NEXT—> Epilogue(coming Soon)

Fetish

Rating: 🔞

Summary: Sunghoon likes being in an on again, off again relationship. It's like a game to him. It makes him feel powerful. Especially with a woman so in love with him, that she is willing to come running into his bed whenever he beckons her.

Warnings: SUNGHOON IS A TOTAL DISASTER OF A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE AT FIRST, SMUT, PETNAMES IE; PRINCESS, BABY, DARLING, ANAL PLAY, SPITTING, ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY

Notes: this is loosely based on fetish by Selena Gomez. I don't feel like proofreading yall. Please, it's not that serious. Btw this is quite possibly the most toxic thing you'll ever read lol but I just gotta get it outta my brain

Power.

It was addicting. Enchanting. She gave herself over to him without so much as a second thought. Released every coherent thought from her mind to give him her full submission. She trusted him, too much perhaps, with her body. Her love, her heart. No matter how many times he pushed her away, she always came crawling back to him, desperately in love. Ready to do any and everything to please him.

"Take it or leave it. Baby, take it or leave it. But I know you won't leave it. 'Cause I know that you need it..."

He sickened himself with the way he'd mock her.

"Back already, Doll? Can't get enough, can you? It's been how long? Two days? That's a new record. Are you that obsessed with my dick?"

Sunghoon hated himself sometimes. Because despite his actions, he really did love her. But this cat and mouse game, this torture he put her through, had become almost a form of foreplay to him. He reveled in the way she cried and begged him to come back to her. The way she fell completely apart in his absence. The longing for him in her eyes when he returned. She'd sit obediently at his feet. Naked, wet, and begging for his attention. His affection. Anything. His trapped little mouse.

His love was consuming. Unique. An experience that she knew no one else could give her. It felt like ecstasy shooting through her veins and like a noose tightening around her neck. Like warm rays of sunshine and cold, dark, thunderous clouds. She knew she could never live without it. But she also knew that love shouldn't feel like this. She tried to have more respect for herself. She needed it, actually. Especially given the news she had just discovered this morning... She tried to leave. But she could never seem to stay away. She found herself pondering over this very fact as she lay in his bed, listening to the harsh droplets of rain beating against the window.

"Come here, baby. You were gone a whole week this time. I missed you." He nuzzled his face into the crook of her bare neck, giddy with the elation of having fucked her into oblivion for his own selfish satisfaction. She was almost able to convince herself that this was a normal and healthy relationship.

"Don't wait so long next time."

Next time.

Next. Fucking. Time.

She knew what that meant. It meant he'd get bored within the next week or two and tell her it was over once again. It meant that he'd leave her there, her heart bleeding out from his emotional torment while he disappeared completely unscathed. Only to return with a pretty smile and a hard dick, enough to make her forget all of the pain he put her through.

Something snapped inside of her.

She promptly sat up, untangling herself from within his long limbs. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, bristling when she felt the length of his finger trailing down the curve of her spine.

"Oh? Have I struck a nerve, darling?" That damned condescending tone. She could hear the grin in his voice.

"There won't be a next time, Sunghoon. This is it. I'm done. I get to leave this time," She tried to keep her tone even and stern. She knew that if he heard even an inkling of wavering, he'd overpower her, turn this whole thing around and have her begging for him like the pathetic slut he made her.

She was taking his power away. Protecting her sanity and mental well-being had never been as important as it was now. He was equal parts amused and alarmed internally. Since when did she get to change the rules of the game?

"Then go."

He knew she wouldn't. Couldn't. Calling her bluff seemed like a smart idea at first. After all, they both knew how desperate she was for him. He didn't think he could lose, but as she stood up and began gathering her clothes, his hands began to shake. Could it be that he had finally pushed her just a bit too far?

"It's late, darling." She frustratedly tugged her sweatpants on, hopping on one foot as she jammed her socks on as well. "And raining. You're terrible at driving in the rain." Why was it so hard for him to ask her to stay?

"Like you care," She scoffed to herself.

She decided to forgo the bra, yanking his her hoodie over her head and storming out the room without as much as a goodbye. She was doing everything in her power to convince herself that this was it. That she didn't need him anymore. He tugged on his briefs and followed behind at a lazy pace, resting his forearms over the railing as he watched her from the top of the staircase.

He watched as she yanked his door open, heart pounding, as he anticipated her next move. She stood, seemingly frozen for what felt like an eternity. A depraved smile spread across his face as she slowly shut the door, unable to even cross the threshold. Her head thudded softly against the door as her frame shook from quiet sobs.

"I'm not surprised. I sympathize. I can't deny, your appetite. You got a fetish for my love. I push you out and you come right back..."

Just as he suspected, she was too weak, too in love, too powerless to leave. He hated how much he loved this. He took his time descending the stairs.

"I thought you said you were leaving? Change your mind?"

"Why?" She hiccuped. "Why can't you just love me the way I love you?" And why was she so weak for him? This was not the time to fall for his charms again. Life was forcing her to make a choice. But maybe she could have just one more night....

"I do love you, Darling-"

"You don't! All you do is leave me. And push me away. All the time. I have no idea where you go the majority of the time. Or who you're with. You could be out fucking who knows how many other women. And I'm just the only one dumb enough to keep crawling back to you. I'm such a fucking idiot." The feeling of his lips pressing gentle kisses into her neck made the hot tears roll down her cheeks more profusely.

"I don't appreciate you suggesting that I'm out fucking other women. Because I'm not. And you know I'm not. And again, if you're so unhappy with what I do, then leave."

"You know I can't, Sunghoon," She whimpered feeling absolutely pathetic.

"And why not? I want to hear you say it."

"Because. No matter how bad this hurts, I love you too fucking much to leave you."

"That's right, baby. Cause you love me too fuckin' much."

"Reaching your limit. Say you're reaching your limit. Going over your limit, but I know you can't quit it..."

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his long fingers hook into the waistband of her sweatpants. He eased them down her legs, along with her panties. He gripped a handful of her fat ass, before spanking her harshly.

"Get your pretty ass back up those stairs." She sniffled and wiped her tears before turning to walk back up the stairs.

"No, sweetheart. I want you to crawl for me."

That shit eating grin on his face made her want to kill him and marry him at the same time. Nevertheless, she maintained eye contact with him as she sunk to her knees and began crawling. It was degrading and humiliating and it was making her tight little cunt uncomfortably wet. She could feel his gaze on her as she crawled up the steps, his eyes drinking in her clenching anal passage and the small, gushy hole of her pussy.

"What a good girl. Crawling for me. With your pretty little holes on display, just waiting for me to use them. You look so fucking pretty, Doll." His cock twitched when he saw the way she was clenching and tightening in excitement. It felt like it took ages for them to reenter his bedroom.

"Up. Up on the bed." She scrambled to comply, lying flat on her back and spreading her legs wide for him to settle in between. But he didn't. Instead he sauntered away into his closet, only to return with three small boxes.

"What do you say.....we try something new tonight, my darling love, huh?"

"What's that?"

"Toys," The wolfish grin on his face meant trouble.

"What kind of toys?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Safe word?"

"Red."

"Good," Before she could ask any further questions he was opening up the first box and pulling out a pair of handcuffs.

He had restrained her plenty of times, so she barely raised a brow at the sight of the cuffs. He tossed the box to the side, hovering over her and raising her arms above her head. He tugged her hoodie off, leaving her naked beneath him, a familiar and welcome position for him. He intertwined their fingers, leaning down to rub his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss. He leaned back half an inch, staring deep into her eyes. For a split second she thought she could see the same love she had for him reflecting back at her in his gaze. The clinking of the cuffs closing around her wrists brought her back to reality. He placed a single chaste kiss to her lips before continuing to kiss down, stopping at her neck.

"You know, sweetheart, I really do love you." He was pressing open mouth kisses along the length of her neck, stopping when he got to that one spot that made her shiver.

"I don't want you to ever feel like I don't. Because I do. I just happen to also really enjoy our little game." His lips closed around her sensitive spot, nipping and biting to form a bruise.

He pulled back with a wet pop, continuing his trail of kisses to her chest. He took in a nipple, softly suckling, just the way she liked it as he looked up at her. Brows furrowed and lips set in a perpetual pout, she was so fucking cute it made Sunghoon sick that he had ever hurt her.

"You're so fucking cute. Spread your legs, baby. Wanna play with you." He mumbled around her tit.

She complied, the sticky wet lips of her cunt flowering open as she spread her legs wide. His fingers danced down her abdomen, causing an eruption of involuntary giggles to bubble out of her, and Sunghoon found that her giggles sounded way sweeter to his ears than her sobs. The cold tips of his fingers ghosted over the place she needed him to touch most, her aching, slick covered clit.

"Look at me, my love. I want you to watch me while I pleasure you." Her eyes were still teary when they met his.

He watched as they went hazy and unfocused, her entire body shuddering as he dragged his fingers teasingly up and down the length of her gash. Sunghoon could feel her excitement dripping down his fingers, gathering and spilling out of his palm as he pushed his middle and ring fingers into her pussy. She instinctively clenched around his digits, a whimper escaping her as she felt his fingers crook, massaging her g-spot.

"I have to tell you, honey... I don't take too kindly to you threatening to leave me," She gulped in a mixture of nerves, excitement, and anticipation.

"Let's be honest here," He continued, "You and I both know that I'm it for you."

"I mean... do you really think you'll ever be able to find another man who can touch you like this?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his fingers were abusing her g-spot like never before.

"Something about me got you hooked on my body. Take you over and under and twisted up like origami..."

She wanted to reply. To give him an attitude - no, to give him hell, but the way he was curving his fingers within her core made her brain go foggy. A funny feeling was quickly beginning to bubble up in her stomach. Like butterflies and warm kisses and also a bit like needing to pee. She opened her mouth to warm him, but all that came out was a helpless squeak. The feeling was mounting within her, overwhelming and intense. She wanted to reach out for him, to hold him as she shuddered through what she was sure was about to be a very wet orgasm only to be reminded of the cuffs around her wrist. It was all happening too quickly for her to process, her eyes falling shut and a desperate moan escaping her as he touched her with an expertise that only he possessed.

"I said look at me, slut. You're gonna watch me make this pathetic fucking pussy squirt. You're gonna cum for me again, and again, and again. And you're never gonna threaten to fucking leave me ever again. Because nobody can make you feel as good as I do."

Sunghoon's ego inflated ten fold when he felt her cunt lock tight around his fingers. His chest swelled with pride at the sight of her eyes rolling back, pussy squirting a glimmering arch of clear juices as she screamed in euphoria. He brought his other hand up to toy with her spasming clit, chuckling to himself as it made her squirt another small stream. She was shaking like a leaf, desperately closing her thighs in hopes of getting him to stop overstimulating her.

"N-no! No more, baby, please," She gasped.

"Oh, Sweetheart. We're nowhere near stopping."

He pulled his sopping fingers out of her cunt, smearing her juices across her face before forcing his fingers past her lips.

"Suck."

She complied immediately, taking his long pale fingers into the back of her throat and suckling sloppily. The sight of her plump lips wrapped around his fingers made his dick twitch, a moan escaping him as he pushed deeper into her throat.

"You gonna gag for me, pretty girl? You know how much I fucking love it when you gag," She did exactly that, throat contacting around his digits as her mouth filled with saliva.

"Mmm, just like that. Who's my good girl, baby?" His deep baritone demanded an answer.

"Me," She garbled out around his fingers, drool dripping from the side of her mouth. "I'm your good girl."

She felt a fresh wave of juices oozing out of her as he sensually slid his fingers out from her lips.

"Now that you've got my fingers good and wet, I can prep that pretty little asshole for our next toy." Her eyes grew wide at that. Sunghoon grabbed the second white box, opening it to reveal an anal plug with a cute, pink, heart-shaped crystal on the end.

"What color are we feeling, baby?"

"Y-yellow," She had never been nervous enough to say the safe word before. They had also never explored beyond fingers and the occasional tongue anally.

"Yellow? OK, sweetheart. Tell me what you're thinking. What's going on inside that pretty head?" He set the box aside in favor of soothingly massaging her thighs.

"I guess I'm just nervous."

"It's normal to be nervous when experimenting with new things. But I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do. We can stop right now and just cuddle if you want. Or we can go slow and see if we like it or not. It's up to you. So, do you want to stop, or do you feel brave enough to try?" There was no judgment in his voice. No disappointment or anger. On the contrary, his gentle tone relaxed her enough to want to try.

"Can we take it slow?"

"Of course we can, Doll. My brave girl," He kissed the inside of her thighs sweetly, his lips lingering against her warm skin. His kisses trailed inwards, eventually landing him at her soft, wet mound.

Now that he knew she was feeling a bit uneasy, he watched her like a hawk for the first sign of discomfort. He placed open mouth kisses against her smooth skin, lips moistening with her sticky juices. He reached a hand up to grip around her waist as his tongue slid down to toy with the hood of her clit. Her hips bucked into his face, still highly sensitive from orgasming twice just moments ago. The scent of her pussy seeped into his nose, making him throb within the confines of his boxers. Her taste quickly spread across each and every one of his taste buds, intoxicating him like an aphrodisiac. He sucked her swollen pink bud into his mouth, groaning as he rolled his tongue over her most sensitive spot repeatedly.

"Fuck, that feels so goood," She moaned out, hips rolling into his mouth.

Whilst she was gyrating and distracted, Sunghoon took the opportunity to push his first digit inside of her winking rim. He pulled back from her clit, spitting a messy wad of saliva onto her bud before slurping it back into his mouth. She was squirming now, head thrown back as she dug her heels into the bed.

"Fuck, please, Sunghoon. Please, baby. I-I need..."

"What do you need, love?"

"Dick." She groaned.

"What an ungrateful little whore," He couldn't hide the grin in his voice. "Here I am. On my fucking knees for you. Eating this fat, juicy little cunt just the way you like... and all you can think about is dick." He didn't miss the way her asshole fluttered around his finger as he degraded her.

"You'll get my dick when I feel you've fucking earned it."

With that said, his second finger pressed inside of her rim to join the first, and he went back to lazily lapping at her quivering bud. At this point, she was so gone that she was attempting to push her asshole further down the length of his fingers, whimpering in need.

"I feel so fucking empty, Sunghoon. Please. Need you to fill me up, baby," She whined breathily, only to be ignored.

The gentle nibbling of his teeth made her withe against his sheets, her thighs closing around his head. With her plush thighs simultaneously plugging and warming his ears, he listened to her muffled sounds, his dick feeling like a steel rod in his briefs as she called out for him over and over in a preorgasmic daze.

"I love you. Love you so fucking much," He murmured into her cunt, removing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of the plug.

Her juices were flowing copiously from her pussy, providing more than enough lube for him to begin easing the toy past her rim. She keened in pleasure, wiggling impatiently until Sunghoon gripped her sternly and held her down still. He returned to sloppily suckling at her clit as the widest part of the plug stretched her tight ass open. He pushed it all the way in, his own hips beginning to buck impatiently into the mattress at the sight of the pink crystal shining enticingly as the plug fully sank into her virgin hole.

"Shit, baby. So fucking sexy." Sunghoon was mesmerized at the sight, blindly reaching for his phone as clear beads of her arousal began to ooze and drip all over her pretty new plug.

"I'm gonna take a picture, baby. Cause this is too fucking pretty to not capture." Tears of desperation and horniness were welling up in her eyes as he spread her cunt open with his fingers to take pictures. The rattling of her cuffs as she absent-mindedly tried to free her hands broke Sunghoon out of his stupor.

"P-please?" This is what Sunghoon lived for. The desperation for him, her willingness to submit herself to him for his pleasure and his pleasure only.

"Have I earned it yet?" Oh, did she.

"I dunno, baby. You think you deserve my cock?" She had more than earned it with her trust and bravery.

"Y-yes?" She thought she might orgasm completely untouched as she watched him push his briefs down his legs and kick them to the side. He crawled back between her legs, her entire body shaking in anticipation of what was to come. He dragged her closer, the bottom of her thighs resting over the top of his as he reached for his third box.

"I think you deserve it too, my love. You've been such a good girl for me, hmm? Such a good girl, thaaaat... I'm gonna give you exactly what you've been begging for."

He leaned over her on his fists, capturing her lips in a toe-curlingly passionate kiss as he teasingly ground his length into her pulsating snatch. She stopped breathing entirely as the wide, pinkish red tip of his dick kissed her entrance. As he pushed in, she heard a small click before a buzzing noise filled her ears. With one thrust, he was bottoming out inside of her and a brand new sensation, of vibration, was surrounding her throbbing clit.

She didn't last two seconds longer.

Her back arched painfully hard, her thighs instinctively closing, which made the sensations of vibration, of Sunghoon stretching out and fucking into her hole, of the anal plug so much more intense. A tortured scream echoed off the walls, followed by pleasure filled sobbing as she writhed and bucked and rolled her hips in tandem with the waves of pleasure. She was dying, he was absolutely killing her with his perfect dick, her cunt squeezing and creaming and gripping his length as she nutted all over him.

"Fuck, yes! Nasty little cunt is fucking milking me so good. Keep creaming on my dick, baby. That shit feels so fucking good. I love you, pretty."

"L...ove.....y.....y-ou," She slurred, dick drunk out of her mind.

"I know you fuckin' do, baby. Love me so fuckin' much, huh? You want to turn around for me, Mama? Let me hit it from the back?"

"Fuck yes!" He never stopped thrusting as he unlocked the cuffs around her wrists, only pulling out long enough to flip her onto her knees and readjust her vibrator before he was pistoning away inside of her again.

The harder he fucked into her, the deeper her back arched, until she was laying on the side of her face, watching him fuck her in the mirror across the room. The sight of her fat little ass boucing and jiggling with each thrust, his throbbing shaft soaked and coated in her gooey cream was straight out of his nastiest fantasies. The pink crystal of her plug was calling out enticingly to him. He gave it an experimental tug, moaning loudly as it made her clench viciously around his dick.

"You like that, don't you, you fucking slut? Like having something up your tight little ass, don't you?" He pulled her plug out, spitting a wad of saliva onto her ass before pushing it back in and fucking her with it.

"Fuuuuuck, Sunghoon! You're gonna make me cum again!" She moaned.

"Go ahead, baby. Cum for me again. Get that pussy nice and fucking wet for me."

He could feel her walls starting to spasm around him again. He watched in awe as the arch in her back deepened impossibly further before she was rolling her hips back to meet his every thrust. With every thrust, he could feel her dripping down his balls, soaking his inner thighs. When he heard her start to whine with the onslaught of an impending orgasm, he turned her vibrator up a setting, moaning as it made her body go rigid. Sunghoon was captivated with the way her entire body froze, unable to do anything except surrender itself to him. He placed a firm hold around her waist, fucking into her with deep, slow strokes as she started to orgasm around him. It nearly knocked the wind out of him when he felt the first wet clench of her walls suckling and swallowing his dick. She was milking him, eyes rolled back in her head, fingers strangling his linens. He couldn't help but observe the way her pussy was convulsing and tightening around his cock, creating a frosty white ring around the base of his cock.

"Thank you," She whimpered brokenly.

"Shit, baby. Pussy looks so pretty cumming on my dick."

"Yeah?"

"Mhmmm. And who does this pretty little pussy belong to, Princess?"

"Pussy is all fucking your's." She was shuddering now, shaking in the aftermath of orgasm.

"Yeah? This pretty little pussy is all fucking mine? Say it again, baby," Sunghoon moaned, head rolling back onto his shoulders.

"My pretty little pussy is all your's."

He groaned in response, pulling out and repositioning her onto her back. He turned the vibrator off, chucking it to the side and bringing her ankles up to rest over his shoulders. He pushed back inside of her heat, overwhelmed by the snug fit. He rested the weight of his body on top of her, wanting to feel as close to her as possible. His deep, slow strokes resumed, stoking the fire burning in the pit of his stomach. No woman had ever showed him euphoria the way she did. And as he rode her sopping cunt, staring deeply into her eyes, he knew he was just as obsessed and in love as she was. A moan slipped out of his mouth, a shiver racking his body as he felt the mushroom head of his cock twitch and leak against her cervix.

"Open your mouth." She complied immediately, his dick stiffening even more if possible as he spat a wad of spit onto her waiting tongue. She swallowed it down, amused at his antics.

"You're so fucking nasty," He smirked.

"You love it."

"I do. I love everything about you..." He trailed off, her eyes getting that dreamy look in them as his thrust became more intense.

"Love the way you feel cumming on my dick. Love your pathetic little moans and cries. Love the way you love me."

"You got a fetish for my love..."

She tangled her manicured fingers through his dark locks, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips as the room echoed with the sounds of their fucking. This was truly Sunghoon's favorite position, not to fuck, but to make love in. She felt so warm and tight and good in this position, and he had been holding out for so long. He could reach the deepest depths of her cunt, his balls aching at the feeling of his tip drooling precum all over her cervix. He could touch her all over, his hands occupying themselves with both a handful of ass and a handful of her bouncing tit. He could lean down and kiss her (or spit in her mouth). But most importantly, he could see her. Stretched out across his bed. So submissive, so good. Just for him, only for him. Letting him take her over and over again. In whatever position he wanted, as many times as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Because she was his woman.

The thought alone was enough to send him into orbit.

"I'm gonna cum," He grunted. "W-...where?"

"Cum inside me, baby." He laced his fingers through hers, as her other unoccupied hand continued to tug and stroke through his hair.

"Shit. I love you so fucking much."

She couldn't ever recall Sunghoon repeating the phrase this often before. But there was sincerity in his voice. And an urgency, a desperation in his love making that made her feel for once that maybe he did love her the same way she loved him.

She was enthralled as his eyes grew glassy and unfocused, his breathing deepening as pitiful cries escaped his pink lips. And suddenly, his hips began to rut into her shakily, losing any and all sense of rhythm as he impatiently approached his climax. She felt his hard cock pulsating within her before his head dropped forward onto her chest and he whined out in a long, weak moan. Warmth flooded within her as he erupted, his aching, swollen dickhead painting her cervix white with his cum as he shook powerlessly in her arms. She yanked his head back so she could watch his face contort in brain numbing pleasure, his fucked out expression stroking her ego. She ground her hips up into his pelvis, delighted to see his eyes rolling back in his head, mouth falling open in a silent scream of ecstasy in response as he suffered through the peak of his climax. She fucked him through it, gently rocking against him to help him come down from his high.

She stroked a hand up and down his sweaty, shivering back as he panted, limp and exhausted. Laying on her chest made him feel relaxed and lethargic in the aftermath of the single greatest orgasm his body had ever been made to endure. He laid there until he could feel his legs again, shuddering as he pulled out of her. He placed a tender kiss on her lips before walking to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her up. When he returned with the rag, he was surprised to see her already up and tugging on her hoodie once again.

"Why are you getting dressed? You didn't even let me clean you up, Pretty."

"Sunghoon. I um... I'm not going to do the whole aftercare thing tonight. I meant what I said earlier. This is it for us. So I'm just gonna leave."

"What are you talking about? Leave for what? Just spend the night with me, babe."

"No, Sunghoon. I can't. This relationship was doomed from the start. And starting right now, I have to move on."

"Is this about what I said earlier? About you not staying away so long next time? Because if that's what's got you so upset, then I'm really sorry. It was a dumb thing to say. But it's hardly worth losing our relationship over." He could feel his pulse staring to race as she calmly stood up and began dressing.

"It's about more than just that, Sunghoon. I'm... it's just time for me to grow up and move on."

"But I love you. You can't just leave me."

"It doesn't feel good, does it?" She couldn't help but snap.

"So this is just you trying to get back at me?"

"No, Sunghoon! Just drop it, and let me leave." She gathered the remainder of her things and headed towards the door only to be stopped by a hand around her wrist.

"No! You say it's time to grow up, so we're going to talk this out. Like adults."

"Sunghoon, just let me-"

"No, you're not fucking leave me."

"Sunghoon-"

"Just stop it, you're not going anywhere!"

"I have to-"

"NO!"

"I'm pregnant! Ok?!"

The only sound in the room was the raindrops hitting the window. The now cold rag slipped from Sunghoon's fingers, hitting the hardwood floor with a wet splat.

"P-pregnant?"

"Yes."

"... For real?"

"Mhmm."

"Like... with a baby?"

"Yes, dumbass." Sunghoon ran a shaky hand through his sex tangled bed head.

"When did you find out?"

"I had a doctor's appointment this morning."

"I missed our baby's first appointment?!"

"No, it was just a regular check-up, and I had some blood work done. That's how they found out that I'm carrying."

"Do you know how far along you are?" His heart was beating so loud he wondered if she could hear it.

"Six weeks."

"...We're having a baby?" He whispered almost as if he was too afraid to say it out loud.

"No, I'm having a baby."

"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm pregnant, I'm going to have this baby, and I'm going to raise it. Alone."

"And where the fuck did you get the idea that I'd ever let that happen?"

"Sunghoon, I love you. But you're not dependable. Kids need stability. And I refuse to let my baby see you come in and out of our lives like a revolving door for your entertainment."

"Our baby."

"What are you not understanding?"

"Our. Baby. Whether you like it or not, that baby is just as much mine as it is yours. So you don't get to just cut me out of the picture. I know I haven't been the most... stable. But I'm begging you to give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I can be a father to our baby."

