━━━━ GUILTY ; PART ONE

Eternal Sunshine

pairing!: Non idol!Sunghoon x fem reader

genre!: angst, a little nostalgia, and a pinch of fluff that you’d have to use a magnifying glass to see it.

trope!: second chance

prompt!: After a bad argument that resulted in sunghoon angrily racing out of your apartment, he begins to worry about you when you don’t respond to any of his messages the following days after the fallout. When he figures out that you’ve decided to erase him from your mind forever, he makes it his mission to get to you before it’s too late.

warnings!: profanity, arugements, breakups, crying, descriptive writing panic attacks, mentions of disassociation

songs!: eternal sunshine- ariana grande, imperfect for you- ariana grande, talk- beabadoobee, saturn- SZA

Sunghoon hadn’t known how they had gotten to where they were.

The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows in the living room. The couple both stood on opposite sides of the room, their faces flushed with frustration and anger and the remnants of their latest argument hung in the air casting a palpable tension between them.

"This isn't working, Sunghoon!" Y/N exclaimed, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation, her heart aching with words unsaid; unable to say under the daunting cold stare of her longtime boyfriend

"We can't keep doing this. We can't keep hurting each other like this."

Sunghoon ran a hand through his brown hair, his eyes darkened with frustration. "And whose fault is that, Y/N? You're the one who always picks fights over every little thing. You’re insufferable!" Y/N knew that Sunghoon was sometimes like this. After a year of dating, of intimate moments and arguments like this she had known what Sunghoon had up his sleeve and in his books.

Sometimes unreasonable, like a rampaging ape, he would make no room for explanation or justice. Y/N flinched at his words, her eyes widening in hurt and discomfort. "Insufferable? Is that really what you think of me?"

Sunghoon threw his hands up in exasperation. "You never listen! Every time we have a problem, you just keep pushing and pushing until I can’t take it anymore. It's like you enjoy making things difficult. Like you get some sick pleasure out of seeing me frust"

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, her voice breaking up at the sound of sunghoons words. Her heart had filled itself with somewhat of a burning esaperated ache, sending signals to the waterline of her eyeballs "I push because I care, Sunghoon. I push because I want us to work, because I want us to be better. I push because I know you won’t and I know you’ll return to loving me like you didn’t do something that hurt me. But it feels like you’ve given up."

Sunghoon shook his head, his voice softer but no less intense. "I haven’t given up, Y/N. But I’m exhausted. I’m tired of feeling like nothing I do is ever enough for you." The words hung between them, the weight of them sinking in. Everything sunghoon did was enough for her. All the times he had cared for her, had sat beside her in silence; just for company reasons, the sick days they had spent together. Everything that Sunghoon does, even if it’s just standing in the middle of a room, was more than y/n couldve asked for.

After a long stale silence Y/N took a step back, crossing her arms as if to protect herself from the sting of his words. "So what are you saying? That you don't love me anymore?" Sunghoon's face softened, a flicker of regret in his eyes. "I do love you, Y/N. But sometimes, love isn't enough. Sometimes, we just aren’t good for each other." Y/N felt a tear slide down her cheek, her heart breaking at the realization of his words. "So this is it, then? This is how it ends?" Again there was a silence, the cars outside the open window on the busy street seemed to echo in the darkened apartment.

Sunghoon's shoulders slumped, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. After a breath to calm him down he began to speak "Y/N—”

Y/N swallowed hard, her voice barely a whisper. "Maybe you're right. Maybe... maybe we need to let go."

The silence that followed was deafening, both of them absorbing the finality of their choice as Y/N spoke with a firm halted voice; the lump of sobs in her throat beckoning to come out. Y/N felt a hollow ache in her chest, the pain of losing someone she once believed was her forever. Loosing someone who she had thought would be the last person she’d see when the light had left her eyes. Sunghoon took a step towards the door, hesitating for a moment. His hand laid on the handle and without saying another word he walked out unable to make sense of the situation. Y/N nodded to herself as she watched as Sunghoon leave, the door closing behind him with a quiet click that echoed throughout the empty room.

The sobs that had been threatening her came out distant, almost as if it had escaped her throat without permission. The weight of the moment hung heavy in the air, pressing down on her chest like a boulder, making it hard to breathe.

A numbness creeped into her limbs, spreading slowly, paralyzing her. Her mind raced, replaying every word of their conversation, every painful syllable that had led to this moment. Her knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, the cool wood pressing against her skin through the thin fabric of her pants. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold in the pieces that felt like they were falling apart, trying to desperately hold the remaining lingering touches he left on her in the previous days.

Her heart pounded erratically, each beat a painful reminder of what she had lost. She had never known that a heart could physically ache, but now as it did, she understood every clichéd song, every poem, every tear-stained line about heartbreak. She squeezed her eyes shut, but that only made the tears spill over, hot and relentless, carving paths down her cheeks. She tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming, an endless stream of sorrow that she couldn’t stop. Her mind flitted back to the good times, the laughter, the shared secrets, the warmth of his touch, the whisperings of sweet nothings as they laid beneath the sunday morning sun. She remembered the way his eyes would light up when he saw her, the way his arms felt like home. Now, every happy moment seemed like a cruel joke, a setup for the devastating situation she was presented with.

The hours passed in a blur of tears and pain, the world outside moving on while hers stood still. Every sound seemed too loud, every shadow too dark, every breath too hard. She dragged herself to bed, curling up under the blankets that still smelled like him. and his softly fragrant cologne. She buried her face in his pillow and had shared her tears with the white satin cover. Her silent sobs continued until her body was exhausted and as she drifted into a restless sleep, the playful memories of Sunghoon and her faded in and out of her head.

Sunghoon had hated this distance. In the three weeks they had been apart, his body seemed to ache for her. His restless sleep seemed to take the form of the dark bags under his eyes and every night was a struggle, his mind replaying their last argument, the hurt in her eyes, the choked down shaker voice that she presented to him and the words he wished he could take back. The words he wished she had taken back. He had been stubborn, prideful, and now he was paying the price for it.

He wandered through his apartment, each corner filled with memories of her. The couch where they had spent countless evenings watching movies, her head resting on his shoulder. The kitchen, where they had danced to old songs while cooking dinner, laughing when they inevitably messed up the recipe. The bed they had shared, where they whispered secrets and dreams to each other in the quiet moments before sleep.

Sunghoon picked up his phone, scrolling through their old messages, his heart clenching with each sweet word and shared joke. He remembered their first date, the nervous excitement as they sat across from each other at a small café, sipping on coffee and talking for hours. He had been captivated by her smile, the way she lit up when she talked about her passions. They had walked along the river afterward, hands brushing until he finally gathered the courage to hold hers. It had felt like the beginning of something magical.

He closed his eyes, letting the memories wash over him. The weekend getaway to the mountains, where they hiked during the day and cuddled by the fire at night. The spontaneous road trip to the beach, where they played in the waves and collected seashells. Every moment had been perfect, every experience richer because she was by his side.

Sunghoon’s chest tightened as he thought about the night of their argument. He had been so frustrated, the stress from work boiling over into their conversation. He had said things he didn’t mean, his anger masking his love for her. He had seen the hurt in her eyes, the way she had tried to hold back tears. He wanted to reach out, to pull her into his arms and apologize, but his pride had held him back. Instead, he had walked away cowardly, the silence between them heavy and oppressive.

Now, he regretted every word, every moment of stubborn silence. He missed her laugh, the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited, the feeling of her hand in his. He missed the way she understood him, sometimes better than he understood himself. Without her, everything felt dull and lifeless. The world seemed less vibrant, the colors muted.

Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew he had to make things right. He couldn’t bear this distance any longer, couldn’t stand the thought of living without her. He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. He knew she wouldn't dare be at her own apartment, that wasn’t like his lover he knew. He knew she had to be out, maybe working extra hours at the local library or even at the mall to distract her from the feelings that ached her at night. He would need to go talk to her two friends if he wanted an exact location.

As he walked, he thought about all the things he would say. He would tell her how much he missed her, how every moment without her felt like an eternity when he did find her.

The streets were quiet, the evening air cool against his skin. Sunghoon’s heart pounded in his chest, a mix of fear and hope. When he finally reached the rented building of her friends, he paused, taking a deep breath before knocking.

Jake answered, his expression immediately turning wary when he saw Sunghoon. “Sunghoon?”

“I need to talk to you guys about Y/N,” Sunghoon said, trying to keep his voice steady. Jake stepped aside reluctantly, allowing Sunghoon to enter. Isa was sitting on the couch, and she looked up with a frown as he walked in.

“Sunghoon, this isn’t a good time,” Isa said, her voice tinged with frustration.

“I know you’re not happy to see me,” Sunghoon began, “but I need to find her. It’s important.”

Jake crossed his arms, standing protectively by Isa. “She doesn’t want to see you, Sunghoon. You need to respect that.”

“I get that I messed up,” Sunghoon said, his frustration bubbling up. “But I need to talk to her, to make things right. Please, just tell me where she is.” Isa and Jake exchanged a glance, a silent conversation passing between them then finally, Isa sighed and looked back at Sunghoon, her eyes filled with a mix of pity and anger.

“She’s trying to move on, Sunghoon,” Isa said firmly. “You need to let her go.” Sunghoon had saw the worried stare they had held between eachother and a strong uneasy feeling washed over him, his patience wearing thin. “You’re hiding something, i see it. I’m not here to play mind games, i’m here to figure out where my girlfriend is” He urged. Isa and Jake sighed before Isa had opened the little cabinet below the coffee table, pulling out an envelope and handing it to the taller in front of her.

“we got this in the mail yesterday," Jake said, breaking the awkward silence as Sunghoon examined the envelope. Sunghoon sat in disbelief as he stared at the envelope his friends had just handed him. It was plain and unassuming, yet Sunghoon had a sinking feeling that whatever was inside would change everything.

"What is this?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He was frozen from fear, and the feeling of impending doom that washed over him, His hands tremble over the open slit that was already made by the two who sat in front of him. “I…I can’t open it.” It was getting harder to breathe. The tension in the room grew thicker. Isa’s face softened with sadness, and she looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Jake stepped forward, his expression grim.

“She’s…she’s erasing you, Sunghoon,” Jake said quietly. The words hit Sunghoon like a punch to the gut. “What do you mean, erasing me?” disbelief painted his mouth thickly, like oil paint. “She went to a clinic,” Jake explained, his voice heavy. “They specialize in erasing memories of someone the client wants gone. She’s trying to forget you, Sunghoon.” He finished and Sunghoons stomach twisted inward, his throat holding back the nausea he’d experience.

In almost a second his eyes dart down to the document that explained the procedure and the precautions necessary to find the shipping address below the signature “Sunghoon…” Isa tried to explain, maneuvering the blanket that covered her lap to stand up. But Sunghoon wasn’t listening, her words like fuzz bled into his ears. The surrounding areas around him had became almost uncannily non-existent and the envelope in his hand had became moist from the sweat his palms had produced. A piercing continuous beep had replaced the muffled voices of jake and isa and the tv that sat in front of the three for background noise, all he could think about was her.

About the procedure, about the feelings her would forget when it was said and done. Jakes hand had snapped him out of the reeling disassociation his mind had made him experience “Are you alright?” Jake had asked worryingly, but Sunghoon just replied in a cough and without another word, he bolted out of the apartment, his heart racing. He had to reach her before it was too late.

Sunghoon stood outside the clinic, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He had run the entire way, his mind racing with disbelief and desperation.

The clinic loomed in front of him, its sterile facade a stark contrast to the chaos inside his heart. He pushed through the double doors, his eyes scanning the waiting room frantically, barely taking in his surroundings as he made his way to the reception desk. “I’m looking for Y/N L/N” he said breathlessly. “Please, I need to see her.”

The receptionist looked up, her expression professional but slightly wary. Her hesitation became greatly known to Sunghoon fast. He knew he looked crazy, almost insane by the way the older womens eyes dialated with fear. His hair had been disheveled and the cold crisp air of winter had painted his nose a bright Rudolph red from all the running he did “I’m sorry, sir, but—”

“Please,” Sunghoon interrupted, his voice cracking. Something in his desperation must have reached her, because she nodded slowly. “She’s in Room 3” Sunghoon sprinted down the hall, his footsteps echoing loudly. He reached the first floor to where “room 3” was plastered in bold font on a hanging sleek sign and took another 4 big strides before throwing the door open, his eyes landing on Y/N, who was lying on a reclined chair, electrodes attached to her temples.

“Stop!” he shouted, rushing to her side. The technician operating the machine paused, startled by the sudden intrusion “You cannot be back here!” Y/N’s eyes fluttered open, confusion and sadness swirling in them as she looked at him. “Sunghoon?” He closed the distance between them without a second thought and in a few strides his chest was heaving. "I know what you're about to do. Please, don't go through with this."

Y/N’s gaze hardened, a protective shell forming around her vulnerability. "Why do you care, Sunghoon? You said it yourself—sometimes love isn’t enough." Sunghoon’s face contorts with regret. "I know what I said, and I was wrong. I was angry and frustrated, but that doesn’t mean i should’ve treated you like that. Please, let’s talk about this."

Y/N shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. "Talking isn’t going to fix this. We’re broken, Sunghoon. We hurt each other too much."

He reached out, his hand trembling as it cupped Y/N’s cheek. "We can try to fix it. We can learn from our mistakes. But erasing me, erasing us—it won’t solve anything. It’ll just leave us emptier than before."

Y/N closes her eyes, leaning into his touch despite the almost burning frustration she felt from doing so. "I can’t keep living with this pain. Every memory, every moment we shared, it’s like a sword had punctured my lung."

Sunghoon’s voice cracked, desperation seeping into his words. "If you do this, we’ll lose everything. The good memories, the laughter, the love. Please, Y/N, don’t let go of us this way." She took a deep breath, her voice trembling. "What if it’s too late? What if we can’t fix this? What if you can’t forgive me for doing this?"

Sunghoon shook his head, his grip on her hand tightening. "I would never hold this against you, you’re vulnerable Y/N, I would never take advantage of you like this. It’s never too late. We can start over, we can rebuild. But we need to do it together. Don’t, Y/N. Please.” Y/N looked between Sunghoon and the panicked doctor who was on the phone with security, wastefully debating between the comfort of forgetting and the pain of holding on.

Sunghoon's footsteps echoed softly on the deserted platform, the early morning mist curling around his ankles in a cooling breeze. He adjusted his scarf, trying to fend off the biting chill of the ghostly morning, and scanned the horizon for the first hint of dawn. He loved these quiet moments, when the world still asleep, it coddled him in a warm sense of possibilities. But today, an uneasy feeling gnawed at his usually calm demeanor, something the train platform rarely gave him.

Y/N stood at the other end of the platform, her breath forming small clouds in the frosty air as she tried to find comfort in the cold crisp air. She shoved her hands deeper into her coat pockets, seeking warmth and comfort. The train station felt like a ghost town, a stark contrast to the noisy chaos that usually accompanied her mornings.

Both of their eyes met across the platform, and for a split second, time seemed to freeze. There was something eerily familiar in Sunghoon's impatient colding gaze, something that tugged at the edges of Y/N's memory. But before she could dwell on it, the loudspeaker crackled to life, announcing the arrival of the next train.

Sunghoon hesitated, then took a step toward Y/N, meeting her in the middle of the trains inside "Hey," he said, his voice sounding strangely loud in the quiet almost empty train. "Do I know you?"

Y/N blinked, caught off guard. "I... I don't think so," she replied, though uncertainty laced her words. "But you seem familiar. Have we met before?"

Sunghoon frowned, searching his mind for any recollection but no memories had seemed to reenter his consciousness. "I don't think so. But... I have this weird feeling that we have. Maybe in another life or something."

Y/N chuckled, a soft, wistful sound. "Yeah, maybe. Or maybe we're just two strangers on the same train." She joked, earning a small laugh from the taller.

footnotes!.

keb notes!: HEYYYY SO LIKEE…I do not like this piece at all lolz 😆. I feel like it was rushed even though i spent 2 months on it, the formatting is off and most of all, i honestly just feel like i did an ASS job at writing this whole thing but i love ariana grande so i had to put this out there..also…MY ASS DID NOT GRAMMAR CHECK THIS SSORRRYYY😭😭

if you couldn’t tell this us based off of the 2004 movie “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” it’s honestly one of my favorite movies and when one of my favorite artists made a song referencing the movie in her music video i knew i had to write something ab it lol😭

This is also my first ever enhypen fic on tumblr!! I’ll be posting a jake fluff to compensate for this fic tho…

pls make a jay “bro she’s busy” text au like hoons😭 IM SO IN LOVEEE

bro she’s busy

- jay texts

enhypen texts masterlist

absolutely I can 🤭 thanku for requesting bffie!!

---

for well and for good | park sunghoon

pairing: sunghoon x gn!reader

genre: angst

wc: 1k

warnings: allusions to a toxic past relationship (sunghoon and unnamed ex), crying (a lot), hurt-no-comfort fic, heartbreak; sunghoon realises his feelings for you too late

a/n: all i want is to break hearts <3

a/n pt 2: umm, not a solid plot but more so like a scene building concept?

there wasn’t a more heartbreaking moment than this, not for sunghoon; not even when the consequences of his actions that led him here had played out exactly as you had warned him it would.

now it was too late, and beg as he might, a heavy feeling in his chest slowly settled against his favour, a premonition turning true and cry as much as he wanted, everything was spiralling out of control so fast, he wasn’t sure who he should save first.

“(y/n)...(y/n) please, i can’t do this, i can’t live without you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, please don’t leave, i need you…i love you.”

the more he weeped for a lost cause, the more it hurt your chest and ripped you apart piece by piece but you made no attempts at stopping the pain.

everyone had always assumed that you and sunghoon would be the endgame. it was so obvious! you both were head over heels for each other, but of course, of course the heart wavers ever so often now and then. sunghoon let himself ignore all the signs, pretend that the affection and sweet words weren’t another ploy for his wealth, his looks, his popularity, the safety and love he was so willing to provide someone, because he was always so very generous. generous and ridiculously naive; always looking to give away a piece of himself to anyone who so much as asked for it.

and a man in love is hard to sway again, especially when the man is sunghoon, with his giving nature and so much love that filled his heart that he couldn’t contain it any longer.

words were said – spit almost venomously at the cost of saving face and pride, and how dare you question his love and hers, when you had no business? how dare you make assumptions about this beautiful woman who loved him – at least he hoped she did – as much as he did?

and then…and then everything you said came true. your warnings carefully etched themselves like knife carvings on a paper – vehemently and so very stubbornly irreversible. now he’s here, after months of grieving not just the loss of his trust in love, but also you. and he had to make things right, but how does one convince a person they've broken and trampled upon so mercilessly, that they are indeed in love with them?

how does sunghoon convince you that he’s so utterly in love with you that he could physically feel the pain of your pointed ignoring and cold looks? how does he even begin to express how sorry he was when the unsaid apology squeezed the breath out of him in aggrieved pants? how does sunghoon not lose you again?

“”i’m sorry hoon, i can’t do this anymore. i can’t love you anymore, i don’t want to love you anymore…you’ve hurt me too much.”

“(y/n) please, please i beg you,”

and beg he did; getting down on his knees on the cold tile floors of your living room, he wrapped his arms around your waist and dampened your shirt with his hot tears. neither he nor you were making much sense of this conversation anymore.

he felt you shake in his embrace, your own tears and gasps of air breaking his chants of an apology, his hands tightening around you to physically feel your touch after months.

“hoon stop it,” a wretched sob, ugly as it sounded when it tumbled out of your lips in pain, like a helpless rotten fruit falling off its branches, makes you whimper and clutch onto the clinging man's hand who refused to let you go.

in a hurried motion sunghoon is up on his feet, holding you by the shoulder that shakes with the cries staining your cheeks.

“i can’t live without you, please give me another chance,” he shakes his head frantically, mumbling out his words in a frenzy as he is yet again painfully reminded of exactly how weighted his words were and how much truth they held in them. it weighed him down, your refusal to look past this, like a sack of cotton drowning in water, and yet he could not bring himself to blame you, hoping against hope that his words would make a change.

his lips find your forehead, pressing down on them in a hot kiss; the trembling of his lips breaks you, you wish would stop – but he doesn’t. he’s kissing your shoulder, your arms, your wrists, your palms and he’s kissing your forehead – again and again and again and again – until you push yourself away, your eyes closed, shaking your head.

“don’t, it’s time we stopped this. we can’t hope for things that were never meant to be.”

sunghoon was standing on the edge of a cliff, and you just pushed him off into a bottomless pit that made his insides curl into themselves, his hands shooting in the air for something to grasp but there’s only air that passes through his fingers like bullets.

in his last attempt he kisses you on the lips. he holds your face so gently and kisses you so deeply and for a moment you feel yourself swaying. you let him kiss you, because you know this would be the last time you would let this happen. you whimper into his mouth and he lets a broken sob tumble on your lips where it stays as a reminder of this very moment, searing you both apart. you don’t kiss back.

“stop it, please. you’re hurting me.” it’s a whispered plea, but to sunghoon it’s a huge boulder that blocks his way from you. you’ve planted it there for once and for all, and he knows that there’s nothing he can do to make you move it.

“i’m sorry, i love you, but i don't want to anymore. i’m sorry.” 

sunghoon rests his forehead against yours, your tears mingled and continuous and he knows he’s lost you now, for well and for good.

till forever falls apart 𑁍ࠬܓ jake sim

pairing: widower!jake x fem!reader

genre: LOTS of angst like a lot, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort/no comfort, some fluff here and there, coming of age, bittersweet ending.

word count: 8k words (or more..)

synopsis: jake came unto your life when you needed it the most. you didn’t expect it but he did and it all did happen on that one specific bench behind the beach you both grew up on, that one summer night. jake just had no idea you would slip through his fingers the way you did. and not that fast either.

warnings: character death, grief & loss, jake is a widower and has a daughter, unknown illness, mature language & cursing, low self worth, depression, mental break downs, fighting, marriage, mentions of seizures, hospitality, medication, just a lot of sad shit i’m so sorry in advanced.

a/n: here it is. mind you i wrote this with a heavy heart and a lot of thoughts in mind ( ; ω ; ) but either way i hope you all like this as much as i liked writing it. this is not proofread by the way, i apologize.

Jake’s feet were practically dragging. Everyone would probably have noticed that but in that moment, his biggest wish would probably be to erase everyone’s existence. He’s been living in his own shadow for felt like years. The only one he’s been vividly making eye contact with was his daughter and the florist he’s been going to for the past few months. Yet it felt for much longer. After all he was counting the days. With a heavy heart that was once filled to the brim with happiness and all the things he’s ever wanted.

The florist, a lady in her late fifties, always welcomed Jake with open arms and it was gestures like that, that made him feel smaller than ever. He wanted to return it, he really did but all he could do, was request the bouquet of flower he was in search for, with an even heavier heart. And if the words weren’t enough, he would point to that one specific section where they were kept. It usually didn’t take long since he memorized it.

Your favorite ones.

Peonies.

His mom called him before he left to buy those flowers. He was surprised with how different she sounded compared to him, or maybe it was because he was starting to forget how everyone sounded, especially those the closest to him. After all he was completely wrapped up in his own arms that felt far too empty and cold to the touch that he couldn’t help but let it happen. With his phone pressed to his ear, he let his mom do the talking while he was busy staring at nothing. More like the place where you used to sleep beside him and him basking in the comfort of your soft snores. You felt so close, so warm. You provided the warm that was missing and now he had to bask unto nothing but coldness. A lit up candle couldn’t even mend the wounds together. He had no idea how long he stayed on the phone with his mom for but at some point he could hear her sniffle and being in the state he was, he couldn’t ask her what was wrong. He was barely doing better himself.

And the call ended with him saying nothing and her saying it wasn’t his fault. The exact same thing she said the last time he saw her those many months ago.

He was debating whether to go check in on his daughter, knowing she would question the state he was. It wad the witty and her ability to be attentive and Jake knew she got that from you. He saw you right through her.

These were one of the days where he was far too deep unto the dark corners of his mindset where he didn’t bother with himself and how hard he was on himself. Jake almost breathed a sigh in relief when he saw his daughter still passed out in her bed, white sheets pulled up to her chin and tightly wrapped around her, the cloud lamp that you gifted to her on her fourth birthday, perfectly dimmed and casting a mellow glow over the roundness of her cheeks. Down on the floor, was Layla sleeping, with her resting on her front paws. The dog he got when he was ten, the one you raised with him.

This was one of the moments where Jake allowed himself to smile, a small smile without feeling bad for doing so.

Jake shook his head when he heard a voice briefly pull him out of his thoughts. His visions cleared and he saw the florist give him a sympathetic smile, probably sensing something, the grey hair framing her face in a way that matched her soft yet gentle features.

“Are you okay, young man?”

Jake was a bit taken aback but settled for a nod before eyeing the bouquet that the lady has managed to wrap up with obvious care.

It was like she saw right through him.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone.” She sadly smiled.

“These flowers,” She gestured to the Peonies, “They are for someone.. someone special, aren’t they?”

Gulping, Jake averted his eyes but still nodded.

“She was my everything,” He slowly forced out and he saw the lady perk up, “My childhood sweetheart, my best friend, my wife. And the mother to our daughter.”

“She was also basically everything I wasn’t yet she still made sure to remind me that she would love me no matter what. Her grip on my hand was tight until it wasn’t but even so, I knew she wouldn’t let go no matter what,” Jake swallowed back his urge to cry, but talking about her tugged at the strings holding him together. And he felt like the lady sensed that before she settled a old wrinkly hand on his shoulder.

The tears were already rolling down by then. Tears he’s been holding in all those months ever since.

“She sounded lovely,” Patting his shoulder, she continued, “I know she would’ve been proud of you especially for still being here, somewhere on the ground where she can look at you from afar,”

“I miss her, ma’am.” Looking up with bloodshot eyes, the lady offered another sympathetic smile, before handling him a tissue.

“I know, child.” She nodded, “I’m not saying you will overcome this grief soon or frankly ever. But you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. When you think about her, please do not always think about the negatives that comes along with it, think about the fact that out of everyone, you were the one she chose. Think about how she chose to love you even with all your flaws and how none of those things would ever change the way she saw you.”

Jake remembered the day. Clear and bright under the moonlight. He was eleven, fairly tall for his height with black strands that always fell over his eyes with how the wind always loved to mess with it. Everyone said that he had that soft look yet gentle demeanor look from his mom, he’s heard it so much to the point where he started believing them. After all his mom was a phenomenal woman.

Ever since dad walked out on both of them, mom has tried her hardest to raise him by herself despite her being young still. She was still in her youth and it was a sad sight to not see her do all the things people her age did. Travel the world, figure out themselves and planning their future without anyone standing in their way of doing so. Jake’s biggest fear was being in her way specifically, being a burden but the warmth from her embrace managed to tell him everything he needed to know. And so he tried his best to help her despite not knowing half of the things he did but he didn’t want his mom to cry anymore. He didn’t want her to downgrade herself and blame herself for things that were out of her control. He wanted her to go to bed with a gentle mindset and now all of the things that used to eat her up.

His mom went to sleep early that night and Jake promised himself that he would prep himself his own dinner and cut up some fruit for his mom since he knew she loved those, and then take out the trash.

Opening the gates, he dragged the plastic bag behind him before dumping it in the big green trash container. The summer nights were getting warmer and times like this reminded Jake off how much he loved it. Giving a toothy grin, he whipped his two hands on the front of his shorts before turning back to head inside, but not before casting a look over his shoulder.

There he saw someone. A few feet away from him.

At first, Jake had no idea what they were doing before walking closer. They were just. Sitting on the bench, in front of the beach. How odd.

“If you’re gonna stare, can you at least be less.. obvious with it?” The person asked, almost nonchalantly.

It was a girl.

Jake didn’t respond, fear of embarrassing himself further so he settled for walking closer to her before taking a seat beside her. So this was what she was doing, just looking at the waves. This late at night?

The young boy scratched behind his head with a small chuckle, “Sorry.. I didn’t think you would notice me,”

She casted him a side eye look before rolling her eyes.

“You’re not exactly quiet.”

And then she turned to stare back at the beach’s many waves. The stars glimmering in reflection with the water. It was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that.

He never bothered looking at where she was looking. But instead he decided to take her in. She was dressed in a white nightgown with a scruff at the end and at the ends of the sleeves, her hair wasn’t tied up or anything but fell behind her shoulders due to the wind, pointy nose, eyelashes casting a dim shadow on her the top of her cheeks which were a bit flushed due to the not too chilly breeze.

Jake might’ve been young but he wasn’t young enough to not know was beauty was when he saw it. And this might have been the prettiest girl he’s ever laid his eyes on. She might’ve been as beautiful as his mom.

“You really have a staring problem,” She told him, amusement evident in her voice.

“What!” Jake shook his head before scooting away from her, “What is that even supposed to mean!”

“Hmmm…” The still unknown girl tapped her chin lightly.

“It means you stare too much. My mom says that stuff will have you go blind.”

So this was how she wanted to play.

“Well, she’s wrong!”

He knew he hit a sensitive spot when the girl before him gaped lightly at what he said before huffing. He felt the panic dwell in and he was about to apologize before he heard her burst unto a fit of laughter.

“You should have seen the look on your face!”

Jake knew that day, that her laughter, that sound was his favorite melody of all time.

⋆

If anyone asked what you thought of Jake, the first thing that immediately came to your mind was — an oddball.

It didn’t add more to it when you both lived in the same neighborhood. Only two houses away from each other. To add more to it, your mom and his mom knew each other since they used to go to the same highschool together. They both suffered from the loss of their husbands, with yours dying before you were even born, which meant you had no idea who he was. So you lived off your mom’s words about him, the picture frames around the house and the photobooks your mom kept in a small box in the basement.

It was like your moms’ relationship drew you closer to Jake and now that you took a closer look at him, he wasn’t so bad and he wasn’t as irritating as the other boys in your class. The ones who said girls had cooties and girl disease. In fact, you took a hold of how Jake wanted or more so, looked forward to spending time with you any chance he got. He also came by a lot especially after school asking for you. You were pretty sure your mom held some kind of favoritism towards him because she never wasted a breath when it came to the boy with the brightest eyes you’ve ever seen. And before you knew it, you warmed up to him. It didn’t take long but it wasn’t fast either. You were a girl with a lot of things on your mind and frankly, you were just perfectly fine in your own world and peace. But Jake managed to add something to that. You had no idea what or how, but he did.

“Y/N look!”

You looked up from how absentmindedly you were coloring in a butterfly, when you saw Jake running towards you..

With a dog? On a leash?

You sat up with a slight gasp at the sight out of the creature and before you knew it, the dog hopped on you leaving gentle but happy licks all over your face.

“Layla, no!” Jake yelled sternly.

Holding up your arms, you tried blocking them away with a loud laugh before you settled for petting her. Not before pushing her away tho.

“Oh my,” The boy before you sighed in distress, a hand coming up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. “I’m so sorry about that Y/N. She’s still a puppy, so she’s full of energy,”

“Don’t apologize,” You shake your head before allowing Layla to take up the space on your lap for some more scritches.

“But I’m kinda mad, why didn’t you tell me you had a dog!”

“Umm…” Jake giggled sheepishly, “I actually just got her a few days ago. I was gonna tell you eventually..”

You gasped in mock offense before picking up a coloring pencil to throw at him.

“Hey!”

“You could’ve still have told me!”

“I was going to!”

Your bickering stopped by Layla jumping off your lap and running around the both of you in circles, indicating she wanted to play and have some energy spent. As if she hasn’t done that already.

“We we’re actually planning on going to the beach,”

Jake saw the way your eyes lit up and he couldn’t help the quick stutter his heart did. What was this feeling?

“Really? Can I join?”

“That was the plan, silly,”

Dusting off your lap from Layla’s jump earlier, you were about to stand up before two hands grabbed yours. Gently, they pulled you up to your feet and then gently let go. Almost as if knowing what was going on, Layla looked back and forth between the two young humans in front of her, before she barked to gather their attention.

