So, I'm Re-reading The Harry Potter Series. I Just Watched The Films For The First Time, And I Keep Seeing

Fourth rule of washing dishes: when you inevitably drop a slippery knife blade-down, jump halfway across the kitchen as dramatically as possible to avoid stabbage.

first rule of washing dishes: Be yourself and have fun

second rule of washing dishes: Make sure to get water and soap in every possible corner of the entire kitchen

It’s a pretty average day aboard the ship. Karen is high off her ass, Moss is trying to make friends with the feral ratbirds that live in the pipes, and Steve is trying to teach Bastier (the newest crew member) how to juggle.

Zzgnaru walks through the ship with a deep sense of satisfaction. None of the humans have said anything weird lately, nothing’s caught on fire for weeks, and Karen’s almost out of drugs. That won’t be a problem at all in a few days!

As xey pass the common room, xey hear Steve talking to his boyfriend, Josh, and Bastier. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna buy a few new skins. My current one feels kinda lame.”

Zzgnaru immediately feels like xey’ve heard something xey weren’t supposed to. Xey retreat to the bridge, where Moss and Karen sit with Amethyst (a Penaconian), Douri (an Aaki), and Banana, Moss’ current situationship, braiding each other’s hair. Karen takes one look at xir face, and excuses herself.

“Zzgnaru, hon, what’s up?” She asks, walking with xem through the corridors. “I heard Steve tell Josh and Bastier that he was going to purchase some flesh,” xey explain. Karen gives him a confused look, and asks, “Do you remember exactly what they said? Because Steve doesn’t strike me as a serial killer or a dude who’d like human taxidermy.”

Zzgnaru thinks for a moment, and then says, “I believe that he said he was going to ‘buy some new skins.’ Josh and Bastier seemed to think this was completely normal.” Karen stops, and just stares at him for a second. Then she bursts into laughter. “Oh, Zzgnaru, bae, they were talking about video games. ‘Skin’ is slang for the outfit your character is wearing. It’s not actual flesh,” she crows. Zzgnaru sighs in relief. “Thank the universe. I thought I was going to have to call in the authorities.”

Karen just laughs harder. “You know you wouldn’t. I mean, I’m literally in possession of highly illegal drugs all the time, Moss is a stalker, and Amethyst and Banana have blackmailed almost everyone on our ship- and others- at least once.”

Zzgnaru sighs in resignation. She’s right, though. Xey’re not about to sell out xir crewmates.

I don’t need to say anything this is just how it is

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

or, yk, being called an idiot and having my hair pulled, but sure

happy national womens day, i am only excepting praise and free food today so yall men better pay up

Excuse me, but we'd like to refer you to the Genshin Impact fandom.

-The MHA fandom

mha HAS to be the horniest fandom ive ever been in

Is- is it weird that I thought this was a chicken?

Happy Thanksgiving 🍗

IM ALSO LITERALLY AUBREY BUT I STILL DON’T LIKE HER. or at least blackspace her

my boyfriend has gotten me obsessed with omori

i kinda hate aubrey

basil is my favorite

what the fuck do you mean he's depressed and suicidal

no

*runs to ao3*

immediately sees the sunflower tag and proceeds to read all of the possible wiki on basil and sunny

i approve of this ship

now, if ao3 does its job correctly, they can be happy and alive, thank you omocat

kel my sunshine boy

my qpr told me that basil was depression and hero was bargaining

they're a liar

hero laid in his bed unable to get out for days bc he was sad

basil is literally just trying to be optimistic

also

basil is not a murderer

sunny *technically* is

they're sixteen and honestly i don't believe sunny meant to hurt mari

they panicked

im gonna let you sleep now

HEY!

I cross-posted my SKZ ff on Wattpad! Quotev is next! It’s still under the username @shroomie_the_frog_whisperer, as I am on everything.

Happy reading!