IM SCREAMING!!!!!

to me, the big divergence between book omens and tv omens in regards to aziraphale and crowley’s relationship is this

tv omens: 6000 years of pining, nerds who can’t communicate but everyone knows they’re in love anyway, paranoid about their respective sides finding out, fuel for a billion confession fics that are all amazing ngl

book omens: have been married since 4003 BC and get married again every couple of centuries for the sake of aesthetic, knows no one is watching them so they take every opportunity to be incredibly married-for-a-million-years in public

A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing.

me: i really would like to meet michael sheen one day...

me:

me, whispering: crowley and aziraphale aren’t in love

me:

michael sheen: YOU YOUNG LADY ARE DING DONG FUCKING WRONG

Guys, hear me out

We all joke a lot about Anthony Janthony Crowley (and I love it), but I also really like the theory that the J refers to his old name, his name as an angel.

So I researched some angels who have names beginning with J.

And I found Jophiel.

While most of his description doesn’t really fit Crowley, there is one thing that just blew my mind. 

But before I tell you, remember: The first time Aziraphale and Crowley met was on the wall of the garden of Eden. And they don’t just run into each other by accident, Crowley deliberately slithered up to the angel. 

And I thought about this a lot. Why did Crowley approach Aziraphale?  He just tempted Eve and Adam and should expect any angel to be furious with him, and even if you forget about that, he’s a demon, for god’s, for satan’s, for somebody’s sake, why is he so eager to start a conversation with an angel? And as they talk, one of the first things he brings up is Aziraphales flaming sword. It’s a little out of the blue if you ask me, why is he so interested in the sword?  Well, let me finally tell you what was so mindblowing for me about Jophiel:

Jophiel was known for carrying a flaming sword.

So why is Crowley approaching Aziraphale? Because maybe he knew that this angel was assigned the sword that used to be his.

That’s why he almost immediately brings it up, that’s the reason he wanted to meet Aziraphale, despite the risk of approaching an angel.  I also like to mention that he is rather serious and critical, when he starts questioning Aziraphale. 

Maybe he’s even afraid of how someone else might use it, after all we know that Crowley isn’t a fan of God “testing” and punishing the humans.

That’s why he is so delighted when he hears that Aziraphale actually gave it to the humans.

He’s surprised and amused here, but I can’t help but think that he is relieved as well. Because now he knows that his old sword isn’t in the hands of an angel who is eager to smite the humans.  A lot of fans think that Crowley fell in love with Aziraphale because the angel gave his sword to the humans, and if it truely belonged to Crowley in the past, it makes this moment even more meaningful.  I know it’s just a theory, but I just love how this connection would deepen their bond even further. So yeah. Anthony Jophiel Crowley. 

How strong is Aziraphale?

Let’s estimate how heavy is the rock that Aziraphale is lifting in the garden of eden’ scene. Based on the footage we have, I will approximate its shape to a trapezoidal base prism (more specifically, its base is a trapezoid rectangle).

To discover the base measurements, I will use this scene (because is the one where he is closer to the stone, minimizing camera effects)  and Mr. Sheen height (1,78m) to do some pixel measurements.

Some math later and using the fact that two edges of the rock accompanies the junction of the larger stones I managed to get the height and smaller base of the rock, but I still needed the other side and the bigger  base.

For this, I measured the angle shown. With these informations and trigonometry, I concluded these are the base’s measurements. Now, for its depth (this one was hard and probably the source of possible errors), we need some considerations. 

Based on other scenes from the wall, we can safely say that this stone does not represent its thickness. However, we can see the inside of the wall, which is made of three to five layers of pre cut blocks. 

I am assuming, now, that Aziraphale’s stone has the depth equivalent of the first outside layer that we see, since antique stone constructions don’t use mortar and the piece could fairly “break” in that spot. 

Thanks to our adorable Eve, we have a scene to make some pixel measurement using her hand as reference (an average woman hand has a length of 17,27cm) and I concluded that the stone’s length is 28cm.

Using the right volume formula, the result is V=0,03087m^3.

Now, we need to estimate its density. According to some proposed locations, the garden of eden is  in southern Mesopotamia (now Iraq). Based on the book “Ancient Mesopotamian Materials and Industries: The Archaeological Evidence”-Peter Roger Stuart Moorey, the primary construction stones of this region is limestone and gypsum. 

The density of limestone (the most probable one) is 2711kg/m^3, which results in a weight of 83,69kg for our little angel to lift.

To sum up, Aziraphale is lifting approximately 83,69kg (184,5 pounds) without using any knee technique and without even looking discomfortable. Maybe the buff angel we see in the storyboards is not so off, after all.

Casual reminder that Aziraphale is physically very strong.

My evidence is thus:

That is an effing big rock and he’s carrying it as if it’s made of cardboard. Ergo, Aziraphale looks soft, but can and will carry Crowley if he feels the urge with no visible effort.

*crowley to aziraphale: Fuck me

crowley, to gabriel: Fuck you

Crowley to uriel: Fuck you

crowley to sandalphon: Fuck you

crowley to aziraphale: You're cool

crowley to micheal: Fuck you

Crowley smiling because of Aziraphale (requested by anonymous)

The Flash + tropes

I'll take it.

Brother Francis & Nanny Ashtoreth trying to lull baby Warlock to sleep by singing Mr. Sandman in The Golden Girls style ❤️🎶✨