“Oh! Uh, she’s getting impatient, we should go,” Jake quickly mumbled out before picking up his dog’s leash off the where he dropped it in the grass.

“Wait!” You looked back at your house before looking back at your friend.

And by then, Jake already knew what was stirring up your hesitation. He smiled at you reassuringly.

“I already told your mom. She said dinner will be done by the time you’re home.”

You could finally let out the breath you’ve been holding.

“Plus your mom loves me,” Jake quipped teasingly.

The young boy laughed at your eye roll and before you both knew it, you were both running, along with Layla down to the beach, with the dog before the both of you barking profusely with a hint of excitement. The whole afternoon was just you and Jake by each other’s side, with his dog running back and forth in the water. She even shook all of her water from her fur at both of you at some point to the point where you both were on the sand rolling around, both of your laughters mixing together that mingled in the sky above off you. It added more to the memories and you both knew you would be thinking about that day till the day you both grew old and wrinkly.

You knew that day, that you wouldn’t wanna spend days like these with anybody but with Jake.

⋆

Years went by, things blossomed and so did your bond with Jake.

It went from meeting him to that one random night on the beach, to you finding out you lived just barely away from each other, to you starting classes together properly after your mom’s job paid her enough for that to happened. You remember the sheer happiness when she told you that and how much that meant to younger you. You weren’t isolated by any means, in fact, your mom encouraged you to check the world for yourself. But you would rather have things done at your pace, so that’s what you did. Luckily she understood and you were beyond thankful.

You also noticed changes about Jake. At some point you and him were the same height, but ever since highschool hit, he’s grown like a head, almost two heads taller than you. He’s grown his fringes out, even at some point dyed it through the school years to the point where you had no idea how many times he did it. You remember one time dyeing it for him tho and that shit was a complete disaster and you wouldn’t have blamed him if he wanted to bald that way. You were still attached to the hip pretty much.

But something that has been coming back to biting you, was that you had no idea where you and Jake’s relationship were interlinked at. You were both seniors in highschool now and things were rocky. God forbid your younger self thought that growing older would result in you being able to talk about your feelings and emotions better, but no. You realized that wasn’t the case. There was definitely something holding you back. You just didn’t wanna come to terms with what it was. Running a hand through your head, you plopped down your bed, arms and legs spread out.

“Y/N?” You suddenly heard someone knock on your door before a head peeked in.

“Did you remember to take your medication?” She asked before stepping foot unto your room.

“Mom.. we already talked about this,”

“You can’t just keep pushing me away,” She insisted

You huffed before sitting, “Can’t we talk about this later please? I have to study for an upcoming exam. I promise I’ll take them later,”

“Y/N—“

“—Mom please..” You looked away from her, voice wavering, “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

You heard her sigh, before footsteps and the sound of your door being closed.

Reaching out for your phone on your bedside, your first instinct was to text Jake. But you knew the sound of his voice was exactly what you needed right now. More than anything. Hovering your thumb over his Caller ID, you slowly started debating if this really was a good idea. Now that you think about it, you and Jake haven’t really talked much due to busy schedules, and you’ve also noticed him confiding comfort in a group of friends you’ve never talked to before, while you had a group of friends of your own.

You missed him. And it was eating you up from the inside.

“Fuck it,” You whispered before dialing his number.

The ringing was not a fit match for how quick your heart was beating, it was practically beating out of your chest and you didn’t like it. Not one bit. But you couldn’t deny in how much need you were of his voice. It was almost embarrassing.

He still had no idea.

“Y/N?”

You smiled. After all this time, his voice was still your favorite tune.

“Hi Jake..”

“Y/N? Hey. Is everything okay?”

“Why do you always assume that something’s wrong?” You giggled and even tho you couldn’t see his face, you knew his face was definitely scrunched up in his one infamous frowns.

“Well, I’m sorry for caring I guess,”

“No you’re not,”

“You’re right, I’m not.”

The same old Jake.

“I miss you, y’know?” He finally spoke up, “I feel like I barely see you anymore.”

“I’m still here, Jake. Life has just.. been busy you know—“

“—Y/N, no,”

You heard some shuffling on the other side of the line, before a dejected sigh.

“It’s because I barely see you anymore. Even your friends are worried about you. You’re still at school, I know you are because I know you wouldn’t miss any of your classes no matter how busy or tired you are but you always disappear so quickly after..”

“Like is there something you aren’t telling me?”

You wanted to tell him.

You wanted to tell him so badly but you couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the look on his face when you did. He would be crushed and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself for that.

“Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine. Why wouldn’t they be?”

“Y/N—“

“No y’know what? I actually called you because I needed you and now you throw this on me—You and my mom are exactly the same. You both say the same shit and it’s pissing me off,” Not wasting a second thought, you hung up before throwing your phone on your bed, silent tears rolling down your face.

You went to sit on the bench by the beach the same day, after you heard your mom went to bed. Pulling up your knees closer to yourself, you were silently beating yourself up for not wearing something warmer. Though, you were eyeing your jacket, more or so Jake’s jacket that was hanging around your chair but decided not to take it at last minute.

Wrapping your arms around your knees, you took a look up at the night sky. The moon was seeking it’s place behind some dark clouds, the stars were doing their own things, the wind was getting colder. It was as if everything was going by slower? Or faster? You were not sure anymore but you knew it’s been an push and pull trick ever since that day.

Would it be too early to give up now?

“I knew I would find you here.”

“You can’t keep running away from us, from me, Y/N. I won’t let that happen,”

You turned your head, tears slowly starting to brim your eyes again. You didn’t want him to see you this way. Then there is a sudden pressure on your shoulders and by now you knew Jake has wrapped your upper body up in his jacket, with him now in his white sweatshirt and black plaid pajamas pants. He wasn’t expecting any response from you, in fact, he was just happy to be in your presence and not you running away nor pushing him away.

“I won’t force you to say anything,” He slowly sits down, the space beside you always available for him. There hasn’t been a day where it hasn’t been.

“But.. I hope you know you can talk—“

“I don’t have a lot of time, Jake,”

The first pen drop.

When you didn’t receive any response, you turned your head and hoped for the worst. Jake was still staring forward, towards the waves and how more far away they suddenly sounded.

“I only have two years left.”

That made him turn his head to look at you. The look in his eyes made your heart drop. In all these many years you’ve known Jake, you have never seen him look like this, so empty, so hollow of thoughts, so broken and if you weren’t such a mess yourself, you would have tried to pick up pieces back together. But what was it worth if you couldn’t even pick up your own? Staying alive at this point felt like a chore, a walk even down to the beach sometimes took all the air out of your lungs if you didn’t take your medications.

You managed to catch the tear you saw roll down his cheek with the soft pad of your thump. He gripped your wrist in his hand when he felt it about to retreat and held it up to his cheek, fearing you would disappear faster if he didn’t. Your warmth was all he needed now. Jake hated asking for too much but he wanted to be selfish for once, right now.

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, feeling the tears roll again, “I should’ve told you. But this was what I was fearing for. Seeing your reaction, seeing the look on your face especially after—“

Feeling a warm gentle hand cupping your cheek, you felt your words get caught in your throat when you took in the way he looked at you now. There was still sadness lingering but you really couldn’t put a finger on what the rest was. But that didn’t really occur your mind. You just needed him to say something.

“Jake, please say something..” You begged, voice cracking, “Yell at me, scream at me, anything!”

You failed to see the way he moved closer.

“Especially for the way I’ve been treating you. That’s the least I deserve,” Pushing at his chest, you couldn’t help but let more tears roll, the place on your lap a sea of your own sorrows by that point

“Why are you looking at me like that, Jake please—“

Your hands faltered their pushing on his chest when you felt something soft yet wet on your lips. Closing your eyes which were still filled with tears, you pushed yourself closer and basked in the gentle kiss that belonged to him.

It was always him.

You knew it by now, you knew it ever since your first encounter on that one night at the beach, at the exact same place where you were at now.

⋆

A lot has changed, with how low your energy has gotten, you couldn’t bring yourself to attend to classes psychically anymore. And by what your personal doctor has said, any stress can trigger the most especially in the state you’re in right now and nobody, especially your mother wouldn’t ever wanna take that risk. So you settled for going to school but at home instead, in the walls of your room. Your routine has gotten progressively more straightforward than what it usually was. You were drained and the eye bags under your would tell anyone a story that you, yourself wouldn’t be able to, lips chapped and peeling. You could barely recognize the sight of yourself anymore.

Jake was walking around with a heavy heart. You were finally his but at what cost? These past weeks has just been him lingering by your side more and more each day to the point he might practically live at your place now. Frankly, he wasn’t doing better himself. He was beating himself up for making everything seem like your fault when nothing was ever your fault to begin it. The world was just too cruel to make space for someone as precious and as delicate as you, the world never deserved you. Jake can’t count the amount of times he’s managed to utter those words to you, while trailing his browns over your features, with your hands interlocked under the sea of stars and crescent moon. And he memorized your reaction to his words each time. You were really the most endearing piece of art to him.

He knew you were trying. You even told him you were so he wouldn’t worry too much, you would fe your ribs construct whenever you saw the way he was trying so hard to keep himself from breaking down when he felt the warmth from your hands, from your body slowly leave your body day by then. All that warmth that you usually provided, was all gone. All the warmth he would confide in whether it was after a stressful day after of classes, work or the insignificant days where he got unto an argument with his mother. He was seeking for your warmth everywhere he went.

Yet Jake held unto the last amount of warmth you had left. That was all he could do.

“Jake,” He heard his mother’s voice speak up before he felt her shake his shoulders, obviously trying to wake him from his afternoon nap.

“I’m up, I’m up,” Groaning he sat up and was met with his mom’s frantic pacing.

He gave her a confused look.

“Mom—?”

“It’s Y/N,” She breathed out, “Her mom just called from the at the hospital..”

“Apparently she had a seizure,”

That was then Jake felt his whole world collapse.

This couldn’t be..

“B-But how.. I.. She was okay when I saw her last day..” He felt his breath getting stuck along with his world. This couldn’t be. His mom didn’t say anything but instead pulled him unto his arms and that was where Jake allowed himself to break down fully. Without any care in the world. You were getting further and further away each day and he had no idea how to cope with it. He was angry, frustrated, why was he letting this happen? Why couldn’t he have done more? For you?

You deserved everything, but this.

⋆

“I will miss seeing the stars,”

Even with a light hoarse lilt to your voice, it still sounded soft and gentle in Jake’s ears. Like it always has. You were wearing a soft smile when looking at the stars from the hospital window, that never seemed to falter when you turned to look at him.

“I know you will, my love.”

Your smile faltered when you noticed that he was in deep in thoughts. He always we’re but this time it wasn’t out of sheer sadness and distress but more like.. he was bashful?

“Is something bothering you, my Jake?”

He didn’t respond but from the corner of your eyes, you saw him pull out a small black velvet box. You gasped.

“I know we’re still young and all but..” He says carefully, “But you’re probably the only person I’ve ever felt this sure with. This secure with and I honestly couldn’t have asked for someone better,”

Slowly opening the box, there was it. A ring. A silver ring littered with small diamonds on the sides, with the biggest one being shaped in a crystallized star. You looked up and you realized Jake hasn’t looked away from you once, trying his best to read your reaction and body language, making sure he hasn’t been overstepping anything.

“I know you hate asking for much, just like I do but..”

“Jake I..” You shake your head, eyes wide, “It’s beautiful..”

Taking out the ring from the box, he gently took your hand before slipping the ring on before bringing it up to seal it with a kiss to your knuckles.

“You don’t have to say anything.. I know that—“

“My Jake, of course I wanna marry you..”

⋆

Jake woke up startled to the someone knocking on his front door. Automatically he reached beside him but was met with nothing but the cold sheets.

Heaving another deep sigh from his chest, he slipped on slippers before walking downstairs, careful not to wake up his daughter. He was met with Layla who was pressing her snout against the door, curious herself, tail slightly wagging before letting out a small bark at the sight of her owner

“Hey girl,” He cooed with a scratch to the canine’s head, “Be quiet now, wouldn’t wanna wake anyone up would we?”

Honestly, Jake had no idea what he was expecting when opening the door but..

“Mrs. Y/N?”

“Hi son..” She muttered, “I hope you’re doing okay. Look, I-I don’t have much time but this morning I came across this while cleaning up in Y/N’s room and found this,”

The woman gave a careful smile and that was then he noticed a small envelope in her hand.

“I was about to open it but I think it was meant for you,”

Carefully taking the letter, he examined it before turning it around where he noticed something written in messy yet distinguished writing.

‘For him <3’

⋆

‘Dear you,

I don’t know what this letter will be when you receive it but I hope it lands safely in your hands.

Life hasn’t been easy and to be honest, I never expected it to be. You and I both know that. But what I do know is that you’ve made my life easier. I don’t know if that has do with the solace from your words or the stars from your eyes. But in me somewhere, I knew you changed my life for the better. I can’t think of a person who’s made me laugh and smile as much as you have, I think that itself alone is impossible if you ask me.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself. And if you are, a reminder that I never wanted you to be and neither does your mother and our daughter. I may not be here when you read this so please think about them when life gets hard and when you can feel yourself shift the blame on yourself for all the things that was never your fault to begin with. I didn’t ask for how my life turned out, neither did you. None of us did. Life just has some dwelling sometimes and at some point, they like to take it out on one of us.

It’s not fair. I know.

But I hope you can look up at the stars and see me.

I will always be here with you.

Your, Y/N L/N.’

taglist: @karinasbaby @nishions @hittoki @superbbananananana @mimizen127 @jjunie-0 @ghostiiess

2024 © fariest, do not copy, modify or post my work to other sites

# TEASER ! my universe (mila bday chapter) excerpt, universe 001: xo kitty . . .

---

Match

Summary: Starting a relationship with with the girl he hated was a terrible idea.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, enemies to lovers, meandom!sunghoon, brat!reader, humiliation, degradation, swearing, Powerplay? Reader says no but means yes?

Word count: 11.3k I think 🤔

A/N: @stinkoscope you are not allowed to give me any more ideas 😤

Being an idol was lonely.

This was something that Park Sunghoon had learned the hard way. Yes, he had his fellow members, but the attention and companionship that he craved was something that six other men could never provide for him. Sure, he had millions of fans, girls that would die to get close to him. But they only knew his persona. The pretty smile and introverted charm, played up to entice young girls to swoon over him. The bulging biceps and blade sharp jawline crafted purely to increase album sales. The world knew Park Sunghoon, but they didn't know just Sunghoon.

He was lonely.

He was lonely, and longing for a connection deeper than the brief brushes with the opposite sex that he was used to. But he was still Sunghoon. Which meant that despite his loneliness, he was also awfully shy and introverted. He was exceptionally bad at flirting, and pitiful when it came to holding a conversation with a pretty girl. In fact, Sunghoon couldn't hold a conversation with any girl.

Except for his self-proclaimed nemesis.

Sunghoon thought she was evil personified. Standing at almost five foot two, he could never wrap his head around how her short frame could contain so much malice. He had met her after striking an amazing brand deal with an extremely influential company. He recalled how excited he had been to sign contracts with the company.

He had taken extra care that one fateful day to sculpt every strand of hair on his head, to make sure there wasn't a speck of lint on his neat clothes. The CEO had been running just a tad late, leaving Sunghoon to sit at the long rectangular meeting table, drumming his fingers lightly against the dark mahogany wood. He was actually quite comfortable being all alone, when the giant door swung open. If Sunghoon was being honest, he didn't actually see her at first. Rather, he didn't see her face at first. Instead, he saw two giant pitchers of iced americano coffee, clearly too heavy for the tiny person holding them.

She teetered in what Sunghoon guessed were probably six inch heels, her pretty french tipped toes peeking out. He almost had no control over his eyes as they raked up her body, his long legs crossing at the ankle as he took her in. Two smooth, molten brown legs, thick thighs and hips that were struggling against the tightness of her short skirt. It was making him salivate a bit, thinking of how nice it'd be to stuff his face between those pretty thighs. He was quite taken by the way her waist dipped in, leading up to what may have been the prettiest pair of tits that he had ever had the chance to ogle at. Her face was just as pretty. Full, glossy lips, the kind that made him fantasize. About feeling them against his own, feeling them puckered against the sensitive spots on his neck, watching them suckle and shine prettily as she slobbered and gagged on his dickhead grinding into the back of her throat. A cute little button nose, that he'd enjoy kissing affectionately as he rearranged her guts, or maybe it'd tickle his tummy and he'd gently pinch it shut just a bit when he forced her mouth down to the base of his thick cock. Big round eyes, shiny, and innocent, and doll like. He wanted to watch those pretty chocolate eyes water and roll back in her head as her cunt locked around his dick. Sunghoon blushed at the tent forming in his pants, embarrassment overtaking him at the dirty thoughts playing in his head.

She had her phone between her shoulder and ear, huffing lightly at whomever was on the other end.

"Yes, I'm setting up for it right now. Where are you?" She clearly wasn't paying attention to where she was going.

Because she tripped over Sunghoon's foot in those ridiculously high heels, dumping one of the two gallons of coffee all over him. She squealed, whether in surprise at seeing him or because she tripped and spilled her coffee, Sunghoon wasn't sure but he was immediately annoyed that he found the sound cute.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! I didn't see yo-"

"Clearly. Do you always go around not paying attention to anything around you?" Sunghoon was usually much better at keeping his cool, but she had totally ruined all of the work he had put into looking nice today. His white button down was soaked, his formerly perfect hair dripping all over the floor.

"Well. Who sits with their legs stretched all the way out like that? You were bound to trip someone." She was also usually much better at keeping her cool, but there was something about this gorgeous man that was already grating her nerves.

"Oh, so this is my fault? Maybe you wouldn't be so fucking clumsy if you weren't waking around in those dumbass stilts." He snapped.

"These 'dumbass stilts' cost more than your entire fucking life, you-"

"Do you know who you're talking to? If I were you, I'd shut the fuck up. Before you piss me off and get yourself fired."

"Fired?" She sounded like she had never even heard of the word.

"Fuck you." With that, she tossed the remaining pitcher on him as well.

"What the fu-"

He was cut off by the CEO entering the room. She automatically wiped the cocky grin off her face, not daring to say another word.

"What's the matter?" Sunghoon asked smugly, ringing the ice cold liquid out of his ruined shirt.

"Afraid of getting in trouble with the boss? I hope he fires you for your incompetence and lack of brain cells." He hissed. And as smug as Sunghoon was feeling, she seemed to be much smugger.

"What happened here?" The CEO inquired.

"I tripped and spilled a little coffee on him." She shrugged.

"Good grief. You'll have to forgive my granddaughter, Sunghoon. She can be a bit clumsy." Sunghoon's jaw physically dropped.

"Granddaughter?" He gasped. He made the mistake of looking at her, and it almost felt like she was telepathically telling him;

"That's right, bitch. Have fun getting me fired."

From that day onward, she made Sunghoon's life hell. His once glorious partnership was now more like torture. He hoped to just ignore her, to feign politness whenever he had to and keep to himself. It might've worked had she not been assigned to work with him throughout the entire partnership. Even though he figured it'd be best to apologize and squash any ill feelings between them, he couldn't force himself to do it. Not when she'd stick her cute little nose in the air whenever he was around. Not when she'd smile and bat her pretty eyelashes at other men, but cross her arms over her gorgeous breasts and tell him to kiss her ass. Sunghoon was just as bad. He was all smiles while the CEO was present, but as soon as he was gone, Sunghoon was telling her to go fuck herself and flipping her off.

Of course she'd be the only woman he had the nerve to talk to.

And that's what led him to talking to a matchmaker, specializing in discreet celebrity relationships, provided by Hybe. She was an older woman with stern eyes but a warm smile.

His palms were sweating, fingers tapping nervously at his thighs as he answered all of her questions about what he was looking for in a potential partner.

He felt the blood drain from his face as she began questioning his sexual preferences.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. I'm not going to make you. But the more details you give me, the more accurate your match will be. And believe me, honey, I've been in this business for quite some time. I've heard it all, and I've heard it from every idol you can imagine. No need to be embarrassed."

Hearing this only made him feel slightly better. She shook her head and removed her glasses, an amused smile on her face as if she was reasoning with a kid about something trivial.

"It's OK, Sunghoon. I promise this stays between me and you. The only other person who'll know about any of this will be whomever you match with and set a date up with. And they'll only know because their preferences will be compatible with yours, ok? So don't be shy. I'll ask the question again. Do you prefer a woman who is dominant, submissive, or either?" This conversation was making him feel like he was going to faint from embarrassment.

"Submissive." He replied quietly. 'Though I am quite fond of brats,' He thought to himself.

"Ok. And what are some things that you'd consider turn ons?" If she noticed the way he gulped at her question, she didn't make it obvious.

"I like brats." He blurted. And from there he couldn't stop the word vomit. He told her everything. Every kink, every fantasy he had, he let it all out. Before he knew it, he was red in the face, hard in his jeans and desperate to fuck. He fiddled with his long fingers as he listened to her typing away at her keyboard, eyes squinting as she read over the information in her database.

"That can't be right." She mumbled, sliding her chrome frames back onto her face before typing frantically again.

"Hmm.....it is right. Guess there's a first time for everything. Well," The matchmaker started. "Good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" Sunghoon braced himself for both.

Typical.

"I'll take the bad news first."

"You've only got one match. There's only one woman in my entire system who is a similar age, has similar interests, and the same sexual preferences as you. So if things don't work out with her, then I won't say there's no hope for you, but I can't help you." She folded her hands together, watching him visibly deflate over the rim of her glasses.

"And the good news?"

"In order for this program to consider two people a match, you have to score at least 50% compatible in three different categories. Interest, personality type, and sexual preferences. Between those three categories, most of the time the people I put together are around 55 to 60% compatible. The highest score I've ever paired were 70% compatible, and they ended up happily married with children." Sunghoon huffed irritably. He was not in the mood for stories.

"Ok, but what does that have to do with me?"

"The one girl that you're compatible with...She's a 97% match for you."

Sunghoon was at a loss for words.

"97%?!"

"Yup. 97%. That's a new record for me in my matching career, it's quite exciting don't you think?" She glanced up from gazing at a chip in her manicure when he remained silent. She had to force a giggle down at the expression on his face.

"I can see you're in shock, hun. So this is what I'll do: Here is.... her contact information. I want you to get in touch with her. Now, don't go getting all shy and bashful on me. You can do it. Just remember, you're her almost perfect match. She's looking for all of the same things you are."

Sunghoon's arms felt like jelly as he gripped the piece of paper with her information on it. He listened through cotton filled ears as she told him her name, snorting as it just so happened to be the name of his literal enemy. Before she could say much else, he got a call saying that his car had arrived to take him back to his dorm. He stood almost robotically, thanking her and bowing politely before leaving her office. His brain felt too full on the elevator ride down to the car, but the cool, smooth leather seats helped him to relax. He glanced again at the contact information on the paper. He figured he may as well call whoever this girl was now because once he was back at the dorm, privacy would be a thing of the past. He typed the number in, gnawing at his lip as it rang once, twice before someone picked up.

"What the fuck do you want, Sunghoon?" Sunghoon felt every drop of blood drain from his face, and a deep pit open up in his stomach. Without thinking, he hung the phone up.

No.

Please. Anyone but her.

Sunghoon probably scared his poor driver half to death with the frustrated holler he let out. Of all people, of all three point eight billion women on this planet, his least favorite one of all was his match. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, tossing the phone to the side in anger.

Sunghoon was going to be alone forever.

He pouted childishly at the thought. But then the matchmakers words began to play back in his mind. A 97% match. He only matched with her because she had the same interests. Because their personalities would supposedly mesh well together if they could ever stop arguing. She apparently liked a lot of the same things as he did.

She apparently had the same kinks as he did.

His eyes grew wide with that realization, his dick twitching in interest. He quickly dismissed the thought as the car pulled up to his dorm building. He breathed a sigh of relief. He needed advice. He sprinted to the elevator, impatiently jabbing the button. He shifted anxiously from foot to foot as the elevator slowly crawled to his floor, bursting out of the doors before they were even all the way open. Before he knew it, he was slamming his front door shut behind him, kicking his shoes off and yelling for his friends. He found them in the kitchen eating, curious eyes watching him as he huffed breathlessly.

"So," Jungwon drawled slowly, crater-like dimples flexing as he smirked almost knowingly. "How'd it go with the matchmaker?"

As Sunghoon told them his story, he swore he could've punched each and every one of them for laughing at his misfortune.

"It's not funny, you dickheads! What am I supposed to fucking do? We hate each other!" He whined. Jay had to wipe the tears from his eyes before offering his advice.

"Sunghoon. Haven't you ever watched one of those ridiculously cheesy romance movies where the two main characters think they hate each other, but really they're in love? Because those two emotions, love and hate, are so strong that some people, some really dense, really fucking dumb people, get them confused." Jay mused.

"...So what you're saying is that I'm the main character. Because that's all I heard." He tried to hind behind his smirk, but he was inwardly having a panic attack.

"No, he's saying call her, stupid. I don't know about anybody else, but if someone told me that somewhere out there was a chick that had a personality, interests, and sexual preferences that matched mine almost perfectly, nothing could stop me from seeing her. Like nothing. So pull your head out of your ass and text her." Jake made it sound so easy.

So Sunghoon called her. Except he may've pressed *67 first to block his name from showing up on her caller ID. And he might've deepened his voice just a bit so she wouldn't recognize it was him. And he found it was much easier to set up a date with her the following night, by lying and telling her his name was Parker. Which was almost true in his opinion. His last name, Park and Parker are basically the same thing, right? As the minutes ticked by, he only got more nervous. He had to get dressed for the date three times as he couldn't stop his nervous sweating. He gave himself a final once over in the mirror, admiring the way the expensive yet simple outfit, just a black button down and slacks, clung to his lean, toned frame just right.

'Shit.' He thought to himself. 'I'd fuck me.'

With that boost of confidence, he was snagging the pretty bouquet of flowers off of his bed, bidding his friends farewell and making his way down to his waiting car. He was hit with a refreshing burst of cool air from the AC as he climbed into the back of the van. He fiddled with his watch and bracelets as he contemplated how he'd go about this entire ordeal.

Starting a relationship with a lie was a bad idea. Starting a relationship with the girl he hated with a lie was a terrible idea.

He groaned to himself, almost in disbelief at the situation he had gotten himself into. There was nothing he could do at this point except tell the truth and attempt to mend their already strained relationship. He figured she'd probably yell. Maybe toss another drink at him. He kind of deserved it for lying, honestly. His thoughts were cut off by the driver alerting him that they had arrived, albeit a bit late because the street had been blocked to deter any persistent paparazzi. Because of the nature of their potentially budding relationship, the entire restaurant had been rented out for their privacy, and his car would stay outside the door of the restaurant waiting for him to finish his date. The street seemed unusually empty as Sunghoon stepped out, spotting a lone person sitting at a candlelit table inside.

He watched her through the window of the restaurant, feeling like his brain had hiccuped and cleared out most of his nervousness. She was glowing in the soft candlelight, the reflection of the flames dancing across her melanated skin. She had gotten all dolled up just for him. Straightened her jet-black locks, so they cascaded down her back like ocean waves at midnight. She'd put on that pretty gloss that made his tip twitch with the need to feel the back of her throat. Sunghoon had to count backwards from ten to calm himself down. Flowers in tow, he pushed open the heavy oak door, silently cursing the tiny jingling bell. She looked up from gazing at the menu in front of her, a skinny glass of wine swirling in her hand.

"You're late, Mr. Park." She crooned, siren eyes drinking in every inch of his body.

Sunghoon's dick was more than halfway hard in his slacks.

"Are you just going to stand there gawking at me?" She leaned forward just a bit, giving him a birds eye view of the delectable cleavage spilling from her corseted top.

"Or are you going to join me?" She purred, and Sunghoon almost barked.

He crossed the room in long, confident strides, opting to sit directly across from her so he could enjoy the view.

"You knew it was me?"

"How dumb do you think I am, Sunghoon? You do know that once we matched, I got a phone call from the matchmaker, right? She called me to let me know that someone would probably be getting in touch with me about a date. And then you called, and as soon as you heard my voice you hung up... And twenty minutes later somebody named "Parker", who sounded eerily similar to you called from a blocked number asking me out on a date."

"...What gave me away, though?"

"Everything, Sunghoon! You're such an idiot." She rolled her eyes. He couldn't help but to admire her profile as she gazed out the window, arms crossed in a display of dissatisfaction.

"I got these for you." He mumbled into the thick silence, awkwardly thrusting out the expensive bouquet. Her eyes softened just a little at the sight.

They were lilies. Her favorite.

"They're really pretty, Sunghoon. Thank you." Sunghoon swore he felt a bolt of lightning shoot through him when she reached for the flowers, and her fingers brushed against his.

"So.... who saw this coming?"

"Not me." She answered quickly.

"Yeah, I never would've guessed we had anything in common. But apparently, we're 97% compatible. I don't even really believe it, to be honest." Sunghoon shrugged.

"I know. How could I have anything in common with a pretentious prick like you?" Even as she was spewing such a mean insult, her long nails were still softly caressing the flowers that Sunghoon had brought her.

"I'm pretentious? Fuck you. There's no way I could've matched so high with such a spoiled little princess." He scoffed.

So much for being civil.

"Shut up, Sunghoon. I don't even know why I'm here. Why either one of us is here. We both know we hate each other, and despite whatever stupid score we got, the two of us would never work out. So I'd appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut for the next five minutes so I can finish this glass of wine in peace and leave." She tucked a long dark stand of hair behind her ear, revealing an adorable tiny tattoo shaped like a miniscule ice skate.

"Do you skate?" Sunghoon blurted.

"What?"

"I- your tattoo. It's an ice skate." He pointed to her ear.

"Oh. Yeah, I used to, when I was a teenager. Why?"

"I used to skate when I was a teenager, too. I was pretty good."

"Good for you.... Didn't I tell you to stop talking to me?" She sassed, a perfectly arched brow raising.

"Listen. Outside of work, I don't take orders from you, sweetheart. Besides... we both know you'd prefer to be the one getting bossed around." The sight of her flustering made the entire night worth it in Sunghoon's eyes. She bit her lip, holding in her retort much to Sunghoon's delight.

"Did you think I forgot about that little part? You're my almost perfect match in every way, aren't you? So if I had to guess... I'd say you're probably a bad little brat who enjoys getting put in her place, huh? A submissive little doll that wants to be treated rough, spanked and edged, and overstimulated. I bet it burns you up knowing that I can give you exactly what you need, doesn't it?" Now that he had figured out how to unnerve her, he'd never quit.

Sunghoon didn't miss the way the pupils in her big eyes dilated, the way her chest was beginning to heave with deeper breaths. She wasn't loving the way his eyes darkened as he stood up, circling her chair as he looked at her. Like she was prey and he was the predator. He came to a halt behind her, teasingly leaning down into her space, his arms firm against the table on either side of her, caging her in from behind.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that." She warned, shakily. Sunghoon was having too much fun, finally gaining the upper hand over her.

"Or what? What're you gonna do, little girl? Hmm?" Her dilated eyes went glossy at the nickname.

"What's wrong, pretty? Are you embarrassed that I know your dirty little secrets? Poor spoiled brat. I wonder what your granddad would think if he knew. If he knew his precious granddaughter was actually a perverted slut that gets off on being used and degraded." His right hand boldly gripped her jaw, turning her head towards him fast enough to make her choke on a gasp.

"Sunghoon-"

"Daddy. You can call me 'Daddy', baby."

"Who's the perv now?" Sunghoon was more than attracted to that spark of defiance in her eyes.

"You're just as bad. You get off on torturing pretty girls and making them call you 'Daddy'. You want me to fight back. To act up. So you can discipline me, degrade me, dominate me, because it makes your puny little dick hard, you pathetic loser." His response was a chuckle.

"You really are my perfect match."

Sunghoon threw a ₩50000 note on the table to cover the cost of her single glass of wine before gripping her hand tightly in his.

"Let's go."

"Let's go where? We're not fucking, Sunghoon."