"Sunghoon.... I don't know."

"Please," He pulled her closer to him before slowly letting his hand creep down to caress her stomach.

"Give me a chance. It's not like we aren't in love with each other, or we're strangers or something. It wasn't intentional, but we made this baby together out of love. And he or she deserves to grow up with both parents. Under one roof. As a family."

His eyes were watery with emotion. And again, Sunghoon hated himself for making her feel like she needed to protect herself, to protect his own baby from him. He felt like he was finally being forced to deal with the consequences of his actions.

"I don't want you to be with me out of obligation. Just because I'm pregnant. I want you to be with me because you love me."

"Do you think I'd be begging for a second chance if I didn't love you? Do you think I'd be pleading with you not to leave? You know I love you. And you're carrying my child. That only makes me love you more. Knowing that there's a little piece of me, of us, growing inside of you... I understand why your first instinct was to leave. I know you want to protect our baby. But I promise you, if you give me just one more chance, I'll show you how dependable I can be. I'll stick by your side forever. I promise. I'm gonna mess up. I'll probably say some dumb stuff every now and then. We'll piss each other off and argue occasionally. But I'll never leave you. Neither one of you. Ever again." She had never seen such determination in his eyes. Everything in her was screaming at her to leave. To create distance. To run away before he could.

"Let's just try, baby. Please?" The tears that were shimmering in his eyes began to spill over onto his pale cheeks.

In a flash, she imagined how her life would play out if she said no. It was a safer route to take. Looking at him, though, in this moment, in his bedroom while he fought for his family with tears in his eyes, she knew she couldn't leave.

"Promise? Promise you won't leave us?" As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she could see the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders.

"I promise!"

"....OK, Hoon. Let's just try."

He enveloped her in his arms tightly, molding his lips to hers like he'd never get the chance to do it again. And as he dragged her back to bed, a protective hand resting on her stomach, on their baby, she knew she made the right choice.

Don't kill me yall🫢🫣. I'll go back and edit later. Also the end is kinda blah but its whatevs. Anyways, feedback is appreciated. Toodles 🫡

I will kms this is too cute, it's 5:13 am rn omd 😭

୨ৎ — With Love, Sunghoon

pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x fem-reader

synopsis: Almost is sometimes never enough, Sunghoon needed a tutor and Y/N needed the extra credit. What happens when two failed lovers meet again after years of running away and misunderstandings?

w/c: 23.3K :o

tags: teacher x teacher, first love, baby baby (?) angst, sunghoon kinda a dick, then he turns into a loser LOL, lots of gussy gussy fluff at the end, niki and jungwon cameo as hoon’s gremlins. And yes hoon blonde obsession.

a/n: oh em gee, its been MONTHS. been so busy with irl stuff and other responsibilities I've neglected dazed-hee </3. BUT pls expect more content to come out soon because I am stressed and writing helps me destress HAHAHA. ending is not how I would like but I honestly did not want to scrap this fic and start a new ): this is little fic was supposed to be a present for my hoon girlie @hoonvrs AND IT STILL IS! i hope everyone enjoys and pls lml what you think! ALSO With Love Series going on mini break bc I have so so many ideas I want to write about I can't be limited to this series ASDAKJSD

likes & reblogs are encouraged thank you!!

“So class I’m happy to say you don’t have any homework this weekend.” You sighed, placing all the files you went through from the past hour on the side as the class cheered lightly,  some even clapping at the thought of a free weekend mixed with fun and more studying.. 

“But—” you interjected, biting back a small smile as some of them instantly stopped cheering; some even holding in groans while you pointed at the calendar on the wall. 

“Don’t be surprised if you walk into class Monday with a quiz on your desk about cell biology and functions.” You hastily announced, a slight grin on your face finally hearing the groans and complaints travel through the room, quickly turning around you began cleaning the whiteboard while bidding goodbye to your students. 

“Hey be happy it wasn’t a real pop quiz— and I told you what unit it’s going to be about!” You reasoned out loud in the hall, smiling at some of the girls in your class who argued it was guys in the back doing most of the complaining. Compared to the other teachers you felt like you were quite lenient with the students, making class and learning as interactive and fun as possible. Being one of the youngest teachers you made it your job to sympathize with the students since you were in their position not that long ago. 

“Ah wait–” You called out, grabbing onto two sneaky individuals hiding behind the girls on the way out. 

“I need you two to stay back for an hour of tutoring starting next week. If you don’t you won’t have a passing grade for eligibility.” You warned. 

“Ms.Kim please our coach moved practice to after school hours and he’s been really strict about being there.” the boy plead, his eyes glistening brightly looking down at you. 

“Well Jungwon maybe we shouldn’t have failed the last unit exam and for you Niki— start doing corrections you’ll earn half your points back.” You nodded toward the other who was sulking softly. You knew the pressures and tight schedules student-athletes went through and you honestly felt bad, the two weren’t even doing terribly you just wanted to make sure they had leisure with their grades when it came to eligibility check. 

“What about I have a talk with your Coach and have him push back practice by an hour or something, I’m only doing this for the two of you; trust me I know what it feels like.” You sighed patting their shoulders as they nodded to your offer. Heading to the faculty room you were greeted by other teachers finishing up for the day, you weren’t sure who this new coach was but practice usually took place early mornings. Partly so it doesn’t run into afterschool activities and studying sessions but also because the weather was more favorable most of the time. 

“Ms.Kim, how are you today?” Your boss greeted you by the printer, greeting her back with a smile you saw the way some of the female coworkers were actively glancing out the window, chatting amongst each other with shy grins painting their lips. 

“I’m doing good Mrs.Go, just printing out a few practice sheets for tutoring starting soon.” 

The older lady nodded at you with a warm smile, when you first got the job a little over two years ago Ms.Go stepped up as the new principal from her vice position. You’ve always felt welcomed because of her and she always had nothing but good and encouraging things to say to and about you.

“I’m glad you’ve found your pacing with the students, I get nothing but compliments from them and their parents— keep up the good work.” she rubbed your shoulder softly bidding you goodbye. Shaking out a small sigh you stood tapping the table as the beeping of the machine printed what felt like endless amounts of pages.

“Oh my god he’s so good-looking.” 

“Did you see when he was running with the students earlier?”

“I heard he’s the new literature teacher who’s also coaching the basketball team.” 

Gathering your things you acknowledged your coworker's excited expressions; curiosity overtaking as you made your way to the window to see what all the fuss was about, all you could see were the student-athletes running back inside towards the gym. A flash of blonde catches your eye before forcing yourself to peel away knowing there were lots to do and students to expect soon.

Seeing a few students greet you on the way back to class had your shoulders high in pride at the familiar faces of kids you’ve tutored before. Many of them respected you as a teacher but also saw you as a friend— well most. 

“Ms.Kim!” turning at the group of boys your brow raised as a few of them offered to help carry the stack of papers you were gripping back to class, their shoulders bumping against each other to gain your attention which only prompted a short scoff under your breath. Being one of the younger teachers you also noticed the uncanny amount of attention you received from students, girls asking for advice about dating and what to look forward to in college while the boys were being— well boys.

“Coach is looking for you guys, something about wanting to run another lap.” cutting between them you were glad Jungwon showed up when he did, brows furrowed slightly at some of them murmuring lowly to each other. After everyone left the boy greeted you with a dimple, one you saw frequently in class from what you recalled.

“I talked to Coach and I don’t think he’s willing to push back practice.” You heard him sigh, placing the stack of paper he insisted to carry on your desk as you pushed your fingers into the back of your dress pants.

“Well I would love to talk to your Coach, he knows if you and Niki don’t qualify for eligibility you won’t be able to play till the next check, right?” Your voice confused with shock seeing the boy nod with a conflicted expression on his face. 

“Where’s Niki?” You asked softly sitting at your desk checking the time on your wristwatch knowing students were going to show up anytime soon. 

“He’s distracting Coach Park while I’m here.” 

“Well tell Coach Park, when he’s done with practice to come to my class.” You ordered him, filing some notes in the file cabinet before standing up heading to the lab stations. With a nod Jungwon left swiftly, his sneakers squeaking against the tile floor as you leaned against the table, appreciating the evening sun seeping through the tall windows lining the class walls with your eyes closed. 

A knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts realizing some of your students came for their quick tutoring session. “Alright, should we get started?” You greeted them, a feeling of sentiment washed over you. 

It was bittersweet in a way. 

“Ms.Kim we’re almost done with the worksheet!” 

“Okay once you’re done just leave it on my desk and you three are free to leave.” You nodded, going back to the rows of beakers and test tubes you were prepping for the planned lab on Monday. You’ve always loved science, being a biochemist double major in college, you’re practically a pro at handling bunsen burners and microscopes. You weren’t sure when you decided to be a teacher and to be completely fair, you’ve never thought to be one when asked about your future endeavors as a kid.

But maybe it was from the multiple classmates you’ve tutored as a side job and extra credit, you found you had a talent for working with others and teaching them what you’ve mastered best. The satisfaction of seeing others click with the information and concepts you present always made you proud, proud that they could grasp complex ideas, and proud that you were an influence and part of the reason why. Nostalgia overtook your thoughts recalling back about your college days, from friends to strangers and those in between. 

Brushing your fingers against the clear tubes absentmindedly, a bitter smile took your lips— almosts were never enough sometimes. It was nearing five in the evening and you were finishing the final touches to each station carefully, making sure all the lab equipment was properly placed for the students, by now the ones who came have left and you were here alone in your thoughts.

“I heard you wanted to speak with me about something?” You heard someone call from the door, slightly muffled as you were quickly packing up the mess you made from preparations into the table cabinets below. 

“Yeah actually, it’s about your afternoon practices—” You replied slightly vexed, none of the other coaches have changed their practice hours so you weren’t sure why the basketball team in particular did. 

“I won’t be able to change or push back practice since that’s the only time that works for us.” huffing out a sigh you quickly set the extra box of test tubes back into their protective cases in the lower cabinets. 

“Okay well, you know if your athletes don’t qualify for eligibility they won’t be able to play correct?” confused as to why you weren’t getting a response you stood up with a huff. Your eyes widened while your words jumbled to get out, realizing who the new coach was and who you were talking to. 

It’s been a while, years to be exact since you last had eyes on him. He was blonde now, and it fit him well; just as tall as you remember taking in the way he was leaning against the door frame with his hands shoved in track pants. His slightly raised shoulders and wide eyes told you he was just as surprised to see you, a stoic expression overtaking his shocked one when he straightened his posture. 

He was exactly the same as he was before, but so different. 

“Sunghoon?” his name became foreign to you over time, like a bitter fruit you bit into and wished to forget. A wave of emotions swirled across your face you were sure of it. His eyes flickered around the classroom and a small sigh could be heard through the thick tension that had formed between you two. 

“Looks like you’re doing well,” he mumbled jingling the keys in his pockets as he watched your frown deepen further. 

“I’m not changing practice times Y/N, don’t ask me again.” his voice was firm and cold, you saw the way his eyes flickered over you once more before turning to leave.

After your brief conversation with Sunghoon, he left you standing there questioning if what just happened— really happened. With both of your hands gripping the table behind you, the sound of him making his way through the hall confirmed that it was indeed Sunghoon.

Park Sunghoon whom you fell in love with in college, Park Sunghoon who also broke your heart as well. It was him. He was the new coach that is already causing trouble the same way he did back then in your mundane life.

“Alright and the enzymes only react during the active site, get it?” Tapping your pen against the desk you sighed out of relief seeing your classmate nod enthusiastically finally understanding the unit concepts from the past lectures. It was warm, with the University library lined with large windows you wouldn’t be able to get a good nap here without the bright sun bearing down on your back, that’s why people nap in the reserved study rooms instead.

“So if the enzymes are heated or enter a different pH environment what happens then?” You asked carefully— there was no hope for the kid but for extra credit, your professor offered you to tutor students. You could only hope a higher being blessed you with the ability to input knowledge into these empty vessels because fuck; how were people this bad at studying? 

“They become unnaturalized?” She answered unconfidently, eyes lighting up seeing how your head tilted giving her a slight sound of approval. It was wrong but at least it was close.

“Close, denatured,” closing the workbook you nodded slightly acknowledging this was a lot better than when you first began tutoring her. “Keep studying like this and you’ll be caught up before the final in no time.” You smiled softly as she quickly packed her things. 

Oh, the things you did for extra credit, from extra lab hours to volunteer research assignments you needed every single point you could gain to balance out the fact you had no extracurricular and social hours to back up your pretty GPA. 

“Thank you Y/N it feels so good to finally understand what’s going on in class.” she gratefully thanked you, gripping the extra workbooks you recommended to her enthusiastically. With a smile, you bid her goodbye before peering back down at your laptop to see what you had next— a meeting with your professor. 

“I must say the classmates you are tutoring have been improving quite a bit, slowly but surely.” Your professor said looking at his notes with a satisfied nod. It was true, it started with your friend Naeun who was failing before despite passing with flying colors now. You now tutored kids who weren’t even from your own lecture, some in different years even.

 “If there are any other students you need me to tutor I’ll be more than happy to take them during my free time.” You added quickly, rubbing your palms against your jeans to mask the shake in your leg from his peripheral. 

Before he could answer, a knock on the door caused you to turn as a rather tall boy came in with a guitar case in one hand and a packet of papers in the other. With his hair messily put together he looked like every other boy in your class, but the moment his eyes met yours you quickly shifted back into your seat; trying your best to avoid the heat running through your face. 

“Professor Lee I’m here to talk about my exam..” he announced demeaningly. You could only watch as the older male stood up, pulling the boy to sit beside you in the empty seat while you shifted looking at the grade on his recent exam. 

Yikes.

“Sunghoon this is Y/N she’s in your lecture and also one of my tutors.” you reluctantly nodded toward him in acknowledgment as he did the same. “She’s one of my best students and I’m asking her to tutor you in hopes it’ll bring your grade up so you can pass the class.” With wide eyes, you glanced at Sunghoon, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck assuming he was weighing out the options he didn’t really have. 

“And you know you need to pass the class to graduate Sunghoon, I advise you to do your best with Y/N or you’ll run into big trouble once finals come.” He sighed, gathering his things while glancing at the clock on the wall. While bidding the two of you goodbye, you faintly heard him whisper to the boy a small ‘be nice to her’ before the door closed shut. Picking up your bag you pulled your phone out looking at your rather busy calendar for an open spot in your schedule. 

“I’m free every Tuesday Wednesday and Friday in the late afternoon, just pick two days and let me know before next week. Or you could tell Professor Lee and he’ll relay the info to me.” you could only give him a shy smile despite him sitting there blinking at you. With an awkward nod, you gave him one last forced grin before making your way toward the door.

“Wait!” His sudden exclamation startled you slightly, a quizzical stare greeting him while your fingers were already grazing the cold door handle.

“Where are you going right now?” He briefly asked, adjusting the grip on his guitar case while stuffing his exam back into his backpack. 

“The library.”

“I’ll come with.” 

Your solo studying session today suddenly turned into a plus one, watching as your new friend pull his things from his bag, you failed to hold the slight snicker earning his curiosity. Shrugging at his raised brow, you opened your laptop pulling out a practice workbook with a smile.

“Could’ve fooled me with that study setup if you never told me you were failing Biology.” You nodded at his set of pencils and eraser neatly placed in front of him, his frown turning into a grin knowing you were right, unfortunately. 

“Listen I’m good at everything but science, it might be hard to imagine but I’m a TA for my English professor.” he boasted proudly, sitting up in his seat as you smiled humming in acknowledgment. 

“Oh and to answer your question from earlier, I’m able to do Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I just finished an important project so I should be available a lot more often now.” He politely added, taking in your gaze as you nodded slowly before turning back to your workbook. 

After an hour of studying you noticed Sunghoon was actually quite diligent, not getting distracted by his phone nor did he daze into space even you’d catch yourself doing at times. If this was your conclusion then you weren’t sure where his problem was that had him failing— terribly. 

“That’s wrong.” You softly stopped him, pointing at the question he’s been working on for the past couple of minutes after seeing the frustrated expression overtake his face promptly. 

“I’m not good with genetics, I get the whole structure and basic….stuff, but once it gets to this I get lost.” He admitted running his fingers through his hair. Peeling your gaze away from the mole beside his jaw you coughed before opening up your notes.

“From what I see you're making it way more difficult than it should be—” You started, pulling your chair beside his before sliding your tablet across the table with a holistic breakdown of the concepts you took notes on for the genetics unit. After a few minutes of explaining and correcting his question, you allowed him to scroll through your notes a little longer, grinning at the fascinated look in his eye as he complimented the way your notes looked. 

“I can send you the notes later if you like them that much.” You chuckled, scooting your chair back after feeling his elbow graze your own, a little too close you figured. Hearing no response your eyes naturally found his again realizing he was looking between you and the space now in between. Once he realized you were waiting for a response, he pushed your tablet toward you quickly, his pen tapping against the table softly with a nod.

“Please if you don’t mind, I don’t know how you have time to do them like that they’re really nice.” He complimented, checking his phone before handing it to you with the contacts app opened. “Well I don’t do much of anything else so I have a lot of time to spare.” You snickered. 

“Oh come on, nothing? Like nothing seriously?” He asked you again, holding back a wide grin noting your name displayed on the screen along with your number. “Why do I look like I do a lot of stuff?” You questioned, his nod surprising you somewhat. 

“Yeah I mean, our classmates always say how fun and nice you are to be around so I just assumed,” he explained truthfully, from what he’s heard, a lot of your classmates had nothing but good things to say to you. 

“I only go out with a few of my close friends from time to time but seeing that you pretty much—”  glancing at his duffle bag you assumed was for whatever club he was a part of and his guitar case beside it; you could tell he was a busy man. “ —you literally do everything, it could look like not much for you.” You smiled genuinely. 

“Well trust me when I say I rather have a few things to focus on over this,” he emphasized, nodding toward all his things, earning a wholehearted laugh from you quickly disagreeing. 

“Yeah? I really wish I could put myself out there like that, I’m tutoring to make up for the fact I don’t do anything else but study.” You shook your head, playing with the pen between your fingers with your gaze set on the sunlighy shining on the table.

“Well I wish I didn’t do all of–”

“Don’t lie.” You cut him off, turning towards him quickly causing the both of you to laugh softly, your lips turned into a grin as you forcefully peeled your gaze away from his dimple that caught your eye. Sunghoon could only admire you from the side, smugly grinning at how you’d get so shy from meeting his gaze while your fingers busied themselves playing with the pages from your notebook. 

He understood why all the guys on the team wanted you as their tutor, what was better than a pretty girl spending her evening with you in the library or cafe? Your cute flustered expression when he smiled at you or when he caught you smiling back, it all made sense to him. Sunghoon made a mental note to inform the others you weren’t looking for any more tutees, and he only hoped they will believe him.

When he was called into the professor's office he really thought it was the end for him, with graduation around the corner and a science class holding him back from sweet victory; nervousness was an understatement. Shitting his pants would’ve been a better way to describe the feeling pooling in his gut when he saw a big red 43 plastered on the recent unit exam. But when he saw your small confused face peering up at him he knew he lucked out this time. 

You were known to take kids who look like they don’t have a single thought behind their eyes and tutor them into high B passing students. He was sure anyone else tutoring him would’ve helped with an extra brain processing his mistakes, but he was glad it was you. 

Third week of tutoring and you noted Sunghoon worked hard— and worked harder when he knew there was a reward for his accomplishments. A coffee stop before class or a meal before practice, you kept your promise and rewarded him for the commitment you knew he put in. What started as a reward for his improving quiz grades turned into what you felt was a normalized occurrence.

‘Wanna grab a meal from the cafeteria? I’ll drop you off after.’

‘Let’s meet before class for a bit, I want to see you.’

‘Are you free later today? We should go watch that new movie you were talking about.’

He explained it was just the athlete in him addicted to the dopamine he got when he succeeded, specifically doing good in class; but you argued it was just a way for him to trick you to agree into doing things he wanted. Hell he didn’t even know how dopamine worked up until last week’s study session. 

“Sunghoon you can literally ask for anything else, I’ll even buy you dinner again just not this.” You sighed, holding up the singular ticket he presented you as his wish for earning a 90 on his exam; the highest he’s received yet. 

“Y/N you said I can ask for whatever I wanted.” he pointed out, tapping the back of your seat with his fingers watching you groan at the thought of attending this weekend. 

“This is seriously what you want?” watching his court nod your lips pressed in a tight line before sighing in defeat. A promise is a promise, and you were one to keep promises. 

“Fine just please study this well for the next exam coming up.” You didn’t earn a response, but the cheeky dimple and upturned brows told you that if studying well meant pulling you to do things like attending his game to support him— Sunghoon promised to turn into Einstien. He’ll be reborn as Issac Newton himself if that’s what it took. 

“Oh and—” turning back to him your eyes widened slightly feeling his fingers graze against your back, a simple action you still haven’t grown used to lately. “Sunghoon, no.” you refused shaking your head wholeheartedly, seeing him pull out a jersey from his duffle bag with a smirk on his face as he laughed to himself.

“You didn’t even let me explain.” He reasoned, eyes twinkling watching you continue to disagree, mumbling about how ridiculous this was since you already agreed to even go in the first place. 

“Y/N how weird would it be to show up and not show off who you’re supporting?” He hummed, pushing his jersey from last year over to your side. “Hoon I think people are gonna think it’s weird regardless.” You whispered, knowing the type of people he was around would already view it odd you came in the first place. Sunghoon was someone you thought you’d only admire from afar, his likable personality and seemingly good looks made a memorable first impression not only on you but apparently to every living— breathing eligible girl on campus.

The looks and whispers anyone with a working brain would dread were to be expected if you walked into that stadium with his jersey, you were already getting looks from simply walking with him to class. 

Sunghoon was just someone you weren’t supposed to mingle with, as crazy as it sounded; opposites weren’t supposed to attract. There were plenty of girls in his social circle you knew were interested in him— it just felt wrong, scary even that you and Sunghoon were this close. 

“Hey…don’t think like that,” He reassured you, brushing a few strands of hair away while you stared at him, admiring the pinches of electricity shifting across your cheek when his fingertips grazed against your skin. In the many weeks you and Sunghoon have hung out, you realized he was a lot different from what you assumed. 

He was sensitive; you concluded that when he received his first quiz two weeks after your first session. His grade wasn’t— what the two of you were aiming for, and it was evident in his expression how disappointed he was in himself. After your constant reassurance that learning was about process and progress; not instant results, you grew to appreciate his soft grin and high shoulders that were filled with confidence and motivation. 

But he was also very attentive, even on days you didn’t feel your best Sunghoon was always understanding without having to say anything. And you were grateful, you tend to hold back and push through with plans even when you didn’t feel in the best shape, especially for your tutees. Sunghoon didn’t jest around much on days he saw you weren’t responding how you usually did, and he still managed to find time to ask if you were okay. Cheering you up in ways that had your cheeks flushing and heart racing. 

It was like skinship came naturally for the two of you, what started off as friendly nudges and taps on the arm shifted to his hand casually drawing lines on your back, your fingers tracing the veins on his arm or your shoulders casually touching while sitting beside one another. Things just felt comfortable with him, you realized that the one day the two of you were at his apartment, the library was starting to become a distraction but looking back— you weren’t sure if his place was much better.

While working on genomes and thermodynamics the two of you often shared snacks with one another, however when your eyes caught his pink lips around your bottle of coke you realized then and there that you and Sunghoon were more than tutor and tutee, more than friends. He made that known when you felt the same pink lips press a kiss on your temples after bidding you goodbye, making sure you made it inside your condo before he left, a small pep in his step noted while catching one last glimpse at him.

“Just think about it, hm?” he nodded toward you, bottom lip pulled between his teeth watching you roll your eyes before stuffing the jersey in your bag, ushering him to continue studying much to his resistance. 

“So are you gonna wear his jersey?” your friend sang with a smirk ghosting her lips, watching you hastily fix your hair in the mirror that she quickly helped you with not that long ago, fixing the top you picked to avoid that exact question purposely. It was the day of his game and you were already running slightly (really) behind schedule from a last-minute tutoring session you were asked to do despite making sure to state this weekend— you were unavailable. 

The game started a couple of minutes ago and it would take almost thirty minutes for you to get to the arena.

“Do I look good?” You asked her nervously, palms clammy against your jeans realizing what you got yourself into. 

“You look cute babe, Sunghoon is gonna miss every three-pointer with you in the crowd.” She joked, yelping in response when a dry shampoo bottle was thrown her way. “Naeun I’m serious, people are already gonna look at me weird for being there— the least you can do is make sure nothing is stuck between my teeth.” You whined, checking yourself in the mirror again out of pure paranoia.

“Y/N the only reason why they’ll be looking at you is because the Y/N is there for Park Sunghoon, so go! You’re late already.”

“Your seat is in row 4, enjoy! Go Cougs!” Awkwardly grabbing the ticket you were greeted by rows and rows of students cheering for the ongoing game, it was almost halftime and the team was a little under fifteen points. Excusing yourself through the crowd— you realized where exactly Sunghoon’s extra ticket landed you. 

