Thank You!!

Via FB Ali Federwitz

My thoughts and feelings, typed out far more eloquently than I ever could.

Being LDS on this website that’s obsessed with finding fault in different groups of people means you’re subjected — semi-frequently, at complete random, and by random blogs so you can’t follow a pattern back to one person to unfollow — to posts that are like

“Mormonism is a cult because-" *insert a) something the church doesn’t teach, b) a claim about how the church is controlling and forces its members to do things they don’t make you do, like cut off contact with nonmembers or something similarly crazy, or c) completely innocuous thing that’s completely normal for any religion to ask of its adherents*

“Mormons are crazy because-" *insert a) something that has literally never been taught as doctrine ever that was either made up about us or spread by weird members in the past who didn’t know what they were talking about and people held onto that instead of listening to corrections regarding it, or b) something taken wildly out of context or worded in a way to purposefully make it sound nuts and which makes way more sense if you’d actually bother to listen to someone try to explain it*

“Exmo here, yeah the church is horrible because-" *insert a) personal experience with individuals doing xyz that is certainly unfortunate but has nothing to do with the church as a whole or its doctrine, or b) wild claims that you KNOW this person is lying about because you literally grew up in the same faith as they did and were taught the same things and you know they’re spouting some serious garbage about what we supposedly believe but of course everyone is going to trust the person who talks like a cult survivor so there’s nothing you can do about it*

And you sit there having to either ignore it (DIFFICULT) or find the courage to message the person who reblogged it to gently explain why the post is wrong (does not go well half the time).

No, the church does not fit the BITE model for a cult (literally the only few parts of the list you could say it matches are the few that are true of literally any religion and do not scream ‘cult’). No, you do not need a lawyer to get your records removed, anyone offering those services is scamming you for money because you can literally just ask your local leaders to have it done. No, we do not genuinely believe that insane Bigfoot Cain folk story or anything else like it. And frankly, sometimes people who leave just lie. That happens. It does not make me brainwashed to say that someone who left the church and is spreading obvious crap about things we don’t really teach or believe is indeed lying and it’s frustrating to no end that the automatic reaction from so many people is that you must be the crazy one, meanwhile you’re sitting there being gaslit about your own beliefs as they go ‘Mormons teach/believe xyz’ ‘no we don’t’ ‘yes you do’ ‘we literally don’t though’ ‘shut up you’re just brainwashed’ ‘????’. Have you ever seen a divorced person spread bad rumors about their ex that are not true? Yeah.

(And before anyone goes, ‘Hey, she’s trying to invalidate the stories of people who left, that’s clearly a cultist!’, I’m referring strictly to people who make false claims about what we teach that can be easily verified as false. There are bitter people out there who do that. I’m all for listening to people who have had bad experiences with other members in the church, absolutely nothing but sympathy and love towards those who have genuinely been hurt in one way or another, and yes there are cultural things especially in Utah that have needed or still do need shifting. But as always, the same is true of literally any religion or just any group of human beings in general because a lot of the time human beings kind of suck. The church isn’t special for this. It’s just as filled with flawed people who need to repent as any other group of people on the planet and that’s no secret. There’s a reason we’re always encouraged by our leaders to continue to become better and to try to be more Christlike than we often are, and the vast majority of members are absolutely trying to live by that and it’s not fair to judge those millions of people by the ones who don’t behave as they should. You can believe the stories of people who have had bad experiences without making out 16 million other people to be horrible. Everything would be a cult if the qualification for that was to have some bad apples in your midst.)

It doesn’t take much to look at different sources to see if there’s another side to a story or another explanation for something that sounds weird. You don’t even have to look through church websites for it, you can literally just ask members if you know any. In fact PLEASE just ask us because I lose my mind a little more every time I see someone just looking at sources that are total confirmation biases against us. Ask faithful, practicing members if they’re really forced to do xyz or ask them to explain something weird you heard. We’re not exactly secretive or shy about explaining our beliefs (hence the missionaries lol), we’ll do it. Heck, I’ve got anxiety through the roof about answering questions because I’m scared I’ll word something poorly but even I will still do it, I’d rather face my fears and respond imperfectly than let someone go around thinking something that’s not true. As long as you’re asking genuinely out of curiosity to hear our perspective and not trying to just poke at our faith and be a jerk, you’ll get people who are willing to answer you and have a reasonable discussion without trying to convert you or something.

Aaaanyway. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve now seen two different posts from two different people today being negative about my faith, so. I’m tired. If you’re so inclined please pray for my ability to feel close to Christ, have love for people I disagree with, and be patient with nonsense lol. Goodness knows I need help with that sometimes. Especially right now since I apparently had enough frustration in me to write this whole thing lol.

A 2017 classic updated for the new game.

The tomb of a pastor's wife and stillborn child in a church in Hindelbank, Switzerland, 1751, depicting their resurrection.

One thing that’s really cool about being made in the image of God is that it’s possible to cut potatoes into sort of medallion things and then toss ‘em in butter and oil and Italian seasoning and garlic and salt and pepper and then put down a rather absurdly generous sanding of Parmesan all across the parchment paper and then slap those oily seasoned potatoes right over the Parmesan and roast ‘em at 400 degrees until their undersides look about like so

I think the really insidious part of the whole "I don't need to forgive the people who hurt me" attitude that's so prominant nowadays, is that it perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

Not every person who does bad things has a tragedy fueling their behavior. But a lot of them do. You can be a victim and also an abuser. Those are not mutually exclusive things. In fact, one of the best ways to become an abuser is to take the pain of the injustice you've experienced and to let it fester inside you. And that is what happens if you don't forgive.

And before anyone tries to tell me that you can't forgive someone because that means letting them to continue hurting you. That's not what forgiveness is. Resuming a relationship with someone who hurt you is Reconciling. Forgiveness is when you choose to let go of the anger and the hate and the bitterness and heal. I know this is an honest misunderstanding, but it's a dangerous one.

You don't have to remain a victim in order to forgive. But if you do not forgive you will become the same as your abuser. That's not a risk, but a fact. The cycle of abuse can be broken but you have to choose to do it.

You have to choose to heal. You owe it others and to yourself.

It is a humbling experience to meet with someone who is as you once were.

When I was younger (high school aged) I wrote a fanfic for My Little Pony (MLP). By all measures, it was terrible; there were pages and pages of pre-plot details about business practices and logistics for an OC who was flagrantly a Mary Sue. I hardly mentioned any canon characters, the plot was mostly an afterthought and half baked, etc.

In a few years, I grew enough to recognize MLP had devolved into a silly children's show, that my pages and pages had no literary merit, that fic writing was not a serious hobby.

I deleted it.

In college, with joyful friends who taught me to love life, I came to see that I had so much FUN writing that fic, unburdened by any thoughts of an audience or expectations of quality.

I regret deleting it.

Now, I start new projects, and they are terrible, and I savor their creation.

I’m so excited!

General Conference has come around again and you are invited to join us! Twice a year, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gathers to learn from each other and seek personal revelation.

If you have questions, if you want to feel close to God, if you are seeking something more, conference can help you to fill those gaps. A loving God reaches out to us all, and He is reaching out to you. Join us for General Conference from October 1-2, 2022 at ChurchofJesusChrist.org <3