"Stop acting like a snobby bitch. I know you want it. Your pathetic little cunt is probably leaking out past your panties for me. So be a good girl and come the fuck on."

"No." Even though her tone sounded resolute, her eyes were begging him to take control.

So he did.

He swiftly grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her body into his chest. The squeal she let out ended up getting swallowed between their lips as Sunghoon gently brought them together. With her pressed so close to him, he could feel her heart racing with excitement at the feeling of his warm tongue slowly lapping at her bottom lip. She melted into him, plump lips separating to feel his wet tongue roll sensually over hers. He fucked her pretty glossy lips with his tongue, thrusting it into the recesses of her throat and listening to her breath hitch in ecstasy. He pulled away slowly, teasingly brushing his lips against hers again and again until she was whining.

"If you're a good girl, I'll give you more kisses. On your pretty lips... your pretty tits... and your pretty pussy. You want that, don't you, Doll?

"Maybe......" She confessed in a tiny voice.

"Come on, sweetheart. Admit it. You want to fuck me. Don't you?"

"You can kiss my ass, Sunghoon."

"...Get in the car, you fucking brat."

She didn't put up too much more of a fight as he dragged her out the door and into the back of the black escalade waiting for them.

"Where to sir?" His driver asked politely, and Sunghoon felt a grinch like grin take over his face as she gave him her address.

"I don't know what you're smiling for, Sunghoon. I gave him my address so I could go home. Alone." She just couldn't help bursting his bubble.

Gripping her by the back of her neck was slowly becoming Sunghoon's favorite thing, a desperate whimper escaping her as he pulled her into yet another searing kiss. The back of the van filled with the sounds of their lips smacking together and swapping spit. Sunghoon took hold of her hand and placed it on his straining bulge, eyes falling shut in pleasure. She immediately responded, gripping and stroking his length in a way that had his head falling back on his shoulders. His eyes shot back open at the feeling of her taking her hand away.

"Did I say you could stop?"

"No, but I- the partition. I was just going to close the window so your driver can't see or hear you moaning like a bitch anymore." She whispered.

"Leave the partition open. I want him to listen to you slut your pretty little throat out for me in the back of his car like the dirty fucking whore that you are." If she wasn't leaking out all over the place before, she certainly was now.

"Or maybe I should let him hear you cum all over my fingers. Let him hear your pretty moans for me, hmm?" He whispered in her ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down her spine.

"Are you dense? I told you already. We aren't fucking." The breathless lilt in her voice was giving her away.

"We'll see, brat. Clearly, you need some dick. Maybe you'll be less of a bitch after a good fuck."

She didn't trust herself to respond, instead crossing her arms and scooting as far away from him as she could get. Sunghoon was having none of it, not only scooting closer to her but gripping a thick thigh in his big hand as well. She tried to keep her gaze cast toward the window, attempting to appear unfazed. But as his hand slowly reached closer and closer to her heat, she finally broke, her fiery irises meeting his own. She tried to stop his wrist from inching up any higher, clamping her thighs together stubbornly.

"Don't."

"What's the matter, baby? Don't want me to feel how wet I'm making you?"

"I swear, if you touch me...." Her pulse was racing in excitement, her body all worked up over just a few simple touches.

"What?" He challenged. "You mean if I do this?"

He pried her thighs open with his left hand, his right making its way up to feel the wet heat radiating from her core. Sunghoon felt his pride swell ten fold at the feeling of her sopping wet panties.

He also felt her tiny palm swiftly connect with the side of his face. He gasped softly, eyes closing as the warmth from her smacking him lit a fire inside of him. The heat causing his length to begin to gently throb, an ache forming in the pit of his stomach. His lust heavy lids opened just enough for her to see the desire swirling in them.

"You're in a shitload of trouble now, brat."

She hated him. She hated him. So why couldn't she remember ever feeling this excited before in her entire life? Her thoughts were interrupted by the driver alerting them of their arrival.

Sunghoon was outside of the car, opening her door before she had a chance to blink. She took the hand he offered her, thanking the driver as she stepped out gracefully. She started towards the big iron front doors of her enormous house, glancing over her shoulder at Sunghoon.

"I felt how wet you were in the car. You plan on taking care of that all by your lonesome?" He called out to her in a soft voice. He could see her hesitate just a bit, her keys shaking as she turned them in the lock.

"I know how you feel about me. How we feel about each other. But you need me right now. Let me make you feel good, baby?"

He didn't wait for her response, boldly letting his driver know that he could leave. He stood, watching as she crossed the threshold of those giant doors, leaving them open behind her. Sunghoon didn't need any more of an invitation, jogging up the front steps and entering her dark foyer. By the time he had shut the door behind him, she was gone, leaving him to take in the breathtaking sight of her house alone. She really was a spoiled little brat living in luxury.

"Brat? Where'd you go, darling?" He could hear a muffled giggle from somewhere in the house.

"Oh? Are we playing a game? Come out, come out wherever you are...." He grinned in amusement, flipping on a light here and there to aid in his search.

"In here," She answered. Sunghoon found her in the kitchen, stirring up a drink in her hand.

"Somaek. For you." His favorite. How did she know? As he sipped his drink, he couldn't help but notice how much shorter she was without those insane heels she was always wearing.

"You're short as hell."

"Shut up. I'm not short. You're just freakishly tall."

"No," Just to piss her off, he rested his elbow on the top of her head casually. "You're definitely short." She swatted his arm away with a huff.

"I don't think I've ever seen you without those ridiculous heels on. It's kind of cute how tiny you are. I could pick you up and manhandle you any way I want to. Like this." His big hands encompassed her waist, easily lifting her up to sit on top of her massive island. He kept his grip around her waist as he leaned into her ear.

"Or I could bend you over the counter and fuck you dumb if I wanted to. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He kissed her ear gently, lips journeying down to place soft kisses into the crook of her neck.

"I don't th-think so." He pulled back to look her deep in her eyes.

"Oh, Honey. I know so."

He took his time connecting their lips this time, teasing her with soft pecks until she was squirming against the counter, his button down balled up in her fists. He relented when he felt her legs wrap around his waist impatiently, pulling him in as close as he could get. With her legs around his waist, his cock settled right against her core, the short skirt of her dress riding up to reveal a sticky dark stain on her panties. He began gently grinding into her wetness, nipping her lip as she started to grind back against him.

"Sunghoon." She sighed, a squeak escaping her lips as he dug his slender fingers into her waist.

"What's my name?" He warned.

"Park Sunghoon." She tittered defiantly.

"You'll learn, baby. Even if it takes me all night to teach you. You'll learn....." He yanked her off of the counter, pushing her to her knees on the cold marble floor. She watched with doe eyes as he unbuckled his belt, tossing it aside before unbuttoning and unzipping his slacks.

"That my name...." He pushed his slacks and boxers down just enough for his hard length to spring free. He was big. Much bigger than she had been expecting. Long and fat, with three juicy veins bulging enticingly. His pink tip was already coated in precum, leaking profusely in anticipation. At the sight of his dick, her mouth began to water, mind hyperfixating on the need to feel and taste him in her mouth.

"... is Daddy."

He gave her no time to mentally prepare herself, gripping a handful of her thick locks in one hand as the other held her jaw open. He felt warm breath hit the tip of his dick before her full lips were closing around his head and suckling slowly. He let out a hot, drawn out moan at the feeling, fucking his thick head in and out of her lips. She hummed back in approval, the vibration sending a harsh shiver down his spine. He used his grip on her hair to pull her deeper onto his cock, panting as she made it almost halfway before gagging harshly.

"Gagging already? I'm not even halfway in yet. What was it you said back at the restaurant? Something about me having a puny dick? Does it still feel puny now?" He teased, pushing just far enough to make her gag again. She gurbled around his length, making him laugh menacingly.

"Didn't your parent ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?"

She gagged again as he thrust just a little too deep down her throat, tears filling her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. He pinched her nose shut, pushing in as deep as she'd let him, only letting her breathe when he saw her eyes start to roll back a bit.

"Look at you. You put up such a fight, but now you're gagging and sucking my dick like a whore. You've probably been soaking your panties since the day we met, dreaming about this."

Sunghoon was quite taken with the sight in front of him. Her mascara left streaks of black running down her face, her lips slick with spit and precum.

"I want you to suck me in as deep as you can. Wanna feel how good your throat game is."

She held on to his hips, head nuzzling closer to him as she took his length down her throat. When the warm tip of her nose met his groin, she swallowed, making his eyes nearly cross at the feeling of her contracting around his length.

"Good girl." He moaned, unable to stop himself from rutting into her face. He could feel the drag of her uvula over the rim of his dick, causing him to shudder. His head fell back onto his shoulders, hips picking up speed as he fucked her face. She continued to gag harshly around him, pulling off of his length as she coughed and gasped for air.

"Still think my dick is puny?" He taunted, looking down his nose at her as she attempted a normal breathing pattern. She felt herself growing impossibly wetter as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it aside and allowing her to ogle at his defined abs and pecs.

"Teeny tiny. Itty bitty dick." She rasped, voice hoarse from his girthy length pulverizing her throat.

"If it's so tiny, then come deep throat me again."

She obliged, completely unprepared for the way Sunghoon trapped her head between the counter and his hips, pistoning away into her mouth. She sputtered around his length, attempting to suck and swallow in rhythm with his thrusting. She was already embarrassed at the mess of wetness that he was going to discover between her thighs, her slickness dripping more profusely at the sound of his grunts and moans.

"Are you gonna be a good brat for me? And swallow up every drop of cum I give you? Hmm?" He grunted.

She nodded, the feeling of her head bobbing up and down, making his balls tighten with the need to cum.

"You want it? I'll give it to you if you want it in your mouth, baby. Give you this big fucking load right down your nasty slut throat. Fill your tummy with my nut." His voice cracked and slurred, clearly on the cusp of orgasm.

"Mhmmmm." She moaned, the vibration of her voice combined with the wet spongey texture of the back of her throat sending him over the edge.

He tugged her forward a final time, a gruff cry escaping him as he painted the inside of her mouth white with his cum. She could feel every pulse, every ache, every throb as he spilled in her mouth, shaking from his climax. She took every last drop just as he had asked of her, enjoying the feeling of his warm, gooey cum filling every available nook and cranny in her mouth. He pulled her off of his length with a pop, tugging her to her feet as he tried to come down from his high.

"Bed-bedroom?" He stuttered, still dazed. She grasped his hand, leading him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to what he presumed was her room. It was over the top, dramatic and expensive and definitely her.

"Turn around." She turned, holding her hair up as he slid the zipper to her dress down slowly. It hit the ground with a soft thud, the material pooling around her ankles. He was pleasantly surprised to see she was wearing only a skimpy pair of panties. His lips connected with the crook of her neck once again, his rough hands coming around her body to squeeze and kneed at her tits. He pinched at her sensitive nipples, grinning at the helpless little yelp she let out. He walked her forward towards the bed, never once disconnecting his lips from her neck as he viciously tore her panties.

"Hey! Those were expensive, dickwad!" The room rang with the sound of his palm meeting her ass.

"Dickwad? Is that what you're supposed to call me?" Her brain turned into mush as his hand crept around her front and rubbed over the folds of her cunt. She leaned her head back on his shoulder, straining to meet his eyes. His dim, lusty eyes stoked the fire blazing in the pit of her stomach.

"N-no?"

"What are you supposed to call me, brat?" His fingers dipped between her folds, rolling lightly over her clit.

"Daddy." She moaned, attempting to rock her hips into his palm.

"That's right, little girl. Daddy. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I fucking h-hate you."

Maybe Sunghoon should've gone to seek psychiatric help instead of romantic help. Because surely there was something wrong with his brain for finding her disdain for him so sexy.

"You hate me?" Every hair on her body was standing at attention at the noticeably deeper octave in his voice. He pushed her onto the bed roughly, drinking in the sight of her splayed across the sheets, his for the taking. He pushed her legs wide open, eyes locked with hers as her warm thighs emanated a soothing warmth to the sides of his face.

"You let me in your house, though. You got on your knees and let me fuck your pretty little face. You swallowed every drop of my cum like a dick drunk whore. You hate me.... but your little pussy is so wet for me. Tell me how you hate me again, brat."

"I-fuck!" Her sentence was cut off at the feeling of Sunghoon's pretty lips ghosting over clit.

"Go on. I'm listening." He taunted, waiting for her to speak.

"I hate-shit!" He lightly sucked her swollen bud into his mouth, milking it between his pink lips. She squirmed beneath him, shivering as he sucked deeper against her clit before letting go with an audacious pop. The eye contact was beginning to be to intense for her, her lids falling shut as he lapped at the wetness spilling from her.

"So fucking wet. Is this all because of me? I knew you wanted me." He laughed quietly.

"It's not funny, you a-asshole! You're ma-making me so fucking s-sensitive." She moaned, breath catching in her throat as he began kissing all over her quivering bud.

"Damn. For such a bitter woman, your pussy tastes so fucking sweet."

"Shut. The fuck. Up." She gasped, hips stuttering beneath his face.

"I don't think I will. You're so fucking pretty, all wet and sensitive and needy for me. I can't wait to fuck you, brat. Can't wait to feel your pretty little cunt milking my dick."

She was slowly becoming wetter and wetter from the sight in front of her. Of Sunghoon grinding his stiffening dick into her silk sheets, rough hands gripping her waist. His face buried between her thighs, brows creased in concentration as he tongued at the hood of her clit. Sharp eyes, switching between watching her every move and fluttering shut in appreciation of the sweet taste on his tongue. She whimpered as she tentatively ran her fingers through his locks, gripping his roots in a tight fist. The feeling of her fingers in his hair caused him to look up, a moan escaping his throat at her hardened nipples and tiny cries.

"That feels so fucking good." She breathed, her thighs tremoring in anticipation. Her jaw dropped in disbelief as Sunghoon's smirking face dipped even lower, sloppily licking over her tight asshole.

"Sunghoon!" She gasped in shock.

"I'm not buying your little prude act, sweetheart. Not when you're dripping all over the place. Feel good?" She covered her face and nodded shyly, and Sunghoon thought he could've died from how cute the sight was.

"I like playing with your cute little asshole, baby. Maybe one day you'll let me fuck it?" He goaded.

"Your ti-tiny dick wouldn't last thirty se-seconds in my ass." She moaned.

"Weren't you just choking and gagging a minute ago?"

He doubled down in his efforts, sucking harshly against her clit, eager to be inside of her. The sound of her loud cries and ragged, breathless whining was music to his ears. She was babbling out nonsense, empty minded as she unconciously locked her legs around his head, rutting desperately into his mouth.

"Close! Wanna cum so bad. Please, please, please?" She begged, back arching deeply off the bed as her body began to shake.

"Cum in Daddy's mouth, slut."

She hummed a satisfied moan before flooding his mouth with her juices. He watched her from below, dick getting impossibly harder as her eyes went hazy with pleasure, plump lips separating to release the prettiest cries he had ever heard. She tugged the hell out of his roots, forcing his tongue against her clit as she shamelessly ground her wet slit into his mouth. He took it all in stride, sucking and licking wherever he could as she slowly came back down. She pushed his head away with a whine as he kept kissing all over her sensitive clit. He crawled up her body, leaving blooming hickeys here and there as she attempted to catch her breath. When he reached her lips, she was surprised at the tenderness he kissed her with, her stomach erupting in butterflies.

"Was it good, baby?" He mumbled against her lips.

"So good, Daddy." She sighed back, wrapping her short legs around his waist. He groaned at the feeling of his dick nuzzling through her wetness, her sticky lips coating his shaft in her cum. He buried his head into the crook of her neck, low whines escaping him as he began grinding into her slit.

"Fuck. 'M gonna fuck you so good. Have this pretty pussy gushing for me all night long." He whispered, nipping roughly at her ear.

"You're all talk." She just didn't know when to quit.

"Yeah? Let's see if I'm all talk, or if you spend the rest of tonight screaming and cumming on my dick." She felt him reach down, lining his tip up with her still sensitive entrance. He pulled back to look into her eyes, beyond pleased to see the same urgency reflecting back.

He pushed his wide head against the tight hole of her entrance, a choked whimper getting caught in his throat as his tip stretched her little opening. Her brows furrowed, lips falling open in a loud whine as his head sunk in, already feeling full and close and too fucking good. Sunghoon's low chuckle filled the room as her eyes rolled back in her head, and her cunt locked tight around his tip. She jerked beneath him, cumming at just the feeling of his head sinking into her.

"Cumming already? I knew you needed some dick. What a fucking slut." He plunged deeper, despite her quivering walls, getting just about halfway in when she came to.

"Fuck, wait! Wait! Feels too fucking good!" She squealed, pushing at his chest.

He ignored her senseless begging, pushing the rest of his length in to the hilt, causing tears of pleasurable overstimulation to spring to her eyes.

"Oh.......fuck." Her lust drunken eyes lazily connected with his intense gaze, and for a minute, Sunghoon thought he was falling in love.

"You ok, pretty?" At some point, she had broken out into a sweat, her once straight locks starting to turn back into coils.

"Big." She whimpered.

"Big? I thought you said my dick was tiny." He grinned meanly.

"So. Big." He gave a tiny thrust at that, reeling at how tight she was gripping him.

"Shit. Try to relax, brat. You're gripping me so fucking tight."

"I'm, I....s-sorry, Daddy." She stuttered, gripping his shoulder in her little hands.

"It's OK, babydoll. Just relax."

She did her best to do just that. But the way he was looking at her, the feeling of his hard dick inside of her was making her cunt cream and quiver and tighten in arousal. Sunghoon could feel it all, and he was becoming so impatient. He leaned down to kiss her lightly, resting his lips against hers as he rocked into her heat. And once he started, he found it so addicting that he couldn't stop, his own brain growing foggy as sticky slaps echoed around in her room. He could hear the wet puddle of her cunt squelching and oozing against his groin, could feel her slick making a mess all over him, wetness dripping down his balls. It was all making him feel so dirty.

"Fuck," He grunted. "Wet. So fucking wet."

Her nails were digging into his back now, engraving him with long welps and scratches that only aided in his arousal. She was well and truly dick drunk, tears rolling down her face as he fucked her. She panted hotly, allowing Sunghoon to spit into her open mouth. She swallowed his spit with a moan before opening her mouth and begging for more.

97% Compatible, Sunghoon's ass.

Sunghoon didn't think she could possibly get any more perfect for him if she tried.

"You're pussy is so fucking tight and wet. I thought you hated me, brat. Why's your cunt so wet if you hate me, baby?"

"Stop.....t-teasing!" She cried, tears of arousal and humiliation springing to her eyes.

He was antagonizing her. Teasing and bullying her in a way that shouldn't have made her feel like she was going to cum again, her walls strangling his length in preparation. Sunghoon wasn't dumb. He could feel the way she gushed and tightened around him as he teased her, a depraved grin spreading across his face.

"Are you gonna fucking cum again, brat? Go ahead, slut. I know you want to. Be my good little brat, and let me feel this tight little pussy cream all over my dick."

She covered her face shyly again, in direct contradiction to the way her hips were bucking in ecstasy. Sunghoon brought his thumb down to rub harsh circles into her aching clit, moaning at the feeling of her going over the edge. She bit her lip in an attempt to suppress a cry as she came again on his dick. Sunghoon watched her tight little cunt quiver around his dick, a creamy white ring of her juices dripping from the base of his cock. He thrusted shallowly, just enough to work her through her orgasm.

"Good girl."

"Fuck...off."

"You should be thanking me right now. For putting up with your bratty ass and giving you exactly what you need. You've probably never been fucked this good." He laughed cockily.

"You should be thanking me. Your goofy ass couldn't even talk to another woman. You're lucky I'm fucking you."

"Whatever." He scoffed, knowing she was right. The victorious smirk on her face pissed him off, though. It made him pull out of her heat, flipping her over to rest on her stomach. He stuffed a pillow beneath her hips, straddling her thighs from behind.

"You know what, brat? You're gonna learn some fucking manners today. When I tell you to say thank you, you say fucking thank you. I was gonna go easy on you tonight. But that bad ass mouth got you in trouble."

"What're you gonna do, Daddy? Spank me?" She asked sarcastically.

She was somehow still taken off guard when he did just that. He watched in a love stricken trance as her fat little ass jiggled and rippled under the force of his palm.

"Behave."

He spread the soft cheeks of her ass open, grinning as she hid her face in the sheets in embarrassment. Without much warning, he was sliding back into her tight hole, picking up a rather brutal pace. Because of the pillow he had stuffed beneath her hips, he was fucking into her at the perfect angle to decimate her g-spot. She was immediately seeing stars, biting into the sheets beneath her.

"Sung...Sunghoon! Fuck!"

"Yeah? Am I hitting my brat's special spot?"

"Fuck, yes!"

"You like that, pretty? That shit feels so fucking good, doesn't it?"

"Yes! Please! Daddy! Feels s'fucking good!" She was drooling into the sheets below her, the rhythmic sound of Sunghoon's hips meeting her ass filling the room.

"I know it does, baby. Can my good girl say thank you now?"

"Thank you!" She squealed, unwilling to risk him stopping.

"That's all you had to do from the start, Princess." She ignored him in favor of focusing on the way his head was crushing her g-spot. The feeling was foreign to her, and the sudden realization of needing to pee startled her.

"Sunghooooon. S...top. I have t-to-"

"Stop? Why would I stop when you're seconds away from squirting?" Even as he was speaking, he slowed his pace down to a crawl, fucking into her with harsh, slow thrusts.

"Please," She whimpered, turning her head so that she could see his eyes. The sight of her red, watery orbs, disheveled locks, and spit slick lips was making his heart palpitate. "Help me, Daddy."

"Oh, now you need Daddy's help?" He asked condescendingly. "Weren't you just telling me to fuck off?"

"Please," She begged. "Please, Daddy?" She didn't even know what she was begging for.

But Sunghoon seemed to understand perfectly, getting a firm hold of her hips as he increased his pace. It was once again all too much for her. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as she gushed and squirted all over her sheets. She shook and trembled and gasped, her thighs wet from her orgasm. She was thankful when his harsh thrusts slowed to a halt, allowing her to regain her barings. And as good as it felt, she almost wished it didn't happen as Sunghoon's big head inflated even more.

"I bet no one else has ever made you feel this good. I bet I'm the only man to ever make you squirt and drool and scream like that. Aren't I?" She wished she could smack the stupid smug look off of his face.

"How have you not cum yet?" He let her flip over onto her back beneath him, dragging him down to rest his body on top of hers.

"I have amazing stamina." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Obviously. I definitely didn't think you'd be able to last this long without succumbing to the awesome power of my pussy." The feeling of him laughing against her lips made her feel warm inside.

"Trust me, brat. I'm not going to be able to resist too much longer."

She hummed back in response, tangling her hands in his hair and kissing him passionately. If you asked Sunghoon, he'd never admit it, but the feeling of her tugging gently at his roots, her tongue sensually massaging his own, was making him feel weak in the knees. She reach between them, taking his still wet cock in her hand and jerking it slowly. She felt his smooth lips weaken against hers, his body turning into putty as she stroked him.

"Fuck." He hissed.

"You like that, Hoon?" His tip twitch against her fingers at the nickname.

"Mhmm." He moaned, head rolling back as he lazily rutted into her hands.

"Fuck, baby. Your little hands feel so good stroking my cock." He grunted.

"Mmm. I bet you've been dreaming of this. Arguing with me during the day and touching yourself at night while you think about me. It's kind of pathetic, honestly."

"Shut the fuck up." He gasped.

"You know, all night, you've been teasing me about wanting you. But I know you want me just as bad, don't you? You say you hate me too, but you've been dying to cum inside of me, haven't you?" His eyes rolled as she gripped him a little tighter, stroked him a little faster.

"Yes! Fuck!"

"Then do it, Sunghoon."

He didn't waste another second, hooking her thick thighs over his shoulders and bottoming out in a single thrust. He was shivering, shaking in anticipation as he clumsily fucked her.

"Fuck, so good." He sighed, turning his head to leave hickeys all over her thighs.

"Pussy is so fucking good, Dollface. So fucking good. Just for me, huh? So fucking good, I want to keep it all for myself, baby." He kissed her hungrily, hips picking up speed.

He gently caressed the side of her face, holding her jaw as he stared into her eyes with just a bit too much adoration.

"You want me all for yourself? What are you in love or something? You're so obsessed with me." She scoffed, feigning disgust.

"I should've fucking gagged you."

Her giggle was turning into his favorite sound. Especially when it turned into a whimper, her tiny fingers grasping his wrist. He watched through clouded eyes as she turned her head to kiss the palm that was caressing her face, her lips puckering against all five fingertips. She leaned her cheek back into his palm with a sigh, locking eyes with him again. She stared into his glassy, shiny brown orbs, entranced by the thick mist of lust reflecting back at her.

"Your eyes are so fucking pretty, Sunghoon." He gasped at the unexpected compliment.

"Pretty?"

"Mhmm. So pretty when you look at me like that. I think I can cum again, looking into those pretty eyes. All fucked out and dazed." Sunghoon felt a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"Are you blushing? After everything we've said and done, you're blushing because I said you have pretty eyes?"

"I really should've gagged you."

Sunghoon decided he was done talking. His balls were absolutely aching in need, his dick twitching with desire. He pushed her knees against her chest, swearing loudly at how much tighter she felt like this. She seemed to share his same sentiment, crying out at the change in position.

"Keep fucking me just like that, Hoon. I'm close again."

"Again? Your dick starved little cunt is so fucking greedy. How many times have you cum for me tonight, slut?"

"It's not my fault! It's your stupid p-perfect dick."

"Well I'm gonna make you cum again all over this perfect dick, brat." He wiggled a hand between her clenched thighs to toy with her clit. At the feeling of his long fingers slipping through her slick and sliding against her clit, pinching and flicking it she felt her umpteenth climax of the night approach.

"I think...'m gonna cum...agai-." She was practically drooling and milking his dick for all it was worth before she could finish her sentence.

If the sight of her trembling in his arms wasn't enough for him, the feeling of her pussy sucking and swallowing him was more than enough to finish him off.

He groaned, attempting to warn her. To let her know he was cumming. To ask if it was still okay for him to cum inside. But the part of his brain that was responsible for speaking had clearly been shut off, a series of grunts and whines into her ear replacing his words. In fact, most of his thoughts had been reduced to nothing, the need to cum taking over completely.

Sunghoon felt so hot. So overwhelmingly hot. And so fucking close. What had started as a warm glow in the pit of his stomach had turned into a raging fire, threatening to consume every inch of him. He was dizzy, lightheaded with pleasure as he rutted shakily into her.

"Fuck, making me feel so good. Pussy is making me feel....so fucking good." He whispered airily. He smashed his lips against hers in a sloppy kiss, pulling back only to watch the string of their combined saliva drip between their lips.

The room was slightly spinning, his weak arms collapsing to rest on his elbows as he neared his demise. She was so fucking pretty, totally destroyed by him. At some point in the night her mascara had created streaks of black down her face, her lips slick with his spit. Her hair was a wild mess of dark curls and coils, her neatly straightened locks a distant memory.

"P...pretty." He slurred.

There was a woozy feeling bubbling in his stomach, an orgasm so strong he was almost unsure whether he was ready or not to experience it. That woozy feeling grew in his stomach, more and more, until he could feel himself right there on the edge. He hung there in a pleasurable limbo, stretching it out as long as he could stand. A drunken whimper filled the air as he felt himself slowly tip over.

His orgasm wrecked him.

For all of the teasing and taunting he had done throughout the night, antagonizing her for falling apart on his dick, it came back at him tenfold. His eyes rolled back in his head, toes curling as a helpless scream reverberated off of the walls. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't force his hips to fuck through it, pitiful sobs escaping him as his swollen head twitched and began to spew into her warm wet cavern. He moaned, and cried, and screamed her name, his pretty fucked out face contorting in bliss. She showed no mercy, clenching harshly around him and laughing evilly at his bliss filled state.

"Who's screaming now, Sunghoon?"

"Oh!....... Shit!" He dazed breathlessly.

He was rendered almost completely speechless, shuddering in her hold. He knew somewhere in his subconscious that she was teasing him, but the euphoria he felt as his dick continued to pulsate and twitch and pump her full stopped him from caring. He was filled with tremors, his big frame shuddering pathetically as he fell limp on top of her. Sunghoon moaned weakly as his cock let out a final few weak spurts inside of her.

"Fuck....I....fuck, I can't feel my legs." He panted, eliciting a full bodied laugh from the woman lying beneath him. She tugged at his hair until his head was sitting up enough so she could kiss him. She felt him twitch inside of her when she nipped at his bottom lips.

"Was it good, Daddy?"

"Too fucking good, Dollface. I'm afraid I might just have to keep your annoying ass."

"You'll have to keep me? You'll be lucky if I ever go out with you again. We hate each other, Sunghoon."

And for some reason, when she said it this time, it felt different. It made him uneasy. But he pushed it down in favor of cuddling into her warm, bare chest and drifting to sleep.

As time went on, however, it only got harder for him to keep pushing that uneasiness down. Despite what she had said, they had become nearly inseparable since that night. She had quickly become Sunghoon's favorite person, whether she wanted to admit it or not. He played it casual whenever he was with her, but everyone; his friends, his family, hell, even his boss knew.

Sunghoon was totally smitten.

They could see it in his love struck, puppy eyes whenever he mentioned her. In the way he'd put so much time and effort into getting himself ready to go see her. In the way he'd purchase little gifts for her, expensive little gifts, just to see a smile on her pretty face.

Soon, Sunghoon could no longer go more than a day or two without basking in her presence. Some times they were engaging in some light banter, arguing over something ridiculous, resulting in them fucking on the nearest surface. And other nights they spent in a comfortable silence as flakes of snow littered the outside world, his head in her lap as she stroked her fingers through his overgrown bangs, lulling him to sleep.

Sunghoon was more than smitten.

But she, on the other hand, was much more reserved. Whenever he'd get a bit too close, his eyes just a bit too starry, his touch a bit too possessive, she'd shut down. Sunghoon had no clue why or if he had done something wrong. It all came to a head when he'd been rushing to get over to her house and had mistakenly grabbed a gold chain that belonged to Jake instead of his own. It wouldn't have been a problem, had the necklace not been engraved with the name of Jake's girlfriend.

She was kissing on Sunghoon's neck, his large hands rubbing on her thigh when he felt her suddenly freeze.

"Who the fuck is this?" She spit venomously, tugging at the chain around his neck.

"Huh?" He asked dumbly.

"You're in my fucking house, letting me kiss all over you with another girl's name around your neck?" She pushed him away, storming into the kitchen, attempting to put as much distance between them as possible. It was only when Sunghoon glanced down and read the tag around his neck that he understood.

"Wait, let me explain, baby-"

"Don't you fucking baby me! Actually, just forget it. We're not together, so you don't owe me any kind of loyalty. I think you should leave now."

"What? No, I'm not leaving. Just calm down, Doll. Let me explain."

"I really don't even want to hear it, to be honest."

"There's no one else, Pretty. This necklace isn't even mine, I was rushing out of the house so I could come see you, and I must have grabbed it by mistake."

"You're telling me this for what reason?" She stubbornly crossed her arms.

"Because you're upset. Or surprised maybe at the thought of me being capable of talking to a girl that isn't you." He took the stupid necklace off, chucking it irritably onto the counter.

"I think it'd be more surprising that you actually found someone that can stand being in the same room as you for more than thirty seconds."

Sunghoon lowered his head, nipping lightly at his bottom lip.

"Uncalled for."

"Sorry."

"Why do you get so testy at the thought of me with another woman, huh?" He already knew the answer, but he'd grown tired of chasing after her with little to no results.

"I don't. I have no clue what you're talking about." He followed her as she hastily left the room once again.

"You most certainly do. Why do you get so jealous and upset when you know.....I'm your's. We may not officially be together. But l'm your's, baby. You know that already."

"You are not mine."

"I am."

"Sunghoon, we hate each oth-"

"No, we don't! We don't hate each other. At all. We haven't for the last six months. For the last six months that we've spent in each other's beds, meeting each other's family, practically living together. We haven't hated each other for a long time, sweetheart. So what's your next excuse?"