Maneuvering through, you did your best to ignore the glances from some of the girls you recognized, they were people who frequently hung around the team; people whose crowd you weren’t a part of. Gratefully you weren’t seated beside any of them but figured this was the guest section for the team, you saw both students and family seated in the area. 

“Oh? Are you here for Sunghoon hyung?” A voice pulled you from your observation, glancing down you noted a younger boy looking up at you; dressed in your school colors with a sticker decorating his rather full cheek— a slushy in one hand and a pretzel in the other. He was cute, his wide eyes waiting for your answer as you smiled at how adorable he looked. 

“What made it obvious?” You asked him in a whisper, giggling slightly when his eyes crinkled in a smile pointing back at you. 

“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s sudden voice made you snap your gaze to the court, your eyes meeting his almost instantly. Breathing was human nature, a biological process of the body responding to your blood oxygen levels with an automatic retort that you’re born with instantly; yet somehow when you see Sunghoon every now and then, you forget how to breathe sometimes. 

The few strands of hair sticking against his temples distract you from his absolutely dazzling smile and shining eyes that grew in size making you smile shyly. Glancing down, you coughed awkwardly, feeling his jersey's smooth fabric against your fingers. Before heading out the door, the white jersey caught your eye and had you changing in the livingroom before leaving.

You were here for Sunghoon and you wanted him to feel like you were too, and by the deep dimple showcasing on his face, you knew you made the right decision. 

Raising your brow— you quirked your head towards the scoreboard, you didn’t need to say anything because Sunghoon knew exactly what you meant from your expression alone. 

‘You invited me to your game just to lose?’ snickering at the way drops of sweat shook from the tips of his hair, you scoffed watching his shoulders raise proudly when a few of his teammates noted your presence in the crowd. You were never one to be interested in sports, but after another quarter into the game; you were one of the many that were standing in your seat, watching the tick of the clock count down and the score narrow with each pass on the court. 

“Sunghoon..” You whispered, fingers clutching in anxiety noting the clock hitting the twenty-second mark, he needed to shoot a three-pointer for the team to finally take the lead and ultimately win the game. With his eyes darting across the court Sunghoon has never felt this much pressure in his whole entire life. The game was whatever, he had plenty more games to play and win, but the past few months have been hell for him. 

With graduation around the corner, he didn’t really have any more time to ‘play’ on the court, plans after graduation? No clue. Did he have enough credits to actually graduate? Another problem at a later time. Was the girl he’s been dying to ask out finally warming up to him? Well... 

Meeting you has been one of the best if not the best thing that has happened to him in a while, not only were you practically carrying him to the graduation finish line, you seemed to make even the unexpected— exciting, comforting even. Things just got more bearable for him since you’ve been around.

Even now with the whole fate of the game twirling between his fingers, he couldn’t help but smile knowing you were there in the crowd, there for him. The moment he saw you sitting in his jersey he knew these feelings weren’t just mere lingering feelings that come and go, what a plot twist you were. 

“Sunghoon!” Your voice always caught his attention, even now in a crowd of roaring support or those who wished for the opposite, it was like he could only hear you. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he first walked into the professor's office that one day, but he wouldn’t wish for it any other way. 

“Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball?!” Blinking at your unexpected exclamation his body automatically did what he did best, react in stressful situations— muscle memory from what he recalled you teaching him. With the sound of the ball rolling around the rim, Sunghoon could only let out a sigh of relief when the roar from the student section doubled, quadrupled even after the basketball bounced on the court after scoring the final basket. 

They fucking won.

Jumping from excitement you finally understood why people attend games in person, the experience was so different, exhilarating. It was like regardless of who you were, everyone was there cheering for the same thing, even the girls who were looking at you earlier were cheering with you, bright smiles filled with pride and joy despite how indifferent they were to you earlier. 

In the midst of the crowd, you made your way through the bodies of people making sure to say goodbye to the small boy who accompanied you during the game. You were grateful he made sure to explain the rules of the court— it only made things easier to catch on. Gasping in shock, you felt someone grab your wrist stopping you hastily, Sunghoon. 

“Congrats on winning Hoon!” You cheered, smiling widely as other students and teammates congratulated him with pats on the back and chants of victory. “It’s hard not to when someone yelling at me from the stands, ‘Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball!’ ” he mocked jokingly, his fingers finding the slim of your wrist after you brought your hands up to push his shoulder. With your eyes glued on each other, you couldn’t help but grin softly as you felt his fingers melt down your wrist and between your own. Even with the chaos around the two of you, with him, things felt like the way they should be.

A comfort you never felt with anyone else in midst of what used to be unfamiliarity. You found yourself following Sunghoon to the celebration after, your laughs filling the night sky as the two of you sat on the rooftop of the science building; looking over a lit-up field filled with Uni students drinking in victory. The cool breeze tickled your lashes as you took in the smell of flowers and plants that lined the railings and wooden pergola that was decorated with string lights. You’ve been here a few times for a couple of labs and projects, legs dangling over the side admiring the sound of distant music from the field afar.

“You take all girls you talk to here after your games?” rolling the bottle of beer between your palms, you raised a brow when he hesitated, his dark ones furrowed as a contemplating hum left his lips. Gapping you slid over slightly, mumbling in disbelief ignoring his chuckle promising he was just joking. 

“You might be like…the third?” He continued, scratching the nape of his neck watching your eyes double in size before you nodded to his honest answer. “So, who was it?” You asked nonchalantly. 

“To be honest I don’t think Sieun counts if she was my lab partner last semester, right?” he sighed, attempting to grab your hand only to be pushed away quickly. Sunghoon loved this part of you, trying your best to hide the relief in your eyes by shaking off the hand he purposely placed on your shoulder. It was cute, your slightly upset expression and groans accompanied by puffed-out cheeks, he loved it all. 

“Sieun?” You repeated, recognizing her as a classmate from your past Chemistry course. You didn’t notice but his eyes were trailing across your shoulders that rose absentmindedly from realization, taking the chance to move closer his lips bit back a smile— glad that your eyes were finally looking up at him. 

Turning away with a cough, you were able to catch yourself before falling right into his little charm, if it wasn’t Sieun there was still another girl who was here before you he hasn’t mentioned. It seemed stupid really, what were you expecting— someone like Sunghoon had girls waiting for him around the corner at every class, he was different from you. It was stupid for you to ask the question knowing you weren’t going to like the answer.

“I guess Professor Oh doesn’t count either— she was the one who lead us up here for the whole experiment and all.” he finally stated, with a sly smile his chuckle rang in your ear watching you realize he was messing with you the whole time. Much to your horror you were glad that was the truth.

With your legs swinging over the side, you flinched slightly when the breeze blew against your skin. It was pretty chilly that night and in a rush you forgot to grab the jacket you had laid out on the couch. The sound of Sunghoon shuffling pulled you back into the moment as you watched him shrug off his varsity jacket, placing it over your shoulders much to your dismay. 

Muttering a small ‘thanks’, you giggled when Sunghoon nudged your side with his elbow, making it annoyingly obvious he wasn’t going to move away anytime soon, you were used to this, his little antics that always had you smiling to the point the apples of your cheeks ached. “Thanks for coming today Y/N— I mean it really.” he softly muttered meeting your eyes that smiled back at him. 

“Of course, I came— I told you I keep promises.” You whispered back, your smiling fading slowly feeling his finger slowly grab onto yours.

“So if you promise to keep coming to my games…you will?” he challenged, gripping your hand softly as you nodded firmly. 

“And you promise we’ll keep studying together, even after the next exam?” 

“Only if you want to Hoon.”

“Then can you promise—” he paused; bringing your intertwined fingers up to his lips, the glint in his eye shining brighter than the string lights that could be mistaken as fireflies above you. It was a feeling you’ve never felt before, you wonder at times if meeting Sunghoon in these circumstances was a coincidence, maybe if you weren’t so different from him you wouldn’t think this was all a mistake. But in moments like this, when it was just the two of you in each other’s ambiance and warmth you hoped those mistakes only took you to the right place— with Sunghoon.

“Promise we’ll stay like this.” his words echoing as the two of you sat gazing at each other intently, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin as you nodded softly with a small smile. How strange was this you thought, sitting here with him felt like a dream— but you were wide awake. Feeling him lean in slightly; your fingers gripped his as the warmth of his sigh cascaded across your cheek, his bangs tickling your forehead feeling his nose brushed against yours softly. Inhaling softly you gasp when his lip touched yours ever so gently, his mole you’ve only glanced at when he wasn’t looking was staring right at you.

“Yo Sunghoon! You going to that party later this week?” A sudden voice surprised you from down below, pulling away quickly you chugged a gulp of beer eyeing the frat symbol on the jacket the boy was wearing. “Yeah, it’s Jay’s birthday, right? Think I promised a friend I was going.” he huffed out, slightly unamused from the disruption leaning on the side with one hand. 

“Hey Y/N…” the guy greeted, his smile hinting a teasing tone before walking away quickly back towards the field. “You should come this weekend it’ll be fun, promise?” You heard him whisper, his lip brushing the shell of your ear softly and you had no choice but to nod.

 And you truly wished you didn’t.

The weekend came in a blink of an eye and you found yourself surrounded by classmates you’ve seen around but never got the chance to mingle with. You would’ve never guessed you’d be asking Naeun for help picking an outfit for tonight but you found yourself not believing in a lot of things when it came to Sunghoon. 

“Waiting for me?” You heard someone say from behind, his familiar warmth spreading across your back as a smile made its way to your lips. “Sunghoon.” You whispered, turning to embrace him as you admired his styled-up hair and simple grin. 

All sense of insecurity washed away feeling him pull you in a hug, greeting his friends passing by with a bright smile as you held your drink over his shoulders; a red cup in one hand while the other patted him softly. You couldn’t help but laugh feeling him turn you in different directions to say hello to everyone greeting him. He was here with you, and he made sure to make that painfully obvious. 

Since that night on the rooftop, neither you nor Sunghoon addressed the almost kiss the two of you shared—embarrassment on your part and your gut, more like Naeun’s input, told you it was gonna happen tonight…something was. At this point, it’s been a few months since you and Sunghoon have grown close, and your feelings have grown over time and so have his affections around you. 

Sunghoon wasn’t afraid to make it known you were with him, whether it be holding your hand as the two of you walked on campus or stopping by classes to pick you up after lectures. He’s made a home in your apartment and you could only wonder where things would lead for the two of you if he just popped the question.

“Sunghoon the girl you showed up with just ran out.” You heard his friend whisper, his eyes suddenly darting around before pulling out his phone. You knew Sunghoon came with a friend, and you couldn’t help but worry as well seeing how panicked he was scrolling through his contacts. You’ve seen her around before, a music major— you guessed the two of them knew each other from a class or club. 

“Hey can you stay here and wait for me? I’ll make it quick I promise baby.” You heard him hastily whisper, leaving you standing there nodding absentmindedly as he made his way through the crowd. 

When twenty minutes turned into an hour, you found yourself sitting on the couch, checking your phone in hopes of seeing his name pop up asking where you were in the unfamiliar place. Your heart immediately jumped feeling the buzz of your notification ignoring the way the people around you were wondering why you were suddenly sitting alone, silently alone after socializing with others not that long ago. 

“Naeun?” You answered quietly, digging your fingers into the fabric of the couch as you tried to tune out the mix of music and voices you couldn’t seem to understand from around you. 

“I’m at the party waiting for Sunghoon but—” You flinched; yelping when someone jumped over you— laughing a hasty ‘sorry’. You reassured her you were fine but by the way your voice was trembling, she knew you were lying. 

Biting your lip you could hear her concern laced voice asking you again if you were okay. Naeun offered to come along but you assured her Sunghoon would take care of you, Sunghoon would be here for you, Sunghoon—-

“Hey you’re here with Park right?” an unfamiliar voice pulled you away from call, a faint ‘I’m on my way’ brushing past your ears. Nodding, your eyes widened in realization it was Sunghoon’s friend from earlier. Naeun had hung up long ago and despite ignoring the male trying to pull you into a conversation, your mind couldn’t help but drift wondering where Sunghoon disappeared off to.

“I’m honestly surprised Sunghoon kept you around for how long he did.” Snapping your attention back to the man, your furrowed brows were enough to tell him he finally piqued your interest. “Sunghoon left a while ago with some girl, she wasn’t the one who he showed up with but he seemed pretty happy to leave.” The male shrugged, your head shaking in disbelief taking another look at your phone still cleared of notifications. 

“No he said he was coming right back— he promised.” You argued softly, tensing when you felt him throw an arm over your shoulder before a red cup disrupted your view. 

You weren’t sure how many cups you’d had since then, the colored lights blurring together while your cheek was leaned against whoever the fuck was closest to you. Naeun was nowhere to be seen and you could feel the alcohol hitting your system harder than it ever had before. Sunghoon still wasn’t here, you didn’t want to believe he left you here for another girl— but with no text and no sign of him anywhere, maybe it was true. His friend from earlier seemed to have disappeared as well, your last memory of him was asking you to take another shot before someone else piqued his interest. 

“Y/N. Y/N stand up.” Shaking your head you threw your arm over the familiar girl who mumbled to whoever was next to you in annoyance. 

“Sunghoon—” 

“He’s not coming let’s go.” You heard her firmly say, dragging you carefully out of the house with your feet tripping over themselves down the stairs. Catching a brief view of the clock you realized it’s been four hours since Sunghoon said he’d be back. 

“Naeun let go he’s coming back!” 

“Y/N he’s not! I asked around while looking for you and they said he fucking left a while ago, he’s not coming so snap out of it.” she struggled to say, her teeth gritting together from dragging you to sit on the curbside watching the realization settle in your eyes he really did leave with someone else—when he promised. 

You were prepared for this, sort of, someone like Sunghoon was just never made to be with someone like you, it was too good to be true. 

You ready for this,or so you thought, the utter realization that maybe this was all fun and games for him until he got bored and moved onto the next. 

You expected this, though you wished for it to never happen, yet somehow it still hurt.

“He promised.” You whispered, a tear escaping down your cheek as Naeun stood there in pity, slowly engulfed in the cloud of grief overtaking your eyes and mind— and all she could do was hope the pain would go away, or so she promised, but since that night you weren’t too sure about promises anymore.

“Ms Kim!” 

“I’m so sorry, is everyone done with the quiz?” You asked while standing from your desk, smiling at the students who nodded in unison as you collected the sheets of paper passed to the front in stacks. You’ve had a rough weekend, on top of preparing for the upcoming faculty meeting you were still processing the reality that Sunghoon was indeed the new teacher in the literature department—and the new coach. With the bell ringing you dismissed everyone who seemed to be in high spirits after hearing that you weren’t assigning any homework for today. 

Sitting back down you hummed in acknowledgment seeing both Jungwon and Niki by your desk, the coffee you had earlier cold in your palms grinning at the both of them shifting in their place nervously. After your talk with Sunghoon last week, the boys told you he was adamant about practice hours— being that stubborn you didn’t expect anything less.

“So can I expect to see the two of you later for tutoring? Or am I going to stop by practice to pull the both of you out myself?” Arduously looking at the two boys, you knew the answer was the latter; by their tight smiles, they didn’t have much of a choice. 

You were hoping— slightly hoping Sunghoon had it in him to not be an asshole making you walk all the way to the gym where practice was being held, especially not in your stilettos. He’s always been this way, the first couple of days the two of you studied together you concluded he wasn’t much of a listener nor much of a compromiser.

And when it was time to start after school tutoring, you could only tap your heel as it’s been ten minutes since you were scheduled to start.

“Mother fucker.” You hushed under your breath, shooting up in your chair hastily, you did your best to ignore the looks from your students waiting for tutoring to start at their desks. With your heels clicking against the tiles you quickly found your way to the gym, the sound of whistles and basketballs bouncing against the gym floor echoed through the opened doors as you walked in. 

It was a familiar feeling, quite familiar noting Sunghoon from across the court with a clipboard in one hand and a whistle in the other. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you found yourself bee-lining towards the blonde— his brow quirked up from your sudden appearance.

Switching practice times was something Sunghoon just— felt like doing, well not really. Seeing you here was one of the last cursed encounters he expected to face after the last time the two of you met eyes years ago. 

When your widened eyes greeted him that evening, something instantly sparked in him, nostalgia? He wasn’t sure if it was the good or bad kind yet— it felt surreal in a way. The one girl he wished he met sooner back in college was the science teacher at the new high school he was transferred to for the spring semester. 

You were different, so different from the last time he’d seen you. Your usual smile that warmed his heart back then was now replaced with an unfamiliar one, a tired gaze that seemed so distant from the ones that used to look up at him in affection. Your hair was longer than before and it was weird to see you dressed in business attire when he only remembered your casual ones. 

And then it hit him—it has been a while. 

He liked to believe things stayed how they were before, he hoped they did— and maybe they were.

“I told you to change practice hours, how are you a literature teacher who lacks comprehension skills?”

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he was wrong about something.

Practice was going well today, the students were finally back into a healthy energetic mindset after weeks of exams. He was aware of the eligibility rule and your request but seeing how tired most of them were, he knew it was important to let his athletes have that extra three hours of sleep. As a former student-athlete, Sunghoon knew how important it was for rest and recovery, he’ll do what he has to do to ensure his students got just that. 

“You said I lack comprehension skills?” he huffed amused, his eyes on your figure recovering from walking across campus, your face visibly flushed from being winded and irritated. 

“Ms.Kim this is a closed practice, does that mean you lack common courtesy to follow rules?” he argued back, roughly shoving the clipboard to the assistant without hesitation– earning a surprised grunt from the poor man.

You could practically feel your eye twitch watching the smug look overtake his features, enjoying the frustration seething from your eyes in real time. 

“Maybe don’t leave the gym doors open next time if it’s a closed practice, plus Coach Lee let me in.” You grinned phonily, your upturned smile dropping instantly pushing past him as your eyes scanned the court for Niki and Jungwon. Many of the students greeted you politely despite being in the midst of drills and training. Calling their names they immediately ran towards you, a conflicted expression painting their face as a whistle was blown directly behind you. 

Flinching you were greeted with a now annoyed Sunghoon eyeing the two boys behind you who were ready to leave with their things. 

“Move and I’m not going to repeat myself, Mr.Park.” You exhaled tremulously, your words not really reaching his ears after noticing exactly how close you were after turning to face him. 

“Don’t disrupt my practice again or I promise you’ll be dealing with a lot more than conflicting hours,” he whispered, his brows furrowing at the way your pupils wavered softly. You almost scoffed really, here you were face to face to Park Sunghoon after a long time.

You had every right and opportunity to confront him, yell at him even; asking why he left that night and why he never bothered to call or text after. The two of you after that party went back to how you were before— strangers.

Instead here you were merely inches away staring at the mole beside his nose you remember clearly. His minty breath fanned your lashes after the huffed out a sigh of disbelief. He could have ended up at any other high school, why did it have to be here? 

“I don’t think you’re someone who should be making promises Sunghoon.” You sneered in a whisper, his eyes widening slightly before dropping the silver whistle from his lips. Scoffing softly you called for the two to follow you and thankfully, they did. With your heels clicking against the court, you did your best to ignore the burning sensation spreading through your chest, nodding at the students bidding you goodbye with a smile. 

“I guess your talk with Coach didn’t go well the other day.”  You heard Jungwon whisper, a small chuckle to lighten the mood which you appreciated. “Let’s just say Coach Park and I know each other well.” opening the door to the class with a huff, you apologized to the other kids with a smile. 

“We can come every other day— if that’s okay,” Niki suggested, setting his bag on the floor taking a seat next to his teammate.

“Is he going to allow you to come every other day?” You asked with a raised brow,  seeing the both of them nod genuinely you heaved a sigh and smiled softly. And to your surprise, they did come every other day, you haven’t seen Sunghoon since then, and thankfully so. 

Making sure to ignore him in the faculty lounge during lunches— you even committed to coming early hours in the morning to print all your things just to avoid him in the storage units. It’s been exactly four days since your heated argument with him— Naeun saying it was fate when you mentioned it to her over the phone. 

“Fate my asshole.” you cursed, gripping your shoulder bag as you got off the terminal making your way to work. It was the day of the faculty meeting you’ve dreaded while preparing for— Ms.Go appointed you as the new head of the science department at the last meeting and not many people were too fond of that. Greeting your other colleagues your eyes trailed over those who were smiling while greeting you a hello. Some were your friends and seniors you looked up to while others were just those who respected you and your efforts for your job.

“Someone is sitting here—from my department.” Blinking at the women your gaze settled on her hand blocking the chair you were going to pull out to sit in. That was a lie, you knew it was. With good people also came the ones who weren’t that nice when the news dropped that you were appointed to the new position. Nodding an apology you couldn’t help but chew on your bottom noting the only other seat left unoccupied. 

Slowly setting your bag on the floor you pulled out all the paperwork needed for the meeting starting soon, ignoring the obvious stare on your right as you huffed out a sigh. Not able to ignore it any longer you gave the blonde a curt nod, brows furrowing as he didn’t acknowledge your greeting at all. 

“Oh? Y/N!” A familiar voice caused you to look up from your files, grinning at the familiar smile walking back to his seat with a cup of coffee. 

“Coach Lee!” You snickered softly, eyeing the extra cup of coffee he pushed towards you trying to ignore the looks from some of the older ladies down the table. Jeno was another Coach at the school for the soccer team who was also head of the math department. Being similar in age the two of you got along as assistants when you first started.

“Thank you..” giving him a soft whisper, you admired the swirls of creme floating on top of the expresso, a sigh escaping from you feeling the warmth spread between your fingers. After a couple of savoring sips, you paused as something—more like someone, was bothering you. You could only watch as Sunghoon glanced between you and the cup of coffee between your palms. His dark brows in a stern frown before scoffing and fixing his tie; it was the first time you had a good look at Sunghoon outside of his baggy sports attire after so long. 

His tall nose and pushed-up hair perfectly enhanced his face while the white dress shirt snugged nicely against his shoulders. He had grown into his features, that boyish charm now replaced with a cold stare and small frown. 

What was his problem? It wasn’t like you wanted to sit here in the first place, sneering slightly you took one last sip; purposefully glaring at him when your eye caught his gaze once again. 

“Are you ready for the presentation? I know it’s your first one since becoming the head of your department.” You heard Jeno ask you, nodding you smiled glancing at all the paperwork you were able to compress into a ten-fifteen-minute presentation.

“I’m not going to lie I had some trouble since there’s so much to talk about but— I think I did good.” You nodded, catching his smile as he pulled out his own set of notes. “Well, you ever need my help you can always ask me, you know my hours and my email.” With a thankful nod, your smile dropped hearing someone scoff beside you— a little too loudly you noted, glancing at the blonde with an irritated glint.

Before you could ask him what his problem was Ms. Go entered the room as everyone stood to greet her respectfully. As she caught your figure her smile widened in acknowledgment that you knew many people took note of, with everyone taking their seats you could feel your palms grow clammy as each department presented one by one. Jeno’s bright smile and convincing talk about changing the math curriculum passed quicker than you expected which meant one thing, it was your turn soon— next actually.

“Ms.Kim you’re up.”

Heaving out a shaky ‘yes’ your legs felt like jelly as you gathered all your notes, glancing at the other teachers in your department giving you an encouraging smile as you passed them walking to the front. The sound of your heels clicking against the floor seemed to be the only thing echoing in your thoughts as the gazes and judgmental stares seemed to have filled your vision making you visibly tense. It was true, there were many teachers here with way more years of experience and opinions but Ms.Go and the board choose you for a reason— that’s what you kept telling yourself. After a brief introduction, you noted Ms.Go’s intent gaze causing you to stutter slightly. 

“After working with the students and seeing the science program here, I have some changes that I believe would be beneficial.” Despite the scoffs heard from a few, you could feel the relief wash over you as Ms.Go nodded writing down some notes. “Looking at the curriculum a lot of the lesson plans are very outdated and don’t tend to the needs of the students now— I suggest we change our approach on what we expect from the kids. Things have changed in the new age which makes it only appropriate to change how we teach as well.” 

“And we trust the kids in your hands why?” Trying your best to hold back the frown leaking through your stiff smile you turned to Ms.Jung who was part of the literature and linguistics department, honesty you were expecting this type of question to come up somewhere in your presentation. However, when some of your other colleagues began dabbling in the conversation, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the amount of unwanted opinions directed towards you and the other teachers in your department. 

“Why would I take your word when I’ve been doing this for as long you’ve been alive.” Ms.Jung scoffed– her face clearly satisfied by the mess she caused making you look down in embarrassment. 

“What type of meeting is this if no one listens to what is being presented.” The sudden silence was caused by Sunghoon’s slightly irritated tone, his brows in a deep frown while tapping his pen against the desk in a steady beat. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to young man? I heard you’re new here and that’s how you treat your seniors—”

“What kind of seniors treats their younger colleagues that way? Ms.Kim is obviously really passionate and good at her job if she’s the science department leader… I think she knows better than anyone here what to do with the students,” he interjected, observing the way Ms.Jung looked taken aback by his sudden comment, a smug look casting over his face.

“It’s true since Ms.Kim became one of the main teachers— our science sector has seen tremendous amounts of improvement in overall scores and individual performances.” Ms.Go added with a nod, a small genuine smile making its way to your face with a humble nod. 

