: nothing?

remus: you haven’t talked to her since?

sirius: we’ve talked, just… not about that. it all has been normal, as if nothing happened.

james: are you sure you kissed and you didn’t… imagine it?

peter: oh, i’ve been there.

sirius: unlike you, peter, i don’t need to fantasize to get a girl to kiss me.

remus: don’t take it out on peter. it isn’t his fault you kissed her and then ran away.

sirius: i didn’t ran away.

james: this is getting nowhere. what are you gonna do now?

sirius: that’s what i’m asking you lot.

“kreacher lives to serve the noble house of black” same kreacher me too

STRANGERS - MINI FIC (Blackinnon)

Summary Marlene is a woman on a mission: to completely forget that Sirius Black ever touched her body (and her heart).

Read here.

This is the original idea if you're interested.

(Honestly is @siriuslyablack fault that I decided to post this mini-fic.)

lily: you know, sirius, parents are just people too

sirius: well, mine are particularly shitty people then

lily: how can you say that? they’re your parents, they made you who you are!

sirius: that’s the problem, evans. i’ve had to spend the last seven years undoing their fine job!