"We can't just go from hating each other to...not hating each other just like that. It doesn't work like that in real life, Sunghoon."

"It did for us."

"Just forget it. Whether she's your girlfriend or not really doesn't have anything to do with me."

"How could you say that?! When you know how I feel about you. How you feel about me! You can't continue to just bury your head in the sand and ignore the fact that we've fallen in love." The pain in his eyes was tearing her apart.

"Don't say that!"

"Why?!"

"Because l'm scared!"

A heavy silenced hung in the room for what seemed like hours before she broke it.

"I'm scared, Sunghoon. What if this doesn't work and I lose the guy that I care so much about and my best friend all at the same time?"

"It's okay to be afraid. But ignoring what's happening between us is not going to help. It won't be perfect all of the time. We're gonna get mad at each other. Argue, just like we're doing right now. I'll probably make you want to tear your hair out sometimes. But I promise you, l'm gonna love you through every single second of it. You'll never lose me. Ever. But you have to start by trusting me, love. Do you think you can do that? Am I worth the risk to you?" She was nodding her head before he could finish speaking, burying her teary eyes in his chest.

"I love you." It was the first time she had heard the words from him, and it only made her cry harder.

"I love you, too," She sniffled. He wiped her eyes lovingly, shaking his head as more tears replaced the ones he wiped away.

"You're such a crybaby." He kissed the top of her head, rocking her back and forth as she whined in embarrassment.

"I'm not a crybaby." She sniffed, looking up at him with watery red eyes.

"You are. But that's ok. You're my crybaby."

As he tucked her head back into his chest, he silently thanked the matchmaker for setting them up. Even though she was a brat. And annoying. And she got on his nerves sometimes. But he really, really did love her. He could see his future with her. Marriage with her. Babies with her.

His 97% 100% match.

A/N: girl. No this is not edited, and no it's not gon kill you. If you see something....ignore it?

Oh and @baekbeaut (I think it was you) here's your tag 🫶🏾

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champagne coast // ln4

pairing: lando norris X reader

word count: 19k

warnings: cursing and alcohol use

includes: friends to lovers, summer!lando, clueless reader and lando, pining, fluff, and a little angst

summary: when lando and you spend summer break together you don't expect italy to eventually hold such a special place in your heart... or lando and you go on vacation and everyone keeps thinking you're a couple.

playlist for the fic: spotify | apple music

masterlist

─── ༺❀༻ ───

It was the Monday before the Belgium Grand Prix when Lando asked – what are you doing for summer break?

The sun had started to set over the coast, its golden reflection rippling across the water and onto the balcony of Lando’s Monaco apartment. The same balcony that the two of you currently resided on, choosing to share the wicker couch instead of one of you sitting in one of the empty chairs.

You were sat sideways on the couch with your legs crossed, your view consisting more of Lando than the picturesque sunset over the sea. A cheap bottle of pink moscato, which was your favorite, was sitting on the table where Lando had his feet propped up.

He’d always complain about how sweet it was, but then drink more of it than you. In all reality, he’d actually grown to love it because of you, but he’d never tell you that. He’d only been able to find it at one place in Monaco, so when he knew you were coming to visit he always made sure to have a couple bottles on hand and maybe a bottle for himself when he was missing you.

Your eyes met his as you processed his question. This right now was your summer vacation. He surely knew that, right? “Summer break? I don’t have a summer break like you do, Lando.” It was true, you had barely managed to get this week off from work to be able to go to Belgium, let alone have a month off. “I figured me being here for a couple days then going to Belgium would be my vacation.”

A disapproving sigh escapes past his lips as he speaks. “That is not a vacation.”

“Well it sure as hell beats being stuck at an office in London.”

He downed the remainder of the wine in his glass and fully turned his body towards you. His arm resting across the back of the couch, his fingers nearly touching you. “I think you should come with me on vacation.”

You stifle a groan by taking a drink of your wine. “Lando, you know I don’t do Ibiza. It's not my kind of place, especially this time of year.” It was a beautiful place no doubt, but the big party scene was not your favorite. And the couple times you had gone with Lando and your shared friend group it was so chaotic and you had a hangover that lasted for what seemed like a week. So no– Ibiza and you weren’t the best of friends.

“Who said anything about Ibiza?” He’s got a smirk toying at the corners of his lips, you can tell by the way his upper lip twitches slightly. Not that you stare at his lips that much to be able to notice that kind of thing.

“Lando Norris not going to Ibiza during his summer break? Should I alert the press? Did you hit your head? Are you running a fever?” You lean forward to check his temperature, but he playfully swatted away your hand with a giggle before you could get close enough. “Have you broken the news to Fewt-”

That smirk had fully developed across his face as he cut you off. “Who said anything about Max?”

Now you really thought that he’d bumped his head or was slightly tipsy already. You cocked an eyebrow at him in question. “Where are you going then? Especially without Max?”

Lando leaned back, the wicker creaking beneath him, but his eyes were still trained on you. Golden hour had made them even more blue, resembling the crystal blue water that was just a short walk away. “I’m going wherever you want to go.”

“Lando.”

“Y/N.” He’s the one to cock an eyebrow now.

“I can’t go with you.”

His smirk had turned into a pout and he knew how to work those big blue eyes, especially on you. “Why not? Wherever you want to go– we will go. Not many people get that opportunity Y/N.”

You go to take another drink and realize your glass is empty, but before you can reach for the bottle Lando’s already got it in his hands, reaching over slightly to pour you another glass. “Who all is going then if Max isn’t going?”

He sets the bottle back down on the table, hesitating for a moment before speaking. You two are close, probably the closest friend he has compared to Max, but he worries that you won’t be up for what he’s about to suggest. “It would just be me and you.”

You feel your cheeks get hot at his proposal, but you shake it off, blaming it on the wine.

As much as the idea of Lando and you going on a trip together sounds amazing, you just don’t think you can make it work. You live a normal life and being able to just go on lavish trips at the drop of a hat is not something you get to experience, no matter how much Lando wants you to or you would like to.

“I would love to Lan, but I don't think I could get the time off again.” Your finger nervously circles the rim of the wine glass as you contemplate even bringing your other reason up. Mainly because you know what his answer will be, but against your better judgment you take another swig of the wine as liquid courage before telling him the embarrassing truth. “I also just can’t afford it.”

And without skipping a beat he blurts out. “I’ll pay.” You’re immediately shaking your head no, but before you can verbally deny his offer he’s speaking again “Seriously Y/N. I will pay. It’s not a big deal.”

Except him paying your way for this trip is a big deal. Just how it’s a big deal everytime you come and visit him in Monaco and he insists that you don’t spend a dime while you’re here. It’s bad enough that you stay at his place, let alone have him pay for your dinner every night. Or how he is always offering to fly you out to races on your free weekends. Or insisting that the random gifts he gives you don’t cost that much, like you can’t read the designer labels on the boxes or labels.

It makes you feel bad that you can’t offer the same back to him. The constant worry that he might think you are using him for his money makes your stomach hurt because it’s the last thing you’d ever do. He’s one of the most giving and kindest people you know and to be able to call him your best friend is something you treasure. And you truly hope he knows how much you appreciate everything he does for you, but how could he not when you tell him every chance you get.

“Lando, really I cannot let you pay for me to go on vacation. It’s one thing to let me crash at your apartment and for you to get me passes to races, which I appreciate more than you will ever know. But I draw the line at a whole vacation. I don’t want to seem like a freeloader who is using you, that’s honestly the la-”

“Oh my god will you just let me spoil you!” Lando had enough of your endless rambling. Your need to always try and decline his gifts or offerings until he convinces you that you are worthy of them drives him crazy. To Lando there isn’t a person on Earth who deserves everything and more than you. And the fact that he can afford to give you anything you’d ever want tickles him pink. Hell if it was possible, he’d buy you the whole damn universe, even if you hadn’t asked for it.

“I hate that you think– that I would think you’re using me. Never in a million years would I think that. You mean a lot to me Y/N, truly. You’re one the most important people in my life and you deserve everything and more that I give you. If I thought you were using me, I would not be asking you to go on vacation with me, believe me. I love having you around and with us not seeing each other like we used to, I figured a trip with just the two of us would be nice.”

He pauses for a moment as he scoots a little closer to you on the couch, your legs touching as the glow from the sun envelopes around you two. “Now please don’t try and worm your way out of this trip. I’ve missed you so much and if you don’t end up going I think you’re just gonna have to move in with me.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, but try not to let his heartfelt words get to your head. “How would I even get the time off work again? Tell them ‘Oh my famous F1 driver best friend wants to take me on a trip. Can I please have some more time off?’ I don’t think that would work.”

“Well I think it would work. Especially if you add in that I’m super hot.”

The giggles that come from you lets you know that you’ve drank your fair share of wine for the evening. “Oh I don’t think they would ever tell me no If I added that in.”

“If they do say no then just quit and I’ll get you a job somehow with McLaren or Quadrant or something. I just really want to go on this trip with you.”

You aren’t sure if it's the wine in your system or the fact that you want nothing more right now than to spend a week with Lando in some beautiful country, without a care in the world. But you ignore every responsible and logical part of you and tell him what he wants to hear.

“Alright. So where are we going then?”

His eyes light up and the smile that spreads across his face is comparable to that first win smile. “That’s all up to you baby.”

Both of your hearts skip a beat at the term of endearment that came from him. His because he can’t believe he let it slip and yours because you can’t believe he called you that so easily. But you both ignore it and you focus on the one place you’d had on your mind since he mentioned taking a trip.

“Italy?” You suggest with a hopeful smile on your face.

He fills up his glass with the last of the fruit juice like wine and holds it up towards you, your glasses clinking together in a toast. “Italy it is then.”

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Six days later an email notification pops up on your phone as you’re sitting in McLaren’s hospitality, talking with Lando’s Mom. You glance at who it’s from, not wanting to be rude and get on your phone mid conversation, but when you see your boss’s contact you can’t help but open it. “I’m sorry, it’s from work.” Cisca waved you off, the conversation had only consisted of why they couldn’t stock better snacks in hospitality, and she knew if work was emailing you on a Sunday it had to be important.

You had emailed them Monday night requesting the time off and when they hadn’t responded by Friday you figured they were denying it. Or firing you for requesting more time off while currently being on a vacation. So to be getting this email on a Sunday had you worried, but as your eyes scanned the email you couldn’t hold back the excitement. By some higher power unbestowed to you, they had granted you the time off.

“Never seen someone so excited over an email from work.” Cisca teased.

“Yeah. Honestly thought I was getting fired, but they approved my time off for the Italy trip Lando and I are taking.” You leaned back in the chair, relief finally washing over you.

“Just the two of you?” Cisca had her suspicions about her son’s feelings towards you and your feelings towards him. She’d secretly hoped the two of you would end up together the first time she met you years ago. She honestly thought you were his girlfriend that day and was surprised when he introduced you as his friend. Then she thought maybe he was hiding your relationship because she had never known her son to bring around a female friend like he had you.

You had attended family dinners, a couple holidays, races, and so many other things that just didn’t seem normal to bring a friend to. They had become so accustomed to you being around that when he finally said that he was bringing home his girlfriend for everyone to meet and you didn’t walk through the door— everyone was a little shell shocked. The relationship didn’t last long and she had her theories as to why. To Cisca there was just no way the two of you didn’t have feelings for eachother, she could see it plain as day, and it drove her crazy that the two of you didn’t see it.

“Yeah. At first I thought he was asking me to go to Ibiza again with everyone and you know me, it’s not my thing. But then he said we could go anywhere I wanted and that it was just me and him, so I chose Italy.” You gathered your things, eager to tell Lando the good news before race time. “You raised a good man, Cisca. I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life than him.”

There’s a smile on her face as she watches you talk about Lando, how your smile never falters and how that twinkle in your eye seems to get brighter the more you talk about him. “Thank you honey. You had better go tell him, hadn’t you?”

“I’ll be back!”

Thankfully Lando’s not that hard to find, he’s in the garage looking over some data on the monitors with Will when you spot him. You stand back out of the way, waiting until he’s done, but as soon as he turns to walk away you’re racing towards him. Your arms flinging around him from behind and you can feel him tense under you, but when he hears your laughter his muscles relax.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Lando asks as he turns around to face you, his hands lingering on your hips.

“Hmmm. It may have something to do with work approving my time off.”

That same smile from the other night finds its way onto his face and he’s pulling you into his arms, the two of you swaying back and forth as he nuzzles his head into your neck. “I knew they would approve it, it was meant to be.” His voice tickles your neck as he speaks causing a giggle to escape past your lips.

“Can’t believe we get to spend a week together in Italy.” You state as he releases you from his grip.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, still not sure that he wouldn’t rather be going to Ibiza with his friends.”You’re sure you’re not gonna miss Ibiza?”

His fingers toy with the hem of your shirt as he speaks– his blue eyes boring into yours. “I’d miss you more if I went.” And there isn’t a single ounce of doubt in his words. If he ended up going to Ibiza without you, he’d be at a club wondering what you were doing. Eventually downing one too many shots to try and numb that annoying ache in his chest that forms when you aren’t around. The one that even with you around this week, he had felt occasionally at the idea of you not being able to go to Italy.

The idea of him spending his summer break back in England had crossed his mind a couple times, especially if that meant he got to spend time with you. Luckily though fate was on his side today and he wouldn’t have to deal with that ache for the foreseeable future.

You can feel the slight blush on your cheeks as you process what Lando had said to you and you pray he doesn’t notice it. Just him simply saying he’d miss you if he went to Ibiza should not have you blushing, but here recently it seemed like that was all he could do was make you blush.

A familiar Australian accent hits your ears and around the corner comes Oscar, his hand clamping down on Lando’s shoulder as he comes up behind him. “Y/N. Haven’t seen you in awhile.” His bunny teeth showing as he flashes you a smile.

Your mouth barely opens to speak before Lando’s speaking for you. “I know. She’s been too busy working back in London to come see her favorite person.”

“I’m really such a horrible friend. I’m so sorry Oscar, I really should make more time to see you. In fact, how’s Australia this time of year? I think I might come visit you.” The playful smirk on your face and Oscar’s laugh does nothing to tell Lando that you’re just joking and like a little kid he’s got his arms crossed across his chest with a slight pout on his face.

“Um. I think I’m your favorite person Y/N. Plus you can’t even go to Australia because we are going to Italy.”

Oscar and you can’t help but laugh at Lando’s dramatics, but Oscar wants to tease Lando even further. He knows how his older teammate feels about you, even if Lando won’t give the idea any time of day when Oscar brings it up. Lando had confided in Oscar about his idea to take you on a trip, but Oscar didn’t think he’d actually go through with it. “Italy? Who’s all going? Maybe Lily and I could tag along?”

Lando’s eyes widen at Oscar’s suggestion, mainly because he knows you’d jump at any opportunity to spend time with Lily and this trip was meant to be just for the two of you. “It’s just gonna be me and Y/N…” He trials off, trying to figure out how to nicely tell Oscar that he can’t come.

“There's a month between Singapore and Austin. We should all plan something for then.” You chime in. As much as you would love to spend time with Oscar and Lily, you really want to have this trip just be Lando and you.

Lando’s surprised at you turning down Oscar’s suggestion, but smiles and nods towards Oscar, agreeing with your idea. “Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” Oscar states, a small smirk on his face as he eyes the two of you, fully knowing that you’ll come back from Italy together. And if you don’t Oscar thinks he may have to knock some sense into his teammate.

The driver’s parade was set to start soon, so you tell Oscar you’ll see him around and give Lando a hug, knowing you won’t see him again until after the race. “I’ll see you later, yeah? Be safe and good luck.”

Lando’s grip on you lingers, not wanting to fully let you go just yet, but when they get the final warning that it’s time to go he reluctantly frees you. A small frown on his face as he heads towards the track and you go back to hospitality.

The two McLaren drivers stood side by side on the flatbed of the moving truck, smiles on their faces as they waved at the fans in the grandstands. “Never seen two friends like you and Y/N go on a trip together– alone.” Oscar’s voice is low, there’s an interview going on to his left, but he’s loud enough that Lando can hear him.

Lando keeps looking straight forward as he speaks. “Don’t know what you mean by that.”

“I think you fully know what I mean.”

Max, who was on the other side of Lando, had been eavesdropping the whole time, and couldn’t help but put his two cents in. “If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about. I just want to say, do us all a favor and finally tell her how you feel.”

Lando shook his head at the two drivers. You two were just very close best friends, there wasn’t anything he needed to admit to you. It was just a trip that two best friends were going on and there was nothing more to it– right?

─── ༺❀༻ ───

A week and a half later your plane touches down in Naples and even though the flight from London is only around three hours you want nothing more than to just get to the hotel and relax.

The Uber ride from the airport to the hotel thankfully doesn’t take long and you have no issue with sitting down in the lobby of the hotel with all the luggage while Lando checks you two in. You do notice that it’s taking quite a long time for Lando to check in and as you glance up from your phone towards the reception desk you see him talking with the worker and showing her something on his phone. Then with a sigh and a shake of his head he turns on his heel back towards you.

“Everything alright?” You ask.

He slips his phone back into his pocket and grabs his suitcase. “I booked us a two bedroom suite and they told me that all they have available is a one bedroom. Even though I showed them the booking on my phone, someone is already in it. So, I’ll just take the couch and you can have the bed.”

This place was fancy, and Lando had undoubtedly paid a pretty penny for the two nights that you were staying here. You would have thought they would have comped the room or something for their mistake. But by the displeased look on his face it didn’t seem they offered him anything but a sorry for the inconvenience.

Even with the hotel screwing up the room, the one you end up with is amazing and as you enter the room your jaw drops slightly at it. You set your bags down and explore the room further, taking in all the beautiful artwork on the walls and the natural light streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows. You enter a door to your left and it’s the bedroom, which is even better than the main room, mainly because of the huge balcony that overlooks the sea.

There’s a gentle breeze in the air as you lean against the railing, taking in the view and the hustle and bustle from the surrounding area.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Lando’s voice makes you jump, you were so lost in your own little world you didn’t even hear him come out onto the balcony. You nod your head in agreement as he slots himself beside you, mimicking your actions of leaning on the railing. “And it’s not even the best part of our trip.”

“You know you didn’t have to get such a nice room, we are only in Naples for two days.” As much as you try not to feel guilty about him paying for all of this, you do.

“And what did I say a couple weeks ago?”

A groan emits from you as you remember his words to you in Monaco. “You said to let you spoil me.”

“Exactly. I just want you to enjoy yourself and stop worrying about how much everything costs. We are here to relax and have fun, which means figuring out what we want to do tonight.”

You ponder your endless options and all you really want to do is sit on this balcony and enjoy the view, but your stomach growling tells you maybe dinner would be a good idea first. “We are in Italy– how about getting some pizza and then just come back here and relax?” Lando agrees and while you’re freshening up he looks up good pizza places within walking distance.

You two are just about ready to leave when there's a knock on the door, followed by room service!

A confused look is shared between you two, but when Lando looks through the peephole there stands a worker with a room service cart. He opens the door and is greeted with a smile from the employee.

“From the hotel as an apology about the room.” The employee hands Lando an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne nestled in it. “Have a nice rest of your stay.”

Lando looks back at you with an amused look on his face as the guy quickly leaves, the wheels of the cart squeaking as he hurries down the hall. “Well, we have something to drink on the balcony later.” Lando states as he sets the bucket down on the coffee table.

“Champagne and pizza? No thanks.” You see there’s a card attached to the bottle and as you open the envelope and read the words written, your cheeks turn scarlet.

“What does it say?” Lando questions, moving to stand behind you so he can read it too. His eyes scan the letter and he soon finds himself in the same state as you. He clears his throat as he steps back, suddenly feeling too close to you at the moment.

to the happy couple,

we are so deeply sorry about the mix up with rooms and we hope you can accept our apologies. we’ve sent a bottle of the finest champagne that you can get in naples and have comped any room service you may order during your stay. as always if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call the front desk and once again we sincerely apologize for our mistake. we hope you enjoy your stay here and the city of naples.

The letter isn’t spoken about, actually what you two were addressed as isn’t spoken about, but you both agree that their actions were nice. The walk to the pizza place is quiet, the both of you occasionally pointing out things that you think are interesting or pretty, but both of your minds are preoccupied with being mistaken for a couple. Anyone else would have laughed it off, but clearly not the two of you.

By the time you’re back at the hotel and sat on the balcony with the pizza and champagne your conversation had returned to normal. You teasing Lando about not even drinking the glass he had poured for himself and him complaining about you insisting that you get a pizza that has peppers on it.

“You know what would make this evening even better?” The pizza is long gone and the two of you are sat admiring the painting in the sky left behind from the sun.

“Some pink moscato?” There’s a grin on his face as he says it. If there’s one thing he knows you love, it’s a glass of pink moscato on a balcony with a view.

You try to hide the smile on your face as you glance over at him, but he’s caught you. “You know me too well Norris.”

“Should’ve told that employee that we wanted a ten dollar bottle of wine instead of that champagne.” Lando jokes.

“Thought you didn’t like it? That it was too sweet?”

He shuffles slightly in his seat, fully knowing that you’d caught on to his facade. “I may have grown to love it.” He admits quietly.

You’d known for a while, but hearing him say it was much more satisfying. “Yeah. Kinda figured it out last year when you started drinking more of it than me.”

Nighttime draws near and once you start yawning, so does Lando, and after the fourth round of yawning Lando states that it’s time for bed. The subject the two of you hadn’t discussed any further than what was said in the lobby earlier. The guilt started to eat at you as you brushed your teeth, he’d invited you and is paying for everything and he doesn’t even get to sleep in a bed? What kind of friend were you?

Lando was making the couch up as you walked out of the bathroom and for this being a luxury hotel that couch looked stiff and seemed to be more for show than actual comfort. He already had a bad back and it looked like sleeping on that couch was going to have him trying to find a chiropractor tomorrow instead of sightseeing. “Lan. You take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He doesn’t even look back at you, still occupied with trying to make the couch somewhat comfortable. “No. I’ll be fine. You take the bed.”

“Lando.”

“Y/N.”

“Lando, look at me.” You knew he wasn’t going to budge with the whole couch thing, so you thought of the next best thing. The two of you sharing the bed. It was plenty big and truly it shouldn’t be that big of a deal if you two shared it. You were grown adults and bestfriends, no one should have to sleep on the couch.

His focus tears away from the couch and over to you, who’s already in bed and under the covers. “Look at how big this bed is.” Your body extends over to the other side trying to show him just how big the bed is. “Just sleep in the bed with me, there is plenty of room.”

Your offer takes him by surprise and he stills for a moment, he’d love nothing more than to climb into that bed right now, but a part of his brain is telling him not to. And he’s about ready to tell you no once again until he makes eye contact with you. Those damn eyes of yours could be used in interrogation rooms across the world, one look into them and he’s crumbling like a poorly built sandcastle. The gentle pat on the empty side of the bed is what flattens the sandcastle and he’s mumbling out an okay before sliding under the sheets next to you.

The two of you don’t know what to do for a moment, both still and flat on your backs under the sheets, like if you moved an inch the gremlin under the bed was going to get you. But eventually Lando turns on his side, mumbling out a goodnight as he pulls the comforter closer to him. You take his actions as a sign for you to roll over too and you figured that falling asleep wouldn’t be an issue after all the yawning earlier, but you were wrong. You tried counting sheep, tried laying on your back, tried anything you could think of to fall asleep and nothing worked. It wasn’t like there was a major time difference between here and London, it was literally only an hour, so unfortunately jet lag could not be to blame.

Lando hadn’t moved the whole time and you figured he fell asleep as soon as he turned over, but you were bored and going a little crazy because even though you were tired, you couldn’t fall asleep. “Lando.” You whispered, but got no response. “Lando. Are you awake?” You whisper a little louder this time, but still no response. So with a defeated sigh you roll back over and shut your eyes, praying that this time you can go to sleep. But within a matter of seconds you feel the bed shift and Lando’s voice echoing through the room.

“I’m awake.”

You roll back over— the two of you now facing each other. “Why didn’t you answer me a minute ago?”

“I was trying to go to sleep myself.”

“Oh sorry. I’ll go out to the other room and watch some TV or something.” You barely move an inch before Lando’s got his fingers wrapped around your forearm, gently pulling you back towards him.

“No, don't leave.”

You can feel your heartbeat quickening as you realize just how close the two of you are. The glow from the moon cascades through the balcony doors allowing you to make out the moles on his face and those pretty long eyelashes of his that make his already breathtaking eyes seem even more beautiful. Sometimes you think he has stars in his eyes from the way that they sparkle. And as the two of you lay here right now, you realize the only reason that the moonlight is flooding into the room is because she’s looking for her lost stars that have found a home in Lando’s eyes.

“You got any ideas on how to fall asleep? I’ve tried just about everything in the book.” For some reason you're whispering and you wonder if it’s from how close you are to Lando’s face or how suddenly nervous you are to be this close to Lando.

He’s silent for a moment, the logical and sane part of him screaming at him to not even suggest what he’s been thinking about ever since climbing under these sheets. The mere idea of it being the thing that had prevented him from being fast asleep by now. But he’s got you at literal fingertips length and he thinks there may not be another opportunity like this again. So– he acts with his heart and not his brain.

“Come here.” He’s moved onto his back with his arm outstretched towards you.

“Huh?” You know exactly what he’s insinuating, but you can’t actually believe that he is.

“You wanted an idea on how to fall asleep and this is my idea. I’ll get you to fall asleep in no time.

“You think us cuddling is gonna get me to fall asleep?” You definitely hadn’t wondered what it would be like to be wrapped up in Lando’s arms before. How it would feel to have his fingertips trance mindless patterns across your skin or have your head on his chest. He was your best friend, which meant those thoughts had never crossed your mind– right?

He shrugs, trying to hide the nervousness in his demeanor, the mere thought of you denying him right now was enough to have him on the next flight back to Monaco in the morning. He should have never put himself in this situation, but god as soon as he climbed into this bed all he wanted to do was have you wrapped up in his arms.

It had consumed his brain, and then consumed it even more because why was he having this desire to have such a tender moment with his best friend? Though his brain stops spiraling when he feels the bed shift and you’re suddenly tucking yourself into his side, arm slung over his torso, and your head laying on his chest. The same chest that his heart is about ready to beat out of and he prays you can’t hear how hard it’s working.

But as you both get settled and Lando’s heartbeat finally mellows out he realizes just how right this feels, like the two of you were matching puzzle pieces. Any other girl he had cuddled with before now seemed to feel wrong because as far as he was concerned, nothing felt better than this. It felt natural and easy and he found himself drawing absent minded patterns on your side where your shirt had bunched up.

He’d spend the rest of his life here in this moment with you if he could. And when he hears your slight snores something short circuits in his brain and he’s pressing a kiss to the top of your head mumbling out goodnight before he’s out like a light too. The moonlight blanketing over the two of you, who right now look more like lovers than best friends.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

The next morning you’re already up and ready for the day by the time Lando wakes up and he tries to hide the disappointment of not waking up next to you, already missing the feeling of having you so close. A feeling though nice, he knew it was one that he probably shouldn’t be feeling. He asks you if you slept well while he’s getting ready and you tell him yes, not going into very much detail, for your own sake and his.

The day is full of sightseeing and lots of walking, which is something that Lando likes to complain about. You visit Pompeii and a handful of other places for you and Lando to nerd out about and truly be tourists. You eat amazing food that Lando says his trainer will hate him for, but he justifies it with the excuse of being on vacation. Hundreds of pictures were taken, your phones already begging for more storage and it was only the first day of the trip. Lando even went as far as bringing an actual camera, stating that lando.jpg would be revived soon.

But in between the sightseeing, eating, and everything else– both of your brains immediately go back to the sleeping arrangements from last night. You both can’t stop thinking about it, but no one brings it up, almost like it’s something you should be ashamed of. No one wants to admit how right it felt to be in eachothers arms last night or how both of you probably had the best sleep of your lives.

You didn’t want to admit that when you woke up this morning to Lando spooning you, your stomach was doing flips over the realization that you had moved in the middle of the night and he had found his way back to you. So many thoughts and emotions running through your brains, yet you both think it’s better to just act like it's not a big deal.

Night falls once again and Lando crawls into bed next to you. You’re both absolutely spent after the eventful day you’ve had and Lando worries that you won’t need him to fall asleep, but his worries soon dissipate because you’re tucking yourself into his side as soon as he’s gotten himself comfortable. You’re like a moth to a flame– the consequences of these actions never even enter your mind as slowly feel yourself drifting off to sleep.

And when morning comes you don’t run away when you feel Lando’s arms around you, even with the butterflies making an appearance again. You enjoy your moment alone, the sun shining in through the windows, the sound of the city already alive, and the way Lando looks as he sleeps. It's truly a beautiful morning.

He wakes up not too long after you and there’s a funny feeling in his chest when he realizes that he’s gotten to wake up with you still in his arms. That you were the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. It all just feels so natural and right, that once again no words are spoken about this very non-platonic thing that is happening between you two.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

“We’ve got a little bit a drive ahead of us today.” Lando states as he comes out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Water droplets are scattered across his tan skin, his damp curls falling slightly onto his forehead. You’re trying not to stare, but good lord how could anyone not.

“It’s only like an hour.” You're still sitting in bed, propped up against the headboard as you now watch him rummage through his suitcase.

He holds up a shirt and shorts, silently asking for your opinion. You give him a nod of approval and he heads back to the bathroom to get dressed, but he leaves the door slightly cracked so he can still talk to you. “Yeah it was an hour. I’ve canceled the driver and made some new plans for today.”

“New plans?” You raise your voice slightly so he can hear you.

“It’s a surprise.” He peeks his head around the slightly open door— a mischievous smile painted across his face, before disappearing behind it once more. “So you had better start getting ready.” He commands as the door fully opens, revealing a fully dressed Lando.

A few short moments later a domestic scene plays out in the bathroom mirror. The double sinks both occupied, various hair products, makeup, and other random items are scattered across the counter. You’re watching Lando through the mirror as he tries to wrangle the mop of curls on his head, but everytime you look away he’s watching you brush your teeth or do your skincare. And the occasional times your eyes do meet in the mirror you’re both like little kids, eyes immediately darting away with smiles on your faces and little giggles echoing through the bathroom.

“You gonna tell me what the surprise is?” Patience had never been your strong suit and thus knowing about surprises was like a form of torture to you.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” He’s still screwing with his hair, but he’s looking at you through the mirror.

“Oh come on, just tell me. Pretty pretty please?” You’ve come up behind him, your chin resting on his shoulder as you flash your best puppy dog eyes at him through the mirror. And for a split second Lando almost cracks– those puppy dog eyes working on him better than you would have ever thought.

“The faster we pack everything up, the faster you get the surprise.” He’s shocked his words come out smoothly, his brain still foggy from your pretty eyes and close contact.

Ten minutes later you’re walking out of the elevator and into the hotel lobby, where Lando tells you to wait while he goes outside for a moment. You assume the surprise is outside and so you try to peek and see what’s out there, but he’s coming back in before you can get a good look.

“Alright let’s go.”

You don’t see anything that you would consider surprise worthy as you walk out the doors, but then Lando leads you towards the cars parked outside the hotel and stops in front of a vintage yellow Ferrari. Your eyes dart back and forth between Lando and the car, unsure if he was just stopping to admire it or if you were going to be riding in it. He answers your unasked question by opening the passenger side door, motioning for you to get in.

“Is this the surprise? Where did you even get this car from?” Your eyes widening over the car itself and the fact that he’d gone through the trouble of even finding the car.

“It’s part of the surprise-” He’s got a smirk on his face as he speaks “and I have my connections.” He motions once again for you to get into the car and this time you don’t oblige. The leather seat soft under your legs as you sit down, the car was surely close to 60 years old, yet still looked brand new.

Lando puts the luggage in the trunk while you're examining all of the car’s little quirks and details while you wait.

“Ok, you ready?” Lando asks as he gets in the driver's seat.

“Gonna tell me the other part of the surprise?”