“Working with Ms.Kim I trust her enough to listen— I hope everyone can as well.” Surprised, you gave Jeno a grateful grin before you continued your presentation, your eyes catching Sunghoon’s deepen frown making you look away confused every once in a while. He was the one who helped you in the first place so why did he look so upset? 

However, you were unaware that his frown wasn’t directed towards you— but instead to Jeno who added a comment earlier he considered unnecessary, very unnecessary. 

After the meeting ended you searched for Sunghoon who already made his way out of the faculty room. You wanted to thank him for deescalating the situation earlier but he never gave you a second glance the moment you sat down again beside him. Making your way through the crowd, your eye searched for the blonde male making his way down the hall before pausing at your voice calling for him. 

“Hey.” You huffed fixing the bag on your shoulder, awkwardly glancing down to his hand gripping his own bag beside him. The cold air blowing from the conditioner made you shiver, you didn’t realize but your voice came out a lot softer than you expected. “I just wanted to say thank you— for earlier you know.” You could only watch as Sunghoon stared down at you, his head nodding in acknowledgment before turning away slowly. 

“Wait!” You didn’t know what prompted you to grab his blazer, maybe it was the way you haven’t heard his voice in so long, but all you wanted was to savor this moment with him a little longer. 

“I’ll buy you a coffee, my treat.” the offer quickly slipping from your lips.

“This wasn’t what I was thinking.” You heard him scoff beside you, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed as you mixed coffee and some milk from the faculty vending machine. With a grin you shrugged your shoulders, ripping some sugar packets before whisking with a spoon, a drink that you often had going through hell and back since working here. 

“Well Coach Lee and I would whip this up for each other ever since the both of us started as assistants, it’s my treat so be grateful at least.” You mumbled, throwing away all the trash while admiring the way the coffee swirled from the momentum of your mixing. His expression still cold as he pulled his phone from his pocket ignoring your statement.

You didn’t know why but this was making you slightly annoyed— hurt even. The two of you were colleagues now and you were doing your best to extend an olive branch despite what happened in the past. The least he could do was— 

Your eyes widen slightly at an unfamiliar scent mixed with the bitterness of the coffee, lashes fluttering as you felt his arm brush your chest faintly. Grabbing the cup of coffee from your grasp, you could only watch as Sunghoon took a sip from the drink, his furrowed brows relaxing softly seeing you look up to him in a daze. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to drink it— jeez.” Taking another long sip, your lips lifted slightly seeing him finish the drink in one go. 

“The coffee isn’t going to run away from you Mr. Park slow down.” You huffed, picking up your bag before making your way to the door; a slight warmth spreading throughout your chest hearing him call out your name as you didn’t bother turning back. 

Since then none of the other teachers have bothered you in and out of the faculty meetings, you weren’t sure if it was because of Sunghoon or the fact they’ve accepted your new position— but it was one less thing to worry about. And to your surprise since your little barista session, the two of you kept it respectful and greeted each other whether it be passing in the halls or coincidentally seeing each other in the storage room; it was better than acting like each other’s existence didn’t matter because deep down— you at least knew it did.

“Right, so you need to move all the pH variables to this side and—” While helping some of the kids, you were interrupted by the sound of your door opening hastily. Immediately fixing your posture, your eyes widened at the sight of Sunghoon standing at the doorway with Niki and Jungwon. His gaze looked around the room almost in embarrassment with his hands shoved in his track pants. It was the first time he was in your class after your first encounter at the start of the month.

“I forgot it was your day with the kids— here.” You heard him say, pushing the two who were still dressed in their athletic clothing as he huffed a cough from your soft greeting towards the both of them. 

“Well they’re doing really well recently so I wouldn’t have minded the two of them staying with you.” Pushing your hands into your back pockets, you stood next to Sunghoon after giving Jungwon a small pat on the back with a sigh. With the first big game against the rival school coming soon— you understood the need for practice on the court. 

“If I didn’t know what both of you were talking about I’d assume it was about co-parenting,” Niki mumbled throwing his bag on the floor after you failed to greet him the same way you did Jungwon. Hearing a few snickers from the other students you quickly denied his statement, blinking rapidly as you moved away from an equally flustered Sunghoon who was mentioning extra laps around the track if Niki didn’t get to work.

After a few minutes of settling everyone in their seats, you noted Sunghoon still by the door, “Are you not going to return to practice?” You asked him, watching his eyes flicker back to you after gazing into space again.

“Oh— my assistant has it covered, the boys are just doing a practice game so I don’t really need to be there.” He nodded ruffling his track pants quietly. With a nod you motioned for him to have a seat at the lab tables if he wished to. 

“Well you’re welcome to stay if you want to, I’m just going to go over a few topics before assigning practice worksheets.” You told him with a grin. Sunghoon obviously took the opportunity to stay as for the past couple of days; he purposely changed his route around campus to find more opportunities to run into you. 

It’s just been—- so long. Hearing your voice again somehow pulled him back into this warm serenity he’s been missing for years. Your soft laugh that rang like wedding bells in his ear resurfaced drowned out thoughts and emotions that kept him up during the night and distracted him during the day. Things didn’t end the way he wished—nor did they end the way he thought they would. 

He should’ve never asked you to go to that damn party, the two of you were fine before that whole hell hole. Sunghoon trusted you— trusted you when it came to tutoring him to his full potential and trusted you to be honest when it came to if his hair looked weird in the morning. But he never thought he had to question his trust when it came to your feelings towards him. 

One minute he left to go find a friend who was light years braver than him when it came to words of love and confession— and the next he came back to you with another person; another man. An acquaintance, one who never really had good things to say about him. To see you leaning against him with your face cradled into his neck sharing shots together, made his stomach drop.

Dread? Sorrow? Regret? 

What else was there to say, he hadn’t asked to you be his girlfriend officially yet since he was so scared. 

Of rejection? No. Commitment? No, so what was it?

There he was, standing in the midst of the party seeing you slip away from his fingers in what felt like seconds, and he never looked back. 

Pride? Prejudice? He was sure the english novel that was apart of his assignment at the time persuaded the labels listed but things seemed better off this way. He never reached out and you didn’t either— apart of him hoped you did, but seeing you pass him on campus reassured him that maybe he was expecting too much; and he did. 

Years later despite what happened, he couldn’t help but feel a part of him yearn for that fulfillment again. To feel your hands cradling his face, your voice warming him in love and solace. But he concluded since those days being someone who feels too deeply— is just too exhausting.

“Woah—” Sunghoon mumbled out of his daze, your hand slamming slightly on the lab table startled him as the students left one by one as it’s been almost an hour since tutoring started. “Tutoring is over, you can leave now Coach Park.” holding back a grin, you couldn’t help but snicker at his flustered expression, something you haven’t seen in a while. Sunghoon stood hastily— embarrassed as his two athletes were glancing at him with slight snickers.

“Hey! Be ready for practice tomorrow, on time or I’m adding two extra sets to each workout.” Despite Niki and Jungwon’s teasing gaze towards him as they left— ones you didn’t notice, Sunghoon couldn’t help but shift in place seeing you struggle to put all the chairs on top of the tables for evening cleaning. 

Moving to help you, the sound of the clock ticking and chairs scratching against the tile floor filled the unfamiliar silence that surrounded you btoh— unfamiliar in a way where for the first time in a while for you and him; the silence didn’t have to hurt anymore.

“Are you heading home soon?” You heard him ask beside you, glancing out the window with the sun setting in the distance; you let out a tired sigh with a nod. 

“Okay I’ll go grab my things and walk you to the lot, meet me in front.” Before you could deny his request he was already out your door in a blink. A small snicker escaped your lips as you swiftly went to gather your things, you weren’t sure what was going through that little mind of his at the moment, but a part of you was glad he wasn’t acting like the two of you were complete strangers. 

“Is your car this way?” you heard him ask, the two of you meeting outside your hall before walking to the front of the school.

“Uh— I’m actually taking the bus, my car is still in the dealer because the breaks were acting up last month.” running a hand through your hair you thanked him softly for walking you this far until you felt him grab ahold of your forearm. 

“Then I’ll just take you home it’s probably on the way—”

“No! I’ll probably stop by to get dinner, it’s fine really you don’t have to.” You reassured him, doing your best to pull away from his grasp that only tightened the more you resisted. 

“Then let’s just catch up.” His suggestion makes you pause in shock, “I should probably eat dinner too.” How could you say no, he was looking at you with those hopeful eyes again, a glint of excitement in them when you unconsciously nodded to his offer.

“Auntie can we have two bowls please!” you called out— greeting the workers you saw often at the local noodle shop with a smile sitting down across Sunghoon, you thanked the waiter who was placing drinks infront of the both of you. 

“You seem to come here often, is it that good?” His light-hearted comment caused you to chuckle as you passed him the utensils from the box. 

“Once you eat what I ordered you won’t question my taste again.” Slightly glaring at him your cheeks immediately lifted as his laugh filled the booth. 

“That’s what you said about that one pizza place on campus— I’m sure you remember the fish bones underneath the cheese.” he pointed out, his foot tapping yours slightly as your lips puckered at the memory of Sunghoon pulling out a few fish bones from his slice of pizza. 

It was one of your weekend dates where you offered to find a place for dinner, despite it being one of the worst meals you’ve had during college it was a sweet memory the two of you cherished.

“And there wasn’t even fish on the menu.” with your expression in a scrunch, a smile broke onto your face as Sunghoon’s dimple was full display, recalling the utter horror the both of you shared realizing the crunches on your pizza weren’t dried onions. 

“Okay this does look good…”Gawking at the bowl of hot noodles in front of him, Sunghoon couldn’t help but dig in as you nodded watching him sip the broth; savoring the taste and warmth of each spoonful. 

You and Sunghoon did have many cherishing moments together. Figured as time went by you could push down these memories and hopefully, they would fade away the same way your happiness did with each passing month. Maybe the storm brewing in your heart could wash away any traces of him you had left in your mind, but of course, those prayers went unanswered.

You hoped it was one of those instances where you missed the memories more than the person, but deep down you knew that wasn’t true. Just a mental coping mechanism to convince yourself the closure you never got wasn’t the one thing you needed to move on with what happened. 

Why? Self-depreciation perhaps, emotions do that to a person. Maybe it clicked that you simply refused to let go of the memories— feelings you felt when things were good till they weren’t as it was a reminder that what you had was a good thing that should’ve never ended. 

But maybe it needed to.

“You were right this place is pretty good.” He huffed a chuckle, watching your eyes travel back to your bowl as you scoffed slightly.

“Niki and Jungwon don’t have to come every other day anymore, they should be fine with eligibility just send them when you can.” You nodded finishing the last of your meal, Sunghoon sat watching you quietly as you hummed with each bite. You kept your habits over the years, fingers pushing your hair behind your ears ever so often to the way your eyes were unable to meet his when you spoke or caught his gaze by accident, it was all the same. 

“And I know I’ve said this already but seriously thank you—for speaking up during the meeting,” pausing your eyes met his as the soft music within the restaurant feathered your words of appreciation. 

“They haven’t bothered me since which takes so much stress off of me.” With a small laugh, you expected him to follow, but your expression falls short when you noted his contemplating eyes gazing down with a frown. 

With the two of you here in the moment, despite the cordial decency you wanted to keep, Sunghoon couldn’t help but wish to know the truth. In the few months it took for the two of you to grow close, there was always the unknown if you would be more than friends. After being accustomed to your minuscule characteristics and habits, something never truly settled right with him about what happened. 

You just weren’t that type of person.

If things never worked out between the both of you it would’ve been because a few reasons, but none of them being what he saw that night. Your slight aggression towards him now after the obvious change of attitude from that night told him maybe things weren’t the way it seemed.

“Stop thanking me, just take it as a very delayed thank you for helping me graduate.” He huffed out, making sure to keep the cordial atmosphere you tried so hard to create during work despite the curiosity brewing inside him. 

“Speaking of graduation, did you miss the ceremony? I don’t remember seeing you when I went for friends who were in the same major.” he finally spit out—his question obviously making you freeze, you weren’t expecting him to bring up anything from back then. 

But Sunghoon was always full of surprises.

“Uh— yeah I, actually attended an overseas internship so that required me to leave a few days before the ceremony.” Picking the vegetables in your bowl, you could practically feel his gaze burning holes into you. Sunghoon knew you were lying, but he wasn’t going to let you know that. 

“Are you sure it didn’t have anything to deal with what happened?” your jaw tensed as you set down the pair of chopsticks bringing your eyes to meet his. 

“And what exactly are you referring to Sunghoon?” voice tinted with anger taking in the solemn expression that suddenly overtook his face. 

“Are you recalling to the fact I was in between what I wanted to do with my major so I took an extra semester to graduate or the fact the both of us just— went back to pretending like we were strangers?” You didn’t know what snapped inside you, past anger and resentment like skeletons in a closet finally acknowledged for the first time; in a long time. 

“Strangers?” Sunghoon scoffed, trailing his eyes away from you to the empty booth beside you two in exasperation. “You think what happened was something that happened for the fuck of it? Is that all it was to you?” his tone cold looking back at you. 

Confusion? Indignation? You couldn’t pinpoint what exactly blossomed when your eyes met, but something made his eyes turn cold as the realization settled that you weren’t the only one hurting. Eyes that once looked at you with warmth and tenderness now looked at you in vexation. 

“You made a promise you couldn’t keep then left taking no responsibility like the coward you were.” slamming the money you found to cover the bill on the table, you stood from your seat in a hurry. You did your best to make things seem as if the two of you shared nothing more than a few classes back in college; normal— so why the hell did he have to show up in your life again when you were starting to realize what’s coming will be better than what was gone.

“Wait Y/N let’s just talk—”

“There’s nothing to talk about Sunghoon! You made things painfully clear that night so please just… pretend like we don’t know each other.” And with a frown you left, this whole acting normal bit was bullshit to begin with. Sitting back down in the booth Sunghoon couldn’t help but curse as the sight of your back leaving the shop quickly seemed a little too familiar. 

Instead of clarity, he left with more questions to fill his thoughts at night. 

“And you’re saying he was basically hinted you were the reason things didn’t work out.” Naeun pointed out; brows raised in revelation as the both of you were seated in your living room, cans of beer lining the coffee table alongside bags of snacks she prepared after asking her to come over. After your small altercation with Sunghoon last night you really needed another opinion on the situation— and a drink. 

“Well, he didn’t say it but it felt like he was insinuating it— I don’t know! Either way, I saw what I saw and heard what I heard, and you did too.” whining slightly you took one last gulp from the nearly empty can before crushing it within your palm. You thought it was ridiculous how Sunghoon had the impudence to turn this around on you, but what would be the reason?  

“Y/N just ignore him, it’s not worth thinking about it this much… I say you distract yourself with that cute coworker you’ve been friends with.” she chuckled passing you another can which you accepted with a frown. 

“You mean Jeno?” 

“Well— you said he was your type and the two of you get along well, I say why not.” she shrugged, nodding to the beat of the music playing from your speaker you let out a sigh of… consideration. 

It was true, the both of you always got along well, both in the work setting and away. Maybe you were too busy with forwarding your career, but you never thought about getting involved romantically with anyone else, that’s what you told yourself. 

And there was truth to it, in the years since you’ve accomplished a lot in your line of work. Aspirations became reachable goals, and you were finally at a point in your career which you considered stable for your age and experience. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t try to to talk to other men in these few years, but they just never worked out, they weren’t—

“Sunghoon is going to be a part of the school festival committee with you?” Blinking out from your daze, you nodded bringing your knees to your chest. “You make it sound like it’s just the two of us.” Chuckling slightly you popped open another can of beer to refresh the lingering bitterness on your tongue.

“But yes, the Science and Literature department are paired up for the festival. I’ll just do my best to ignore him but I’ll be hard if he keeps being confrontational.”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Nodding at her softly you gave her a hug thanking her for coming over to make you feel better. 

“Go— your clingy boyfriend is about to call me again asking if you’re coming home.” With a smile she flicked you off before bidding you goodbye quietly in the hall outside of your condo.

Naeun always found you and Sunghoon odd, how such contrasting individuals were able to grow so fond of one another, adapt to each other so quickly and willingly. You were kind at heart with a mind that was filled with never-ending dreams while he was someone who lived in the moment with a dubious reserved mind. You’d think two people of similar nature would get along much better, but once she met her own lover in her grad years, she understood that wasn’t the case. 

“Yeah can I get one americano with milk please.” Glancing up from her phone, Naeun had to glance again to make sure what she saw— more like who, wasn’t who she thought it was. Naeun was here to have a drink before meeting with her boyfriend for a date to end the weekend, and the last person she expected to see was the guy her best friend was reviling last night.

“Park Sunghoon what are you doing here?” being just as shocked as she was, Sunghoon gave her an amused nod before walking over with his receipt. “She wasn’t lying when she said you were back huh, what are you doing getting coffee this afternoon.” Acknowledging his backpack she let out a hum when he told her he was here to fish a few assignments he had for upcoming lesson plans. 

Shifting on his feet, Sunghoon offered for them to take a seat recognizing that glint in Naeun’s glare that he knew well from before— she had questions, and he could guess about who.

“Did you know Y/N worked there before coming?” Being thrown off by the sudden question, Sunghoon couldn’t help but choke a bit on his coffee. Americano with milk and sugar, a staple he grew to love after you made him a slightly different version a while back at work. 

“If I knew she was here I wouldn’t have taken the offer.” With a raised brow Naeun couldn’t help but scoff slightly. 

“Wow you really do have the uttermost audacity.” leaning back in her chair as Sunghoon stared at her in confusion. 

“Listen I know you’re friends so you’d defend her despite anything and I’m not demeaning you for that—”

“And what would I be defending her for? Giving you a chance when other people were making her feel like she shouldn’t have? You broke her heart Sunghoon, embarrassed her in front of people who didn’t even know her.” Rolling her eyes Naeun was growing frustrated looking at the way his upset expression turned confused.

“Don’t act stupid Sunghoon people saw and told Y/N, people even told me that you left with some girl that night and never came back.” Sitting in silence, Naeun couldn’t help but cross her arms at the sudden quietude overcoming the table, the silent noise in the background filling the empty ambiance between the two. 

“Are you finally remembering now? Because I had to show up and pull Y/N off some—”

“Wait. Who told you that, who told her that? I told Y/N I was going to look for a friend— but I never left… she knows that.” A shift in his voice was clearly acknowledged by Naeun as she sat up in her seat shaking her head.

“I don’t know it was some guy she kept saying was your friend when I found her; drunk and delirious might I add, but she trusted you.” Disappointment laced her tone while Sunghoon looked away, thoughts running miles she could see, his eyes darting from the busy sidewalk outside back to the blending of coffee beans at the counter.

“I went to go talk to a friend— who I ended up not being able to find, then I came back and she was with an acquaintance I knew…he was all over her and I don’t know.” rubbing the paper cover over his cup, Sunghoon felt the weight shifting off his shoulders being able to finally talk to someone about what happened. But when Naeun didn’t respond; he couldn’t help but look up only to be met with bundled-up tissue paper thrown at him.

“You think she would really do that to you Sunghoon? She liked you, way too much for that to happen.” Hissing through her teeth Naeun couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh, not at Sunghoon— but to you as well. What type of misunderstanding led to two different views of what happened? 

Running his fingers through his hair Sunghoon couldn’t help but grimace at her response. “Naeun that guy she was with was someone who showed interest in her before, he was a teammate of mine and I don’t know—”

“Well that would explain why he told people you left with someone else. I found her leaning against someone else for support because that asshole got her drunk and then left to god knows where.” With his eyes doubling in size, he couldn’t exactly explain the feeling traveling through him as he chugged the last of his coffee in one go. Foolishness? He knew better than to think you would do that, a mix of internal and external variables engrained him with a different memory than what happened.

But was it wrong for him to feel slightly hopeful? 

Cursing was the only thing Sunghoon could do sitting with this new information as Naeun finally understood the grasp of how big the misunderstanding was. 

“Is she at home now?” His question caused her gaze to snap toward him with a nod. “Then I should go talk to her about this—this mistake.” Stopping him quickly, Sunghoon knew it was imprudent to confront you at the moment, with what happened a few days ago he could conclude you probably wanted nothing else to do with him.

“Well you see, I might or might not have encouraged her to move on and forget about you and everything that happened.” Sheepishly scratching her cheek, she rolled her eyes as Sunghoon reassured her it was nothing to be sorry for.

“And I may or may not have told her to take a chance with the cute Coach from the math department.”

“Oh.” 

Naeun couldn’t help the guilt taking over her expression as Sunghoon sat down slowly with a slight frown, realization hitting him that she meant Jeno. 

So you were considering Jeno all this time. 

“Trust me when I say it was just a suggestion, she seemed conflicted about it first just… try to talk to her when you can, I promise she’ll listen.”

Well, she lied.

Every chance he took to talk to you never seemed to work out for him, from seeing you in the staff lounge to the storage units and printing stations— you were ignoring him, and he knew that. 

Somehow you always finished lunch when it was his turn to have a break or you managed to print all your paperwork magically when he showed up to the storage units after calculating your routes in between classes. It was hopeless. 

“Coach!” 

“Yeah sorry, um you two not going to tutoring today?” Tapping his fingers on the clipboard, Sunghoon could only watch as Jungwon shook his head with a grin knowing he caught his coach dazing off— again. 

“Nope! Ms.Kim said we’re all good with eligibility.” 

“He’s only asking because he wants to walk us to class again… right Coach Park?” Grabbing Niki by his jersey, Sunghoon couldn’t help but pull him into a headlock as the younger boy laughed at the teasing. He wasn’t sure when kids suddenly became aware of feelings; especially his, but if you asked the boys they would’ve said it was obvious from the way his eyes followed you when you were around. Or the way his head turns immediately at the mention of your name by staff or students.

But if you asked Niki thinks its obvious from the way he always volunteers to walk them to tutoring, your tutoring.

“Sunghoon!” Letting go of Niki he turned to see Jeno greeting him coming in from the outside field with the soccer team. Being the main coaches on campus it was expected the both of them would see each other often— unfortunately for him, as the idea that you were somehow considering on pursuing something with Jeno did not sit well with him. Sending him a nod, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the boys greeted their ‘favorite’ math teacher. 

“It’s not that hard to do math you know, I could help the two of you if you need it.” He sighed nonchalantly, crossing his arms as the two scoffed at him chugging their water bottles. “No offense Coach Park but why would we ask you if we have a math teacher who’s willing to tutor us?” Shaking his head Niki walked away leaving Sunghoon gawking, the whistle falling from between his lips as Jungwon shifted on his toes awkwardly. 

“Coach it’s true, plus Mr.Lee is super nice don’t worry! I always see him with Ms.Kim in the morning before class starts— yeah hold up!” Grinning at his teammates he gave Sunghoon one last knowing grin before running off to the others. 

“What do they know about being super nice?” He mumbled, blowing the whistle while motioning towards his assistant coach to go through with another round of cardio. 

It was funny really.

“Do you know today’s date?” Glancing between you working on a few notes and the other teachers talking about their plans for the upcoming school festival, he was grateful for agreeing to participate. Despite being one of the only people in his department to take charge of the role, Sunghoon truly was here to find a chance to talk to you— even if it meant asking for today’s date.

Seeing you weren’t paying much attention to him, he made sure to clear his throat a little louder this time. 

“What’s today’s date?” 

“It’s the twentieth…” Dropping his pen on the table, his jaw clenched hearing Jeno answer instead, his tone slightly annoyed at Sunghoon asking you the same question repreatedly.

“I wasn’t asking you.” He mumbled quietly, causing the latter to roll his eyes as he stated the date for Sunghoon to acknowledge again. 

He didn’t care. 

“What’s today’s date?” Sunghoon asked again, this time directly asking you with a tint of hope in his voice.

“O-oh it’s the twentieth.” You told him with a small smile, going back to answering questions some of the other teachers had about preparation time and supplies. With a successful smug, Sunghoon glanced over at Jeno who shook his head out of bewilderment. 

He found this to be an improvement, hell this was the first thing you’ve said to him since the dinner from over a week ago. “Do you need help with this?” You heard him ask, before you could answer Sunghoon was already grabbing the boxes you were carrying back to the paperwork room. 

“Yeah, you can just leave them here.” You pointed out, an awkward grin on your lips knowing the last time you spoke to him wasn’t the friendliest. 

“Hey I’m sorry about last time, I shouldn’t have blown up on you the way I did so I apologize—”

“No you shouldn’t apologize I sort of antagonized you so I’m the one who should be saying sorry.” He interjected, bringing his hands up in an attempt to stop you from interrupting him with a small huff. 

“Sunghoon I just don’t want us to be fighting anymore, it’s been so long we should both just get over it— I’m ready to forget about it if you are.” thinking it was the best solution you huffed softly seeing Sunghoon slowly nod shoving his hands in his pockets with a slight frown. 

“Is this not what you wanted?” Seeing him slowly bring his gaze up to yours, you released a relieved sigh as he nodded quietly. 

“Yeah I really do Y/N.” With a small smile, you nodded as the sound of other teachers down the hall interrupted the two of you. 

