im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.
Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?
Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.
Alien: What??
Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.
Alien: wHAT?!
Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.
Alien: WHaT ?!?!
Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.
Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.
Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.
EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…
Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*
Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf
Da birb and her durgon bestie
durgon is about 5500 years older than birb
🎁🎄
6. one of those blow-up dino costumes
7. my hoodie
8. a watch
9. Suit
10: a full fursuit
5 sexiest things a woman could wear
Full suit of armor
Just an oversized teeshirt
blood of her enemies
leather jacket
Super cool sword on her back
She’s $50,000 in debt and doesn’t know that you have to pay off credit cards
So, we’re dogsitting my aunt’s miniature poodle-something-or-other. Here’s a conversation my sister had with her this morning.
Dog: *Barks loud af at the window*
Sister: Dido, don’t be racist.
Now I don’t speak dog, but there’s two explanations for this. 1, my nine-year-old sister can speak to dogs, or 8, and slightly more plausible, there was a black or otherwise culturally different person walking down the sidewalk.
I’m choosing to believe that my little feral cat of a gremlin sister can speak dog.
i saw this on my pinterest feed
pls
we CANNOT let this happen.
that person, who decided this, is not a stay.
it is so funny how people send me hate being like "touch grass you soggy mf"
bitch i been touching grass i am a literal fantasy cosplayer
i literally have a six foot long wooden dowel that i use as a staff for twirly stick cardio
nature is my kingdom
i can tell different kinds of poison plants from just the shape of the berries
maybe you need to touch grass
idk
get some of that rage out
love yall
Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.
Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?
Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.
Alien: What??
Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.
Alien: wHAT?!
Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.
Alien: WHaT ?!?!
Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.
Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.
Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.
EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…
Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*
Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf
Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS
edit 5: if you like this, go look at these:
This is now a masterlist.
Well, I’m dead.
ADHD. I have ADHD. Oh, and I'm aroace. Hi. :]
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