He sighs, he wanted you to figure it out on your own, but you were so persistent sometimes. “You know how you’ve always talked about wanting to drive along the coast of Italy?” You nod, a smile already forming on your face as you realize what he’s planned for you. “Well, instead of just taking the straight shot over, we’re gonna take the long way all along the Amalfi coast. And I figured it was only fitting that we do it in a Ferrari, considering we are in Italy after all.”

You can’t wipe the smile off your face as you stare at Lando from the passenger seat. Sometimes you wondered if he was even listening to you when you spoke, but then he pulls stuff like this and you know that he’s always listening– remembering things that you care about or like. “God, I don’t deserve you.”

Thankfully the car is still parked because you’re pulling Lando into a bone crushing hug, your cheek smushed up against the side of his head, a giggle emitting from him as he tries to hug you back.

“When you told me your work approved the time off, I knew for sure that this was one thing that I wanted to make happen. That same night I was online trying to find a car to rent for the day, but then I saw this one for sale…” His words trail off and your jaw drops at the realization, but in all reality you know it’s a very Lando thing to do.

“And now we’re sitting in your newest baby?”

He’s got a sheepish look on his face as he speaks. “As soon as I saw it I knew it was the perfect car for this. Plus it’s the ultimate vacation souvenir!”

“You’re crazy.” He actually couldn’t be more perfect.

“Yeah, but you love me.” He teases as he starts the engine.

“Unfortunately.”

─── ༺❀༻ ───

The long winding road along the coast provided scenery that was beyond your wildest dreams. It was serene and picturesque– like something straight out of a movie. The bright blue water on one side of the road and the white stone mountains on the other. The various tunnels that somehow had even more breathtaking views on the other side of them. The handful of towns that you had to drive through, each of them more charming than the last, you only wished you had enough time to stay a week in all of them.

As simple as this was, you would have been more than content with this trip if you went home tomorrow, not that you wanted to, it was just that sometimes the simple things in life meant more than anything lavish to you. You weren’t hard to please, all you needed was Lando singing along to some song on the radio, beautiful scenery, and the wind blowing in your hair for you to be the happiest girl in the world right now.

The whole trip your attention was divided between the coastal beauty and the beauty in the driver's seat. You couldn’t help but glance over ever so often at Lando, especially when you’d hear him start to sing along to a song. He just looked so ethereal sitting next to you, one hand on the steering wheel– the other resting between you two.

There was a moment where you felt the sudden urge to reach out and intertwine your fingers with his, a moment of insanity you’d thought. It surely had nothing to do with how sunkissed he looked from only being in the sun one day, or how the wind had made his curls the perfect amount of messy, or how you’d catch him looking over at you with a smile on his face.

If only you knew that Lando had been fighting the urge to reach out and grab your hand too. He’d never seen you so ecstatic over something as simple as going for a drive, but he’d drive this car till he ran out of road or gas, whichever came first, just to see that smile of yours. The way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight and how you giggled at his singing was just an added bonus, but all of them made his chest feel funny. He’d been around the world more times than he could count, seen so many breathtaking places, but right now none of those places compared to the beauty that was sitting next to him in this car.

You’re in your own little world so much that you don’t even realize you’ve made it to your destination until Lando’s putting the car in park in front of a very luxurious looking villa. “We’ve arrived.” Lando states in a sing-song voice.

“Is this when you tell me Max and everyone else are actually coming too?” You question, flabbergasted over the size of the house. And you can tell what he’s thinking just by his facial expression. “Lando this place is huge just for the two of us.”

He rolls his eyes before getting out of the car to get luggage. “It’s actually a lot smaller than you think.”

When you step foot into the two story villa it immediately has that Mediterranean coast charm with intricate tile floors, artwork that adorns the walls, and windows with the most gorgeous views– needles to say you’re in love.

Then you take in just how big the place is with it’s one too many bedrooms and bathrooms and various other rooms that you probably won’t even use. Lando’s words echo in your head as you explore the house some more, and there’s nothing small about this place at all. “You’re such a liar Lan.” Your words are playful as you walk through one of the many french doors in the house that leads out to the back.

“Lie? I would nev-”

“Oh my god!” He’s cut off by you realizing that the backyard of this villa is nothing shy of paradise. A massive pergola covered part of the back of the house with vibrant bougainvillea lining the top and hanging down the sides. Various other flowers and plants are scattered strategically around the area. Under the pergola there's an outdoor kitchen and a large glass dining table, clearly meant to host a group of people, not two. Further out there’s a pool with sunbeds lined down one side of it– a poolside bar on the other.

All of these things are great, but the real show stopper is the view that this place has. From the front of the house you can’t really tell just how close you are to the water, but from out back it’s a completely different view. There’s a separate sitting area slightly further out from the pool. It’s got a little pergola of its own with couches and chairs and one of those fancy rock fire pits and that is where you get the best view.

It’s like something out of a nature documentary– it’s so perfect that it almost seems fake. The sea is so close that you can hear the waves crashing against the rocks and it’s just endless bright blue water for days. You thought the view in Naples was pretty, but this was breathtaking.

“Knew you’d love this place.” Lando states as he comes up beside you, acting like he hadn’t been lingering behind you the whole time, admiring the view (you) from afar.

It was true though, Lando knew as soon as he saw this place online that it was the one. It didn’t matter that he paid an astronomical amount for it or that the house was way too big for just the two of you. All it took was for him to see the view to know you’d be the happiest girl in the world here.

He could picture you two sitting out here in the evening, watching the sun set over the coast, undoubtedly with a bottle of pink moscato. You’d end up drinking one too many glasses and your cheeks would get red and you’d get the giggles.

As Lando stood here– eyes never leaving the beautiful scene in front of him. He can’t help but feel that funny feeling in his chest over how radiant and happy you look. And he thinks that if this house was for sale he’d buy it in a heartbeat, if that meant he got to see you like this all the time.

A smile finds its way onto your face as you glance over at the guy you call your best friend. “You weren’t lying when you said you were gonna spoil me, huh?” You gently nudge him with your elbow, your smile growing even bigger at his response.

“Only the best for my favorite person.” His smile is equally as big as you lean your head on his shoulder and in that moment he thinks that maybe the reserve driver could just finish out the season and he could just stay here with you.

That night as you both head to your rooms there’s an obvious tension in the air. You’re both slowly making your ascent up the stairs and lingering in the hall, trying to milk every last second until you inevitably have to go into your separate rooms.

After so long though, you’re the first to cave as your hand reaches for the doorknob. Your door creaks open and you’re mumbling out goodnight lan, i’ll see you in the morning before entering the room. Although you don’t close the door behind you and Lando takes that as an invitation to linger in your doorway. He doesn’t need to speak for you to know he’s there, you can feel his presence, and subconsciously you’ve left that door open for him.

“Goodnight Y/N.” You’ve got your back turned to him as you're digging through your suitcase for pajamas, but you can hear the slight grin he has on his face as he speaks.

The sight of Lando as you turn around has butterflies erupting in your stomach and it makes you feel weird to be feeling those things about your best friend. He’s leaned up against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and that grin that you’d sensed him having was still on his face as he looked at you. Your eyes scanned over him, focusing on little details like his hair still being wind tousled and how the tops of his cheeks were slightly burnt from the car ride today.

And for someone who claimed to not need a ton of sleep– he looked so sleepy as the two of you locked eyes. Those big blue eyes slowly blinking and drooping ever so slightly as his head now too rested against the door frame. He still donned the hoodie that you teased him about putting on earlier after his claims of it being chilly once the sun set, only adding to the sleepy look he had going on right now.

Someone had never looked so cozy and you wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his arms, but that wasn’t going to happen tonight. You will tell him goodnight again and he’ll close the door behind him before shuffling over to his room. Your mind will be preoccupied with him as you get ready for bed, the image of him in your doorway forever burned into your mind as you brush your teeth. As you crawl into bed you won’t think about how cold the sheets feel or how you want to be cuddled up to your best friend. You won’t think about how it’s been two hours that you’ve laid here and sleep has yet to greet you. And you certainly won’t think about how you’d be fast asleep right now if Lando was beside you.

But unfortunately you do think about all those things and you’ve exhausted every resource to try and distract you from it. It was different at the hotel when there was only one bed, but now with multiple bedrooms to choose from there was no reason for the two of you to sleep in the same bed. Lines were already blurring between you two without either of you knowing it and if you chose to go seek solace with Lando then those lines would blur even more.

But you didn’t know that your actions would eventually have consequences and seconds later you’re throwing the covers off of you with only one destination in mind– Lando’s room. The journey though, is short lived because as soon as you open your door you’re met with a wide eyed Lando, his fist frozen in the air like he was getting ready to knock on your door.

The frozen fist moves to rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks to you. “Sorry, was coming to see if you were still awake.”

“I was coming to see if you were up too.” He’s still got that hoodie on from earlier, but you noticed he’d changed out his shorts for boxers. His hair was even more messy and you’d wondered if he had even fallen asleep yet. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

Lando shrugs. “Not really– kept tossing and turning.” He acts like the reason he can’t go to sleep isn’t right in front of him as he rests his head on the familiar door frame.

“Yeah I can tell by your hair.” You tease. He just gives you a half assed smile and when he doesn’t tease you back that’s when you realize just how tired he is. “You want to watch some TV or something? ”

He shakes his head no. The only thing he wants to do is go to sleep, but how can he when you’re not next to him? It was embarrassing to admit that only after two nights of sharing the same bed that he couldn’t sleep on his own, but here he was. His big bed felt too empty and he realized that even if he slept in a twin sized bed it would still feel empty without you next to him.

Not to mention he’d found comfort in you being his personal heater at night. It was no secret that Lando ran cold, often seen sporting a jacket during race weekends while his teammate was in shorts. So with his personal heater gone, he’d resorted to wearing a hoodie to bed, which didn’t come close to holding a candle to you.

When he finally worked up the courage to get up and go to your room he was pleasantly surprised to find you up too and facing the same problem as him. A little sliver of him hoping that it was the exact same problem and that you couldn’t sleep without him.

For a split second you caught his eyes looking past you and towards your bed. He couldn’t have made it any more obvious, but if was actually hinting at what you thought he was hinting at, then you weren’t going to pass up on the opportunity. It wasn’t a coincidence that he had come to your door and that you both had trouble sleeping in separate beds. So, you act on impulse and tell him come on just sleep in here tonight and like a little kid who’s gotten scared of the thunder at night he’s crawling into your bed in an instant.

It’s like you two are magnets– immediately finding your way to each other under the sheets and it doesn’t take long for the both of you to finally fall asleep. And some time in the middle of the night Lando had shed his hoodie, no longer needing it with you pressed against him. When you two wake in the morning with the sun streaming through the windows and sleepy smiles plastered on your faces, there’s an unspoken agreement that even with the plethora of beds in this house, you two would be sleeping in the same one every night.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Lando and you were best friends, nothing more. Nevermind the sharing a bed every night or the longing glances or the sometimes suggestive thoughts you had about him. So maybe your friendship wasn’t practical or normal, but there was nothing romantic going on between you two. It was something you had drilled into your head for some time now. You’d try to ignore the way your heart would speed up when you’d catch him looking at you or the way he always has to have physical contact with you. And any other crazy thoughts that you’d speculated about had always been pushed aside rather quickly. He was your best friend after all and once again nothing more.

Though over the course of the week you’d found yourself having a hard time in pushing aside those non platonic thoughts about Lando. There were instances you two had found yourselves in that you just couldn’t ignore.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

“What’s the plan for today?” You ask as the two of you are sitting outside the cutest little restaurant, enjoying brunch.

Lando finishes the last little bit of his eggs before answering you. “Well nothing that involves you getting behind a motor vehicle with the way you’ve been downing those bellinis.” You roll your eyes at his dramatics. Yes, you’d had your fair share of bellinis, but they were so damn good and there really wasn’t that much alcohol in them for it to be an issue. “How about we just see where the day takes us?”

“Well I already had the idea of renting jet skis in my head, but I guess we’ll do what you suggested.” You joke.

Now Lando’s the one to roll his eyes at you as he flags down the waiter for the check. He doesn’t even look at it when it’s brought over, he just hands his card over like it’s nothing. It’s something that you still aren’t used to him doing even after knowing him for so long and you’re sure he’s gotten ripped off more times than he could imagine.

He quickly signs for it once the waiter comes back and with his card back in his wallet you’re free to go. Except when you stand up all those bellinis hit you and you’re a little unsteady on your feet, something that Lando clocks immediately. You aren’t drunk, just buzzed, but Lando isn’t going to let you live this down. “You wanted to rent jet skis huh?” He teases as he wraps an arm around your waist to steady you.

“Think we still could to be honest.” You’re confident in your ability to walk on your own, but Lando insists on keeping his hold on you.

“Well I don’t want to waste a day at the hospital, so let’s just look around at the shops.”

You’d passed them on your way to brunch and Lando had promised you’d come back to them. They were cute little stores, each one specializing in certain things. You took your time in each one, feeling the silky material of some of the dresses, admiring the leather detailing on the handbags, and gawking at the dazzling jewelry in the displays. Everything was quite luxurious and your eyes couldn’t help but linger on a certain bag and bracelet, but the price tags were all you had to see to know they weren’t coming home with you.

Lando had been watching you the whole time, fully prepared to be your bag boy and was ready to pull out his wallet whenever he’d see you pick something up. But much to his disappointment, all you did was look and after going through all the stores you left empty handed. “You didn’t see anything you wanted?” Lando asks as you continue down the street.

You simply shrug your shoulders at him. “Nothing that I couldn’t live without.” He doesn’t press the matter anymore, fully knowing that he’d be coming back sometime this week to get you that bag and bracelet that you kept circling back to.

The streets are charming and bright. It’s a place that you can’t help but feel alive in, especially as the summer sun beats down on you, but the light breeze coming in off the sea makes it bearable. Your buzz was long gone, but Lando still insisted that you link your arm with his as you stroll down the streets– just in case. You don’t oblige to his request, enjoying the feeling of holding onto his solid bicep as the sound of him slightly humming the song that was playing at brunch fills your ears.

A sense of peacefulness washes over you and it’s at this moment that you don’t feel like you’re on the arm of the famous Formula 1 driver Lando Norris. He doesn’t have a million cameras on him or people flocking to him for an autograph. It’s just you and your best friend Lando– the boy who was gagging when you teased the idea of ordering fish at dinner last night or who you laid in bed with this morning, watching dumb Tiktoks until you were both in tears laughing. It was nice for once, to just have Lando.

You’re just about ready to circle back to the villa when you hear a woman shouting in Italian from down the street. You’re not anywhere near fluent, but you recognize some basic words and what you’ve heard has you pulling Lando towards the voice.

Fior! Bei Fiori!

At the end of the street there stood the lady, who had a cart of the most vibrant fresh flowers. When she spotted the two of you approaching, a smile painted itself across her face. “I think your pretty girl deserves some flowers, don’t you?”

The corners of your mouth turn upwards and a smile is painted across your face. You can feel your cheeks getting warm at her statement, at the implication that you were Lando’s, but it’s his response that makes them comparable to the roses found on the cart.

Lando feels his chest get tight over the lady assuming the two of you were together. It’s nothing new, for people to assume that he’s with a girl just because he’s seen with one. Though for some reason when someone says it about you, it gets a reaction out of him. He’s grinning as he looks at you and then back to the sweet old lady. “You’re right, my pretty girl does deserve some flowers.”

The butterflies that erupted in your stomach at his words were embarrassing and not the appropriate reaction to be having over your best friend, but his comment wasn’t very platonic either. You’re blushing and grinning, probably very easily comparable to a school girl at the moment. He’s got a smug look on his face as he hands you of course the biggest bouquet the lady had. It’s truly a beautiful bouquet and it smells divine, it had anything you could have gotten at the shops beaten by a mile.

As you head back towards the villa you can’t wipe the smile off your face and you can’t stop thinking about my pretty girl. The words shamelessly repeating over and over again in your head. “So you think I’m pretty huh?” You tease.

Now Lando’s the one to blush and he hopes you just think it’s just from the heat and sun as you look at him. “Of course I do. I’d have to be blind to not think so.” He’s sincere with his words, he truly thinks you’re one of the most breathtaking women he’s ever met– intellectually and physically.

You lean your head on his arm, the same one you’ve still wrapped yourself around. “You sure know how to swoon 'em.”

“You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

And for the first time, for both of you, it feels weird and almost stings to hear the word best friend said out loud. Because deep down you know you’re way more than that.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Although you weren’t that much of a party girl you didn’t mind going out every once in a while. So when Lando suggested going out to one of the bars tonight it didn’t seem like a bad idea. You’d done your fair share of relaxing and to you that meant a night out deserved to be had.

With a final spritz of your perfume you’re ready to go and as you looked in the mirror one last time you couldn’t help but think damn, I look good. You found Lando waiting for you in the foyer, his head lifting up from his phone at the sound of your heels clicking down the stairs. “Might want to close your mouth before you attract flies Lan.” He hadn’t even realized he was in that much of a trance until you said something, he could feel his cheeks getting warm at getting caught.

You hook your arm with his as he leads you out the front door. “Sorry, you just look unreal tonight.”

“Well you don’t look too bad yourself.” He’d chosen his tried and true white button up, leaving the first few buttons undone, which revealed even more of his gorgeous tanned skin. How someone could make something as simple as a white button up shirt look so good was beyond you, but it was clearly something he was skilled at.

The bar you end up at is relatively small and you realize it must be the most popular one with how packed it is. It’s on the coast and there’s a gorgeous outdoor area that you are immediately drawn to, mainly because there’s slightly less people out here. It’s still a good time though and the people are somehow even more rowdy out here and you wonder if it’s the fresh air.

You’ve danced, drank, laughed, talked, everything you could think of on a night out. It's been nice, especially doing it all with Lando, who somehow through the course of the night has undone more buttons on his shirt and you think he might as well just undo them all. It’s clearly getting late from how the crowd is slowly starting to thin out, but you two are still having a ball, and you figure you’ll stay till they kick you out.

Lando’s gone inside to get you both another drink, which he easily could have gotten from the bartender out here, but he claimed that the guy didn’t know what he was doing. While you wait you venture off to a far corner of the patio that’s somewhat empty. There’s a couple people sitting in chairs sharing a cigarette, but other than that you’re alone. Even in the dark the view is amazing and as you lean on the railing a nice breeze comes in off the water. It’s relaxing and nice, especially when you’re that sticky kind of sweaty and a little more drunk than you realize.

“Absolutely beautiful.” You jump at the unfamiliar, yet familiar voice. It had been a minute since you’d heard another British accent besides Lando’s. When you turn around to put a face to the voice you aren’t expecting to see such a gorgeous man standing there. He’s really the whole package– stunning blue eyes, pretty smile, fluffy light brown hair, nice facial hair.

“Uh- yeah it is.” You assumed he was talking about the view.

“Can I join you?”

He’s cute and you wouldn’t mind some company, so you tell him yes.

“Where’d your boyfriend run off to?” He asks as he nurses his Corona.

“He’s not my boyfriend, but I’m not wrong in assuming you know who he is, right?” This guy is in his twenties and British, if he didn’t know who Lando was then he had to be living under a rock.

He takes a swig of his beer before responding. “I know who he is.”

You scoff, there was a big possibility that he was using you to get to meet Lando, it was something you’d dealt with many times before. Guys showing interest in you only in hopes of becoming Lando’s friend or even worse girls who would befriend you only to try and get with Lando. You weren’t some step on the ladder that led to Lando, you were your own person with feelings and a life, who deserved to have people like you for you, not who you knew.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the fact that you’re done being led on by people, but either way you confront the guy about it. “Are you using me to get to him?”

You hear him laugh a little and it lights a fire in you, but his words extinguish it before it gets out of control. “I was brave enough to come over here and willingly flirt with you before I even knew if he was your boyfriend or not. If I was trying to use you to get to him, I don’t think that would be a good plan. Which now that I know you’re not his girlfriend, kinda makes me think he’s an idiot. How could he have a girl like you in his life and not be madly in love with you?”

Your brain is fuzzy as you’re trying to process what he’s said. “Sorry wait- you were flirting with me?”

He’s got a cheeky grin on his face and he lets out a chuckle at your cluelessness. “When I said ‘absolutely beautiful’ I wasn’t talking about the view.”

“Oh.” You’d thought it was kind of weird for him to just randomly say that about the view, but for it to be aimed towards you was the last thing you had thought of. “Well, flirt all you want then.”

Not only did this place have one bartender that was incompetent, it seemed like all of them were. Lando had waited for what seemed like ages for a beer and a vodka cranberry. It wasn’t even that busy at the bar for it to be taking so long and at one point he contemplated just going behind the bar and doing it himself. By the time he finally got them he was surprised you hadn’t come looking for him, but when he made his way out onto the patio he saw exactly why you hadn’t.

Over in the corner Lando sees you doubled over laughing with some guy as he watches from afar. His grip on the glasses gets tighter as he sees you place your hand on the guy's arm. The tightness in his chest increases the longer he stands here and watches. It bothers him more than he cares to admit– to see you with some random guy. To hear that laugh of yours and him not being the source of it is driving him crazy. But what really sends him over the edge is when the guy tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear and without a second thought he’s storming over there.

Lando tries to play it cool as he approaches and he’s glad he’s got these drinks to use as an excuse. Your mid conversation when Lando interrupts, but he doesn’t care one bit. “Here’s your drink.” He says as he pushes the slightly watered down glass towards you.

“Oh thanks Lan.” You flash him a smile, but his face is emotionless and the fun light hearted atmosphere has suddenly turned awkward. For some reason you feel like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. “Um, Lando this is-” You remember at that moment that you hadn’t even asked the guy his name, which to you makes this even more awkward.

“Harry.”

“Right. Lando, this is Harry.” You motion between the two men. “Harry, this is Lando.”

Harry extends a hand out to Lando and they very awkwardly shake hands. “Nice to meet you mate.”

Lando only nods his head at him before turning his focus back to you. “I think we should get going, they are gonna close soon.”

You think he’s joking, considering he’d waited all that time to get these drinks, and now he suddenly wants to leave. “I just got my drink, can we at least stay until I finish it?” It also feels rude to just abruptly leave in the middle of the conversation that you were enjoying with Harry. But Lando doesn’t know how to hide his emotions very well and by the look on his face you know he’s being serious.

“Well you can stay, but I’m leaving.” He knows he shouldn’t leave you alone with some guy you just met, but god he doesn’t think he can stand here and watch you flirt with him anymore than he already has. So, without hearing your response he starts making his way towards the exit.

A regretful look washes across your face as you look at Harry. “That was so rude of him, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s up with him, he never acts like that.” You take a big swig of your drink, fully knowing dealing with Lando is gonna be a pain. “It was really nice talking to you, but I better go hunt him down.”

He shrugs, clearly not as upset over this whole situation as Lando or you are. “No biggie, I’m sure we’ll see each other around. It’s a small place.” You bid him goodbye, but you don’t get very far before he’s hollering. “Can I at least get your Instagram?” Which has you coming back and quickly exchanging usernames before you're off again to find Lando.

You run into him in the bar and it looks like he was coming back out towards the patio. A look of relief washes over him when he sees you and he’s leading you away from the loud music and out the front exit before either of you can say anything. Only once the bass of the music is a faint sound in the distance does Lando speak up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone with that guy. I was coming back in when you found me.”

“I appreciate you looking out for me, but you were kinda rude to him for no reason.”

Guess you were diving in head first with this.

Lando stops walking and turns to face you, a confused look on his face. “I wasn’t being rude.”

“Yes you were. We were having a conversation and you just butted in and demanded we leave. Not to mention you wouldn’t even speak to him. He was nice, you would have liked him if you gave him the time of day.”

“You barely know the guy, you talked to him for what ten-fifteen minutes? I just didn’t have a good feeling about him.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his dumb excuse. He shook the guy's hand and didn’t get a good feeling about him? Bullshit. “Well if you didn’t have a good feeling about him then why’d you leave me with him?” He’d started to walk again, but stopped dead in his tracks at your words, spinning on his heel to face you once again.

“I already told you I regretted leaving you. I just had to get out of there for a second.”

“Why?” You were being adamant, your arms crossed across your chest as you waited for his answer.

He knew exactly why, but he couldn’t tell you that, he hadn’t even fully accepted it himself. “I don’t know Y/N.”

You’re getting frustrated with him and these damn heels that you chose to wear are not making your mood any better. “There’s a reason for everything, Lando. How would you like it if I acted like you did tonight with a girl you were talking to? You’d be livid.”

He completely ignores your accusation and turns the conversation in another direction. It had been itching at him to know if you were just being nice or if you were actually interested in the guy, so he plucked up the courage to ask. “So you were flirting with him?”

The look on your face is one of pure confusion, but your tone is nothing but shitty. “I’m not sure how you jumped to that conclusion from what I said or why it’s really any of your concern, but yeah it was just some harmless flirting. I’m sorry for having a little fun!” You were thankful that it was late enough for the street to be relatively empty, the last thing that needed to happen was pictures or a video getting out of you two arguing. You were sure there were already rumors about you two being on vacation together, you could only imagine how this would be misconstrued.

Hearing that his best friend was potentially interested in someone else had his head spinning and he could no longer blame his reactions on the alcohol. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore, ignore the way his heart raced when he looked at you. Or how he loved hearing that old lady call you his girl the other day.

It had been building up– festering almost this whole week and maybe subconsciously he wanted to go on this trip with you to see if there was some truth to what everyone had teased him about. He just didn’t think it would actually be true. Or that at two in the morning on a dimly lit street in Italy, during an argument, he would finally accept that he was in love with you.

But even with him realizing he’s in love with you, that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute idiot. “He was probably just using you to get to me.” Lando immediately regrets what he said as soon as it comes out of his mouth. He knows that's a sore subject for you and the look of hurt on your face makes his stomach churn.

“Now you’re just being mean.” You’re sure it’s a mixture of things that are contributing to the salty tears welling up in your eyes at the moment, but it’s Lando’s comment that actually makes them fall. You’re storming off before he can say anything, wishing you would have just stayed at the bar with Harry.

Lando knows he’s an idiot, but he also knows he’s the one who lit the match, which means he’s gotta be the one to put it out. “Y/N come on. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have said that.” He catches up with you rather quickly, your heels slowing you down.

“Just leave me be Lando.”

“Y/N. Stop walking for just a minute.” He’s grabbing at your arm, trying to halt your movement.

You stop and face him and for what it’s worth he does look sorry, but that doesn’t change how you feel. “What? You want to poke fun at me some more?”

“No I-”

“You know I was just having a little harmless fun with that guy, like you said I talked to him for what? Fifteen minutes? Nothing was going to come out of it. But is it really that far-fetched of an idea for a guy to actually be interested in me just for me? Am I that undesirable and unlovable for it to seem like a reality? Or was he like everyone else who’s used me and threw me away as soon as they got their five minutes of the almighty Lando Norris experience?”

The tears that slide down your cheeks are a mixture of anger and embarrassment and maybe you were being a little dramatic. Perhaps the multiple drinks you’d consumed weren’t helping either, but when the person you care about the most says something like that, something you’d confided in him about, it hurts.

Lando feels his heart break to hear you talk about yourself like that. All he wants to do is to scream out that you’re not undesirable or unlovable. He’s wanted you and loved you for some time now, the moment it started he’s not sure, but he knows it didn’t happen overnight. It’s always been there– he was just too blind to see it.

He’s not entirely sure on how to make this right, he knows he was an ass, but he also knows he can’t take back what’s been said. The worst part is that he knows exactly how you feel and somehow he still thought that was a good thing to throw in your face– all because he was jealous. He could deal with people trying to use him, he’d developed a sixth sense for them and never let it get too far, but you were too kind. Your big heart and trusting of others had gotten you burned one too many times and it hurt Lando even more to know that all that had happened because of him.

“I should have never said that to you. I know first hand how it feels to have people use me and the only reason you’ve had to deal with that is because of me. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Your sniffles fill the night air as you try to calm yourself down. While people used you to get to Lando, at least they didn’t want to be your friend to leech off your fame. Use you for your money and generosity, expecting paddock passes and some lavish lifestyle. People saw Lando as an object rather than a person more times than not. While your feelings were valid and Lando was still an ass for saying that, you realized to be in his shoes was worse. So, you wipe away your tears and accept his apology indirectly. “Think we’ve only got each other at this point.”

His voice is soft as he approaches you, his hand reaching up to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face. “Don’t think I need anyone else but you.”

The tender moment has you turning to putty in his hands– the argument pushed to the back of your mind. His hand moves to cup your face and his tumb brushes gently across your cheek. You feel like time has frozen in this moment and for a split second you swear he looks at your lips, like he’s going to kiss you. The fact that this is your best friend is no concern to you at the moment. Then the moment between you two is ruined just as fast as it began, the sound of a very loud and drunk group of people leaving the bar up the street brings you both back to reality.

You back away from each other slowly, like you weren’t sure exactly what had just almost happened. You’d already resorted to blaming it on both of your emotions still running wild and the alcohol still coursing through your veins. The group of people are getting closer, their obnoxious singing getting louder as each second passes. They might not even know who Lando is, but you aren’t in the mood to wait around and find out, the last thing you want to deal with right now is drunk fans. “We’ve had too much to drink, my head and feet hurt. Let’s go home.” You grumble as you begin the trek home once again, your feet aching more and more with each step.

Lando stops for a moment and kicks off his shoes, he couldn’t let you walk in pain the whole way home. Especially after the pain he had caused moments ago. “Here put these on, your feet are killing you.” He hands you the white sneakers before squatting down in front of you to help you get your heels off.

Your feet already thank you as you slip on the oversized shoes that clomp on the stone street. And like a magnet you find yourself wrapping your arm around his as you walk down the street. You’re sure you two are a sight–you in shoes that are way too big and Lando only in socks as he holds your heels for you.

“You know you’re still an ass.” You tell him as you lean your head on his shoulder.

“I know.”

“You know you aren’t unloveable.” He hopes you know he’s being sincere, your words still replaying in his mind as you walk.

“I know.”

By the time you make it back to the villa you’re both exhausted. The alcohol, the argument, that moment between you two, the walk home– you were sure tomorrow morning would be a rough one. There aren’t many words spoken as you get ready for bed and as you slide under the covers next to Lando you can’t shake something from your mind from tonight, and it wasn’t the argument.

It was the fact that during the whole time you were chatting with Harry, you couldn’t help but compare him to Lando. There wasn’t the same sparkle in his eye like Lando, his smile wasn’t the same, his laugh. It seemed like everything that you noticed about this guy came second best to Lando. Sure you were having fun and he was nice, but not once had the thought of Lando slipped your mind. And even right now, with Lando next to you, you’re still somehow thinking about him.

It didn’t take long for Lando to fall asleep and you were on the verge of it when your phone went off on the nightstand. Usually, you would just ignore it, but something in you told you to see what it was.

harryinsta is now following you

You then see that he had sent you a DM and you’re expecting it to be about meeting up some time, which you were going to politely decline, but it’s quite the opposite.

harryintsa: i must have been mistaken earlier. lando's not an idiot.

yourinsta: huh?

harryinsta: he’s in love with you lol

Your heart nearly beats out of your chest as you read the message over and over again. Lando wasn’t in love with you, was he? Sure you’d heard it from just about everyone in your life that you two were in love with each other, but you always thought it was silly. You guys were just best friends is what you would always say, but to hear it come from a literal stranger was different.

You couldn’t lie that you hadn’t recently had your moments of perhaps thinking that he did, though you’d always talk yourself out of the idea. Although, if he was in love with you that may explain his behavior tonight. Or maybe it was just the alcohol like you’d originally thought. Then the tender moment you two shared entered your mind and suddenly the gears in your head are working overtime.