“Great because I’m gonna need a lot of help for the upcoming festival.” You pointed out, standing beside him letting the other staff walk into the room past you with a grin. 

“And I’ll be there to help you, always.” You heard him mumble beside you, heart fluttering lightly as your fingers gripped the fabric of your pants. 

You weren’t sure if your olive branch was going to do much in effort when it came to Sunghoon but— the two of you were now on good terms, really good terms to say. 

Maybe it was the effort of meeting up before or after school to brainstorm ideas for the festival but apart of you felt somewhat displeased. It was stupid really, you were upset when he was too caught up in the past with what happened, but now you were slightly displeased at the fact he was willing to forget everything just like that. 

Complicated— you knew. 

The sudden knock against the wood door made you flinch lightly from your desk as the sight of Sunghoon made you grin. After a few hours of grading papers, you didn’t notice the setting sun and quiet halls. Sunghoon has been coming either before or after school to discuss plans and set up ideas for the festival, when you learned he out of everyone signed up to run his department, a part of you grew in excitement. 

Seeing him at your door right now made you realize that, whether the halls and classes were empty in the bright early mornings or late in the setting sun, part of you felt a bit of self-sorrow. 

It reminded you of the way you were back in college, waiting for each other after classes with exciting smiles and playful hands. If things stayed the way they were, would the two of you have made it this far? Even if the exciting smiles turned into tired ones, and warm hugs replaced the playful ones— you could only leave it up to your imagination.

“Hey.” You whispered, his coming figure making you drop your pen softly. Eyes widening you scoffed as Sunghoon placed a cup of warm coffee on your desk. “I figured you needed a quick coffee break seeing how you’re still working this late.” He sighed, sitting ontop of one of the desk in front of you. 

“You came earlier?” His hum was enough to let you know he did as you were busy in your own world to be bother any further. “Isn’t this the coffee combo I made you before?” Your voice slightly amused as he nodded with a chuckle. 

“Yeah it’s been my go-to since you made me one— I guess you just know exactly what I like.” 

“So I think the class came to a consensus on their final ideas for the festival.” Changing the subject quickly, you failed to realize Sunghoon caught the sight of your eyes wavering, flustered.

“Oh yeah? What did they choose, our class came down to one as well.” Blinking quickly you did your best to remain calm as Sunghoon made his way around your desk beside you, his cologne tickling your nose while trying to ignore the obvious sound of your chair squeaking from scooting back slightly. 

“I-I think they all agreed to do a snack booth.” You replied, focusing your gaze across the room to the lab tables, an attempt to prevent your cheeks from heating up in embarrassment. “The kids chose a photobooth, I think that’s a good combination for our section.” He commented earning a nod from you. 

The feeling of something fluttering against your hair made you to flinch until the calluses of Sunghoon’s fingers caressing a few strands of hair came into view. 

“Stop overworking yourself.” he whispered. 

“I’m not Sunghoon I’m just behind on a few assignments is all.” You reasoned, leaning back into your seat as his fingers continued to play through your loose strands of hair. Being alone for so long, you often forget what it’s like to have someone asking you from time to time to slow down.

But to Sunghoon it was just one of your habits he knew you couldn’t get rid of, meticulous and compassionate to what you put your mind to, that was what he loved about you. But he knew it was important to put a limit on that habit. He knew you didn’t like people critiquing your work style as it was what you were used to— a small detail he noted back when you grew frustrated at the professor for telling you to take a break.

“Okay I believe you.” He sighed in a whisper, fingers still brushing the side of your face before continuing. 

“Just remember to rest from time to time… sleep can’t wait but graded assignments can.” he reasoned making you giggle slightly at how unserious he was with a nod. 

“The kids wanted me to let you know they’re expecting to see you at the game this Friday— especially Niki.” he brought up, leaning an arm against the head of your chair as you looked up at him confused. You haven’t been to any of the school games on campus, to be fair any games really since back in college when you went to support Sunghoon. 

“I think it’ll be important for them that their favorite teacher is there so think about it.” you heard him say, he knew you had a soft spot for the boys and they had one for you.  

And so here you were, after days of debating whether you were going to show up or not, you found yourself standing in your classroom overlooking the line of supporters outside the entrance to the gym. 

The moment you step foot onto the court, you noticed the home side of the bleachers were lined with hand-painted posters and school-colored streamers hanging from the ceiling of the gym, visible around the poles of the bleachers and floor of the gym. The loud cheering from the student section and low percussion from the band brought a smile to your face, it felt familiar yet so unfamiliar.

“Ms. Kim?” Smiling at the flushed boy you waved at him as he called over for the taller one with a grin. 

“You made it! I didn’t think you were coming,” Niki exclaimed with a towel wrapped around his neck. 

“Of course I came! You know I have some basketball knowledge up my sleeve.” you winked as two of them laughed feeling you pat them on the shoulder in encouragement. You recognized many students from class and coworkers with anticipating expressions, being one of the biggest games this season the energy was high, high in excitement and pressure. 

Trailing your eyes across the gym, it was a surprise to see so many people from the enemy team seated on the opposite side, school colors contrasting against each other as the tension grew on the court. Before you knew it, a grin ghosted on your face as your wondering gaze paused on Sunghoon; dressed in his suit with his clipboard in hand and a pen in the other. His brows were pulled into a frown behind his styled locks looking across the court to the other coach with a scowl, typical competitive Sunghoon.

You didn’t know what but something made you nervous, maybe it was because haven’t been in this type of environment in so long? Or maybe you were feeling the the stress from all the players on the sideline.

The moment his eyes met yours, it was like seeing him for the first time again at his game. 

Nostalgia, you were nervous because you knew coming here would’ve made you reminisce on all the good times you had with him those years ago. 

You were shown nostalgia was the hearts way of reminding you of what you once loved, what you once cherished. It wasn’t like someone told you, you learned to acknowledge it over the years. 

Through your favorite song that oftened played on the radio station you two enjoyed, Goodnight Radio. Photos and scents… nostalgia seemed to have always traveled to you, leaving a bittersweet feeling as sometimes happy memories make you sad–- despite the intended meaning of those words.

You gave him a shy smile, Sunghoon’s grin widening as he nodded in acknowledgement ignoring the looks of Niki and Jungwon glancing between you two. Finding your seat amongst the students, you were happy most of them greeted you with enthusiasm, partly shocked to see you here in the first place. 

“I’m surprised to see you here. Not really since I knew you’d come.” Sunghoon called out to you from the benches, yelling over the loud crowd in excitement as the band performance was coming to an end. You knew how important this was for Sunghoon, coming from a background where he was once in their position— this was a big game for him. 

Sure, you knew it would reflect on him as this was his first game as the coach, but you knew how important it was to him to win, for the team and for himself. 

“And who would I be not coming to support my students?” You yelled back, his smirk widening as he flung his clipboard towards the assistant coach who flinched, you figured he’d be used to that by now. His cheeky grin complimented his smiling eyes and it made you realize this was were Sunghoon belonged, on the court where he always called home.

As the game continued, you knew it was going to be an even game— with the team leading alongside a new coach, it was expected for a few mistake calls here and there. But being against a long time rival defending their wining title, everyone was tense throughout the first half. With the crowd growing weary you could see the stress seeping through Sunghoons stern expression. 

You couldn’t help but dismay your feelings aside noting Sunghoon motioning Niki in with a frown, he’s been missing all his shots and making many out of play moves costing the team points and fouls. Flopping on the bench, the boy was told to calm down by Sunghoon who went back to strategizing with the team with a tight frown on his face. 

With his head hung low and chest heaving— you stood up making your way down to the benches, away from the rest of the team where Niki was sitting.

“Niki.” Whispering to him, you heart melted seeing his upset expression under the towel draped around his head. He reminded you a lot of your brother back then, passionate and driven by the game but also very emotional in the heat of the moment; that could lead to some bumps in the road— you knew better than anyone growing up with it. 

“Ms. Kim I keep messing it up for the team.” You heard him groan, his fingers tightly intertwined trying to blur out the loud crowd from all around. 

“It’s not just your fault Niki, like you said it’s a team… you win as a team you lose as a team—and you mess up as a team.” Nodding slowly you grinned seeing him losen the tight grip on his fingers.  

“You know Sunghoon only benched you because you were getting upset, not because you’re bad. The last thing he wants is for you to put the blame all on yourself….but he shouldn’t have made that three pointer call if you want to point fingers.” You chuckled, grateful to see his smile again despite the sweat lining his hair. You noted the way his eyes flickered back to the group of players— huddled together as Sunghoon was desperately trying to keep his team together. 

____________

“You guys we can still win the game we just need to calm down and rethink our strats.” Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel anxious at the sight of the scoreboard before them, they were ten points down and one of his best players is sitting out for the rest of the quarter for his own sake. He knew how they felt, the pressure to perform well and to win against one of the biggest rivals this year, he saw himself in many of the players on his team.

But instead of forcing them to go through the burden and anger he grew familiar with, he knew it was the right thing to do seeing how upset Niki was getting both on and off the court. 

“Coach we need Niki— he’s usually the one leading all the plays down the court, it’s gonna be hard to get past their defense.” Jungwon breathlessly stated. 

“ I know but I’m not gonna force him to play when he’s spiraling, we’re just gonna have to play around not having him in the formation.” From his peripheral, his eyes caught your figure rushing back into the crowd— sitting amongst the other students and supporters with a heartfelt expression.

“Coach Park!” 

Seeing Niki rush over, he was surprised to see a smile plastered across his flushed face. 

“I can play Coach, I’m good.” despite his reassurance Sunghoon was still skeptical noting he wasn’t this spirited a few minutes ago. “Niki I’m not sure if—”

“Coach I didn’t come to play today just to lose.” he made sure to emphasize, and it all clicked for him— a familiar phrase that rang in his ear like bells. 

‘I didn’t come just to see you lose.’ 

It was a joke you’ve always said to him before his games to shake the nerves off his shoulders, even through the wins and losses he knew you were there to support him regardless of the results, and a part of him missed that. It was just something that ticked his heart a bit from the memories.

Bringing his gaze to yours, despite the rather obvious intent to look away— you knew Sunghoon understood your intent; he needed to give Niki the reassurance you gave him.

“Okay, I believe in you but you gotta believe in yourself kid—all of you do.” grinning at the team, Sunghoon felt relieved to see everyone jump in excitement despite the fatigue that overtook their faces not long before this. With less than a quarter left, he knew this was the last push both physically and mentally for the boys— with the whistle blowing the sound of the crowd grew both in excitement once again.

Niki was in a whole different state of mind compared to before the timeout, with both him and Jungwon finally on the same page; gaining points back was easy. However, with the other team being the best of the best, the score was still close— too close. With the clock ticking down and the difference being two points, either the team had to score a three-pointer or prevent the rival team from tieing.

“Niki go, run!” you suddenly exclaimed, ignoring the looks from those around as you could see the thoughts running through his mind faster than his feet were. With his fingers gripping the ball, you could feel your own gripping your pants. This was it. The adrenaline, the rush, the quick silence as everyone held their breath down to the last millisecond.

This was what you missed. 

A wide smile made its way to your face, seeing Niki and Jungwon jumping in both happiness and exhaustion as the students ran to the court to celebrate with them— you could only smile. 

They won, despite being the underdogs; they won fair and square. Nodding in satisfaction, you gave both of them a proud thumbs up as the both of them kept waving towards you in the crowd. If you were a little younger you would’ve found yourself down there with them.

But despite the happy occasion, it felt bittersweet. You were happy, so happy for the team but you didn’t want the neglected feelings you’ve tried so hard to push away overtake the joyousness you should be feeling. 

What should you be feeling? 

What were you feeling?

“Y/N!” Turning towards a familiar voice, your heart shunk realizing why the dread you’ve been feeling for the past couple weeks have been eating you up inside. 

“We did it! They did it.” Sunghoon grinned down towards you in joy. 

You noticed it that one evening— you could still see the Sunghoon you met in college, filled with drive and passion both in basketball and life. He wanted to do a lot of things, visit a lot of places, and accomplish a lot of things. You’ve never admitted it but, it tore you up inside wondering if he ever wanted you to be a part of that.

Has he been well since then?

Did he still think of you the way you thought of him?

Were over-easy eggs with a pinch of salt and garlic still his favorite?

What you and he had, is it gone— forever? You never admitted it, but he always lingered in the back of your mind without effort.

“What’s wrong?” You heard him ask you, shaking your head you held back a small cry trying to pass it off as being emotional for the boys. Your response was hushed out by the loud crowd while your eyes trailed to focus on something else other than Sunghoon who recongized that small glint in your gaze.

“Well I think we can thank you for talking some sense into Niki.” he blurted out, making you shake your head in defiance still admiring the confetti falling from above with a small smile. Sunghoon couldn’t help but admire the way your glossy eyes shimmered from the silver confetti falling above, they looked like the stars he used name in his head while stargazing with you on the campus lawn. 

“I owe you one— after this actually if that’s okay.” 

What you didn’t expect was Sunghoon secretly picking you up after the game behind the school. With kids celebrating in the main parking lot and on the field, the last thing you wanted was for a rumor to start about the science teacher and coach leaving with each other after the game. 

“Sorry did you wait long?” he whispered unlocking the door for you, shaking your head with a chuckle you slid in leaving your things in the backseat swiftly. 

“Are you picking a place to eat this time?” you grinned softly, his laugh echoing lightly throughout the car as he quickly pulled out of the parking lot passing by familiar faces you’ve seen in the halls. 

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a treat if you did all the work— did anyone see you?” He asked, eyeing you from his peripheral with a finger tapping the wheel. 

“No only a few teachers left through the back but other than that just Jeno.” you hummed. 

“Jeno?” he whispered, grip tightening on the wheel slightly making you bite back a grin unconsciously. “Mhm, he even asked if I needed any help going to where I needed to go.” you sighed nonchalantly, his occasional glances turning into full head turns— waiting for you to continue. 

“Did you tell him you were taking the bus?” His perplexed tone makes you giggle slightly as you continue to admire the colorful lights blending outside of the window. Sunghoon could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat waiting for your response, with your head turned the other way he wasn’t sure what to think.

“Nope I told him I was going with you,” A smile broke across his face after realization hit him that you had no problem telling Jeno who you were with, and it was with him— silly he figured but it made his ego swell and cheeks heat. 

“Hey eyes on the road sir.” You playfully reminded him, pushing a finger into his dimple softly causing him to clear his throat in embarrassment —coughing nonchalantly to hide his giddiness.

After pulling into the destination, Sunghoon held a hand out to grab as you confusingly looked at him and then the empty parking lot you were standing in. 

“I was planning on taking you to a nice restaurant worth half of my paycheck but I figured you would’ve liked this a lot better.” he grinned cheekily, closing the trunk with a bag of take-out in one hand and alcohol in the other. Leading you up the stairs, your eyes widened slightly taking in the bright city skyline and busy traffic. 

“It’s not the prettiest but I think it’s still pretty.” He sighed, straightening a small towel he took from the locker room on one of the cemented platforms for you to sit on. 

“No Sunghoon it’s beautiful.” You whispered in a hush, leaning against the cemented edge with your elbows admiring the breeze from this high up, “Seriously.” you weren’t sure why but the view brought a content smile to your lips, after working nonstop for quite a while— you sometimes forget you step back and enjoy the moment. You learned to find the small and ordinary things beautiful, the lining car lights twinkling in the distance to the cicadas singing in the breeze.

Things will continue on in the world whether you comply to that idea or not, and it’s okay.

After perfecting his set up Sunghoon was glad you weren’t too picky about the setting, but you never were. Seeing you stare out to the view in fascination was a reason why he loved experiencing new things with you, not only was he getting to experience something new— but he was able to see you do as well. He loved it. 

“Yeah— it really is beautiful.” He repeated, your head turning at his agreeance only to see his gaze on you. The tip of his nose slightly red from the cold while his eyes were filled with solace as he looked down at you. 

Your heart was doing that thing again…. 

“Um, so did you decide on takeout? How’d you find the place?” You managed to let out, walking towards the small setup Sunghoon laid out as he rushed over to make sure the towel was still flat for you to sit on. “Y-yeah the boys said it was pretty good so I thought maybe we should try it.” He explained, motioning towards the pack of beer that you excitedly opened up. 

“The boys did?” kids were trendy these days and that could mean one of two things— it was gonna be really good, or just really hyped up. Surprisingly it was pretty good, Sunghoon could be a picky eater from what you remember but he was fully enjoying himself—that could also be from the alcohol. 

By now you were a few shots in, a couple of beer cans opened and a whole box of fried chicken finished. With the cold breeze brushing against your hot cheeks you couldn’t help but glance at Sunghoon from time to time secretly. His styled hair was now messed up slightly from the wind and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol. 

“Sunghoon.” You softly called out, eyes slightly hazed from the can of beer you chugged down wondering if this was a good idea to talk unsober. His low hum sent shivers down your spine as you stared off in the distance towards the twinkling city lights. 

Sunghoon was buzzed, he knew he needed to sober up soon to take you home but the thought of you next to him somehow made him anxious— leading to one too many shots. 

Maybe it was the way you were picking at the empty can between your fingers, or the blank stare off in the distance; he couldn’t tell what you were thinking and it made him wonder. Your somehow sad expression when he found you after the game made him realize one thing, with this time apart he didn’t know how you’ve been at all. 

Were you and your mom still on bad terms? You’ve confided to him one night after he found you crying to yourself when you thought he was asleep, despite how well and proud you presented yourself at school; you never felt good enough which broke his heart. You were sensitive, he knew that— a person who’d rather show off only your happy and good sides despite how polar opposite you might’ve felt.

“Do you regret it?” your small voice broke his thoughts, Sunghoon wasn’t sure if he heard right, the feeling of his heart suddenly dropping along with your solemn expression showed him you were speaking as yourself right now, not as the respective Ms.Kim, not YN from college but you right now in the moment. 

“Regret what?”

With a shaky sigh, you shook your head trying to mask the slight tremor in your voice. 

“I-I don’t know, everything?” You managed to let out, despite everything that happened, you had more good memories to grieve over than the bad—hardly any. Sunghoon was quiet for a while, and it made the thoughts in your mind run for miles wondering why. 

Maybe he did regret it. 

With your mouth gaping slightly the words ‘forget it-–it’s a stupid question’ were at the tip of your tongue. But a part of you knew it wasn’t stupid, it was just closure. 

“You know sometimes I think about it.” He sighed, his voice low from the unexpected question. 

“Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t one of the best things that happened to me Y/N.” you unknowingly let out a shaky sigh, of relief? Content? You were happy to confirm what Sunghoon felt wasn’t a silly fling you tried to convince yourself he saw you as.

Acceptance? With the words ‘we didn’t work out’ solidifying your long-time question of what happened, you were somehow at the same time struggling to accept that this was how things happened. 

We just didn’t work out, despite for how bad you wanted things to— they didn’t.

“Me too—” it was the alcohol. Had to be the alcohol from the way your eyes found his, looking at you with a besotted gaze as warm as the feeling pitting inside. 

“You were mine too.” 

Unable to process what happened next, all you could feel was Sunghoon’s nose brushing against yours while your eyes fluttered on their own. 

His fingertips brushing through your hair and against your jaw had you gasping slightly— had to be the alcohol. The feeling of warmth radiating off his lips had your heart ticking to death, lips so soft you could remember your first shared kiss with Sunghoon under your covers that one night.

His blazer that was on your lap was slipping as the feeling of his chest brushing against yours made you melt inside— it most definitely the alcohol. 

“I regret it.” Your eyes immediately widened, freezing in place not understanding the meaning behind the sudden change in his answer. 

“Fuck I regret it so much Y/N.” he pulled away, running a hand through his locks as your hand slowly falls down on your lap, heart beating loudly from the mix of liquor and your emotions. 

“But you just said you didn’t…” you couldn’t help but notice your voice coming out softly from shock and fear— fear of your worst nightmare coming true. You didn’t realize but a small drop of sadness touched the palm of your hand, a tear. Sunghoon immediately cupped your cheeks whipping them away despite you telling him to let go. 

“No Y/N I meant I regret not reaching out to you after that night at the stupid party— I fucked up.” Your brows furrowed slightly not understanding his confession. 

“I accidentally ran into Naeun a while ago and she told me, everything.” he emphasized, bringing the blazer that was no longer near you back to your lap in a hurry. 

“I was stupid, I was lost, and I ruined everything.” he softly told you, his eyes downcasted towards your hands with remnants of tears that you collected in the past minutes. 

“Did you know her?” his questioning gaze led you to clarify the question further. 

“Did you know the girl you left with that night?” You whispered, playing with your fingers while the wind blew through your hair across your tear-stained skin.  

“What? No Y/N there was no girl… there was never another girl—ever.” He emphasized, turning to you quickly brushing your cheek with his thumb. “I just went outside to see if my friend left and went around the block a few times before talking to Jay…” he explained, hoping you remembered his college friends from that night that could vouch for him. 

Glancing towards Sunghoon your brows furrowed slightly trying to connect the dots, with his soft gaze taking in your reaction you immediately turned to face him as well. 

“And when I came back you were together with Kyungmin—” he cursed slightly his eyes looking into the distance with his brows pulled together. The name was unfamiliar, but you exactly who he was talking about.

“Sunghoon no— I” you denied, shaking your head expressing that you certainly weren’t together with Kyungmin. 

“I know.” he muffled, taking your hand in his before pulling to sit close, the heat from his arm radiating off onto you slightly making it painfully obvious about how close he was to you. Chewing the inside of your cheek, the urge to tell him that you missed him fell at the tip of your tongue—much to your surprise he beat you to it. Bringing your enclasped hands together, a small peck was placed in the center of your dorsal palm, your skin burning with butterflies as a small smile made it’s way to your lips. 

“I missed you so much.” He whispered, his eyes meeting yours filled with solace and sorrow— the moonlight perfectly highlighting the tip of his nose and the darkness of his pupils. 

“I missed you too Hoon.” your small voice making him sigh into your palm almost in content. 

“Missed you too much.” You added seeing his gaze travel across your face made your throat tighten— breathing hitched as the pink of his cheeks and the deep color of his lips became more visible with each passing second.

No matter what happened you realized after meeting Sunghoon again after all these years— you will always find your way back to eachother, back to the person who was meant to have your heart. That’s just how things worked for the both of you.

Two souls such as yourself don’t find eachother by accident or coincidence. 

You could say goodbye to everyone else but not Sunghoon, never Sunghoon. Not when his brown eyes were gazing like you owned his world. His lips pecking your cheek softly as you felt your heart burst in love and jolity.                           

And that feeling of love and jolity continued with each moment of intimacy shared between you two after that night. The secret kisses under the blanket at your condo as he stays the night after only wanting to drop you off after work— to the secret kisses inbetween classes behind the printer in the faculty room and underneath your lab tables.

His slender pinky that would hook onto yours underneath the table during faculty meeting were your favorite, it was quit obvious by the smile ghosting on your lips absentmindedly while Sunghoon swung your intertwined pinkies across his lap. With the festival coming up soon, alot of these sweet moments were limited as the both of you not only had the ending semester work to complete but also responsibilities with the school festival.

But Sunghoon never failed to call you after work, whether you were preparing dinner or getting ready for bed; the chime of your ringtone always brought a smile to your tired expression. 

“Ms.Kim where do you want us to place these chairs?” Twirling the pen between your fingers you motioned for your students to carry the stack of chairs towards the otherside of the court yard. With the festival happening later tonight there were still plenty of tasked to be done and last minute details to perfect before you could call it a day. When hours became one, you were basically running around campus like a crazed chicken to find the missing signs that were needed to complete your photobooth stand.

“Shoot where the hell did I place the signs.” you mumbled, swiftly going to your class that was filled with supplies and crafts done by the students. It was a festive time for the students, exams were over and the holidays were coming up; with the new year came new things to look forward to and the festival was the cherry on top.

“Ow!” You cursed, holding onto your knee that accidentally bumped one of the desk as you rushed to the missing signs that you were looking for. 

“Y/N?” Your eyes instantly darted towards the door seeing an equally disheveled Sunghoon with a box of snacks by his foot, you figured he came up to the class to get supplies as well. 

“Hoon!” you exclaimed softly, getting up from your position noting that despite looking disheveled— Sunghoon was still so handsome. 

“That’s gonna leave a bruise.” he snickered, eyeing the size of your christmas sweater the two of you decided to secretly match with. The memory alone made him smile, the one you initially wanted was out of stock and the next option was two times the size of what you would usually buy. But you looked adorable; slightly flushed from running around, hair was pushed behind the backs of your ears by the headband you were wearing.

“My little reindeer is so cute.” he cheesed, poking your antlers as you looked up to him with a sparkling glimmer in your eyes. Feeling him pull you into his embrace, your arms immediately circled around his wasit, face buried into the wool of his santa sweater as you felt him kiss the top of your crown, whispering a small I missed you inbetween kisses that eventually landed around your face. 

“Everyone did a pretty good job setting up for the festival.” You hummed, looking outside of the window at the twinkling colored lights from down below and the line of people waiting for the festival to begin. 

“Well if it wasn’t for you always on our asses–”

“Sunghoon!” You exclaimed softly, pushing him away as he apologized with a chuckle—reaching to pull you back into his embrace. With your arms leaning against the window, you couldn’t help but smile in silence, silence that was no more filled with pain or acted like a void, it was silence of appreciation. 

“This is kind of familiar don’t you think?” you heard him say beside you, his elbow slightly touching yours against the window as the two of you looked off into the courtyard, a small giggle leaving your lips as he made fun of Jeno for tripping over a few boxes from behind.

Looking up you realized what he meant from his comment as your smile softened at the warm twinkling bulb lights you decorated along the upper rim of your windows.

“Yeah instead this time Jake won’t interrupt us right?” You teased feeling him wrap an arm around your frame trapping you against the window. Leaning down he hummed a thought, his warm breath tickling the apples of your cheeks— the flashes of his friend interrupting his first kiss with you making him chuckle from the thought alone.

“I don’t know wanna try?” Slapping his chest lightly, you couldn’t help but look away shyly, bitting the bottom of your lip at how flustered he was able to make you. Using his free hand, Sunghoon brought your face to look at his again, his fingers tracing the lines of your features while his eyes took in every inch of your face. The two of you gazed at each other again in silence, not saying anything; but it was the kind of nothing that meant and told you all you needed to know once again. 

Sunghoon had a place in your heart you knew was always going to be there. 

“Ms.Kim WOAH–”

Niki.

Pushing Sunghoon away with all your might, you couldn’t help but apologize softly at his taken aback expression as his stumbled back against the lab tables. Clearing his throat as Jungwon and Niki both came rushing in with other students who seemed to have caught the two of you by the window. 

“Y-you were looking for these right? I found them lets go!” grabbing the posters you couldn’t help but curse as the students began talking over you, understanding the situation a little more as Sunghoon smuggly grinned not denying any of the accusations, rubbing the nape of his neck as he took in your flustered expression. 

“Okay okay, I hope everyone here can keep a secret right?” he announced gaining everyone’s attention. Small sounds of disbelief and annoyance echoed throughout the quiet classroom, some of them scoffing at the idea of keep this big of a secret while others were still in shock about their two favorite teachers caught almost kissing.

“If you do I’ll sneak everyone here a breakfast sandwhich for the first day of school after winter break.” he sighed in defeat, grinning in relief as everyone collectively cheered and agreed as one. You quickly told everyone to go down towards the courtyard, as the lines of people began to fill going towards different booths and activities.

“And make sure no one finds out! Actually you can tell Coach Lee I don’t really care.” Sunghoon stated, earning a few chuckles from the students and a glare from you. Shoving the posters towards Jungwon, his dimple came into view as his fond eyes traveled between the you and Sunghoon; a small ‘your secret is safe with me’ making you grin halfheartedly. 

While the room grew quiet, you couldn’t help but snicker slightly as Niki came running back, passing Sunghoon a poster you assumed was a draft or one that was messed up before it was finished. The two of you stood there looking at each other knowing you were caught red handed by your students, gosh this was bad if the board found out. You couldn’t help but notice his grin brightening as you began to freak out at the fact you and Sunghoon almost made out in front of your own kids. 

You were getting fired. Demoted at best, but most definitely fired. This would ruin all the plains you had lining up for your career— THIS was gonna ruin your reputation and—

“Y/N.” pausing mid rant you looked at him and couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout your chest as your shoulders relaxed almost immediately. 

Of course Niki gave him that one specifically. The cutout poster that had a mistletoe drawn just above his head, small hearts and snowflakes lining the borders with the words ‘I like you, from my head to my mistletoe’ written on the bottom. Your laugh echoing through the class as Sunghoon quickly embraced you placing kisses around your face. 

In moments like this is when you realized you were grateful for Sunghoon in more ways than one. When you picture yourself being happy, there are many things that come to mind. Traveling the world to places that have always been on your bucketlist, learning how to cook michelin star dishes that you’ve had at restaurants, you wanted to raise a puppy on your own and even thought about going back to school to get your doctoral degree in science. 

Those were all things you want to do, things you wanted to do with Sunghoon. You weren’t going to make him your sole reason of happiness that’s a little silly, but you smiled more when you were with him, and you realized he understood you more than anyone else has. He made your ordinary moments feel magical and was the kind of person who pushes you to be better, he was your best friend.

In between kisses and embraces Sunghoon never failed to let you know he loved you both in tone and in silence, and he never failed to show you a different side of living that was of course filled with love.

Because that was just who Sunghoon was, someone filled — With Love.

right where you left me — p. jongseong

pairing / non-idol!jay x fem!reader

genre / angst, a bit of fluff at the very start, lovers to strangers, forced marriage au :(

warnings / like, one cuss word..., usage of y/n, i think that's it^^

synopsis / jay always said he'd marry you one day, until suddenly he breaks it off claiming he 'found someone else'. months later, on the day of his wedding, you find a letter slipped under the door of your apartment from none other than the groom to be himself.

author's note / dedicated to my jay obsessed best friend!

“I’m going to marry you one day,” your boyfriend, Jay, said softly with a smile on his face as he shifted in his position lying down together with you on his bed to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

You and Jay have been together for almost two years, and it’s been nothing short of pure bliss. Sure, like any other couple, you two would have the occasional arguments — but rest assured Jay would come knocking on your door with a bouquet and stuffed toy in hand while he asks for your forgiveness.

You let out a light laugh before pressing your lips into a tight smile. “As if your parents would allow that,” you told him as-a-matter-of-factly.

Jay was rich, to put it short. His parents were CEOs of different companies that their parents before them passed down for multiple generations. You, on the other hand, lived a normal and comfortable life. But apparently, it didn’t seem to be enough.

After you met his parents, Jay assured you that they just put up a cold front. Both of you knew he was lying through his teeth.

Jay shook his head. “I don’t care about them. I only want you,” he said before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

A tear rolled down your face as you recalled this memory. It’s only been a year since that sweet exchange of words that you thought secured your relationship for good. You hate how you were wrong.

You let out a dry laugh. “I— I don’t get what you’re talking about. Was it something I did? Come on, Jay. We can talk this out,” you sounded desperate as you shook your head, tears threatening to fall down.

Jay shook his head silently. You thought you almost saw tears pooling around his eyes as well. But to even think that seemed delusional. He seemed so deadset.

“I told you, we just can’t be together anymore,” he still wouldn’t look up to meet your eyes.

“I know, you told me that. But why?”

“It’s not you, it’s me,”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Jay,”

“We just can’t,”

“A reason. You owe me that much—”

“I found someone else,” he said with a tone so final, though the crack in his voice almost made him sound hesitant.

A silence filled the air.

You knew nothing lasted forever. A part of you knew that what you and Jay had going might have shattered one day. 

But he always sounded so sure that you two were something permanent. Something written in the stars. So you pushed that part of pessimism in you to the back of your mind.

Now here he was, taking everything he said, the promises he made, the sweet nothings you shared, and twisting it all around. The part of you, the ugly voice that didn’t believe in the timelessness of the love you and Jay shared mocked you as it boomed with laughter and insults.

“Oh,” you breathed out.

A man in a black suit approached your table in the privately booked restaurant and tapped Jay’s shoulder.

“Sir, it’s time to go. You’re going to be late for your meeting with your parents,” the man hesitated as his stoic face held a hint of sympathy when he glanced at you.

“I’ll be right there,” Jay replied as he picked up the coat from behind his chair.

For the first time in this meeting you two had, he managed to look you in the eye before turning his gaze back downwards.

As he turned around and walked away, you mucked up the courage to ask him a question.

“Do you love her?” You asked, suddenly standing up.

Jay turned around and met your hurt gaze. His stone-cold expression melted slightly at this. He paused for a while taking in your presence with a look that almost seemed pained.

He nodded once his eyes traveled back to meet yours once more. “Yeah,” he breathed. “More than I can say,” he paused before turning back around and leaving.

It’s been five months since you and Jay broke up, and you’ve managed to stop breaking into tears at every reminder of him after the first three.

There was no contact between you two. And it was easier to keep him out of your thoughts that way. But that didn’t mean you stopped thinking about him. It was hard to do so.

You were scrolling through social media on your phone as you rode the elevator going up to your apartment. You exited the lift and got your keys ready with one hand while you kept your phone in the other.

You stopped in your tracks after seeing a headline on twitter.

‘Heir of Park Enterprises, Park Jongseong and daughter of the CEO of Hwang & Yoon Law Firm, Yoon Jiwon: Everyone’s Favorite Newlyweds!’

You took in a sharp breath. You’ve managed to steer clear of any news and media about the couple for a while until today. You pressed the power on your phone to turn it off before making your way to open your apartment door.

As you shut the door behind you, you noticed a cream colored envelope facing downwards with your name and address written on it.

You placed your work bag down before picking up what seemed to be a letter, sitting down on your couch and opening it.

As you unfolded the crisp paper, your eyes landed on the first few words. And you immediately knew who wrote it. The handwriting was one that you could recognize as easily as your own.

Y/n,

I’m writing this the night before my wedding. And you’re all that my thoughts consume. The day we fell in love, a part of me knew that you were the girl of my dreams. The girl I wanted to see once I walked up the stairs to an altar. And tomorrow, that girl isn’t you. I’ve thought about how we broke up, how I left you, every day since it happened five months and fourteen days ago. I never wanted to leave you. But when my parents first gave me the instruction to do so for them to be able to set me up with someone else, I showed apparent impertinence by not following their words, and they were angry with me. They told me that you were a bad influence. That the reason I kept disobeying them was you. So they told me that if I refused their instructions once more, they would’ve done something terrible to you and your family. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t hurt you like that, yet I still ended up causing you pain. I thought that if I said I found someone else and treated it like a normal falling out of love instead of saying the contents of the previous paragraphs, the hurt would last shorter. I proved myself wrong with that. It pained me either way. I hope you move on from me. You deserve better. You deserve someone who would protect you and your loved ones instead of giving up. I’m sorry I couldn’t be just that, and I should’ve. I question myself everyday why I wasn’t. As for me, I know I will never find someone as good as you. Everyone else will always fall short. A part of me has loved you since I first met you, and since then I’ve only fallen in deeper. You’ve consumed my heart and my soul. I love you, Y/n L/n. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop. By the time you read this, the ring meant to be yours settles on the hand of another. But it will never be truly hers. One day, I hope you can find it in you to forgive me for the hurt I’ve caused. Maybe in some other universe, I never would’ve had to leave.

Yours, Jay

You finished the letter with a hand clasped to your mouth in a failed attempt at stopping yourself from crying.

You thought the wound was just starting to scab only for it to turn raw once more.

Jay was right. Maybe in another universe.

author's note / lowkey got emotional writing this ermmm.....

THE GREATEST — TRUE BLUE

[ part one / masterlist / requests are open ]

☽｡⋆ part 2 of THE GREATEST. he tried to live without you, but how is one to survive with a broken heart? a story based on TRUE BLUE by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader (could technically be read as a stand-alone)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, hints of fluff (?) 𝄞 4.1k words

❝ Lights out, you’re not here holding me ❞

Lando had never before felt the way he did the day you left him. Seeing you walk through that door, intending to never come back to him ever again, it pained him. It took him too long to realize how much he hurt you, and now he had to suffer the consequences. He swore it wasn’t on purpose, but when his friends told him that also the third girl he had brought along since you broke up with him resembled you in a way, he stopped denying. There was no use. The guys knew, the internet knew, he knew that he wasn’t yet over you. And he thinks he never will be. You left an empty place in his heart, a place that would forever be reserved for you only and you only. No matter how hard he tried to find someone else, no one would ever be able to replace you.

The girl he brought to the first race after the summer break was long forgotten already.

At first, everyone around him believed him when he said he felt happier now without you. But the moment he went back to his old ways, the heartbreaker they’ve known for so long, they realized he wasn’t. The girls always looked like you. He only rarely smiled anymore and he couldn‘t care less about his friends‘ relationships, even going as far as faking a gag or simply not coming to hang out with them at all. He said it’s because he needs to focus on racing. They knew it was because of you. Lando was yet to tell them why the relationship ended. He’d rather crash his car and DNF in every race for the rest of his life than to ever have to talk about the night you left ever again. He felt embarrassed and bad and was so terribly regretful. Only his parents knew the whole truth. He told them with tears caressing his face just like you once did, and seeing the disappointment in their eyes, he felt his heart rip apart even more. They had loved you so much, only waiting for the day he would finally go down on one knee for you, and now he messed it all up.

If he could just go back and make it all alright. Make you feel unconditionally loved wherever you went, make you happy, keep you happy. He would change it all if he just had the chance, but he knew you deserved better. Maybe one day, he could be better again.

He is ready to give up the very thing for you that had made you leave him that night if you’d ask him to. Racing would never again mean as much to him as you, though broken up, still do to him.

He was currently seated in his McLaren, waiting for the lights to go out so he could try his very best to overtake max at the start already. He should have his mind on the track. He shouldn’t think about you, not here. But like always, he couldn’t help it. He hoped to see you in the stands once he was able to get out of the car again. He hoped to see you wave and smile at him, run into his arms and let him kiss you all over, do all the things he had failed to do so many months ago. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He believed anyway. The lights went out and the cars began moving. He tried his best, he always did, but he wasn‘t afraid to lose anymore; for what was it worth to win a race when he had faced the greatest loss of them all already?

❝ I count every tear down my cheek instead of sheep ❞

You couldn’t sleep. You could never sleep while he was racing. Especially when he was on the other side of the world, which is why you went with him last season, and also at the start of this one. Maybe you never should’ve. Long distance was hard, but you managed. He felt farther away when he was still sleeping next you every night. At least when he didn’t send you off to sleep on the couch.

You tossed and turned in your sleep, but you didn’t dare to turn on the TV. It’s been months, you should try to live without him. Without seeing him. Without feeling for him. His races had nothing to do with you, neither did the outcome. And god, if he wins and you have to watch him kiss someone else again you might as well just take his racing car and drive right into the nearest wall. He’s so far away and yet, it didn’t make you love him any less. You huffed, fear slowly building up inside of you. You knew you shouldn’t do this, you had to wake up early tomorrow and really, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss a race once or twice, but you couldn’t help it. Reaching for the remote, your eyes were flooded with tears and your heart stung like never before when you saw him driving out there. You were rooting for him nonetheless. Just months ago you had watched the races from inside the McLaren hospitality, but now? All alone in your bed, anxiously following his every move. You would never fall asleep like this.

❝ Sleepwalk, find myself on your street. Three knocks, ring the bell, then I leave ❞

And there you stood high up in the stands the next weekend, head hanging low as you didn‘t want any fans of him recognizing you, back in his territory. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but your eyes kept following him around the paddock and didn’t leave him even while he was doing the quick interviews he had to do on his way there. And honestly, it kinda felt like home. Attending the races. Being near him. Being with him. You missed it more than anything else in the world, and you felt pathetic for it. He hurt you every way he could, and still, he didn’t hurt you enough to make you hate him. And you really wanted to hate him.

You went to the race together with one of your friends from uni. You bonded over formula 1 and your shared passion for the sport and quickly became very good friends. However, she had to leave soon, moving to another city for a better starting point for her career. Hence, you decided to save some money and go to a race together for the last time; for now, at least. You still remember the way she looked at you when you told her you were with Lando. The way you swooned over him to her, and the way you cried your eyes out when it all ended. You really thought you‘d be able to spend the rest of your life with him, and now all you had left of him were memories. She‘s known you long enough to immediately notice your longing after him the moment your eyes locked onto his dark brown curls. Your heart fluttered and it made you nauseous. One day this would stop, right? Your feeling must fade at least sometime, or was this all just wishful thinking? Could you not just get over him like everyone else got over their exes and start dating someone new?

Your heart ached. He was so close, not out of reach anymore, not on the other side of the world anymore, but still, there was no way of getting back to him, the crash barriers and the grandstand keeping you away, and it felt like the end of your relationship all over again, with him on the track and you sitting and waiting patiently on the sidelines, always at least an arm length distance between you two. You shouldn’t even want to get him back. You left out a sigh as he walked into the McLaren hospitality, finally out of sight. But still not out of mind.

Your friend huffed next to you, and finally decided to try and convince you to talk to him after the race while you were still in the same place, to get closure at last. You knew it must annoy your friends and maybe even your family that it was so hard for you to just move on. They put effort into understanding, but still, Lando wasn‘t good to you, at least not in the end. Many would treat you better, but you didn‘t seem to care. You quickly shook your head no, telling her how he probably didn’t want to talk to you and that catching him after the race would be nearly impossible, with bodyguards and tons and tons of interviewers and cameras around him.

The conversation ended soon after, as the lights went out and the drivers hit the gas. You pondered for a second, reconsidering your friend‘s suggestion, a weird feeling building up in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe you should *leave* after the race and never look back. But to your dismay, every sense in your body was telling you to stay.

❝ I try to live in black and white but I’m so blue ❞

The race went well, but he didn‘t really care. Of course he was happy, the whole team was euphoric for their two drivers who secured place 2 and 4, huge smiles plastered on their faces. Once he was done with the post-race interviews he left to go back and get some rest inside his apartment, at least until the others came around to drag him to the afterparty, slandering from one club into the next one.

Everything felt so lonely without you. His bed was cold even when he was hidden under his blanket, and the dining room was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn‘t spending his evenings with you. Watching TV got boring. Everything got boring. He didn’t even know why he lost you anymore, he didn’t know what the hell it was that made him believe you weren’t made for him, making him believe there was actually something more important than you in this lifetime. You haunted his every thought, and even though he truly only wanted the best for you, deep inside him, he wanted you to still need him as well.

He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, gently buttoning up his shirt like you used to do, always leaving the 3 highest ones unbuttoned. He missed your touch, your eyes looking up at him and your hands always reaching for his. His arms would be wrapped around your waist and his head would be leaning on your shoulder, sneaking a few, small kisses up your neck as you changed your earrings for the night, the imagine of it painted onto your fast beating heart as you stood in front of the full-body mirror in your apartment, finishing up your accessoires. You wore a blue dress that covered your thighs, not reaching your knees. It hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your features. It used to be Lando‘s favourite, but you had no other alternative, not having brought any other dresses. Your friend insisted on going clubbing anyway, desperately wanting to finally get him off your mind for one night at least.

The other drivers were loud and happy and drunk and Lando sat next to them, staring at his already empty glass. He knew how this would go. At some point, either the drivers or one of their girls would tap his shoulder, saying they have a friend they think he would really like, and if he would like to be introduced to her. He would agree so they would finally keep their mouths shut, he would talk to the girl. Maybe they would kiss if he drank enough. Maybe he would take her home. Maybe he would think about you the whole time, maybe he would accidentally call her your name. Maybe he would wake up in the morning and would be happy that she‘d left, content with it only being a one-time thing and not meaning anything.

Because, in the end, nothing meant anything without you.

He pretended to laugh at the jokes of his friends, but really, none of this was fun to him. These nights were nothing more than a constant reminder of how he used to have his fun while you were waiting for him at home, cold and sad and alone. How could he be so stupid and leave you alone all the time? He doesn’t even know why he did it anymore. He yawned, very obviously not enjoying the party. Yes, it was nice seeing his friends so happy, the mood wasn’t as tense as it was around and on the track and the people inside the night club were vivid, dancing and drinking, seemingly having the time of their life downing countless beverages, but still, the happiness didn’t reach him.

“Dude, I think your girl‘s here.“ Oscar pushed him slightly, two vodka bull in hand for himself and Lily. Lando didn’t pay him any mind and rolled his eyes, not really in the mood for talking to any girl that isn’t you at the moment. Couldn’t they just give up? He wasn’t ready yet for someone else, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with someone that isn’t you at all. Ever. Instead of arguing with Oscar about how he didn’t want to hear from any other girl right now, he went to get another drink as well.

He pushed through the dense crowd of people, navigating through the cacophony of laughter and piercing yelling that seemed to echo from all directions. The deafening loud music blasting through his ears made it difficult to focus, and the harsh sound of glass clunking together only added to it. The colorful LED lights rapidly switched from green to red to purple to yellow in a matter of seconds, creating a dizzying light show that overwhelmed his vision. This sensory onslaught of sounds, sights, and sensations overstimulated his senses, making each step forward feel like an effort.

Finally at his destination, he waited for the waiter or waitress, he wasn’t quite sure, to get his order. He wasn’t certain what his plan was that night at all. Sleeping around or not, you wouldn’t stop haunting his mind anyway, so was it really worth it? Getting drunk and trying to make his nights feel less lonesome? Or should he just wait and really focus on his carrer again until maybe, one day, you’d come back?

He ignored the possibilty of you not coming back at all.

He let his eyes wander around the scene unfolding in front of him, occasionally making eye contact with random girls who winked at him and tried to get his attention, but he didn’t pay them any mind. Frustration started to bubble up inside of him as the wait for his drink seemed to go on for forever, until suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.

Lando was certain that in a room full of people, he would always be able to notice you first. He pondered if it was you whenever he‘d walk by a girl with the same hair colour as you, immediately dismissing the thought when he saw a face that didn’t match yours just a second later. But this time, it was different. The hair ressembled yours without a doubt, and of course he remembered the dress he had bought for you so long ago; never once had he been able to keep his hands to himself when you wore it. The height matched you perfectly as well. But it couldn’t be you, right?

Oscar‘s words replayed in his mind and he finally understood what he meant. Who he meant.

It was really you.

You tried to enjoy the party, but you really weren’t doing so well. Your friend had left you near the bar, thinking you’d be hitting it off with a guy you’ve been talking to for some time, but that wasn’t the case. he left just five minutes after to go home, asking if you’d like to come with him. You denied, but your friend was nowhere to be found, having found someone in this club herself. It was scary being alone in a club full of drunk, intoxicated people, even more so when you sensed someone staring at you from behind. You didn’t have to worry about things like that when you were still with Lando, with him always stuck to your side, a protective arm hanging around your shoulders. you shuddered at the thought, and dared to turn around to find the very person who was looking at you so steadily.

And then you locked eyes.

The world suddenly went quiet. All the chaos, the noise, it all faded into the background, no sound to be heard other than the synchronised, rapid beating of your heart. It seemed as if the only two people in that room were you and him, only the void surrounding the two of you. The LEDs turned blue, engulfing you and him, the light accentuating your features and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to, stuck in a trance of what this could mean for him in the future; what this could mean for you both. Time seemed to stand still. He wanted to run to you, to hold you, to tell you how much he missed you, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. His breath hitched and so did yours, all the yearning, all the longing hitting you and him at lightspeed.

You walked towards him, each step filled with electricity. The tension was palpable, his mouth agape as you stood in front of him, only centimeters away from closing the gap between you. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize, so many things he wanted to make right, but he didn‘t dare to say things first, afraid too scare you off. The last thing he wanted is for you to leave him again.

“I didn‘t know you‘d be here, thought I‘d seen Oscar but I wasn‘t sure,“ you started, stumbling over your own words, laughing awkwardly, then biting your lip right after. He noticed, because you always did that when you were nervous; you’d done it too when you broke up with him. You wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie, one he could look right through of. You just couldn‘t process actually being in his presence again.

“You still wear the dress?“

“It‘s, uhm, quite pretty, so yeah.“ You nodded along to your own words, gulping at the tense and awkward silence right after, looking down at your shoes, the sight of him in this light still not leaving your mind. Maybe he didn‘t even feel the same way, maybe he didn‘t even want to talk to you. Maybe you already made a fool of yourself when you made your way over to him, maybe you really should‘ve just stayed at home. But at the same time, this is what you‘d hoped for this whole time. To finally see him again.

“I‘m so sorry for what I did to you, y/n, please believe me. E-Ever since you left, I couldn‘t stop thinking about you. Not once. I tried to move on, y‘know, would probably be better for you as well, ‘cause you deserve better than how I‘ve treated you at the end and I don‘t want to have to put you through that again but I just- I miss you so much, I don‘t know what to do! And now you‘re here and I swear I‘ve been waiting for a moment like this and-,“ he stopped for a second, heavy and shaky breaths filling the silence, „If giving up racing means you‘ll let me come back to you, I‘ll do it.“

Your teary eyes widened and you looked up at him again, staring into his. One could take it as an empty promise. But you knew better than anyone else that Lando wasn’t one to joke about racing, ever. “Lando you can’t just- I- I mean, racing? It didn‘t work before Lan I just- don‘t give up your dreams for me, please? You shouldn‘t, you have so much ahead of you still,“ you sighed out, every single part of your body overwhelmed like never before.

But Lando was certain. He traced every yet so small feature of your face and body with his eyes, and he knew in that exact moment that, no matter what, he could never lose you again. Not this time. Not when fate hat somehow brought you together once again, giving him a second chance to make it all better. Question was now if you’d let him have that second chance too.

He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear running down your cheek, having you lean into his familiar touch. “I’ll do it for you”, he said, and that was when you broke apart, legs feeling numb and wobbly suddenly. Tears streamed down your face as you took another step forward and he wrapped his arms around your body out of reflex, gently placing soft kisses on top of your head, tearing up as well as your cried into his chest.