You locked your phone and sat it back down on the nightstand. Just from a simple DM you’d gone from being dead tired to now being wide awake– staring at the ceiling. You’re not sure how much time had passed as you laid there over analyzing every interaction with Lando. You were struggling enough trying to figure out the things you had recently felt about Lando, let alone the possibility that he was in love with you. All you knew for sure was that things weren’t the same between you two, you’d felt a shift when you were with him in Monaco before the Belgium GP. It had only amplified during this trip and you had a feeling that by the end of it things would be different.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

Two days later you’re sunbathing on a comfy lounger on the beach, while Lando’s out in the water doing god knows what. You’d given up on watching him a while ago, deciding instead to be productive and try to catch up to Lando’s tan level. Which, after laying here for some time now, it seemed impossible. That boy could be in the sun for a day and have a glowing tan– you not so much.

Moments later you think a cloud has passed in front of the sun, but when you feel cool water droplets on your hot skin you peek open one eye to find a wet and grinning Lando standing over you. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You greet him back as you sit up, your smile matching his. “Did you have fun out there?”

“I had a lot of fun and the water felt amazing. You should have got in.”

“I will later.” You notice he’s got one of his hands behind his back like he’s hiding something. “Lan, what have you got?” He tries to play dumb for a moment, trying to wind you up, but he eventually caves and pulls a plastic pail from behind his back. “Please don’t tell me you stole that from a kid.” Your half joking and half being serious, because where the hell did he get that from?

“I did not steal it from a kid– I borrowed it.” The smile on his face never falls as he continues to speak. “They had a bunch of them. I don't think they’ll miss it. Plus I needed something to put your present in.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, curiosity written all over your face. “My present?”

He’s smiling so hard as he sits down at the end of the lounger that you think this must be the best present in the world. Seconds later the pail is turned upside down and out falls the prettiest seashells. Your heart swells when you realize all that time he had spent out in the water he was looking for shells– for you. There’s a light pink one that catches your eye and Lando notices when you reach for it.

“Knew you’d like that one.”

Of course he knew that, sometimes you think he knows you better than you know yourself. “Can’t believe you spent all that time finding them.”

He shrugs like it’s an everyday thing. “I knew it would make you happy, which meant I enjoyed doing it. Really only took me so long because I wanted them all to be perfect for you.”

The sun beating down on you feels cold with how hard you’re blushing. “You’re my favorite person, you know that?”

Lando starts to get shy when you get sappy, like he hadn’t just said the sweetest thing a second ago. He’s smiling, but focuses on carefully putting the shells back into the pail. “You’re my favorite person too.”

A while later you decide to open up the umbrella between the two loungers. You had chosen to give up on the tanning lifestyle and instead dive into a new book. While Lando was fast asleep on the lounger next to you, apparently all that hunting for shells had worn him out.

You’d noticed out of the corner of your eye awhile ago that a little boy kept glancing over in your direction, specifically at Lando. You knew he had to have been a fan or he was the kid Lando stole the pail from. The nervous glances back and forth tell you that thankfully he’s a fan and you think it’s the cutest thing. You’re in the middle of considering waking Lando up so the boy could come over when you hear a groan that is undoubtedly Lando awaking from his slumber.

“What are you looking at?” He asks as he rubs his eyes.

You nod your head in the direction of the boy who’s just seen that Lando is awake and is practically bouncing with glee. “Think you may have a fan.”

A big grin spreads across Lando’s face as he sees the little boy. Lando loved meeting all his fans, but meeting the kids was his favorite. He thinks a big part of the reason he always makes sure to find time for the younger fans was because he was that kid once. Before he was ever F1 driver Lando Norris, he was just a kid who finally got the chance to meet their idol and he knows that picture or an autograph means the world to them

Lando motions for the boy to come over and he’s instantly tugging on his Mom’s shirt to get her to come with him. She gives you guys a questioning look and when Lando motions again they both come over.

The little boy’s Italian accent is the cutest thing ever as he greets you two and you can tell just how much it means to him to be talking to Lando.

“What’s your name?” Lando asks as he signs a beach towel of all things.

“Luca and I’m seven!”

“Seven is a great age. You know I started karting when I was seven!”

Luca’s eyes get as wide as saucers as he glances back at his Mom, who is already shutting down any talk of Luca karting. “I told you possibly next year. You’re still my little baby. I don't want you getting hurt!”

Lando gives the Mom an apologetic look. “How about a picture?” Which easily takes Luca’s attention away from karting, as he’s already at Lando’s side with a big smile on his face before his Mom has her phone out.

They take a couple pictures and high fives are exchanged throughout their interaction. The whole thing is very sweet and you can’t help but look on in adoration, fully knowing that Lando would make a great Father one day.

You see that Luca keeps looking over at you and then back to Lando, but you don’t pay that much mind to it. You figured he was just nervous or something, but what comes out of his mouth next takes you by surprise.

“Your girlfriend is very pretty.”

You feel your heart skip a beat and you glance over at Lando to see what his reaction is. You prepare yourself for the worst, but in true Lando fashion he’s all smiles. In fact he’s sporting that full face smile of his and it makes you feel funny.

“Thank you buddy, I think so too.” He looks over at you with nothing but love in his eyes and you’re immediately looking away like some shy school girl.

Thankfully, the Mom comes to your aid and quickly changes the subject. “Ok Luca, you’ve bothered them enough. We should get back to our spot. Thank them for their time.”

His cute little voice mutters out grazie as he gives you a small wave goodbye.

“It was very nice to meet you, Luca.” Lando bids him farewell and you both wave back at the little boy.

As soon as they’re gone you’re immediately shoving your face back into your book, you don’t even want to talk about what had just happened. It was nothing really to be so worked up over, it was just a little kid who saw two people together and assumed they were together. It happens all the time. But it is a big deal when you find yourself liking being referred to as Lando’s girlfriend. It doesn’t help when neither of you deny it and correct the person. Lando likes to play into it and you love it too much to say anything.

Ever since getting that DM the other night your mind had been in a whirlwind over how Lando felt about you and how you felt about him. Hell you can’t even look at him right now, you’re so in your head that you’ve been staring at the same page for the last five minutes. You just wished the book you were reading could tell you how to come to terms with the fact that you’re in love with your best friend.

It was something you’d realized the other night while you were awake overthinking everything. Those feelings had always been there, but you had just pushed them aside, ignoring every little butterfly or rapid heartbeat. When they actually turned into romantic feelings you have no clue because as far as you knew, you and Lando had always been like this.

You two just dove in head first into the co-dependent friendship that was more like a relationship lifestyle. All those times you’d gone to his parents house for family dinners and holidays, both of you attached at the hip. How he wanted to ask you to move to Monaco with him and then almost didn’t even move because he said he’d miss you too much. The group vacations that always ended up with you two going off and doing your own thing. The texts from him every Wednesday before a race asking if he needed to get you a paddock pass and a flight. This trip in particular– sleeping in the same bed when you don’t have to, the cuddling, the getting mistaken for a couple three times so far, the fact that it was just you two alone on the trip.

It was all there the whole time and you wondered how you could have been so blind to not realize it sooner. You were in love with him. You loved his pretty eyes and curls and the way his real laugh only seemed to come out around you. You loved his big heart and his caring nature and sometimes you thought he was too nice to be a Formula 1 driver.

You loved everything about him and truth be told it made your stomach hurt from how much you loved him. You wanted to actually be his and be able to kiss those pink lips that you sometimes found yourself staring at. When people said you were his girlfriend you wanted it to actually be true and not have it be Lando just playing along. You were so down bad that you prayed that Harry was right and that Lando was actually in love with you too.

While you were freaking out, so was Lando. When you immediately went back to reading your book and not speaking a word, he figured he had weirded you out by basically implying that you were his girlfriend. He just figured it was easier to go along with what the kid thought than explain that you weren’t his girlfriend, but god does he wish you were. He didn’t know what to say to try and test the waters because he knew whatever he would say would come out awkward and he didn’t want to make things worse. So, once again it’s not talked about and you two pretend that it didn’t happen when you finally speak again.

─── ༺❀༻ ───

It’s the last day of the trip and you’re dreading going back to reality and away from this little slice of heaven. The only thing you have to look forward to is the supposed fancy dinner that Lando had planned for tonight, which was what you were currently getting ready for. Music plays through your phone and you softly sing along as you do your makeup. When you look up after digging in your makeup bag you spot Lando in the mirror, leaning against the door frame behind you. Your eyes lower and you see that he’s holding two gift bags.

"Those better be for your Mom.” You state as you put the finishing touches on your makeup.

“I think we both know they aren’t.” He sees you roll your eyes in the mirror and it only makes him want to spoil you more. “It’s our last day, I think you deserve a parting gift.”

You turn to face him as he makes his way over to you. “I haven’t gotten you a single thing this whole time. It makes me feel bad.”

Lando only shakes his head at you. “You being here with me is the best gift you could have ever gotten me. I truly don’t need anything else.” He hands you the bags. “Now open them please.”

A small smile finds its way onto your face as you take the bags from him. You decide to open the bigger bag first and once you pull out the tissue paper you know exactly what it is. It’s still in its dust bag, but you see the branding and your jaw is dropping before you even see the actual thing. “You did not get me this bag Lando!” You exclaim as you remove the dust bag and see that it’s the same bag you were eyeing at the store the other day.

He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Saw you eyeing it and knew I had to get it for you and before you say anything else open the other present.”

You set the handbag down and grab the smaller gift trying to figure out what else he could have possibly gotten you. When you open it and see the bracelet you were also looking at the other day you’re at a loss for words. “Lando Norris!” You could slap him, hug him, kiss him, and yell at him all at once. He’d dropped probably close to six grand on these two gifts and your head is spinning at the thought of it.

“Don’t even say anything about the price. I know you’re thinking it, but I wouldn’t have bought you them if I couldn’t afford it. I wanted you to have them, you deserve nice things.” You deserved a lot more than a handbag and a bracelet, but what he thought you deserved money couldn’t buy.

You know there's no use in fighting him on it, but you still feel bad that he just spends all this money on you. He takes the bracelet from the box and fastens it around your wrist, the diamonds glittering in the light as you move it around. It’s truly stunning and the handbag will go great with your outfit tonight. As soon as you two make eye contact again you’re pulling him into a bone crushing hug and you two stay like that for probably longer than necessary. “Thank you a million times Lan. I love them both so much.”

It’s time to leave for dinner shortly after that and when you arrive at the restaurant the host guides you back to a secluded corner. It’s a very romantic ambiance and you can’t help but feel like you’re on a date, which wouldn’t be a horrible thing. Moments later a waiter comes over with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “It’s on the house– for the special couple.”

There it is again and it seems like with each time it happens it makes your heart race even more. Lando shifts in his seat and you focus on the rising bubbles in the glasses as the waiter pours the champagne. Lando tells him thank you and your attention moves to the menu.

“What are you thinking about getting?” You ask, ignoring the obvious.

“Probably the steak.” He grabs the flute of champagne and takes a drink. “What was that? The fourth time now?”

You know exactly what he’s talking about, but you’re surprised he’s decided to talk about it. “Yeah it was.” You set the menu down and grab the other flute. “Think I’ll get the steak too.”

Dinner actually turns out to be an amazing time. The food is decadent and Lando and you have good conversations that don’t revolve around you two being mistaken for a couple or being in love with each other. When the waiter brings the bill you’re quite sad because that just means this trip is that much closer to being over.

You take your time heading back to the villa, trying to savor every last moment you’ve got here. The sun was low in the sky by the time you get back and you tell Lando just how you want to spend your final evening in Italy. You hurry and change into comfier clothes and take off all your makeup before heading to the spot with the best view out back. Lando makes his way out there not too long after you, but he’s got one more surprise for you.

“Don’t think the evening or this trip would be complete without this now would it?” He pulls a bottle of pink moscato from behind his back along with two wine glasses.

He knew you too well, but it was something you loved dearly about him. “You’re a man after my heart Norris.”

He hands you a glass as he sits down next to you, the sun just beginning to set on the horizon. “I try.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you two for a while and the only sound to be heard is from the waves below. It feels like paradise sitting here with this amazing view and the guy you love next to you. It’s probably boring to the majority of people, but this was everything you could ask for and more and the perfect way to end this amazing trip. You lean in closer to Lando, your head resting on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around you. A content sigh escapes past your lips as his thumb starts to draw mindless circles on your arm.

“Thank you again for everything. This trip was amazing and I’m glad we got to go together– just you and me.”

“I’m glad too. It was probably the best summer break trip I’ve had. Don’t think Ibiza will be seeing me for a while.”

You’re not even looking at him, but you can sense the smile on his face and you can’t help but laugh at his lie. “Yeah, and I don’t like pink moscato.”

“Alright so Ibiza will inevitably see me, but not as much as Italy.” He pauses for a moment, glancing down at you still resting on his shoulder, his heart swelling just by looking at you. “I think this may be our place now, just for the two of us.” His voice is soft when he says it, like he’s not sure if he wanted to say it outloud.

You lift your head up and are met with his piercing blue eyes staring back at you. He looked radiant as golden hour cascades over him and it’s like you’re in a trance as you look at him. You take in every last bit of him, all the little details about him that you’ve memorized over the years. The slight stubble on his face from not shaving for a couple days, the little moles, his long and somehow always curled eyelashes, those pink lips of his. He’s everything you could have ever dreamed of and more. You’ve had him at fingertip length for so long now and all you want to do is reach out for him, take what you want and never let go.

Lando feels his breath catch in his throat as you two make eye contact. You’d never looked more beautiful than in this moment and he doesn’t know how much longer he can take without you actually being his. You were the love of his life, his best friend, and everything he’s ever wanted. It may have taken him a long time to realize it, but he’s never felt like this about anyone before. You know each other like the back of your hands and it only makes sense that you’d be the one for him.

And it’s in this moment that it clicks for you two that it’s now or never. You’re never going to have a perfect moment like this again. It feels right, like the universe wants this moment to happen and if you let it go to waste you may never get the chance again. Lando takes his free hand and gently cups your face, his thumb ever so softly rubbing across your cheek. You’re practically putty in his hands and you feel like your heart is gonna beat out of your chest. You want to scream out to him that you love him, that you want to be his, but you can barely get your brain to communicate with your mouth.

“Lan-”

That’s all you can get out before Lando’s leaning in and his lips are on yours. He tastes like the sugary sweet wine and his lips are soft as they move in sync with yours. Kissing him is even better than you’d imagined and as your hand reaches up to his neck you deepen the kiss. It feels like you two had kissed a thousand times before and as he pulls away you’re already left wanting more.

Your foreheads rest against each other, both of you breathless and a little light headed from that singular kiss. When you both actually internalize what’s just happened you’re both grinning, that then turns into laughing and it’s like music to both of your ears to hear each other laugh.

“I think that was a long time coming.” You state as you finally lean back onto the couch.

Lando reaches out for your hand, intertwining his with yours. “When did you realize?”

“That night when we got into that argument, which looking back now, you were totally jealous.”

“I was not jealous!” He tries to be serious, but the knowing look on your face has him cracking. “Ok I was jealous.”

“When did you realize?” You question.

“That same night. I couldn’t understand why you flirting with that guy bothered me so much. Well I guess now we know.”

“Yeah cause you’re in loooveee with me.” You’re laughing as you speak, but he shuts you up with another kiss and leaves you pouting when he pulls away.

“Only kissed you twice and you’re already pouting when I pull away? I think you’re in loooveee with me.”

You lean back in, capturing his lips in yet another kiss and you’re like teenagers who’ve gotten into their first relationship.

Lando sighs when you stop kissing him, he can’t believe he could have had this sooner if he would have just opened his eyes. “You think you could get another week off from work?”

You’d do anything to get another week in a paradise with him, but you know it’s not possible. “Hmm, why don’t you just spend a week in London with me?”

“Well you haven’t even told them that you now have a famous F1 driver boyfriend. Who if they didn’t know already is very needy and needs to see his girlfriend.” He teases.

“Well you forgot to add that you’re my hot and famous F1 driver boyfriend.” You counter back.

You’re both grinning like fools at each other and as you curl up into his side and take in the last sunset you’ll see in the place that now holds such a special place in both of your hearts, you’re glad you let him convince you to come on this trip.

As the sun finally sets over the water you actually say those three little words.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

AITA for Not Telling My Girlfriend My Natural Hair Color?

Posted by u/blondinblacktie

I’m not entirely sure where to begin, but I’ll try to be as clear as possible.

I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for a little over two years. We met in high school. She’s the kindest person I know, and possibly the only person who’s ever made me feel genuinely understood. She's thoughtful, intelligent, funny, and—though this feels like an embarrassing word to use—ethereal. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be with her.

We both lean into a more goth aesthetic, though I don’t like calling it a “phase” or “a look.” It’s something I connected with on a level I couldn’t fully articulate at the time. It felt like finally dressing like how I’ve always felt inside. She wears black every day, sometimes does makeup, sometimes none at all. She's beautiful regardless.

Here’s the issue:

I’m naturally blond. Extremely blond. I mean platinum blond. The kind that borders on white. Think Scandinavian child raised in overcast conditions. I’ve been dyeing it black since I was 14. My hair has never once seen daylight in its natural color since then.

My girlfriend has never seen a photo of me from before that time, and I’ve never brought it up. She never asked, and I never lied. But I didn’t offer it either. And I think that omission is eating me alive.

A few days ago, we were having a quiet conversation—just the two of us—and she mentioned, offhandedly, how nice it would be if our future children inherited our black hair. I smiled. I nodded.

Another time(I remember now), she had said that she never found blond guys attractive. She said they always gave off the impression of being shallow or vain.

I haven’t slept properly since. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s been four days and I feel... off-balance. Like I’m walking around with a secret that’s slowly poisoning me.

I don’t want to lie to her. I don’t want to make this a bigger deal than it is. But I also don’t want to tell her and have her feel deceived. I’m scared she’ll see me differently. Not in the “she’ll leave me” sense—though yes, that fear is there—but in the way where someone you love tilts their head slightly and says, “Oh... I didn’t know that about you.” And suddenly you feel like a stranger in your own skin.

This feels stupid. I know it’s just hair. But it’s more than that. It’s identity. It’s vulnerability. It’s the person I used to be—the one I worked hard to change.

AITA for keeping this to myself?

⇧ 20k 🡇 💬8k ⮳Share

Top comments:

u/HairDyeIsMyTechnique:

bro. you’re not coming out as a war criminal. you’re blonde. just tell her. 💀

r/goth:

welcome to the Goth Guilt Club™. everyone here is secretly blonde or ginger and fighting for their life every root touch-up.

u/AskWomen:

I literally dye my hair black and my boyfriend is a natural redhead who goes full-black goth for me. If I found out he was hiding his red roots out of shame, I’d laugh and then kiss him. She probably will too.

u/GojosBlockedList:

“I’m scared she’ll look at me like a stranger in my own skin” — YOU DYED YOUR HAIR, NOT YOUR SOUL BRO 😭😭😭 just say "hey my natural hair color is actually blonde and I’ve been dyeing it for years." she’s not gonna exile you.

u/DomainOfDrama:

She: "I don't like blond guys."

You, with the most terminal case of guilt since Judas Iscariot: "I am a blond guy."

Buddy. Pal. King. She loves you.

u/urhairisvalid:

tell her before the guilt eats you alive and you start waking up at 3am whispering "I'm sorry... for being blonde." you're ok. you're still goth. and she's still gonna love you.

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UPDATE:

AITA for lying about my real hair color to my girlfriend? Posted by u/blondinblacktie 9 hours ago

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who commented. You all roasted me to hell and back and it worked. So here’s the update. Yes, it is ridiculous. Yes, I am still dramatic. Yes, I have survived.

Last night, we went on a date. Nothing fancy—just the two of us in my car, late at night, eating fries and nuggets, listening to our playlist. It was a good vibe and she was in a good mood.

I wanted to tell her straight out. I really did. But every time I opened my mouth, I felt like I was about to confess to tax fraud.

So what did I do? I brought up the kid topic again like a coward. I asked her“What if our kid has light hair?”

She just shrugged and went,“I don’t care. I just want them cute.”

AND I PANICKED. SO I JUST BLURTED EVERYTHING OUT.

I went full monologue mode, Shakespearean tragedy-level delivery. I told her my whole blond origin story—how my mom thought it’d darken but it never did, how I started dyeing it black the second I turned 14 and never looked back, how I’ve been hiding it all this time like it was a cursed family secret. I even showed her a childhood photo—flash on, hair glowing like the surface of the sun. I looked like a Victorian porcelain doll someone left out in the snow. I wanted the ground to open.

AND SHE JUST STARED AT IT.

Then she started LAUGHING. Like not a cute giggle, I mean full-on wheezing. She said, “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” and then“You thought I’d leave you over being a Disney prince?”

She thinks it’s adorable. She said I looked like a cursed child from a horror movie, which she found “kinda iconic.” She even made it her lockscreen so yeah all is well.

She also said she kinda had a vague suspicion because my roots sometimes looked “too good to be true” but figured it wasn’t a big deal.

So yeah. She didn’t break up with me. She kissed me and told me to relax and that maybe we can grow our kid into a goth no matter what color their hair is.

⇧ 17k 🡇 💬6k ⮳Share

Top comments:

u/mychemicalreblondance:

you gave her a jump scare baby photo and she made it her lockscreen. if that’s not love idk what is. y’all are adorable.

u/HairDyeIsMyTechnique:

i’m crying this whole post is like “I’ve hidden who I really am… this is me… I’m blonde.” congrats king. you’re still goth. we forgive you. 🖤

u/SatoruOnMain:

This is the first time I’ve seen someone confess their natural hair color like it was a felony and come out more loved at the end. Good for you. Now go retouch your roots, drama king.

u/4EyedFeralPrince:

SHE MADE THE PHOTO HER LOCKSCREEN?? you’ve got a real one man. marry her and dye your future kid’s hair black at 3 months.

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AN: So I just got into American Horror Story and MY LORD??? Evan Peters??? Tate Langdon???? <bark bark>

Also… my first Nanami post?? Who would’ve thought???

Desperate | P.SH

pairing: bf!hoon x fem!reader

genre: established relationship au, explicit content (mdni)

warnings: lots of fluff in the beginning, making out, smut, dubcon/noncon, unprotected sex (a big no), pulling out (please just use protection instead), nicknames (baby, doll, slut, etc.), bondage (handcuffs), oral (f!rec), clit biting, fingering, oversensitiveness, multiple orgasms, cum eating, creampie, clit pinching, pussy slapping, backshots, doggy (yes backshots and doggy aren't the same), reverse cowgirl, mating press, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, breeding kink, passing out, basic aftercare, mentions of further aftercare, let me know if i missed any!

word count: 4.3k

The benefits of having Sunghoon as a bf were many, the most prominent one being that he wasn’t very demanding.

Most of your previous boyfriends always wanted something or the other. Whether it be sex or simply your attention, they needed it. All the time.

Sunghoon on the other hand? He didn’t pester you for either. At least not often.

The two of you first met at a party that had been hosted by a mutual friend of you both. Both of you had been drinking in a random corner by yourselves, before he struck up conversation. Under the influence of alcohol, the simple conversation had escalated to something more, a passionate night filled with the interlocking of hands and lips, sweat and saliva mixing together, your bodies intertwining with each other’s. He had asked for your number the next day, asking you to hang out sometime. You agreed.

The hangout soon turned into a date, one date turning to two, and so on. Soon both of you were out of college, looking for jobs. The plus point of being excellent at academics was that it didn’t take both of you much time to land one.

Your jobs required you both to work nine to five, which neither of you minded since it was something both of you enjoyed doing.

The only problem? Both of you barely had time for each other.

Fights weren’t uncommon during the first month of both of your jobs, leading you both to sleep in separate rooms way too often. It was only after your boyfriend randomly surprised you with a date night on a weekend, both of you stopped fighting. Needless to say, that night was once again filled with the raw passion that was present when you guys first met. So yea, a big ‘fuck you’ to whoever said make up sex wasn’t good.

Sunghoon was a good boyfriend, really. He hardly ever bothered you, except for the occasional sex. Which, by the way, was valid, given that neither of you got to spend much time with each other, other than the times when you both got intimate. What is the problem then?

Well, there isn’t much of a problem exactly– other than the fact that you feel extremely fucking guilty.

It wasn’t exactly your fault that you couldn’t give your boyfriend enough of your time and attention. Your job required you to work overtime now-a-days, sometimes even having you work on weekends. You barely got time for yourself, always coming home late, too tired to even walk properly. It wasn’t your fault that you barely had any energy left in you, your simple ‘no’s always coming out breathy, that’s how tired you usually were.

Initially, he accepted it. He was super sweet about it too, massaging your shoulders and the expanse of your back, rubbing softly to loosen the knots in it. He would prepare a warm bath for you, filled to the brim with bubbles. He would cuddle you to sleep, pressing gentle kisses all over your face. He would even prepare breakfast for you, serving it in bed. 

Now? Now the situation is extremely different.

You see, despite being understanding of your tiredness, a man also has his needs. One can only hold out for so long. Any man is bound to get tired of the constant rejection of intimacy with their lover. And Sunghoon is also a man at the end of the day.

If the same thing continued, he would have no choice but to seek intimacy elsewhere.

But Sunghoon loved you too much for that.

It was around 12:51 am on a Wednesday, you had just arrived home. The house was– extremely quiet. That’s strange. Sunghoon usually came to greet you when you came home, taking your bag out of your hand and slipping the coat off your shoulder. Where was he?

As if hearing your thoughts, your boyfriend came out of the direction of your shared bedroom. He smiled at you, quickly walking over and grabbing the bag out of your hand. He kissed the top of your head, slipping the coat off your shoulders and helping you take off your shoes. He held your waist, guiding you towards the bathroom. “I’m sorry for not greeting you immediately baby, I was preparing something for you.”

You looked at him with surprise, your tiredness momentarily forgotten. “A surprise?”

Sunghoon smiled at you. “Yes doll, a surprise. Go take a shower, then I’ll show it to you.”

You gave a small smile to him, nodding, entering the bathroom, having failed to notice the subtle smirk on his face.

You took your sweet time showering, making sure to feel as relaxed as possible, before going to bed. Once you were done, you wrapped a bathrobe around yourself, using a towel to dry your hair as much as possible, before walking out of the bathroom.

Surprisingly, Sunghoon was waiting for you outside. He smiled at you, before extending his arm towards you. Although you were a little confused by his actions, you extended your arm towards him as well, holding his hand. He pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around your waist, before kissing your forehead. He then kissed your nose, your cheeks, and finally your lips. You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, before breaking the kiss gently. You stared at his eyes, smiling softly. “What’s with the sudden affection?”

Your boyfriend nudged your nose with his own. “Nothing, I just missed you.”

You laughed softly. “Missed me? But you saw me this morning itself.”

He pouted slightly. “That isn’t enough. I need you by my side 24/7 darling.”

You smiled, pecking his lips. “Well, you have me now, all to yourself, don’t you?”

He nodded, smiling. “That I do. Come to our bedroom baby, let me show you the surprise I told you about.”

Your breath caught in your throat, once Sunghoon took his hands off your eyes. You had never seen your bedroom look anything like– like this.

There were rose petals randomly strewn all across the floor, the lights turned off. The only source of light being the innumerous scented candles all around the room. Your shared bed had a large heart of rose petals in the middle of it, with petals of white roses spelling out ‘I love you’ inside the heart. It was the most romantic gesture your boyfriend had ever done.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing his lips next to your ear. “Do you like it baby?”

You turned your face to the side, quickly pecking him on the lips. “I love it. So very much.”

He smiled, nuzzling his face into your neck, before planting soft kisses all over it. “Let me take care of you baby.”

You bit your lip. It's not that you don't appreciate his efforts to have an intimate time with you, it's just that you didn't have the energy for that. You could already feel your eyelids starting to droop from the tiredness, your legs were sore from walking. All you wanted right now was to cuddle in your lover’s arms and fall asleep. “I'm sorry baby, I'm really tired right now. Can we just cuddle instead?”

For the second time this night, Sunghoon surprised you. Usually, when you denied him, he would immediately relent and take you to bed, spooning you and cuddling with you, making sure that you get a good night's sleep. Today however, he simply wrapped his arms around your waist tighter, his soft kisses on your neck becoming wetter and hotter, open mouthed kisses, ones that had you stifling a moan. “You say that everyday baby.”

You gulped, trying hard to swallow down the moans that were induced by his unrelenting assault on your neck, barely able to utter a word. “I– I know babe– but I'm just r– really tired–”

He ignored your words, biting down on your neck and sucking it harshly, trying to leave as many hickies as possible. You were unbelievably tired, but that didn't mean his actions weren't making you feel good. But you couldn’t let him know that, or he would take it as a sign to continue.

“H– Hoonie please, I’m so tired–”

With one swift motion, your boyfriend undid your bathrobe, quickly spinning you around and smashing his lips on yours, muffling your gasp. He ignored the way you tried to hit his shoulders to push him off, holding the back of your head in one hand to push your face towards him, trying to deepen the kiss. He held your waist tightly in the other, his thumb kneading the flesh there.

Sunghoon brought both of his hands down to your hips, lifting you, forcing you to wrap both your arms and legs around him. He quickly carried you to the bed, setting you down on it. Without breaking the kiss, he leaned your body back slightly, using one hand to roughly shove the beautiful heart that he had spent hours making, using a bunch of red and white roses, away, out of the way. He pushed you down onto the bed, quickly using his hands to tightly pin your own protesting ones above your head. He used his knees to shove your legs apart, settling down in between them.

You continued to protest weakly, your body too tired to handle him. It was starting to frustrate him with how much you were struggling against his hold. He briefly broke the kiss to glare down at you. “Why won’t you keep still? I told you I would take care of you, didn’t I? Why are you making this difficult for the both of us?”

Your eyes were glazed with unshed tears, your entire body sore from how hard you had been working the entire day, and how much you had been struggling against him for the past few minutes. “I’m too tired for this baby– can’t we please do it some other time?”

He rolled his eyes, before snapping at you. “Too tired? Isn’t that what you have been saying for the past two months? I have waited a long time for you, haven’t I? How long do you plan on leaving me like this? Do I not have needs? If you won’t satisfy them, who else will?”

Your lower lip trembled from his harsh tone, trying your hardest to not break down. You replied in a shaky voice. “Baby, you have to understand that my job has been extremely demanding for the past two months– it’s hard for me to not be tired, my love–”

Your boyfriend had enough of your excuses, quickly leaning towards the nightstand, fumbling about in the drawer. He produced a pair of handcuffs from it, causing your eyes to widen, your struggle against him increasing.

But tonight there was no escape for you. Sunghoon was desperate to be close with you today, causing him to quickly cuff your hands to the bed posts. Your tears had broken free, as you desperately tried to break free from the cuffs, pleading with him desperately to spare you for the night.

Your boyfriend held your hips down tightly, preventing you from moving too much. He once again smashed his lips on yours, silencing your pleas.

His kisses traveled south, leaving hickeys all over your jaw, neck, shoulders– trailing down to your chest and stomach. His lips ghosted over your pussy, blowing air on it, causing you to whimper and clench around nothing.

Your struggle against him increased two-fold, causing him to hold your hips down with both hands. He kissed your inner thighs, before biting them, harshly sucking the bitten area to leave more hickeys, before finally deciding to give attention to your pussy. Even if he desperately wanted to fuck you into the next week, he still loved and cared about you, and wanted to make you feel better, despite his actions suggesting otherwise.

He kissed your folds, before licking a stripe upwards, causing a whine to escape you. He smirked, before repeating his actions. “I thought you didn't want this, princess? Why are you so wet?”

More slick gushed out of your exposed hole at his words, your pussy clenching around nothing. You gave up on fighting back, realizing it was of no use right now. Sunghoon chuckled, realizing your resignation, the sound vibrating through your cunt. He circled your clit with his tongue, causing you to whine, trying to close your legs. He held your legs down tightly with both hands, preventing you from moving too much.

Without warning, he harshly bit your clit, causing a choked scream to escape you. The scream turned into whimpers and moans, as he flattened his tongue over your clit, before sucking it. He gave your clit a kiss, before sucking over your slit, slurping down the slick like his favorite drink. You whined at the loud, wet, lewd slurping noises that were filling up the room, your boyfriend paying no attention to your sounds.

Abruptly, he thrust his tongue inside, causing you to cry out. He kept thrusting his tongue as deep inside as he could reach, causing loud moans to escape you, filling up the entire room.

He kept alternating between sucking your clit and thrusting his tongue inside your hole, as if unable to decide which one to give more attention to. His dilemma however, was quickly solved, once he shoved two digits inside your cunt, his long and slender fingers dragging across your walls, giving attention to every nook and cranny of your pussy. Your moans increased, spurring him on greatly.

You could feel the band in your stomach tighten, signaling your impending orgasm. Sunghoon could tell you were close, judging by the change of pitch of your voice. The speed of his movements increased two-fold, his fingers curling up every time to hit your spot, causing you to see stars.

With one final cry of his name, you came undone, cumming all over his fingers and the lower half of his face. He came up, giving you the perfect view of his drenched face, causing heat to creep up your neck. He leaned upwards to engage you in a messy lip lock, exchanging saliva with you, the taste of your slick prominent in his mouth. He broke the kiss. “Feel any better, doll?”

You exhaled, your chest rising up and down as you took slow and steady breaths. Even if you were tired beyond comprehension, you couldn't deny that he made you extremely good, way better than how you usually felt at night. “I do. Thanks to you.”

Now, don't get him wrong, your boyfriend was extremely happy he could make you feel slightly better. But clearly, he could do way better, since you were still able to form a comprehensive sentence. Which is why, he immediately got to work to make you feel even better.

Sunghoon went down again, once again attaching his lips on your pussy. You cried out, whimpering and thrashing around from the oversensitiveness. Once again, he held you down by your legs to prevent you from moving too much. He harshly sucked on your clit, quickly thrusting three fingers deep inside your pussy. He slowly, deliberately dragged his fingers across your walls, making you whimper and thrash in his hold, the sensations starting to completely fog your brain.

He flicked your clit with his tongue, before swirling it around the bundle of nerves. He curled his fingers, hitting your spot, causing you to cry out. He increased his pace, thrusting his fingers in and out quickly, curling them every time to hit your g-spot. The band in your stomach tightened once again, your vision starting to blur. The band finally snapped, causing you to arch your back, your head thrown back, mouth open in a silent scream. Your orgasm crashed over you, your boyfriend quickly slurping up everything, not letting a single drop go to waste.

He leaned up, looking at your face. Your pupils were blown out, eyes hooded, your chest heaving slightly, as you tried to catch your breath. The sight of you lying there in that state was his last straw, as he quickly leaned down to engage you in a messy lip lock. Without breaking the kiss, he made quick work of his shirt, unbuttoning it and throwing it somewhere in the room. He did the same with his pants, before breaking the kiss.

Your boyfriend reached out above your head, uncuffing your hands. Sensing no struggle from your side, he placed a small peck on your lips, before manhandling you onto your stomach. You could barely balance yourself, your entire body, especially your legs feeling extremely sore. Sunghoon grabbed your hips, pulling your ass up. He spread your legs apart, holding your hips tightly. He aligned himself with your entrance, his cock standing tall and angry, his tip a violent red, leaking with precum. He slowly pushed his tip inside, both of you moaning in unison, before he buried his entire length to the hilt, bottoming out.

Sunghoon swore that he was in heaven. A month without your pussy was pure torture, his hand was nothing compared to your beautiful cunt. The way your pussy was sucking him in right now? He was damn sure you missed him the same way he missed you, or at least your pussy did.

He pulled out almost completely, leaving only the tip inside, before slamming his entire length inside, his balls slapping against your clit. You whimpered at the sensation, your head buried into the pillows, the sound coming out muffled. He kept repeating the same process, making sure to drag his cock against your walls, the tip repeatedly hitting your cervix. Your whines turned into mewls, as you tried to fuck yourself back onto his length. Your boyfriend chuckled at the sight, giving your ass a nice slap, watching it jiggle. He repeatedly smacked your ass, watching it jiggle and turn red. His spanking turned you on even more if possible, your back arching, slick starting to seep around his cock and make a wet puddle underneath them, onto the sheets. He gave your ass one last spank, before leaning towards you, his chest almost pressed to your back. He whispered in your ear. “Getting wet from a few spanks, baby? Didn't know you were this much of a whore. Making such a big mess on the sheets…”

You whined, your sweet little cunt clenching around his length deliciously, causing a groan to escape him. He gritted his teeth, before leaning back up. He gripped your hips tightly, before pistoning his hips into yours without mercy, giving you barely anytime to adjust properly. Not that you needed it, he thought, with the amount of slick that was gushing around his length.

His heavy balls continued to smack against your clit with every thrust, stimulating it. You whined, pushing your ass towards him slightly, trying to get more pressure on your clit. He noticed what you were trying to do, bringing a hand down to your clit, harshly rubbing it. You let out a choked gasp at the sudden pleasure, your mind starting to cloud from the overwhelming sensation. The way his cock kept drilling into your pussy, hitting your cervix every time, along with the way he was rubbing your clit, your orgasm wasn't going to take very long.

For the third time that night, a familiar sensation built up in your stomach, causing you to clench around him tightly. Before you could warn him, you had already come all around his length, causing a white ring to form around his base. Your boyfriend groaned at the sight, fastening his pace. Once he felt his orgasm starting to near, he spoke hurriedly. “I'm near baby– Where do you want it?”

Your mind was starting to go into overdrive, but you still heard him somehow. In a shaky voice, you answered. “I-Inside–”

He groaned, before quickly pulling out, causing you to cry out at the empty feeling. He ignored you, using his hand to jerk off, before spilling his load all over your ass cheeks. He put both hands on the side of your hips, using his thumbs to spread his cum over all your ass, admiring it. He landed a slap on it. “Stupid slut, did you really think your pussy deserves my cum? After you made me wait for two whole months?”

You whimpered, the degradation going straight to your cunt, causing you to clench around nothing, a sight that did not go unnoticed by him. He landed another slap on your ass. “Such a whore, of course you get turned on by this.”

You let out a muffled whine, clenching your thighs. He bit back a groan, his cock still very much hard and leaking. He grabbed your hips, pulling your ass up again, once again aligning himself with your entrance. He pushed inside, immediately bottoming out. He gave you no time to adjust, immediately slamming his hips into yours, cockhead repeatedly brushing against your cervix. His grip on your hips was so tight, it was surely going to leave bruises, but neither of you cared about that. Not when he felt so good inside you, repeatedly hitting that spongy part of your walls, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

He suddenly wrapped a hand around your waist, pulling your body upright, your back flush against his chest. The new position gave him a better angle, cock almost bruising your cervix with the amount of force that he was using to drill into your pussy. His other hand reached down to your clit, pinching and rubbing it, rolling the hardened nub in his fingers. Your moans turned into pleasure filled screams, as he slapped your pussy multiple times. With one last slap, you spilled all over him once again, a white ring forming on the base of his cock.

Your orgasm triggered his own, as he sheathed himself deep inside you, shooting rope after rope of hot cum inside your awaiting pussy, making you moan at the sensation. He kept chanting curses, before he finally stopped cumming.

Your boyfriend slowly pulled out, watching the mixture of both of your cums dripping out of your pussy, into the sheets. He groaned at the sight. “Look at you baby, such a pretty little cum dump for me.”

Your face was shoved into the pillows, your brain not registering his words, as you tried to catch your breath. He slowly turned you around, looking at your fucked out face. He scooped the cum that was dripping out of your pussy, pushing it back in, causing a weak whine of protest coming from you, as you felt too sensitive.

He ignored you, focusing on trying to keep the cum inside. It was useless, the sticky amalgamation continuing to drip out. Frustrated, he grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to him. He once again aligned himself with your entrance, using his cock to try and fuck the cum back inside. Your legs twitched a bit in protest, but it soon died down because of how firmly he held your legs down.

He increased his pace, balls smacking against your ass with each thrust, his mind solely focused on pushing the cum back in. He picked up your leg, throwing it over his shoulder, before doing the same with the other. The new angle allowed him to hit deeper, his cock drilling deep inside your pussy, fucking the cum inside. He nearly folded your body in half, cockhead almost piercing through your cervix, pushing the cum impossibly inside, into your womb. You whimpered at the feeling, both your body and voice too sore to protest.

He groaned at your state, picking up his pace. He felt a little too good, no longer caring about your comfort anymore. He kept blabbering to you, his words ranging from sweet nothings to the most vulgar nonsense.

“Looking so cute like this, taking me like a good little slut–”

“My personal cocksleeve, made to be mine and mine only–”

“God you're so beautiful– taking me so well–”

“Gonna knock this slutty pussy up, gonna make sure everyone knows you're mine–”

“Would look so pretty carrying my babies– gonna wife you up too–”

His words caused your brain to short circuit. Your back arched, your mouth open in a silent moan. Your mind turned foggy, vision going white, ears ringing loudly, as a familiar, yet unfamiliar sensation built up in your stomach. Your orgasm crashed over you in tidal waves. You didn't stop cumming, your squirt splashing all over his thighs and abdomen.

He groaned at the sight, his own orgasm getting triggered by yours. He sheathed himself deep inside your pussy, head thrown back, jaw going lax. He kept on shooting load after load of cum inside you. He didn't think he ever came that much, your pussy milking him for all he was worth.

He kept coming till he was spent. He pulled out, his cock starting to physically hurt from how sensitive it was. He laid down beside you, chest heaving in exertion.

Your mind kept flickering between being conscious and then unconscious. In your hazy state, you felt Sunghoon wipe your pussy and the rest of your body with wet tissues, before you felt him whisper a faint ‘We should take a bath.’

You felt him pick you up, bridal style, before your vision went completely black.

sim jaeyun — brighter days inc.

— “you’ll wait for my love? “i waited for your love.”

pairing. fem!reader x sim jaeyun.

warnings. angst, my heaviest angst post yet tbh, fluff moments here & there, layla !!, lots of miscommunication, lots of crying and panicking moments, no happy ending :(

word count. 12.3k

synopsis. just how bad was the punishment of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

— a, note. i apologise in advance for this, i would like to point out that this was completely and fully inspired by the we can’t be friends music video along with the entire eternal sunshine album by ariana !! i only added minor details & scenes here and there but hope u enjoy ! <3 p.s !! this whole post is viewed better in dark mode !!

「 just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. 」

The soft fabric of your shirt soothed your trembling fingers, gentle wind breezing past you once the bell of the door jingled ahead of you, indicating the arrival of another patient wretched with agony and their own pain.

Your vision danced between the walls, the countless photos that hung on the brick pillars claiming a guaranteed peace of mind with the eye catching and loud titles of “brighter days ahead!”, different posters inked with the participants’ positive reviews towards the operation that haunted the patients whom were anxiously sat next to you, some wiping their tears while others gazed hopelessly into the wooden floors, their legs shaking up and down the longer the nurse took to call their names.

You pulled your jacket closer to your chest, in hopes of it protecting you from the words printed onto the paper in front of you, you had read the sentences over a hundred times by now yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully accept them.

You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give “Brighter Days Inc.” the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory:

— ☐ yes | ☐ no

Closing your eyes multiple times while chanting “please let me wake up” was deemed futile, you couldn’t bring yourself to face the reality of the situation you had put yourself in. Though you had your reasons, countless of them. You had every right to sit in the waiting room for this clinic, yet you still couldn’t gather up the courage to fully accept the weight of the truth.

The great weight of the truth that weighed heavily on your shoulders, you knew this was the correct decision. You knew you weren’t physically affecting anyone by doing this, you practically weren’t going to hurt after this, yet your actions still hurt the present you, the one who was able to sense a thin veil of tears forming along her waterline for the nth time since you stepped foot into this clinic.

And you were doing this to save her from the pain, from the heartbreak you had been suffering through. The harsh wood of the board felt hurtful against your skin, the piece of wood agonisingly heavy atop your fingertips, your hand placed the pen in your lap before it instinctively moved towards your neck, caressing the special pine cone necklace that adorned your chest.

The feeling of the pendant beneath your touch felt gut wrenching, your whole being freezing as the sudden sharp edges grazed your skin, the pendant that held so many great memories to you that you hoped would comfort you for the last time felt like the thorns of a rose splitting your fingertips.

It was the sudden sharp dig of the edge of the pine that reminded you of a precious memory, one of the most special days in your life when your two favourite people walked into it.

Your foot sunk deeply into the snow beneath you, the wind a cold breeze blowing against your blushed face, your nose a distinct red shade as you sniffed due to the cold weather, hands digging further into your warm pockets to allow the blood to rush back to your frozen fingertips.

The breath turned into a glowing mist ahead of your eyes as it tumbled past your lips, you smiled softly at the sound of your best friend announcing her departure to collect more wood for the fireplace the two of you had wanted to create, you turned your head to the side to locate her small figure slowly disappearing into the slight fog that started to form a few minutes before the two of you had arrived to the small forest.

You took notice of how heavy the snow was, the ground a vast white that glittered with the sunrays, the sudden urge to lay on the floor that appeared as faux clouds and cotton overcame your senses and before you could rethink your decisions, you were already surrounded by the comforting cold of the snow hugging your every limb and every inch of your body.

Memories of your childhood flashed through your eyes, the happy moments that were filled with laughter exchanged between you and your friend as the two of you made snow angels, joyful giggles flew in the air around you once you both stood up to compare the shapes to one another and chuckle at the ridiculous outcomes.

Before you could fully indulge yourself in the memory, you felt a foreign object pressing against your foot, your eyes shot downwards to the sight of a dark circular item— a pine cone?

Your heartbeat unexpectedly picked up its pace, was there someone around? You weren’t in an area that had pine trees around them, they were atleast a few miles away from you.

Loud rustling reached your ears from ahead, what sounded like a person quickly walking— in an abnormally fast way that made you prepare yourself for the appearance of any random person, your senses heightening at the possible danger awaiting, the shadow slowly appeared in front of the fog, a really short one that confused you.

Once the mist finally had dispersed, revealing the last outcome you had been expecting— an adorable puppy that jumped its way through the snow, you stared at the shimmering fur that had gotten covered with small bits of the sparkling snow, the puppy barked at you in excitement, their tail swaying behind them in the snow while their shining eyes studied your face.

Your hands held onto the pine cone, a smile stretching out on your face once you noticed that the puppy was waiting for you to return the item, sitting in front of you patiently in a well behaved manner, a clear indication of how attentive and careful their owner is.

“Is this yours, hm?” You questioned, voice playful and low in fear of possibly disturbing the overly excited puppy who only barked in delight at your question, and as your hand was reaching forward to return the beloved pine cone, you and the sweet puppy’s ears picked up the distressed yells a large distance away.

The puppy turned its body towards the direction it came from, breathing the cold air in before barking countless times as if to signal their location and on cue the rushed footsteps that dug into the snow approached your figures closer.

“There you are, Layla.” A young boy appeared from between the twinkling mist, his features sharp and eye catching the closer he walked towards both of you, a charming smile etching its way onto his chiseled face at the sight of his beloved dog, “I was getting worried, pretty girl.” He breathed out in relief before finally noticing your presence.

His back suddenly straightened, shoulders pulling back while his eyes widened before the prettiest pink you’ve ever seen dusted his ears and cheeks, “oh hi.” He breathed out shyly, he could feel his heartbeat drumming in his ears as the last thing he was expecting to find Layla next to was a gorgeous girl.

You couldn’t help the quickened thump of your own heart either, the appearance of this young guy that was clad in a large dark coat, black pants along with a matching hat that revealed small peaks of his dark brown hair had your mind reeling, he was undeniably handsome.

“hello.” You whispered back, instinctively holding the pine cone towards your chest as holding eye contact with the beautiful man only made your body buzz further with excitement and nervousness, the guy also losing his internal battle with the possibility of facing you as his eyes had only been following his dog’s moving tail in hopes of calming his own nerves down.

The said puppy’s gaze danced between her owner and the new friend, unfamiliar with her owner’s sudden shy side appearing in front of a potential friend making her suspicions arise, and the moment she was about to bark in the direction of her owner once again, the guy spoke out.

“Did she tackle you onto the floor?” He asked, tone laced with concern at the realisation of your position on the snow while you held the pine cone in your hand, “no!” You quickly denied once you lifted your head and saw his worried expression, thousands of apologies disappeared from his tongue at your words and he couldn’t help but breathe another sigh of relief, “I’m actually making… snow angels.” Your voice had dropped a few octaves towards the end.

Quieting your own words to hide them from the handsome guy that you prayed wouldn’t make fun of you for your childish behaviour from your first ever encounter, you were preparing yourself for the worst reaction to slap you across the face and for his laughter to reach your ears yet— “oh I love snow angels!” His excited voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You turned to face him again, to see the genuine excitement and fondness lacing his face before patting the snow next to you, a warm smile gracing your features that made the unknown boy’s heart to leap in his chest, “come join me!”

The loud ring of the bell harshly pulled you out of the sweet memory into the reality you had been dreading, all of your senses returning to the present made a sinking feeling take over your heart, by the time you leave this place you won’t be able to remember this precious memory.

Your hand instinctively wrapped around the pine cone, in attempt to protect and shield it from the possibility of disappearing, the idea of one of the most precious days of your life dissipating from your memory lane made your shoulders sink further, the anxious feeling of pure unease settled deeply into your bones, and before you were able to prepare yourself further, you felt your throat closing up.

And as if your own body had turned its back towards you, your gaze had shifted beneath the cursed words to the bottom of the paper, where a clear and bold line awaited your pen to grace upon it.

signature: ________

Your vision then travelled towards the boxes, the finality of your decision settling into your limbs when your hand finally moved from your necklace to hold onto the pen again, and with a heavy heart along with a new veil of tears aligning your eyes, you finally allowed the first drop of ink to land on the paper.

☒ yes | ☐ no

The wind around you turned colder, it felt as if the breeze was scolding you for such decisions, the guilt by now had started to eat you up alive, tainting your brain and choking you up on your own unshed tears, you tried to breathe in deeply, attempting to calm your heaving chest down as with each passing second you felt your lungs constricting further.

“Miss, are you ready?” The nurse had suddenly appeared next to you, caring and worried eyes scanning your shaky figure on the seat, knuckles white around the wooden board that held your signature and confirmation for the procedure, your head lowered in shame of the sight of your tears being revealed, though all the hurt was evident in your body language.

“This way, miss.” She quickly guided you towards the office, your hand reached out to carry the box next to you, the cardboard that contained all of your memories that were stuffed into items, her hand reached out to hold the trembling board from your weak one while the other hovered around your lower back, bringing an odd sense of comfort for you as your feet walked you towards your own heartbreak.

The walls of the office appeared cold to the touch, the solid floor beneath you brought the aura of seriousness for you, almost as if awakening you from your hurtful thoughts to the reality of the situation, there was no turning back now. Then with each step that you took towards the chair, memories of this morning took over your mind.

Layla, your precious puppy sat ahead of your crouched figure in front of the bed, you sat atop the mattress that felt so unwelcoming, so foreign to you, as if you hadn’t slept multiple times between the same sheets with your love before.

Your puppy was cautious, big shining eyes studying every tear drop that ascended down the curve of your cheekbone, her own body slouching with each sob that wrecked through your body, “I’m sorry.” The yellow light from your bedside table casted a soft glow on both of your small figures, Layla reached towards you, one of her paws landing besides you on the bed as she lifted herself up while the other was placed gently against your leg.

“I can’t continue staying here, baby.” You explained to her, with each break in your voice her ears dropped lower, the sadness and confusion evident all over her adorable face, long gone was the look of excitement and pure love that painted her face whenever she saw you, as if she was able to understand your words she pushed her fluffy body towards you more.

“I can’t be with you, or jaeyun anymore.” You whispered, sweaty and cold palms reached out towards her small face, her golden fur comforting you as it brushed against your skin, you allowed her loving presence to curtain over the overwhelming sense of fright that your stomach was unable to digest, her familiar scent coating your senses bringing a feeling of ease into your panicked state.

“I love you so much.” You whispered to your little cupid, the one who had brought you together with your first true love. The one who had unknowingly brought so much happiness and joy to your dull life with her and her father’s presence.

“Are you ready, miss?” The doctor called out, dragging you out from the reality that only existed in your head now, a cloud of doom now hovered above your head as there was no space to return back to, this was it. That was your last time with Layla, ever.

The pill of the reminder suddenly seemed to large to swallow, the thought of an eternal separation from your beloved little cupid felt agonising to you, the tightening in your chest worsened, your fingers dug into your own palm to cause the tiniest bit of satisfaction when the pain travelled throughout your nerves, you deserved this.

You had known this was the correct decision a long time ago, this was the only way you had been able to save yourself but god how could you be so selfish at the same time? How could you leave two very important people behind you and live in eternal bliss? You heart began to thunder against your ribs, each thump begging you to return, to turn back on your footsteps and go back home.

To return to your love, to your small family, to endure the pain and the sting of the knowledge that jaeyun would never view you the way you had done.

To return to your angel, the one who sat by the door with her tail swaying behind her excitedly at the sight of the door opening, in hopes of a possible walk with her best friend, then her tail suddenly paused atop the wooden floor while her pointy and excited ears dropped, breaking your heart when you crouched down to kiss her head for the final time, in hopes of your feelings conveying to her through the loving contact, atleast for the last time.

You knew the love you held for him had to be dissipated. Though the pure, innocent adoration and devotion your heart carried for him didn’t deserve to be gone. Yet it wasn’t worth putting Jaeyun through possible pain and suffering.

If only you had known from the start that this was the consequence of your actions of inviting Jaeyun to create snow angels with you on that morning would lead you to the punishment of falling in love with Jaeyun, you would’ve never stepped foot into the snow that day.

The doctor held your hand gently, his eyes held nothing but sympathy and pity for you, your fingers pale and shaky in his hold as he placed the small device on your index finger, the pulse reader instantly showing your quickened heartbeat on the screen, “the procedure is going to be a quick and painless one…” the doctor’s words echoed throughout your eardrums, each word drifting off from one ear to the other as your vision was stuck on the numbers constantly picking up.

As if a chain had been tightened around your neck, your throat closed up further, you suppressed every sob that threatened to escape from you, your feet had gotten numb on the chair at some point while you shut your eyes with reassuring words replaying in your head in attempts to soothe yourself, yet each one was being repeated atop of an image of a smiling jaeyun behind your closed eyes.

The nurse behind you had brought the two iron pieces closer to your temples, each one glowing with a red light, indicating the disconnection while they approached your skin, and once both pieces were attached to you as if they were pieces of magnets, your heart only sunk further in your body.

The doctor exchanged incoherent words with the nurse that your ears weren’t able to comprehend, your senses only picking up the constant beeping of the monitor, each beat picked up its speed, symbolising how your heart was beating rapidly at the thought of your one and only love, at the thought of losing him entirely in less than a few minutes.

Your eyes then landed on the screen besides you, blue lights blinding your sight as you took in the multiple tabs open on the screen with “generating link” as the largest one, the percentage increased quickly, each number made your breath turn shorter as the gravity was finally settling in, the small sting that you felt on the sides of your head was incomparable to the ache of your heart, still filled with so much useless hope after all these months.

“Are you ready?” The doctor asked, a consoling smile etched onto his features, you nodded quickly, eager to get the procedure done with now before your weak heart convinced you to run outside of this clinic and into the arms of the man you fell in love with.

“Alright then.. we should be starting…” the doctor’s voice slowly disappeared, his words gradually faded away from you as your eyes remained shut while the machine forced you to a trip down your beloved memory lane, your memory path that was dedicated for sim jaeyun only.

The first memory you had shared with him after your first encounter played in front of your closed eyes, you remembered this one in a crystal clear way, the sight of you and Jaeyun walking hand in hand was imprinted onto the back of your eyelids, the familiar sight making your heart jump into your throat.

“I’m gonna win you the teddy bear!” Jaeyun shouted excitedly as he walked, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle while he made his way through the crowd in the carnival, rushing towards the claw machine quickly, bumping into random people every few seconds making you laugh at his enthusiasm, unaware of jaeyun’s heart thundering in his chest at the sound of your laughter.

“You really don’t have to, Jake.” You rushed besides him and the second the baby blue and pink lights of the machine landed on your smiling face he felt his breath hitching in his throat, your shining eyes presenting as windows to your excitement and pure joy you felt besides him made his heart leap in his chest, “but i want to.” he breathed out gently, mesmerised besides your distracted frame.

your eyes studied the glass window curiously, jaeyun was confused as to why he could tell exactly when your eyes landed on the teddy bear he mentioned, confused as to why he was able to study all of your expressions so well so soon, to why they mattered and intrigued him so much, surely the fleeing thought of cradling your face gently into his arms was an intrusive one, and totally not because of his own feelings and urge to do so, right?

his hands reached out to push his coin into the slot before reaching towards the small handle, his fingers buzzed with excitement and anxiety, the need to win this teddy bear for you chanting throughout his mind as he lowered the claw onto the fluffy toy, and once the iron claws wrapped around the bear, your hand sneaked its way between both of your figures to lace with his fingers, a soft squeeze of encouragement that made the boy’s heart thump needily.

“You got it, jake!” you beamed from besides him, you quickly held the fluffy toy in your arms, hugging the precious teddy close to you, the sight making jake’s world slow down its rotation, his heart jumping into his throat as he took in the sight of your happy expression, your sweet and thankful words falling onto his ear before they travelled out the other, he was hypnotised, your happiness casting a spell on him effortlessly.

“Jaeyun..” he suddenly breathed out, snapping back into reality with a soft, loving smiling permanently etching its way onto his face, “hmm?” You questioned, moving your sparkling eyes from the toy to his handsome face, his sweet grin made rose dust along your cheeks, he reached out to hold your hand before he spoke out again, “call me jaeyun.”

“Okay, jaeyun.” You chuckled affectionately at him, one hand intertwined with his slender fingers while the other held the teddy close to your heart, “what are you going to name it?” His eyes dropped back onto the teddy, quickly switching the topic as his heart felt like it was on the verge of exploding the longer he drowned in the ocean of your eyes.

“Jakey.” You smiled at the sight of his eyes widening, eyebrows lifting as he audibly laughed, the sound ringing like melodies in your ears. The view of him blushing and laughing under the stars becoming your favourite in that instant as everything else around you blurred and your sole focus was on him and only him.

“Let’s take you and Jakey to the ferris wheel then.” He joked before walking towards the said ride, fingers still laced with yours as he pulled your shy figure gently to follow him throughout the crowd.

And suddenly with a mere blink you were stuck in the middle of moving bodies, one hand unbearably cold while the other held onto a teddy, confusion laced your expression as the lights of the ferris wheel glowed ahead of you, why were you here in the first place?

Just like that, Jaeyun disappeared from a precious memory that belonged to you.

Your surroundings in front of the ferris wheel darkened, a small circle of light engulfing you before your dissociated out from the memory, you had your eyes closed shut, not daring to open them when all you could hear was the murmurs of the doctor and the nurse confirming the removal in the first memory.

All you could detect was the consistent sinking and pain aching in your heart, the dizziness in your head as you altered your memories and forcefully removed the only person who you ever truly loved in your life, the agony from the thought so great that it allowed new streaks of tears to decorate your skin.

And as you let out another shaky breath, you were pushed into another memory.

The harsh breeze of the wind grazed jaeyun’s skin while his teeth chattered slightly at the icy stabs along his arms, he quickly moved from the sidewalk to the empty road that accompanied the ray of sunlight courtesy to the shorter buildings next to it.

His shoulders relaxed at the warmth that travelled his system, his fingers didn’t feel like they were about to fall off anymore the longer he kept them pushed into his pockets under the sun, he relished in the vast difference between the cold breeze and the warm sunlight, a weird sense of soothe scurrying into his mind.

The comparison was awfully familiar, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it reminded him of.

Nonetheless he continued walking, making the final turn that allowed the sight of his house to enter his line of vision, his insides buzzed with worry and excitement at seeing you again, your appearance always brought him solace especially when he walked into the view of you playing with Layla happily in the living room.

Yet whenever he remembered the position both of you were stuck in regarding your importance in his life, his mind got jumbled with negativity and worry again.

But he was determined that tonight was going to make a difference.

Especially with the apology he had spent days memorising, his finger brushed against the small box in his pocket that brought an unexpected but welcomed wave of positivity for him, it was the first time that he felt so confident in himself with something that involved both of you.

The slight graze of the velvet against his skin reminded him of the way your skin felt against his, the sunlight that glowed atop his honey skin beautifully reminded him of the warmth your love provided for him, oh how he adored you.

And there was jaeyun, finally walking towards his door with a pep in his step, his chest feeling ridiculously lighter while the blood rushed to his face at the thought of you in front of his eyes.

His shaky fingers wrapped around the handle before pushing the large piece of wood, layla instantly greeting him at the door with a welcoming woof of her own, making him smile widely.

“Hello my princess,” he spoke with a soft voice, kneeling down to pet her after closing the door behind him, all worrisome thoughts disappearing from his brain the second her soft fur nuzzled against his palms, he chuckled at all of her licks against his cheeks, turning his head as he giggled and unknowingly seeing your missing shoes on the floor.

Confusion wrapped around his head as a weird, unnerving emotion settled into his stomach, he quickly looked around the living room for any sight of you only to be left further confused since you hadn’t told him about leaving the house today.

“Is she not home?” He questioned layla, his glossy eyes returning to the puppy who visibly lost all of her enthusiasm, quieting down and only licking at his palm in hopes of bringing some sort of comfort to her owner the longer he desperately searched for any sign of you.

“It’s alright,” he walked towards the living room, a sudden wave of dizziness crawling its way to his conscious, he involuntarily closed his eyes at the unexpected pain while his feet quickly led him towards the couch with a worried layla trailing behind him, “she’ll come back.” He whispered, comforting himself while his hands reached to hold onto his head.

And before he could realise, he laid onto the soft fabric of his couch as a wave of sleep took over him while his consciousness drifted. Unbeknownst to him, that would’ve been the last time he would remember you.

「 i don’t wanna tip toe but i don’t wanna hide. 」

The doctor’s hands paced around his instruments panically, your soft sniffles ringing in both his and the nurse’s ears as their heart broke for the nth time that day at the sight of the memory on the screen of their computer, the memory that held an immense amount of pain as the only thing you could focus on in that moment was the view of jaeyun sitting down next to a random girl, his arm wrapped around her shoulders while she turned her head to the side to quickly peck his jaw.

“Is that not.. jake?” Your friend asked from besides you, her eyes widening at the sight of the guy who captured your heart huddled next to an unknown girl by a cafe’s window, the view inevitably catching your gaze too as your brain almost shut down at that moment.

“It is.” You whispered in confirmation, the cobbled stone beneath your feet glued you atop of it while your world slowed down, just like your first encounter— you felt everything around you slowly dissolve till your sole focus was on jaeyun with a random woman.

You friend thankfully picked up your irregular breathing, and she was sure if she had listened close enough she would’ve also been able to hear the sound of your heart shattering into countless pieces while your face was an open window to your emotions.

The feeling of your stomach sinking completely brought you back into reality, the situation was laughable really, just a few weeks ago he seemed too shy to even hold your hand yet here he was now with his arm around another woman.

He might’ve not been able to hold eye contact with you just a few weeks ago, but right now he was able to laugh at the top of his lungs at what looked like a joke the woman said.

“Let’s go.” Your friend sternly announced, holding your hand the second she noticed your eyes swelling up with tears and quickly pulled you to walk into a different alleyway while jaeyun slowly disappeared in the background, leaving the random woman to sit alone in your memory before you quickly tumbled into another one.

Your vision began to slowly clear, another memory opening up ahead of you as you felt yourself getting lost in your emotions regarding this whole procedure.

The aroma of the coffee was pungent in the living room, wafting through the air accompanied by the sweet scent of cinnamon, Layla’s sweet coos and quiet noises of approval and support kept you company and sane after witnessing the man your heart thrummed for wrapped up in the arms of another woman.

Due to the unending conflict and doubts eating away at your mind, resulting in a very upset you and a worried Layla to walk around the house to distract yourself, and the perfect distraction did you find when your feet dragged you into the kitchen.