Maybe it was bad, maybe you shouldn’t feel like this again, but you’ve never once after the breakup felt as at peace with yourself and your as you did now, even if you were in a loud and busy club, surrounded by drunk and high people. You managed to push them to the back of your mind, the familiar scent of Lando’s perfume calming your senses. It felt like home. Maybe he really did owe you something, and though you once were anguished because of it, you wouldn’t ever deprive him of the joy of racing. There would be a way through it without having to abandon any of your or his dreams. There must be if you want it to work out, and you were sure that this time, it would. And so was he.

Lando took you home with him that night, not before you shot your friend a quick text message, afraid she might think you were kidnapped or whatnot. You knew that you’d have to fly home again in two days. He knew that too, but there was no need to rush things anyway. You were still his and he was still yours, and that’s all that mattered for now. It’s gonna be weird explaining this to your friends and your family, but neither of you minded it as long as it meant you could be with each other again. You would have to talk things through and see how you’d manage the race weekends and the events and the media - but not now. Now, with you calmly and lightly snoring in his arms, he didn’t care about any of that, simply content with having you again.

He promised you before you drifted off into your tranquil slumber that he will make it right this time. He will be there for you no matter what, he will defend you and take you with him and show you off and love you like already should have done all these months ago. This time, he will put in the work and the appreciation and the effort, and then, you will finally be able to be the greatest.

❝ I’d like to mean it when I say I’m over you, but that’s still not true. ❞

taglist for part 2 of the greatest : @mrs-saturday @tylerstacobell @angeltroian @acesbakery @directioner5life @malynn @escuellasceramicdollie @strangetoadroadbat @norrisdriver @aliceisnuts @carlando4 @f1fantasys @no-144444 @belivisa @callsignwidow @cruzgrecia @ifsoniacouldfly @wony6ung @hurtblossom @faeriepigeons @interlagos @xnatqq @fanficweasley @youreintheclubb @chaimaarouaine11 @idgasb @cruzgrecia @madstxo @trisharee (basically everyone who commented vv sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!)

𝗛𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗦 | hyung line pj

enhypen hyung line as angst love tropes.

GENRE: angst, heartbreak, sadness, crying (in general, they’re all sad oneshots).

a/n: this is a master list for my new project called “hundred broken hearts”. all the fics are on progress, some more than others, so i’m asking you to be patient and to please COMMENT & REBLOG to share. thank you 🩷

𝗙𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 (l.hs)

right person, wrong time.

PAIRING: idol!heeseung x reader (f)

SUMMARY: when you were a child, you had always believed your life was a fairytale, but as you grew up you realised it was just a childish thought. because your story didn’t end with happily ever after.

WARNINGS: heartbreak, break up, heeseung barely has time for reader, he’s a little in denial, reader tries to be strong for the both of them, angst, more to be added.

PUBLISHED: soon.

WC: 2.4k for now.

TAGLIST: open.

NOW PLAYING: Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗨𝗦 (p.js)

forbidden love

PAIRING: goldenboy!jay x rival!reader (f)

SUMMARY: you wished you could frame time when you bickered about grades and assignments, not when the reality of the situation made it impossible for you to be together. because even in the quiet of your heartbreak, one truth remained, you would never stop loving him.

WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety attacks, rivalry in high school, they come from different worlds, break up, angst, crying, more to be added.

PUBLISHED: soon.

WC: 2k for now.

TAGLIST: open.

NOW PLAYING: What About Us by P!nk

𝗬𝗢𝗨’𝗥𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗘 (s.jy)

unrequited love (but is it really?)

PAIRING: bestfriend!jake x reader (f)

SUMMARY: you’d loved him quietly for so long, it felt like a part of who you were. but love, when unspoken, had a way of festering. it filled the silences, lingered in the spaces between you, and left you questioning everything.

WARNINGS: heartbreak, too little communication (barely one at all), reader watches from afar, jake is kinda a f boy (but make it romantically, lol), if only they confessed they’d be happy, more to be added.

PUBLISHED: soon.

WC: 1k for now.

TAGLIST: open.

𝗘𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨 (p.sh)

falling out of love

PAIRING: sunghoon x reader (f)

SUMMARY: you used to think love was unshakable, that once you had it, it would always be enough. but with sunghoon, you realized love faded slowly, like a photograph left too long in the sun.

WARNINGS: established relationship, angst, break up, sunghoon doesn’t love reader anymore, more to be added.

PUBLISHED: soon.

WC: 1.3k for now.

TAGLIST: open.

NOW PLAYING: enough for you by Olivia Rodrigo

(permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @jwnghyuns @bangtancultsposts @shawnyle @jooniesbears-blog @skzenhalove @ro-diaries @onlyhyunjin @xcosmi @strawberrhypen @heeheeswifey @destinyhoon @jakeflvrz @emislove @astratlantis @tunafishyfishylike @branchrkive @insommni4 @kirinaa08 @leiclerc @nxzz-skz @laurradoesloveu @beomluvrr @heeshlove @17ericas @riribelle

FORBIDDEN ATTRACTION ( MASTERLIST ) ┊ ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE

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hogwarts au ┊ wizards!enhypen x witch!reader

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SUMMARY ┊ your life at hogwarts couldn’t be more perfect; you’ve got high grades, an envied social life and everyone’s eyes are always on you. a good reputation is what matters in this school, and you certainly have it. so nothing will happen to you if you end up fucking the hottest guys of each house - right?

WARNINGS ┊ better listed in each chapter. but of course heavy, heavy SMUT. and the main character is anything but a sweet girl. also, enha represent their houses in a stereotypical way sooo beware of a very proud heeseung and a very mean jay. but keep an eye on a very nerdy sunghoon and a very innocent (or not?) jake too ;)

FIND CHAPTERS BELOW !

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001. PARK SUNGHOON ┊ “THAT’S THE HELP YOU NEEDED, HUH?”

when your best friend sunoo challenges you with a bet, you already know that refusing is not an option. although he’s confident that you’re never going to win. not when the bet – and its prize – revolves around none other than the studious prefect of ravenclaw – park sunghoon.

but all you need is a study session, breaking some rule and you know you’ll get his undivided attention.

CHAPTER COMING SOON…

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002. SIM JAKE ┊ “THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU EXPECTED, RIGHT?”

rumors at hogwarts run fast, most of them revolving about the most popular boys. however, your mind seems to be stuck on one particular rumor you’ve once heard in the girls bathroom (and you took it as an universal truth). “jake sim, the hufflepuff boy. you know him right? sweet, angel face? well, he fucks like an animal” you heard a girl saying.

and now more than ever you want to test that theory. just like any potion needs its recipe, like any spell needs its practise, you have to know if jake sim is all you need to feel good.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

003. LEE HEESEUNG ┊ “ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?”

if anyone was more popular than you at hogwarts, that person had to be lee heeseung – the young quidditch prodigy who has every girl at his feet and every boy following him like his puppies.

and it doesn’t help that he’s so full of himself – a true gryffindor. especially since he’s so sure that he will win you over, no matter what. and you’re not blind, you can see how attractive he is. and perhaps you should feel honoured that he wants no one but you.

but should you give up so easily? or maybe play with him your own way?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

004. PARK JAY ┊ “YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?”

jay park has to be the most irritating person you’ve ever met in your entire life. he seems to have a personal mission to make your life a living hell - as if being your rival in… well, everything, isn’t enough!

he’s top of his classes, the most promising wizard of your year and a heartthrob who’s only aim in life is to be better than you. maybe that’s part of his nature - being a pureblood slytherin surely shaped him to be a certain way.

or maybe it’s just you. you, the constant thought in his head, the cause of his frustrations and of his relentless lust you awaken in him whenever you challenge him.

maybe you should just… find a solution for your pent up feelings.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

Down Bad

pairing: Lando Norris x reader, but the point of the story is that Max is madly in love - which is one-sided

summary: Lando starts dating a woman he loves more than anything, but when Max gets to know you, he has to realize that he needs you like air.

warnings: stupid behavior, intoxication. Oh, and it's unedited.

It was quite ridiculous how Lando’s shoulder began to hurt after a bad move he made while golfing. Max knew an injury was in the cards with every sport, but this? This involuntarily made him laugh when his friend wasn’t around. Not because he was rude, he just always imagined golf to be relatively safe. Hitting a ball that was still on the ground didn’t sound nearly as dangerous as driving an F1 car. 

Then Lando went to see a physiotherapist specialized in helping athletes to fix the problem, and the Dutch had to listen to endless stories about how much you helped him, how beautiful you were, how kind you were with every single person who came for your help, and how amazing your sense of humor was. After three months it became quite tiring, but he never complained. This little crush made Lando happy, and as long as he felt that way, he was willing to listen.

He never told him your full name, and he didn’t show any photos, as if you were his precious little secret, someone who he decided to shelter from this part of his life. It became obvious that this was the case when therapy was over and he asked you out on a date. You hesitated, telling him that his life was too much for you, you didn’t want to be someone the media and fans talked about, so he promised to make sure you could stay away from the circus. 

It was only four months into your relationship, just at the beginning of the summer break, that Max got to meet you in person. Lando jumped in with you by his side, saying you were having lunch nearby and he had to ask him something that couldn’t wait. This is when the trouble began, the moment you flashed that friendly smile at him as you shook his hand. His eyes always found their way back to you during the conversation, watching you even when it was your boyfriend talking. 

Because you were naturally beautiful. You looked nothing like those girls in the paddock with their heavy makeup and designer clothes, you looked perfectly normal and down-to-earth. Your voice was like music to his ears, just like a siren’s song that made him want to get on his knees in front of you to confess his undying love for you. How could you have such a strong effect on him? Was it because he had already known so much about you thanks to Lando’s stories? Or was it something else? Was it love at first sight?

Things only got worse with time. Lando began to ease you into events that involved his friends from the paddock, so Max saw you on a regular basis during the break. And every single time he found himself back home drunk and alone, lying on his bed with his hand inside his jeans as he touched himself at the thought of you, his moans muffled by the pillow he bit on. He imagined you coming home with him, showing him how much you loved him, wanted him. And every single time he was cleaning up his mess, he felt ashamed for thinking about his friend’s girlfriend like this. 

One day he was over at Lando’s place, sitting in front of his friend’s computer to log into one of his accounts when you walked in with two glasses of lemonade and handed one to each of them. Max only flashed a thankful smile at you before turning back to the screen, hoping this would avert his thoughts for a while. But just as he began to type something, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and he smelled your sweet perfume, which was followed by a short laugh next to his ear. When he turned his head to look at you, his breath caught in his throat. 

“Is that really how you type?” you asked with a teasing smile. When he nodded with a confused look on his face and asked you why, you just straightened up and shrugged. “My fifty-six year old aunt types faster than this, and she sees a keyboard like twice a month.”

He had no idea how to react. He knew it was a joke, and he knew you didn’t mean to offend him, but deep down he only wanted to hear you compliment him, he needed to know if you thought he did something right. He wanted to impress you, he wanted you to be proud of him. But then Lando began to chuckle as he walked closer and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you against his body. 

“You should give him lessons, baby,” he suggested as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek. Then he turned back to Max. “She’s crazy fast when it comes to typing. I have absolutely no idea how she does it, but it’s amazing.”

Max took a deep breath and forced a smile on his face. He wanted to say something, maybe crack a joke, but nothing came to his mind. Lando was in love with you, it was painfully obvious, and you seemed equally enamored with him. How could he compete with that? So he quickly finished what he was doing, logged out from everywhere, then said goodbye and went home to figure out what to do now. 

His home race was just around the corner, he had to get a grip on himself again, because you sure as hell would show up in the paddock one day, and what then? Maybe you were like a poison, he just needed small doses to get used to you and become immune in the end. You loved Lando, and Lando loved you. He wasn’t a part of the equation, he had to understand this. 

Yes, he was an idiot. He was self-aware enough to know what he was about to do was reckless and stupid, but maybe this small dose theory wasn’t as bad as it first seemed. This is why he was now standing in the waiting room of the clinic where you worked, waiting for his appointment with you. He was okay, nothing hurt, but for the sake of a conversation and some alone time with you, he was willing to say his hand caused him pain. Just a little white lie, nothing serious. 

He instinctively locked his phone and looked up when he heard a familiar sound, your melodic laughter that came from a nearby hallway. And within seconds you appeared, beautiful like a dream, and he jumped up to greet you even though you hadn’t noticed him yet. He was too excited to control himself, which is why the moment your previous patient left, he walked up to you with a stupid smile on his face. 

“Max, hi,” you said happily before giving him a hug. 

It took all of his willpower not to wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on top of your head as he held you close, feeling the warmth that radiated from your body. Instead he politely squeezed your shoulder quickly before stepping away to give you some space. “Thank you for finding the time for me, I guess you have a tight schedule,” he said with a sheepish smile. 

But you just waved your hand to tell him it was okay, then motioned towards the hallway you came from. “Come on, let’s see that hand,” you said as you began to walk. 

Max followed you like a shadow, standing awkwardly in your examination room as he waited for your instructions. This was your domain, he was just a guest, and he was more than happy to follow your orders. At this point you could have asked him to do anything, even to show you his bank card details, and he would have done it without hesitation. You pointed at a chair next to your desk, and once you both sat down, you rolled over to him, one of your knees between his legs to be closer to him. 

As you took a look at his right hand that was injured as far as you knew, he had to focus on his breathing. You chose a different perfume for today, something that was a nice floral scent that invaded his brain, making it all he could think about. When your pretty eyes finally turned to him, he tilted his head to the side and watched you with an intrigued look. “So, what should we do about this?” he asked you. 

Leaning back, you wanted to push yourself away from him, but he didn’t let go of your hand and just yanked you back gently. You seemed surprised at first, but then you nodded and gulped. “Well, I couldn’t feel anything irregular, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was related to simulators and video games,” you said with a teasing smile. “I’ve heard esport athletes complaining about the same kind of pain in their hands, so I guess this is what we’re dealing with. I’ll show you a few exercises you can do at home, but we can also find a slot in the evening that’s okay for you, and I can jump in to help. As you said, my schedule here is pretty tight, and you’re Lando’s friend, so the least I can do is be flexible about the when and where.”

Fuck, if you only knew what was going on in his mind at this very moment. Maybe it would scare you away, because he couldn’t help thinking about having you at his home alone, and how he wanted that ‘flexible about the when and where’ part to be about clandestine meetings with you. He wanted to be your dark secret, your partner in crime in an affair that you both had to hide from Lando, but right now you weren’t ready for it. Your first thought was Lando, not him. You were doing this for your boyfriend, because you valued him enough to know he cared about his friends. 

It was killing him. Waiting for you as he paced the living room as a caged predator, he couldn’t help but envy his cats who were minding their business somewhere in the apartment. They didn’t have to deal with the pain of being desperately in love with their friend’s girlfriend, the only person who was supposed to be off-limits. When you finally arrived, he had to force a smile on his face, acting like everything was okay, like he wasn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

Things went well for a while, but then as you sat on the couch, drinking a glass of wine that you accepted as a token of gratitude, Max couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut. “Lando is lucky to have you. I wish I could find a girl who was as nice, and caring, and funny, and intelligent, and sweet as you are,” he said out of nowhere. 

You slowly pulled the glass away from your lips and put it on the coffee table. “Where did this come from?” you asked, your chest heaving from your sped up breathing. 

He was cursing himself in his head, knowing full well you were seconds away from running out of his home. How could he be this stupid? But what was the point of going on with his life as if he didn’t have feelings for you? He could just as well come clean about it, finally getting it off his chest so he would know if he was crazy for thinking you could be interested. And if you decide to go no contact with him… Well, at least he would know he never had a chance. 

“You and Lando are good together, you make him happy. But,” he began, stopping for a moment to get his thoughts in order. “So I just… Ever since I met you, ever since I got to know you better, I can’t help but wonder what if you loved me instead. You are one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met, I can’t even imagine living my life without you. If you gave me a chance, just one chance to prove how good we could be together–”

You raised a hand to stop him. “Max, just don’t. Don’t fantasize about something you can never have. Don’t torture yourself, please,” you asked him with a strange smile as you put a hand on his arm. But how could he stop? He was way past the point of no return. Before he could speak up again, though, you started talking. “You’re a great guy, you’ll find someone who makes you happy. It’s just… not me.”

“Why can’t you love me? He doesn’t have to know, I can keep a secret, I promise,” he said, his voice now pathetically desperate. But he couldn’t stop himself, even if he was making a fool of himself. 

Without answering, you nodded a few times and gulped, then leaned over to press a soft kiss on his cheek before standing up and taking a few steps towards the door. Max was frozen in his seat, still under the effect of that kiss, but he truly felt like he was stabbed with a dagger when you said, “This conversation never happened. I don’t want Lando to find out about your feelings.” 

And with that, you simply walked out of his apartment, leaving him behind with the feeling of defeat and shame, and the flurry of thoughts that didn’t let him sleep that night. The next few days weren’t any better, really. He spent them locked inside his apartment, only leaving it for half an hour to pick up what he ordered for lunch, but other than that, he was on his own. No phone calls, no streams, nothing. 

But one night he hit rock bottom and began to drink, and he drank a lot, and when he was almost crying from the pain he felt in his heart, he had the not-so-bright idea to take some painkillers that would surely help with that. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to think, but he was good enough to type in a series of messages to you. Messages that were full of mistakes, and sentences that didn’t always make sense, and his thoughts that all revolved around you. When you asked him if he was drunk, he replied, ‘drunk and high,’ because those pain meds were the good stuff from a previous injury. 

Though he didn’t expect anything, half an hour later there was a knock on his door, and when he saw it was you, he quickly wrapped his arms around your body. “You came. You love me,” he mumbled with his face buried into the crook of your neck. 

With a groan, you pushed him inside and closed the door behind you. “What did you take?” you asked him with your arms folded. 

“Are you mad at me?” he slurred, but when he saw your pointed look, he let out a long sigh. “Painkillers. Really good painkillers.”

“How much?” 

This made him think, but then he began to count on his fingers and held up a hand. “Five. I think.”

You shook your head as you grabbed his arm and began to drag him towards the bathroom. “You need to throw them up, so go ahead, smartass,” you ordered him. 

Max tried to give you the puppy eyes, hoping you weren’t serious, but then you threatened him that you would shove your finger down his throat if he didn’t do it himself, so he groaned and got to making himself vomit. It was disgusting, the taste in his mouth was enough to make him want to throw up again, but he chose to brush his teeth instead. You stood there in the door with your arms folded over your chest, watching him with a disapproving look on your face. 

After you successfully convinced him to stay in bed for the rest of the night, you brought him lots of water and made him drink some. If you were simply worried about him, he would have been really happy, because that would mean you cared about him, but in reality you were both worried and incredibly mad, which wasn’t a good combination. So he crawled over to you on the bed and lied down so his head would be on your lap. 

“Sorry, schatje,” he mumbled as he looked at you, waiting for the room to finally stop spinning. 

Your eyes watched him closely, full of anger and disappointment, but then he felt your hand in his hair and it made him smile like a satisfied cat. “You’re such a moron, Max,” you groaned. 

“I love you so much that it makes me stupid,” he admitted. 

“No doubt.”

He watched you in silence for a while, enjoying the way your fingertips massaged his scalp, and somewhere along the way he fell asleep. Later in the night he woke up, only to see you were still there with him, curled up at the end of the bed with your phone next to your head. He moved closer to you, this time choosing to be the one who ran his fingers through your hair, letting his thumb brush over your cheek as he placed a clumsy kiss on your temple. You stirred in your sleep, but didn’t wake up, for which he was grateful. All he wanted was some time with you when you couldn’t tell him that you didn’t love him, when you couldn’t push him away, and when he could honestly tell you how he felt about you. 

Little did he know it was only your phone’s screen that went dark, the caller on the other end of the line you had been talking to before dozing off was still there, listening to every word.

WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS - P.SH

a part of the ETERNAL SUNSHINE series.

IN WHICH..

With the advancement of technology and the presence of numerous machines, a new one caught your attention. Unfortunately, you experienced a messy breakup with Sunghoon, leading to both of you erasing memories of each other in anger. Little did you know, this decision would later bring regret. The future seemed promising with endless possibilities, but the pain of losing someone you once cared for lingered. As time passed, you realized the mistake of erasing those memories, as they held significance and meaning that you couldn't fully comprehend in the heat of the moment.

PAIRING & CATEGORIES

ex husband! sunghoon x gn reader, second chance, divorced to lovers

CAUTION

divorce, toxic relationship, crying, erasing memories, force, not proofread

THIS DOES NOT REPRESENT SUNGHOON IN REAL LIFE. THIS IS PURE FICTION

STAR’S DIARY

second part is out (im spoiling yall)

TAGLIST

@cholexc @yyawnjun @rosas-in-the-garden @allforhee @ilovejungwonandhaechan @ifuckedheeseung @jooniesbears-blog @niki-the-genius

HEADPHONES PLAYING..

we can’t be friends by ariana grande

- Will you agree to erase this person from your memory? ⃣ yes ⃣no

With hesitation, you complete the square marked "Yes" on the form. Taking a deep breath, you place the document on your lap, feeling a mix of nerves and anticipation. The weight of your decision hangs in the air as you contemplate what lies ahead. Every stroke of the pen feels like a step closer to a new chapter in your life.

You can't help but wonder if you've made the right choice, but there's no turning back now. The form sits in front of you, a tangible representation of the uncertainty and possibility that lies ahead.

The divorce between you and Sunghoon was tumultuous and messy. Both of you were consumed by anger and resentment, resulting in heated arguments filled with yelling and cursing. Harsh words were exchanged, leaving wounds that may never fully heal.

Discovering that Sunghoon had intentionally erased his memories of you only fueled your resentment towards him. Learning this from his friends made you even more infuriated, as it seemed like a deliberate attempt to hurt you. The thought of him choosing to forget about our shared moments together left you feeling betrayed and angry.

Finally signing your signature, you wait until the nurses have called your name.

“miss y/n!”

As the nurses called out your name, you felt a rush of excitement and anticipation. Quickly grabbing your box of memories, you made your way towards the office, eager to see what awaited you inside. The familiar scent of disinfectant and sterile surroundings filled the air as you entered the room. Memories flooded your mind as you carefully sifted through the contents of the box, each item holding a special significance and a story to tell. The sound of voices and bustling activity around you faded into the background as you lost yourself in the nostalgia of the past.

As the nurse placed a machine on your finger, she meticulously inspected the device. Her focused gaze never wavered as she checked the readings displayed on the screen. With precision and care, she ensured that the equipment was functioning properly and accurately monitoring your vital signs.

The beeping sound of the machine echoed in the room, a constant reminder of its importance in monitoring your health. With a gentle touch, the nurse made small adjustments to the machine, ensuring that it was securely in place. Her expertise and attention to detail were evident in her every move, providing you with a sense of reassurance and comfort.

One of the other nurses reached for a teddy bear, causing a wave of anxiety to wash over you. The sight of the soft plush toy being picked up triggered a sense of unease, as if something ominous was about to happen.

As the nurses secured clips on either side of your head, you found yourself being transported to a familiar arcade. It was the same place where Sunghoon had taken you on your very first date. The memories flooded back as you closed your eyes, reliving the excitement and joy of that special day.

The sound of arcade games and the scent of popcorn filled your senses, bringing a sense of comfort and nostalgia. Despite the medical procedure happening around you, you couldn't help but smile at the cherished memory of that unforgettable day with the person you loved.

“Hoon! Check this out!!”

You excitedly drag Sunghoon over to a crane filled with teddy bears, jumping with anticipation as he focuses determinedly on winning the claw machine. The bright lights of the arcade flash around you as you cheer him on, urging him to grab the perfect prize. Sunghoon's eyes are fixed on the moving claw, his concentration unwavering as he strategizes his next move.

With each attempt, the tension builds, your heart racing with excitement as you watch the claw descend towards the cuddly toys. And then, finally, with a triumphant grin, Sunghoon emerges victorious, clutching a fluffy teddy bear in his grasp.

With the teddy bear held tightly in your hands, you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around Sunghoon's neck and hugging him with all your might. The softness of the bear pressed against your chest as you buried your face into Sunghoon's shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent. The warmth of his body radiated through you, filling you with a sense of comfort and security.

In that moment, all worries and fears melted away as you held onto him, cherishing the closeness and connection you shared. The embrace was a silent declaration of your love and affection for him.

As you were on the brink of kissing him, the world around you started to blur and vanish. You found yourself standing in an empty void, feeling lost and bewildered. The once-familiar sights and sounds disappeared, leaving you alone with your thoughts and emotions.

But then you started to fade into a bedroom, you noticed it was Sunghoon's old bedroom.

You saw him lying down, his back turned towards you. He seemed upset, and then it hit you - you had checked his phone without his permission. The guilt washed over you as you realized the reason for his distress.

As you opened the door, you were instantly transported outside into a winter wonderland covered in a blanket of snow. The cold air nipped at your cheeks as you gazed around in awe at the glistening landscape. Sunghoon stood beside you, a mischievous grin on his face as he gestured for you to join him in making snow angels. Without hesitation, you dropped to the ground, flapping your arms and legs to create the perfect angel shapes. Laughter filled the air as you both frolicked in the snow.

As Sunghoon suddenly vanished, a wave of emotions washed over you. Feeling lost and alone, you instinctively turned to your side, seeking comfort as you arrived under the familiar warmth of your blanket with Sunghoon.

As you held Sunghoon's hand, the sound of both your laughter filled the air as you indulged in gossiping about the people you both despised. The warmth of his touch brought a sense of comfort and unity between you two, despite the negative topic of conversation before you felt yourself swinging away from him.

As you found yourself back in the nurse's room, a flood of emotions washed over you. Tears welled up in your eyes and began to spill down your cheeks, a mixture of sadness and relief.

The nurse then reached for a frame, inside of which was a photo capturing a tender moment between you and Sunghoon. It was taken during your birthday celebration, the two of you locked in a loving embrace, sharing a heartfelt kiss. The image radiated warmth and happiness, encapsulating a beautiful memory that would be cherished forever.

As you gazed at the picture, nostalgia washed over you, reminding you of the special bond you shared with Sunghoon. The nurse smiled knowingly, understanding the significance of the photo and the emotions it evoked within you.

“Don’t worry dear, this will be quick.”

As you nod at the nurse, you suddenly find yourself transported to you and Sunghoon's old living room. Sunghoon stands before you, holding a cake, his warm smile lighting up the room. You feel a surge of love and longing as you move towards him, ready to kiss him.

But before you can reach him, he begins to fade away, evaporating into thin air. The moment is gone, leaving you with a bittersweet ache in your heart as you realize that the Sunghoon will be in your memories is just that - a fleeting, intangible ghost of the past.

As you took a deep breath, the sound of the machine beeping filled the room. Slowly, consciousness returned to you and your eyes fluttered open.

Tears immediately began to flow uncontrollably down your cheeks, a mix of relief and fear washing over you. The beeping continued, a constant reminder of the fragility of life. You tried to steady your breathing, to calm the storm of emotions raging inside of you. The room felt cold and sterile, the harsh fluorescent lights making everything seem surreal.

As the nurse attempted to snatch away your final memory, you instinctively clung to it with all your might, refusing to let go.

You pleaded desperately with the nurse, begging her to spare you from losing the precious recollection. The memory held a significant place in your heart, and the thought of it being ripped away caused a surge of panic within you. Despite the nurse's persistence, you resisted, determined to protect the memory at all costs.

You held onto the necklace with a tight grip, feeling the weight of its presence in your hand. The memories associated with it flooded your mind, each one replaying in vivid detail.

The day marked your fifth anniversary with Sunghoon, and he surprised you with a beautiful necklace. The moment he presented it to you, your heart swelled with happiness.

The nurse reached out for the necklace, but you met her gaze with pleading eyes, silently begging her to let you keep that one memory close to your heart. Your eyes reflected the pain of losing everything else, but the necklace held a special significance that you couldn't bear to part with.

The nurse, with a guilty expression on her face, persisted in retrieving the necklace as you cried uncontrollably, pleading desperately. Despite your tearful protests, she remained focused on her task, determined to complete it despite your distress. Your sobs echoed through the room, a heartbreaking sound that seemed to fall on deaf ears as she continued her actions.

Your pleas grew louder, more desperate, as you tried in vain to stop her from taking what belonged to you. The nurse's actions seemed callous, and indifferent to your pain, leaving you feeling helpless and betrayed in your moment of need.

“P-please.. Please..” screaming louder.

“N-NO!” you sobbing and screaming while your tears stream down your eyes continually.

As the feeling of hopelessness began to wash over you, tears streamed down your face uncontrollably. The image of Sunghoon consumed your thoughts, causing your heart to ache with longing. You couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of despair that weighed heavily on your chest. Each sob that escaped your lips felt like a cry for help, a plea for the pain to dissipate.

Despite your best efforts to distract yourself, his face kept appearing in your mind, driving you to the brink of despair. The tears continued to fall, a constant reminder of the emptiness that now consumed you.

━━━━ GUILTY ; PART ONE

pairing : sunghoon x afab!reader

warnings : mentions of smoking and sex, drugs (weed), alcohol

word count : 4.3k

genre : angst, smut (mdni)

synopsis : you have to suffer with the tragedy of having excruciatingly drunk friends and sunghoon has to suffer the tragedy of having his girlfriend break his heart.

guilty masterlist

tag list : @deobitifull @haelahoops @sunasbl6nts @zerasari @imhyunjins-wifeofc @gucci-95 @ak4e7a @fakeuwus @denleave1088 @kyanmeai @kgneptun @baekxo07 @adeoluhh @heesvers @eneiyri @anikijay @hansoojinx @sunwonkiworld @seokseokjinkim @hotsforikeu @shotarowo @enhypenlovre

send an ask or comment to be added to the tag list. age must be visible on profile. those in bold couldn’t be tagged.

“He broke up with me!”

“He broke up with me!”

“I broke up with him!”

Those were the words Yoo Jimin had told her best friend Kim Minjeong, and through the power of gossip (and most certainly by Choi Beomgyu’s obnoxiously loud voice), the entirety of your campus were now incredibly invested in the dramatics of the beloved star couple Yoo Jimin and Park Sunghoon, who’d been dating since the start of the new term, and in retrospect, you all should’ve predicted the outcome of the pair breaking up, but never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined Yoo Jimin to be the one to do so. Not when they strutted around campus, Sunghoon’s arm wrapped around her shoulder with their fingers interlocked, and not when they were often seen making out in parties and barely even intoxicated as they did so. Cupid struck their hearts with his infectious arrow, and Jimin’s had fallen out before Sunghoon’s had even begun to feel even the slightest bit lighter.

“They looked so cute together! I thought in ten years, we’ll have little Sunghoons and Jimins running around,” Yunjin slurred out, slamming down her bottle of soju, heavily intoxicated at this point of the night, and you pinched your nose, already imagining how much of a hassle it would be to drive her home. Yunjin had never been the strongest soldier to alcohol, always splayed out over the seats in your car as you drove her home after a particularly energetic party. “But girl, look on the bright side!” your other friend Giselle drunkenly pointed her finger at you as she leaned her head on the table, “all you now need to do is scoop up your heartbroken man and he’ll thank you for accepting his hand in marriage.” Marriage? Now was the point you were sure they’d drunk too much for their brain to even properly function. Giselle was better than Yunjin when it came to drinking, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have her moments where she was completely drunk to the point you feared she’d fall asleep then and there. Chaewon shook her head frantically, downing the remnants of her drink. “No man, we first have to get them to date before marriage!” Chaewon protested, and you sniffed, fighting the urge to laugh at the conversation dictating yours and Sunghoon’s relationship. In your group dynamics, Chaewon was the more maternal figure of the group, usually being the one who cooked and made plans for you all to hang out (even though you all lived in the same dorm), and was the one who comforted each of you after a heartbreaking breakup that left you all eating chocolates while watching Legally blonde for the umpteenth time.

Since you’d all resorted to befriending one another after sharing a dorm together for three days, weekly get-togethers at the bar every Friday had been pencilled in and underline 4 times on your schedules, and you’d all joked that it was to keep your sanity in check, the workload for university being too difficult for you to handle in a continuous sitting like you all had the tendency to do. Each week, someone would have to be the designated driver to ensure everyone gets home safely, and of course this week, it just had to be you and you weren’t drunk enough yet to handle a conversation about your long time crush Park Sunghoon, who drove you to madness. Your small friend group were all aware about this crush and the history that accompanied it, and often, they’d ridicule you for it, but if you were being honest, you knew your petty crush would never work out every new year’s resolution for you had been to find a new lover to love and to forget about Sunghoon who’d done nothing for you. Not when Sunghoon had embarrassed you in front of everyone that one fateful day in 6th grade where he’d tricked you into admitting your crush on him after he overheard you fawning over him to another girl in your class, and as it slipped out that you were infatuated with him, he rejected you callously, even laughing, and he dumped you as a friend like your years of friendship had only lasted a day. Clearly, your friendship had never meant much to him. As they say, the winner takes it all, and Sunghoon had really taken it all triumphantly.

You’d never meant for your crush to get so out of hand, not when you’d vowed straight after that incident that you would no longer care about him. You said that as the tears stuttered down your cheeks, staining red in their wake as you deleted his number from your phone, hesitating momentarily. You said that as you tore up the polaroid pictures of you two, kept in the depths of the shoebox he’d gifted you for your birthday that had contained a pair of shoes you already had but you didn’t care because Sunghoon was the one who’d gifted it to you. You said that as you reluctantly threw the hoodies he left at your house into a bin, glancing at them one last time as you recalled how you used to press your face into his hoodie clad chest as you both watched some shitty film that only Sunghoon liked. You’d really thought you could get over Sunghoon within a day. What, after he humiliated you and broke off your friendship, how could you even stand him? And yet as you spotted him laughing with his friends by the water fountain, the butterflies spiralled uncontrollably from the pits of your stomach, your heart beating harder and harder the more you looked at him, and you couldn’t deny the way your cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink. And that’s the moment you knew you were done for. You were utterly and forevermore in love with the despicable human being that was Park Sunghoon, in all his glory as he was praised by his fifty million girlfriends that truly believed they were the one for him.

“Well, I think we’ve all drank enough so we should be getting back,” you urged the others, helping Yunjin up, and she clung to your arms, her legs stumbling over one another, and drunken babbles spewed from her lips as she let you drag her away from the table, Chaewon and Giselle in tow with their arms wrapped around each other as they collapsed into your car, too dazed to even be able to put on their seatbelts, and you frowned, having not wanted to remind yourself of Sunghoon when you were out with the girls, who really should be distracting you from the topic. You already knew their hungover was going to feel like hell and mentally, you made a note to set an alarm to wake up early and prepare a hangover soup to nurse them so that they might be able to get even the slightest bit of work done the next day. You rubbed you forehead before entering the driver’s seat, backing the car out from the parking lot as you began the drive to the campus.

“Hey Y/N,” Yunjin mumbled, her eyes bleary having just woken up from her sleep as she made the continuous motions of tugging on the hem of your jacket, and you nodded, indicating that you were listening, as you focused on the road ahead of you. “You shouldn’t keep loving Sunghoon. He’s going to use it against you one day and you won’t be able to do anything about it. Plus, you’re too good for him. Go date Heeseung,” Yunjin whispered, before her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned against the window, her forehead creased as soft snores resounded through the car. Lee Heeseung. The poor boy had liked you for months now, even resorting to asking you out, but you’d softly rejected him, claiming that you needed to focus on your studies, but you were sure that he knew the truth. That you liked Sunghoon and not him. And he knew that while Sunghoon was his friend and remained on campus, Heeseung would always be shrouded by his monumental shadow. Heeseung was sweet and kind: he wasn’t an avid enjoyer of parties like Sunghoon was, he wasn’t cruel and he cared fiercely about other, and he always offered you a sweet smile in the corridor whenever he saw you.

“She broke up with me,” Sunghoon whispered, as he lay on the worn out sofa he’d once lain on with Yoo Jimin curled up by his side, and he stared up at the ceiling, fingers knotted through his damp hair as he clenched his jaw together. Sure, his and Jimin’s relationship hadn’t been perfect: they argued, they fought and they had their miscommunications, but it was damn near the most perfect relationship Sunghoon had ever had and he was in fucking love with Yoo Jimin. She was the only girl who truly understood him, and she’d been the precise dream girl he’d cared so much for. She wasn’t one of those girls he’d have sex with then proceed to leave behind, nor was she one of those girls who complicated their relationship by acting like she could do anything to change him. They’d started as casual friends with benefits, but it was when Yoo Jimin admitted she’d fucked Choi Beomgyu, and it was then that Sunghoon grew terrified Jimin would abandon him for someone better. Someone like Beomgyu who was practically the perfect boyfriend and would take her on perfect dates, and would give her perfect presents and a perfect kind of love. So he took it upon himself to buy Jimin a Vivienne Westwood necklace, a Pandora bracelet and a pair of Dior heels (girls liked that kind of things, don’t they?), and so Jimin accepted his grand proposal in front of a Michelin star restaurant where Sunghoon had burnt all his money on the food that was too small for the expense he paid. He took her on the dates Beomgyu could’ve taken her on, and bought her the presents Beomgyu could’ve bought her, and loved her the way Beomgyu would’ve. And it still wasn’t enough. Not when she broke up with him in the apartment she shared with Kim Minjeong, her eyes only slightly teary as she slammed their promise ring down on her bedside table, storming out of the room, and Sunghoon had to force his feet to move, dragging them against the floor slowly, wishing to the dear heavens that this moment wasn’t happening.

Fuck, his entire future was beginning to be shaped around her and when he thought about his future, he could only see her in it. How they’d have a house on the picturesque cul-de-sac, and they’d have two cars, and they’d have two children and one dog. After work, Sunghoon would go home to have dinner, and they’d hug on the sofa, and they’d put the kids to bed, and they’d have sex on their bed before showering and going to sleep. Then he’d wake up, knowing Jimin was with him, and automatically, everything would be okay. Everything. Everything had been with Yoo Jimin and now that she was gone, Sunghoon didn’t know what the fuck he was meant to do. He could never love anyone as much as he loved Jimin. They were soulmates, at least that’s what Sunghoon knew, and he’d dated a lot of girls, but none of them had made him embark on a cruise of passionate love like Jimin had forced him to do, their voyage now presenting itself as bittersweet.

“Hoon,” Jay called his name, shaking Sunghoon, and swiftly, a piece of pizza was dangled in front of him, the cheese looking remorseful. Jay was Sunghoon’s roommate, as was Jake and Heeseung, the latter pair having chosen to stay locked up in Jake’s room, worried that Sunghoon would go on an emotional rant and end up sobbing, and neither Heeseung nor Jake knew entirely how to comfort an emotional Sunghoon, who was often stoic. The

job of comforting a saddened Sunghoon often resided entirely on Jimin, but now she was gone as well, so Jay had to pick up the job, and though he was trying his best, he could never make up for what Jimin had done. “You should eat,” Jay said, sitting down on the sofa next to Sunghoon’s feet, and Sunghoon sat up slowly, crossing his legs as he grabbed the pizza from Jay’s hands, shoving the greasy food into his mouth, swallowing it with much difficulty, the cheese and tomato sauce sticking to his teeth, and he could feel the oil glide down his throat. If he’d been with Jimin, she would probably have made him some sort of tomato soup with basil, because Jimin had always been good at cooking, and afterwards, Sunghoon would clean up as Jimin picked a film for the pair of them to watch, and it was always some romantic shit that Sunghoon hated, but he watched it with Jimin because of the way her eyes sparkled and widened with adoration for the couple. Even though Sunghoon found it all too cheesy and corny, he watched it for Jimin because he was so dearly in love with her.

“That’s disgusting,” Sunghoon scrunched his nose up, and Jay sighed, grabbing the remote from its position beside him as he switched on the TV, glancing to the side as Sunghoon brought another piece of pizza up to his lips. “And you’re still eating it?” Jay pointed out and Sunghoon rolled his eyes, though he didn’t deny the fact. Stretching his arms above his head and realising that he’d been lying in that exact position for approximately 3 hours, Sunghoon made the decision that greasy pizza would taste best with a beer that costed $5 from the corner shop, and it would most likely be a beer that Jake brought so it would probably be ten times more revolting. Sunghoon opened the fridge, and to his surprise, there was around twenty bottles of beer left unopened, and if anyone else came to the apartment, they’d imagine the roommates were alcoholics. Actually, Sunghoon would blame Jake and call him a raging alcoholic. Besides, Jake was known on campus for having the highest alcohol tolerance, so it really wouldn’t be that far-fetched. Sunghoon bought for beers from the fridge, taking the bottle opener as he brought them to the sofa, handing one to Jay as he took his own, flicking it open as he took a sizable gulp, the pizza taste now having been washed down by the bitterness of beer. “I’ll text the others,” Jay commented, pulling out his phone as he sent a message to Jake, who would no doubt be playing video games with Heeseung. It seemed that if they weren’t doing work, they were immersed in the realm of video games, and would play well into the early hours of the morning where the cool rays dawn would begin to break through the cracks between the curtains, when they’d eventually drift off to sleep, headphones slipping off their ears.

“You good?” Jake emerged from his room, and he punched Sunghoon’s bicep lightly, grabbing two beers as he slouched on the sofa, handing one to Heeseung, who sat next to Jake, the pair of them having left Jake’s domain that was almost impossible to enter with the plates of food stacked within his fortress, and it had become an ongoing joke that there was probably a rat lurking somewhere. The mess had gone to such an extent that Jake would end up fucking a girl on Jay’s bed and Jay was pissed that he’d have to watch his cum soaked mattress and sheets, and so threatened Jake that if he didn’t clean his room soon, an exterminator would be called. The exterminator seemed to be a very possible future that was drawing near. In fact, the only other person besides Jake that could handle such a colossal mess was Heeseung, but that was because his room was no better, but at least Heeseung had the decency to watch his dirty dishes- his issue was the amount of plates strewn across the floor. Contrasting the pair of them was Sunghoon and Jay, whose rooms were kept as neat as possible.

“Fine,” Sunghoon lied, watching the TV screen where Jay flicked through the available films, before he eventually stopped at the Amazing Spider-man, and Sunghoon recalled how much Jimin loved Andrew Garfield. Oh, how she pressed her face into his shoulder with her finger curled over his top as she fawned over his crooked, awkward smile and Sunghoon would wonder what the fuck she liked about him that Sunghoon couldn’t make up for. And because Jimin loved Andrew Garfield in that spider-man suit so much, just that last Halloween, Sunghoon had dressed up as spider-man (and Sunghoon never dressed up for Halloween), and he’d twirled a giggling Jimin who’d dressed up as Jennifer from Jennifer’s body into his arms, kissing her so many times on her face as he watched her cheeks heat up, calling her the prettiest Gwen Stacy there could ever be. “Change it,” Sunghoon pointed at the TV, drinking from his beer bottle again, and Jay frowned, though after a nudge from Heeseung and a pointed look from Jake, in a disappointed manner, Jay changed to another movie, flicking through the remaining channels before halting on a Mission impossible film that Sunghoon must have lazily watched a hundred times, and so he hummed in agreement. Jimin hated Mission impossible, so they never watched it together. “It’s just so unrealistic!” she’d whine when Sunghoon would attempt to get her to watch it, and he would laugh, brushing the hair out of her face before agreeing to change to a stupid romcom. If Sunghoon was being honest, he preferred the romcoms if it meant seeing Jimin smile her pretty smile.

“We’re meeting the other guys tomorrow, just reminding you all. Also, Sunghoon, before you say no, we’ve planned this party for weeks” Jake announced, and Sunghoon grumbled under his breath that he wasn’t planning on saying no, even though he really was and he didn’t want to meet the other guys who’d be so obsessed about talking about Jimin, and Sunghoon would get so pissed that the meeting wouldn’t even be fun anymore. It seemed Heeseung recognised this, as he abruptly sat up, setting his beer bottle on the table as he turned to Jake. “Text the group chat and tell them to not bring up Jimin if they can help it,” Heeseung warned, and Sunghoon couldn’t help the snicker that escaped his lips. It wasn’t even particularly funny, and Heeseung hadn’t meant for it to come off as funny, yet Sunghoon couldn’t help the bubbles of laughter seeping from his mouth. The other boys gave him questioning looks, faintly concerned, and Jake quietly said that the guys they were meeting had agreed to the condition. And the laugh grew louder, as he clutched his stomach, the deep, throaty laughs echoing within the small room, and was eventually drowned out by Sunghoon chugging down beer, muffled under the liquid. Nothing was funny and everything was funny. He was happy, he was sad, he was angry, he was confused and at the end of the torrent of emotions boiling within him, Sunghoon was just quite plainly lost.

He missed Jimin.

Sitting with a group of boys Sunghoon quite frankly did not give a fuck about after enduring a breakup he’d have to spend a year healing from was an experience that was probably worse than writing an essay at 2AM under the harsh beams of light in his room while listening to Jay’s snores from the other room and Heeseung and Jake’s sporadic yells as they played video games. Actually scratch that, because nothing was worse than that. But this experience was probably right under that, because for once, Sunghoon didn’t feel very popular or arrogant or even sociable. Most of the time, in situations such as this, Sunghoon would be cracking jokes, making fun of the relationships the boys had attempted to embark on, and clowning them for their academic failures. But it seemed Na Jaemin from the older year had temporarily taken over his role, but Jaemin had a proclivity for getting high before any social gathering (he’d claimed once that weed was the only reason he could properly function in life, and that his plug would forever be written in his will), and so most of the topics of conversation Jaemin brought up were things no one really cared to speak about. And so Jaemin opted to roll a blunt, and offer it to Sunghoon. There were only two times Sunghoon chose to get high (he savoured the taste of cigarettes more even though Jimin hated it): he’s at a party or going through a midlife crisis. Clearly, Sunghoon was suffering from the latter and so gratefully, he took the blunt, sticking it between his lips and Jaemin pulled out his lighter, lighting the blunt for Sunghoon, and he inhaled deeply, plumes of smoke slipping from his lips as he exhaled and almost immediately, his head began to feel lighter.

“She just left me like that and I gave her everything. I don’t get what she wants me to do,” Sunghoon ranted, his words stumbling over themselves as he slumped on the sofa, both Jay and Jaemin next to him, looking equally as high as he was, their eyes rimmed red (though Jaemin’s was permanently rimmed red), and it seemed neither could completely process what he was saying. If Sunghoon was being honest, he didn’t know what he was saying anymore either, not after Jimin had left him so cruelly. Sunghoon hadn’t even been a bad boyfriend! Bad boyfriends don’t buy you pandora bracelets and buy you a charm every time there’s a celebration. Bad boyfriends don’t buy you flowers, cakes and a teddy bear for your birthday. Bad boyfriends don’t love you so much to the point they think their heart might give up from the weight of the love. “She’s going to go back to Beomgyu,” Sunghoon grumbled, folding his arms as he took the new joint Jay had rolled from Jaemin’s lips, and Jaemin pouted.

Jaemin was the person who’d introduced Jimin to Sunghoon, grabbing Sunghoon in a deathly grip as he grabbed him to the corner of the room in a party where Jimin stood, her body adorned in a sparkly silver dress, and her eyes glittering from metallic eyeshadow, and her lips were so plump and glossy. In that moment, Sunghoon knew he was a goner, as he looked at Jimin’s lips curve into an inviting smile as she held out her hand, straightening her ebony black hair over her shoulder. Jaemin was also the person who told Sunghoon to treat Jimin well, because she was sweet girl, and hadn’t Sunghoon done exactly that? Yet she still broke up with him, even though they were like jigsaw puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. “Then why don’t you make her jealous? Swear girls love that,” Jay claimed, as he stared at the ceiling, and Sunghoon sat up. Though the haze of the drugs made him bleary, there was no question about it that Jay was a borderline genius. “Yeah but you got to make sure that the girl isn’t too much of a hassle,” Jaemin pointed out, and Sunghoon frowned. That would be a more difficult criteria to check off because most girls he ended up dating where possibly some of the clingiest women in the female species.

“What about Y/N? She’d kill to date me, and she’d probably just accept she isn’t good enough if I break up with her. That’ll get her off my back,” Sunghoon rolled his eyes, the sudden thought springing to mind, and raucous laughter thundered from Jay’s chest, and Sunghoon widened his eyes. Jaemin shook his head, the corner of his lips quirking up ever so slightly. “Poor girl,” he mumbled, stubbing out the blunt, having evidently decided he was high enough, and he resumed his position slouched against the worn fabric of the sofa in Sunghoon’s apartment. All the boys had left, and Jake had left to go to Park Jisung’s apartment where Jaemin also resided, and Heeseung had left to hang out with Yang Jeongin who stated a few floors below. Sunghoon knew it was cruel, but when it came to Jimin, he was willing to do anything. He would move mountains, and capture stars, and he’d even give her the entire galaxy if she simply asked. “You really think she’ll accept? After all this time?” Jay chortled, and Jaemin couldn’t fight the amused look painting his face and Sunghoon rolled his eyes. Did they really doubt him. He scoffed, “of course.” Jay licked his lips, as though he was plotting something before he leaned forward. “Alright then. I dare you to date Y/N for 2 months with Jimin’s knowledge, get her to say I love you in front of Jimin and then you can break up with her. Deal?” Jay extended out his hand. Sunghoon was hesitant. What if it backfired?

“Deal.”

𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 (p.sh) — TRAILER

PAIRING: knight!sunghoon x queen!reader (f)

SUMMARY: after your parents death, you were forced to be crowned queen of the north realm and decided to take a young sargent as your personal guard. however, you can’t ignore the evident tension between the two of you, that will lead to some… illicit affairs. well, it never happened if nobody knows, right?

WARNINGS: 1800s au. mentions of war and death, fencing terms, sexual tension, unprotected sex (they didn’t have condoms, did they?), masturbation, dirty talk, missionary, fingering, more to be added!

PUBLISHED: soon! (at least, i hope so)

WC: ??

TAGLIST: (permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @jwnghyuns @bangtancultsposts @shawnyle @jooniesbears-blog @skzenhalove @ro-diaries @onlyhyunjin @xcosmi @strawberrhypen @heeheeswifey comment to be added!

NOW PLAYING: War Of Hearts by Ruelle