“I guess it’s just me and you.” Expressing yourself to Layla had always been something that came very easily to you, she was your closest friend at the moment after all. Always by your side to comfort you whether it was by cuddling you with your tears landing like rain drops on her soft fur till you fell asleep or by urging you to play with her and get your mind off her dad.

And right as you were about to move the few pastries from the tray onto the plate on the counter, you and Layla’s ears picked up the familiar and dreadful sound of the door being opened, announcing Jake’s arrival with the loud creak of the wood once he pushed it forward.

As expected, the air that carried the dizzying scent of your pastry was suddenly filled with tension. As if each golden particle of the sweets that travelled through the air while carrying your love transformed into a harsh droplet of ice, the atmosphere further thickening uncomfortably when the boy walked inside of the kitchen to the sight of you in front of the counter with your puppy nuzzling to your leg.

“That smells amazing..” he muttered, feeling shy and small when faced with your stiff back, and he knew he deserved the treatment that you had for him, he knew that you had seen him with someone else. Yet he didn’t have the heart to even think about bringing up that conversation, deciding by his own that stuffing the confrontation into a small box and pushing it far away to a corner in his mind was for the best now.

“Thank you.” Your response was curt, almost monotone with the way you tried your best to not have whatever conversation between you two last longer, his presence alone was suffocating enough for you, you didn’t have the heart to face him.

And jaeyun of course noticed all of this, he noticed the way your back was still faced towards him. A clear and painfully obvious contrast from the way you used to greet him with a loving hug and sometimes even a sweet, shy kiss to his cheek if you were really in the mood for it. The memories of those adoring welcomes will always eat away at his conscience, a constant reminder of what he lost.

But was jaeyun going to ask you to talk with him so both of you could finally address the invisible tornado of unspoken emotions in the room? Of course no.

“I was wondering if you…” he trailed off, voice quiet and almost hesitant in approaching you, and his doubts began to gnaw at his heart when your shoulders tensed further, his anxiety made his tone even more jittery when he continued “want to spend some time with me..?” The final syllable was a mere whisper.

Jaeyun felt the distance between you both panicking, he’s never felt you so far away and unreachable for him even though he knew the reason but his fear of rejection and possible failure was overpowering his logical idea of actually hearing your side and confessing his own thoughts, deciding alone for both of you that the best approach to this situation was not acknowledging it in the first place.

“It snowed yesterday, you know.” He pushed his coldly sweaty hands into the pocket of his sweatpants, he could unwillingly hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his frame was apprehensive as he kept switching his weight from one foot to another while awaiting for your answer, fearful from you declining his offer before he even finished off, “so.. wanna make snow angels?”

He let himself loose, letting go from all of his previous uncertainty and revealing a sweet smile when you finally turned around to face him, a ghost of a grin on your features that never failed to set his chest on fire and make his mind reel, a simple “okay.” had jaeyun was over the moon.

Even if Jaeyun was undeserving of your acceptance to his offer, even if this whole action will have a returning moment that will bite you both deeply but in that specific second the need to be wrapped in each other’s warmth surpassed any other feeling you both could have thought of.

And after minutes of being avoidant, hours of steering away from the unavowed storm of words that needed to be exchanged between your two souls to hopefully ignite some sort of hope for your love, after a day full of your eternal bliss in ignorance where you two played into the parts of loving partners that you had formed in your head that was far, way too far from your reality.

You found yourself tangled beneath the satin sheets, clad in your love’s shirt while he laid on his side to face you, every element surrounding you in this current atmosphere was a very clear display of love, of intimacy and devotion that circled the two of you.

With every intrusive thought of just how many times he’s been in this exact position with another woman that you pushed into the back of your head, your grip on his fingers tightened, it was almost driving you insane. The uncertainty and insecurity in your placement in his life was so evident for jaeyun in your actions, and it made his heart ache.

Further proving that he’s not the one for you, because of his undying need to comfort you and whisper his love for you in your ears to wash away all the bad voices in your head that were pushing you to believe that you were the complete opposite of what he saw.

Someone who deserved the utmost love the entire universe could be able to forge and give.

And out of nowhere, the forbidden three words craved their way onto his tongue, jaeyun’s heart leaped into his throat with the suddenly controlling urge to declare his love for you, his love that bursted inside of every vein of his and made his heart thunder between his ribs.

“I..” he unconsciously started, his tone a mere whisper that made your eyes widen, your fingers froze around him making him realise his own words, breath knocked out from his lungs at his own voice that was wavering. So full of emotion, carrying each and every ounce of combined fear and love that he held for you, there was no going back now, he thought.

“I lov—“ and his words were lost in the air, jaeyun was abruptly pulled away once again, vanishing from the other side of the bed and leaving no trace behind him, you sat up in shock at his unexpected disappearance, your chest rising and falling rapidly when he evanesced wholly.

The confusion only settled in a few moments later, why were you sitting on bed and searching for someone? And what was with the sinking and dreadful feeling in your stomach?

Before you could dwell in your turmoil further, a different scene of your memories started to play ahead, it was the day after.

「 and no matter how easy things could be if i did. 」

The scent of the blooming flowers of spring around the cafe distracted you from your friend’s disappointed gaze, her movements with the spoon that mixed the coffee with the cream halted before she cleared her throat, successfully garnering your attention and allowing you to see her dissatisfaction with your situation in only her eyes.

“How muc—“ “listen.” You cut her off, aware of the way that she was about to give you advice for the umpteenth time, to convince and coax you to leave, you felt used to it at this point. Her meaningful words failed to penetrate the wall you had built around yourself regarding anything that was related to jaeyun.

Her hope diminished further when she saw your tired eyes still overflowing with love, the neglect and exhaustion evident in your features, the lack of attention and reciprocation of love from jaeyun was crystal clear to your friend, she absolutely hated seeing you like this.

But she knew that Jaeyun had you wrapped around his finger, your heart drummed for him in a symphony created for only him. She knew that if your love was an ocean then you had drowned a long time ago.

The similarities between you two was almost frustrating for her, as if you both were created from the same soul blown into two different bodies, the love you held for each other heavy, intense and impactful yet you both cowered when faced with the mere possibilities of confession and rejection, far too afraid to lose one another and unaware of the fact that you both were slipping from between the other’s fingers.

“I know.” You whispered, voice barely audible beneath the chatter of everyone around you in the cafe, your heavy lidded eyes stayed on the cheesecake your friend convinced you to order as you felt no appetite, your stomach finding more comfort with the feeling of ache and longing than anything else.

“But I can’t do anything.” Your words broke towards the end, lowering your head in desperate attempt to hide away your glossy eyes from your friend that felt her heart shatter at your frail and weak frame, “I can’t force myself to not love him.” And before you broke down further, your friend’s arms wrapped around you and pulled you into her comfort.

And the feeling of her love and whispers calming you down and engulfing you settled a short moment of peace into your chest before your sight shifted into another memory.

The reminder of why you were here in the first place rang in your head when you finally entered the most dreaded one.

You didn’t want all of your happy memories to fill your being with sorrow, you didn’t want to grieve over a person who you saw everyday, he lived his life before your very own eyes, his every breath that called out to another girl, confessed his love to another woman whom you wished and hoped would become you one day matched with your every breath that called out to him.

Every day and every night your lips refused to not hold hope for his response, till the syllables of his own name tasted foreign on your tongue. they tasted bitter to you, not the familiar sweetness you felt when you had called out to him in the first few months of his delightful presence in your life.

The lightness you felt in you had turned into the constriction of your chest on you, the heavy weight atop your ribs felt as if they were pushing against your heart, punishing it for being so reckless and careless to fall in love with the only man you weren’t meant to be with.

Now each beat of your heart that you were convinced thundered for him, felt like hell breaking loose in between your veins, the burst of ecstasy and excitement had all dulled down to aches of anguish and despair.

And before you knew it, the rush of joy that ascended throughout your body had transformed to absolute misery.

Here you were again, in another painful memory. The mattress sank softly at your weight when you gathered the courage to face your love and your fear, though you weren’t quite sure when those two interlinked.

You knew love was never supposed to be fearful, the unblemished love your heart had held for the boy who had his back turned towards you on the bed was not supposed to frighten your mind with dread of the outcome of tonight.

Jaeyun was on the other side of the bed, huddled beneath the blanket as if using the fabric to protect himself from his surroundings, hiding away from the reality and the truth that awaited him with impatience, “jake..” you whispered, voice low as you tested the waters and longed for any sort of reaction from him.

Yet he remained stoic atop the sheets.

From your perspective, jaeyun appeared so close yet so far away and out of your reach, as the days passed by he pulled further from your grasp, backing away from the same hold that once brought comfort to his distraught conscience, as if the graze of your fingertips burned him.

And before you were able to realise it jaeyun was too far away, standing a large distance far from the circle that contained your warmth, where you stayed. Both of your beings were suddenly standing in a parallel line with no signs of interlacing in a messy circle once again.

You weren’t exactly sure when both of your hearts had gotten intertwined so awfully to one another, a tangled web forming between your ribs. Yet it seemed that whatever force connected the two appeared defenceless and weak when faced against the same force that was rapidly pushing your bodies and minds away from each other.

It appeared like the love that poured in every web and vein wasn’t enough to pull your soul against his own.

“We should talk.. we need to.” you breathed out, tone heavy as if you knew he was going to be quick to shut you out once again, but you weren’t sure if you were going to walk away for a safe amount of time before returning to him again this time.

Just how many times have you lived through this exact scenario? And how many times were you willing to do so?

“There’s nothing to talk about.” he replied through gritted teeth, closing his eyes once he felt the familiar burn around his iris, and there it was. the same answer you had memorised yet so desperately tried to forget, it left a bittersweet feeling to your moment, you were expecting it and the melancholy of hearing it again settled into your emotions.

Instinctively, you turned your head towards him. Your eyes tracing every tense muscle beneath his shirt, the rigidness of his shoulders as he appeared uncomfortable in his own room and god was the thought a punch to your gut when the possibility of your presence making him uneasy crawled its way into your brain.

And the guilt returned to your system immediately, “i’m sorry.” you spoke, words dragged from your strained and tightened throat as you desperately wanted to sprint into the bathroom before a sob fell from your lips. You felt pathetic, really. His coldness and curt replies never affected you as much as this one, maybe it was because you knew this was going to be your last attempt.

With your eyes unfocused on your surroundings, your feet pushed the door of the bathroom behind you before you leaned onto the wall for strength. And unbeknownst to you, jaeyun finally let out a shaky breath fall from between his bruised and bitten lips, allowing all the tears to spill past his skin, the same skin you so lovingly kissed just a few months ago, and now the mere thought of your lips against him was shredding his own emotions apart.

Jaeyun knew that with every harsh word he spoke, he was also single-handedly ripping apart every web between your hearts.

The pale blue moonlight illuminated the room, landing directly on the empty spot in the middle of the bed, as if asking for one of your tense bodies to move towards one another, yet both of you remained with your backs against eachother. Jaeyun was slowly counting the seconds, he knew the exact amount of minutes it took you to fall asleep by now as he had repeated the same routine every night, except this time your breathing was taking longer to deepen than it was supposed to.

That was until he heard a quiet sniffle ring in his ears.

He froze atop the cold sheets, the sound echoing in his mind as if it was tormenting him, the blame and guilt instantly rooting themselves deep in his stomach and extending their branches far in his body, planting themselves fully in his lungs till the point he couldn’t breathe, his breaths turning shallow the more sniffles and quiet cries of heartbreak reached his ears.

The sweat around his palms turned icy, his own body betraying him as he remained paralysed beneath the blanket, his heart screamed at him to go, to move for good for once, fingers itching to turn around and wrap your shaky figure in his hold, to protect you from the demons that were tormenting you both endlessly, yet he couldn’t move.

The louder his heart drummed in his chest to move, the sterner his mind reminded him of how much he deserved this, after all those months of neglect who did he think he was to suddenly switch and turn back towards you? After all those steps he took away from you, how dare he even think of walking back on the same footsteps?

And so he stayed. His body stoic in fear of moving an inch.

He breathed out his first deep breath when he realised that you stopped, when you finally fell asleep and he was able to move and breathe again. Jaeyun wasted no time in getting up from his side of the bed, his feet felt cold against the floor, each step he took towards your side felt heavy on his heart, countless pangs of guilt arrowing themselves directly across his chest at the sight of your sleeping frame hugging the blanket close to you.

The closer the walked towards you, the more he felt the torturous sting in his eyes, he gulped the moment his rigid frame made contact with your blanket, sitting down right next to your small frame. And as he took in the features of your face that he so dearly loved he felt his soul hurting further.

He noticed all the glimmering streaks of tears that aligned your skin, your wet eyelashes that carried and held onto smaller droplets of your pain, the soft redness tainting the tip of your nose matching your cheeks, the longer he stared at you the worse his hands ached to hold you against him.

The comfort of your aura around him had stayed the same, your mere existence around him felt tenderly welcoming to him. The presence that felt like the manifestation of a hug from the whole universe, the warmth that was carefully picked from every star in the galaxy was all provided to him by the heavens in the form of you.

Yet his presence had changed. It had matched yours in the beginning, the presence that was a combination of all galactic bodies, the mere light of his aura challenged the light of the sun and all the stars combined, a glow so bright that rivalled the brilliance of every heavenly titan, he was otherworldly. he was your sunshine.

And now the warmth of the sun had dulled, dissolved into the shell of what he used to be, you thought that maybe each light had its own darkness since even the moon had its own dark side that it was ashamed of turning to show.

His fingertips landed against your soft skin, the disappearance of the coldness from his body the moment it made contact with yours made him melt in front of your sleeping form, and he allowed himself for once to sob all of his pain out.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, voice breaking as he attempted to convey his emotions once they intensified by the seconds, his misery streaming down his face, “I’m so sorry..” he repeated, the heaviness in his heart worsening at the sight of his tears dripping down onto your blanket, his pain surrounding you once again.

“I wish—“ he gasped for breath, his insides shattering apart the longer he spent next to your frame, “I wish you hated me, so much.” He finally breathed out, his heart stinging with each word, sight blurring further as more tears fell past his cheeks.

“You don’t deserve me, my love.” Jaeyun smiled sadly at your sleeping form, the thought of you receiving the same kind and brave love that you felt for him brought a short-lived happiness to him, he knew he was incapable of reciprocating the adoration that filled you whole because of him.

Jaeyun was scared the second he realised that you had handed your heart over to his hands, he knew his bravery wouldn’t hold enough power to clench his fingertips around your fragile heart, resulting in the delicate and weak item to slip out of his fingers and shatter like countless pieces of glass on the floor.

How he wished he had the courage to love you the same way you loved him, to adore you the same way you adored him, to run back into your warm circle and keep you hidden and protected in his embrace till the end of times, yet he was incapable. His fears and doubts eating away at all the potentials that existed in your heart.

“But I don’t want you to not love me either.” He cried quietly, the thought of you receiving the same love you deserved from someone else destroyed him completely, the visualisation of you smiling the same way you do with him to another man had his hands springing upwards from your skin to grip onto his hair, paining himself in hopes of the torturous image dissipating from his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated once again, his eyes stinging at the continuous hurt his body had bottled up and just got the courage to spill, Jaeyun knew he wasn’t brave enough to show and confess his love to you the way you had done for him, and that fact tugged further on his heartstrings.

The rational part of him hoped aimlessly for a day to arrive where you would realise your worth, realise that jaeyun was still being eaten alive with his fear and doubts and guilt all at the same time, his love for you was overflowing yet he hid each and every bit of it so well.

He knew you deserved better, his rational part always tormenting him with his unworthiness and pushing him further away from you, yet his heart— god his heart couldn’t possibly handle the simple thought of you being away from him.

It was his weak side that still clutched you against him so tightly, the side that was fully and wholly controlled by his emotions that were feral for you, the part of him that desperately ignored all warnings and reminders of his logical side.

Deep down, you knew you and jaeyun were never meant to be. The difference between you and him was vast, similar to the difference of the sand and the ocean, the land and the sky, the moon and the sun. Both parts completing each other while repelling one another at the same time.

You two were never meant to intertwine in the first place.

And even if Jaeyun was finally ready to push every pearl and grain of sand into the ocean, to make the sky fall atop the land and to alter the moon and the sun’s planes’ into a permanent eclipse, it was way too late.

For by the time he wakes up, he won’t even be able to remember you.

The metal pieces on your temples glowed green, indicating another opening for a memory for you, a few days after your despair with jaeyun, where he finally collected all the dispersed courage from his head and went out of his way to make it up to you, inevitably wrapping you both further into his unhealthy cycle of messing up and redeeming himself.

Disregarding the fact that both of your hearts can only take so much. After so much heartbreak and neglect to the core of your soul that only held passion and love towards him, it was bound to give up on trying one day. But you were still loving him. And jaeyun ignored all the voices in his head when they began to claim that your unreciprocated love can’t last that long. Because Jaeyun believed in you.

And maybe it was blinded belief, blurred with his own hope that contained to bloom in his chest, his hope to fix and repair himself as soon as possible so he can present himself to you wholly, even if his time was running thin, even if he didn’t believe in himself, he still found comfort in the small amount of optimism that maybe he can bring the version of him that you adored in your to life.

You both knew that you fell in love with a side of him that he was too afraid to share, too doubtful to uncover and give himself and his most vulnerable parts to, and he knew that he had imprinted himself onto your mind, tattooed his presence onto your heart and he could say that the same implied to himself, it was only a matter of time.

But Jaeyun didn’t know that the longer he was taking to mend himself, he was breaking you further. Just how much longer were you supposed to wait for him to walk back and finally engulf you in his arms again? How much longer was he expecting you to wait while he cured himself? How much longer were you supposed to wait for his love? Unmindful of the way that you, yourself needed to heal as well.

Yet here you were, hand laced with jaeyun’s as he pulled you towards the dining room in the house, his excited giggles rang throughout the walls before the sound got trapped in your head and repeated continuously, your legs moved you in front of the table where a small chocolate cake was placed with three candles atop the icing.

“I made t—“ he started off before he felt your puppy’s fur graze his leg and cut his words, “me and layla made this for you.” He corrected himself, you were still facing the glowing cake with your oh so gentle gaze that never failed to make jaeyun sigh lovingly besides you, “happy birthday, my love.” He whispered, each word knitted with his undying devotion for you, and you felt it. Which made you love him further.

“Thank you, Jaeyun.” You replied, the room suddenly blurred from around you as your only focus was back to him again, to jaeyun’s charming smile and twinkling eyes when you finally faced him, the soft golden burn from the candles made him glow beautifully for you, with his closeness to your body and his fingers still intertwined with yours, you felt yourself falling in love with him all over again.

And jaeyun felt the same, your grateful grin as all of your features softened when your gaze met his made his heart melt into a puddle in his chest, the familiar electricity buzzed between both of your frames, the small glimmer of hope became a fired storm that lit and roared more when the two of you only seemed to get further lost in each other’s presence.

With jaeyun’s face inches away from yours, his arms reached to wrap around your waist, swiftly lifting and placing you on the wooden table next to the cake, the surprised gasp that fell past your lips made him chuckle, his hands then lowered to rest on your thighs, “make a wish, sweetheart.” He spoke, you could feel each flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as he held you close to him.

His slow breath that brushed against your collarbones when he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes to drown completely in this moment, dedicating your mind, body and heart in the close and comfortable warmth of one another that your souls craved for so deeply and desperately, the need clawing away at your heart and finally settling once your hand moved onto his chest, settling above his ribs. You almost melted against him when you felt the rapid thumping of his heart beneath your fingertips.

He moved his head into the crook of your neck, a sudden drowsiness creeping through him as he felt so safe and shielded with you so close to him, you didn’t feel as far and cold from him like you usually do, and that thought brought so much peace to his mind for the first time in months.

And so you breathed his scent deeply, surrounding yourself further in him as you made a wish where you weren’t asking for too much, just for jaeyun’s love.

“Blow them out.” He lifted himself away from you, his fingers ghosting against your legs while he smiled encouragingly at you, both of your eyes seemed glossier with the light of the candles casting down on them.

“Do it with me.” You requested with your tone fragile and careful. jaeyun’s widened, his eyes turning into crescents as he looked at you tenderly. He nodded making you turn your head towards the candles, the slight warmth provided by the small fire lead shivers to run down your spine before you both leaned down and blew on the candles together.

And right when you turned back to face jaeyun with a grin, you were left alone next to the chocolate cake, the cold air jabbing at your skin while your eyes uncontrollably sought for the sight of anyone, you could’ve sworn you felt warm hands on your thighs, but there was no one else in the room other than you and layla.

Where did this cake come from? And why were you not able to remember who made this cake?

「 i waited for your love. 」

All at once, the machine glitched. Losing its track on the map of your mind when the lights around your temples glowed scarlet, indicating the loss of the connection, the interlink pausing for a brief second when a sob wrecked through your body when you remembered the memory you were about to erase.

The nurse’s rushed movements to carefully pat your cheeks that were dampened with your tears were useless against your gut wrenching cries, a rush of emotions that raged in your chest before they fell through your eyes, like a dam shattering apart as the waterfalls streamed down your face and separated from your chin to land on your lap, gradually dampening the fabric.

“Please keep t-this one.” You whimpered, each word falling apart as your voice quietened slowly, your hands reaching to clasp around the necklace that graced your chest, the small piece of pine almost penetrating your skin with its sharp edges the tighter you held it when you opened your blurry eyes to the sight of the doctor and the nurse gazing at you warily, the sorrow was shared in the room as their sympathy towards you was clear in the windows of their eyes.

The woman’s warm hands gently held onto your shaking shoulder while you begged and sobbed with the machine glitching to please keep this upcoming memory, you felt helpless. More parts of your love, of your heart being ripped away from you were finally catching up to you and god was the pain absolutely unbearable.

Was this the punishment one had to pay for the innocent act of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

Words and voices became blurred and intangible from around you, the apologies from the nurse and the doctor never fully processing in your mind as the sorrowful memory had started to play ahead of your eyes with no help from the machine.

Your last whispers were to keep this memory, to leave the memory so you can hold onto the final and most precious piece of sim jaeyun that you got to see and experience first hand, the moment where your adoration and devotion towards the boy was solidified, before the pieces returned to glow in thier emerald hue and the device relinked.

Your head ached with the continuous tears flowing down your face when the memory of you and jaeyun sitting next to each other on the couch unfolded, his fingertips ghosted on your skin, dancing around and drawing shapes and words only he knew the meaning behind while he held you close to him, the inexplicable need and desire to hold you near took a hold of him, and you understood it.

You and jaeyun understood one another beyond the boundaries others deemed possible, you understood his soul so well, his soul that was crafted from a language so intricate and delicate and you were fluent in it. And when faced with the opposite situation of him knowing your soul, he flowed in every crack and crevice of your being easily.

his presence had seeped its way throughout all of your walls that you spent day and night building, growing rapidly all over your walls like vines before breaking them all one by one, till he rooted himself in a great spot, deep in your heart.

If possible, he knew your soul better than he knew his own. But the disagreement of your minds overpowered the link between your hearts and unraveled your tangled souls from one another.

And maybe your mastery in his language was the dawn for the demise of your sweet, innocent love. Because you hated that you could tell how fidgety and anxious jaeyun was around you in this current moment.

“Is something wrong?” You finally had the bravery to voice out, worry worsening when you felt his movements freeze. He cleared his throat before sighing, pulling himself slightly away from you to stare into your eyes.

You felt time slowing around you when you saw his glossy gaze, sim Jaeyun looked breathtaking with the amount of emotions that swirled in his eyes, an amount you couldn’t even begin to fathom or comprehend, you felt yourself gradually losing yourself the longer both of you drowned on the other’s presence, the atmosphere then carried a great sense of doom that both of you decided to ignore.

Too scared to face the results of your avoidance.

“I have a gift for you.” Jaeyun breathed out, the weight that he dragged on his shoulders became heavier when he continued his typical routine of ignorance, of running away from the problem in every possible direction even if they led him to the most tragic path.

Nodding to encourage him, you pursed your lips in anticipation, excitement sparking slowly when you finally pushed away every anxious thought of what could be possibly bothering jaeyun, his hands reached towards his pocket where he pulled a box, your eyes widening when— “I’m not proposing!” He quickly blurted out once he caught your shocked expression, “it’s just— a special gift.” He blushed making you tilt your head in confusion, unknowingly deepening the blush on his face.

“Here.” He handed you the white velvety box, your fingers brushed against the fabric one final time before opening the lid and god you’ve never felt so many conflicted emotions all at once.

The intense vehemence and hurricane of feelings swirling around your heart and chest uncoordinatedly lead the device unable to keep up with the contrast between your happiness in the memory and the sheer ache that you were facing in the current time.

Like the tides of an ocean, your regret washed down on you. Intensifying as if the waves were battling with a storm, escalating the worse the strikes of the thunder became with the time. How were you supposed to forget about him?

“Why are you crying?” His voice was weak, lips quivering in panic of you repelling his gift, hating the small pine cone necklace that adorned the box in your hands, “what?” You asked, confusion laced in your voice, you were over the moon why would you be crying?

You fingertips left the soft pine cone pendant to touch your face, flinching when feeling the small tear drop on the pad of your finger, you never cried in this memory.

“Please calm her down, her emotions are disrupting the memory.” You heard the muffled voice of the doctor followed by the panicked and comforting whispers of the nurse in your ear, whispered promises of living in peace and finding happiness barely reached your mind when you were wiping away your happiness yourself right now.

“Let me help you put it on.” Jaeyun proposed, smiling softly when you nodded and turned around after handing him the necklace, Jaeyun chanted words of reassurance in his head in hopes of calming his shaking fingers that burned when they brushed against your skin, clasping the necklace for the first and final time around your chest, he felt happiness and pride blooming in his heart at the satisfaction of having a piece of himself around you at all times.

“Turn around so I can see you, pretty.” He leaned in and whispered into your ear, his smile widening when you chuckled at his words and turned around.

But why was there no one behind when you turned?

Gasping through your tears with the pieces glowing crimson around your temples, you searched through the blurry figures of white coats and stethoscopes for a different one, though unknown to you who exactly you were searching for, your eyes still raced through every corner of the room.

“Please calm down, miss.” The nurse reassured, pushing the device back onto your temples when you still weakly looked around, too exhausted to respond or fight for your belief that someone is supposed to be here for you, “we’re one final memory away.” You heard the doctor talk before breathing a shaky breath in and taking your final trip to your memory lane.

“I’ll return before night, love.” Jaeyun shouted from the door, hoping that you weren’t able to hear his wavering voice when he left you on the only day you asked for him to stay, but after all of your attempts and requests to get him to stay were unsuccessful, you stayed in the room with your puppy as you waited for her father.

And what was supposed to be two hours became three, what became three turned into the evening, and here you were with your back leaning against the door Jaeyun walked out from when it’s past midnight, Layla’s figure quickly found your own crouched one, arms wrapped around your knees to allow the sleeves of your shirt to catch your tears when the thunder struck for the nth time that night, the night that Jaeyun didn’t return.

Your chest felt empty, as if your heart had been ripped and now the cold air passing through the void of where you used to hold a blinding love made goosebumps align like constellations along your skin, you felt hollow.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this, baby.” You cried to layla who’s ears only lowered, if it wasn’t for the poor lighting in the hallway you would’ve been able to also see her own glossy and hurt filled eyes at the sight of you, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t make him love me.” You turned your head from her silhouette. Shame, humiliation and heartache overflowing you entirely as you sobbed behind the same door jaeyun was leaning against.

He stood there with his frame freezing from the cold, another night of him not being able to tell the difference between the rain droplets falling from his hair and his own salty tears as he allowed the guilt to eat him up from the inside out, not having the heart to possibly open the door and greet the view of a heartbroken you.

He had seen the sight of your tired eyes too many times, and knowing that he himself was the root of the pain made the heartache devour him whole, so he slid down onto the wet floor beneath him with his back towards the door, chuckling tearfully at his own patheticness.

If only he had the bravery to free fall into the sweet and accepting love that bloomed between the two of you like you had, maybe he would’ve been on the other side of the door to engulf you in his arms and console you.

But who was he kidding, he’s the same guy that couldn’t handle the responsibility of your pure heart and distracted himself with other women, surrounding himself with different fragrances and lipstick prints all when the lady of his heart was always within arm’s reach.

He wished he had moulded himself back into the version of him that you met, the loving and easygoing Jake that gazed at you with stars in his eyes, but the damage had already been done. There was no turning back now.

Especially not when you finally opened your eyes fully to the blinding light in the room, the soft blue light being sighted in your peripheral vision, indicating the completion and the success of the operation.

Elation sparked in your body, gradually burning into a small fire when you couldn’t remember anything.

“How are you feeling, miss?” The nurse asked, a hopeful smile gracing her features while she gazed at a confused you taking in your surroundings as if it was your first time, “weirdly.. light?” The doctor chuckled at your words, “the operation was a success.” He spoke before grinning pridefully at his triumph.

“You did amazing, miss.” The nurse praised as she helped you to stand on your own feet with no heavy weight on your shoulders for the first time in months, discarding the metal pieces before shaking your hands, words of gratitude and wishes for a healthy and happy life were exchanged before you finally walked out of the door belonging to the office, taking your first strives with no burden or guilt surrounding you as if you were floating.

Oblivious of the knowledge that Jaeyun woke up with a headache on the other side of the city, the back of his head pounding with him barely able to register Layla’s worried coos, unable to fully open his eyes and lifting his hand to rub the sleep away before— wait was he crying?

The young boy stared at his hand that shined with his tears in confusion, why was he crying? He tried to remember if he had seen a nightmare, a dream, anything— only to reach no answer.

“Hey pretty, don’t worry about me it was probably a dream.” He decided on comforting his puppy that only cooed sadly, his hand reaching forward to pet her fur while the other reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone when it brushed against a foreign object.

Jaeyun’s eyebrows furrowed when he pulled out a small box from his pocket, the item resembling a weirdly intimate small box, he opened it to reveal a beautiful ring— a promise ring. embroidered with a bunch of small diamonds around the silver lining, his confusion deepening when he had absolutely no clue of who this ring could possibly belong to.

He searched the inside for any sort of engraving to no avail, “who was this for..?” He whispered to layla who deflated further into the floor, sadness overflowing from her eyes at the defeat and loss of her friend.

And at the end, you and jaeyun’s tragic love story became encapsulated into a small forgotten star in the vast, wide and endless sky.

Already opening new opportunities and doors for different stories to be woven into your lives, you finally met up with the guy your friend had set you up with, and you knew the decision of trusting her taste was successful when a tall, doe eyed guy showed up to your table.

“Hello, my name is heeseung.” He smiled sweetly, his warm aura welcoming and pulling you in completely, unknown to you that this was just the beginning of your story with the love of your life, both of you getting lost in tangled conversations filled with questions and your interests, unaware of the different couple passing outside of the window.

“Wait so jungwon scored right?” Jake laughed, engrossed in the story of how his best friend almost ended up in the hospital, “after making riki trip, yes.” The girl besides him chuckled when Jake threw his head back in laughter, without noticing how his puppy stood outside of a cafe window, layla was no longer following him and instead she seemed to gaze intensely into the window.

Her tail swishing in excitement and joy when she spotted your figure sitting on one of the chairs, accompanied by a man that wasn’t afraid to wrap his arm around your shoulder while you laughed at his words.

Both you and Jake blind to the sight of the conflicted puppy who’s head only swished on both of your distant figures with two different people around you now before walking away with a heavy heart in jaeyun’s direction.

Maybe you and Jaeyun were never meant to successfully intertwine.

— fin

a,note. this feels so weird to share now because this is my first ever heavy angst filled work that’s also very emotionally connected to me in a way, first of all thank you ariana for releasing album of the year and inspiring me to write this, if you haven’t listened to eternal sunshine please so as soon as possible.

second i’d like to share how somewhat uncomfortable it is for me to share this as i had to take a lot of breaks throughout writing it (i’m an emotional b word pls) and also there were alot of moments that were inspired by my closest friendships / emotional experiences so i really feel like im sharing some sort of part of myself with this as well, but either way i hope u enjoyed reading this !! i love u layla and i’m sorry :(