I Think The Really Insidious Part Of The Whole "I Don't Need To Forgive The People Who Hurt Me" Attitude

I think the really insidious part of the whole "I don't need to forgive the people who hurt me" attitude that's so prominant nowadays, is that it perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

Not every person who does bad things has a tragedy fueling their behavior. But a lot of them do. You can be a victim and also an abuser. Those are not mutually exclusive things. In fact, one of the best ways to become an abuser is to take the pain of the injustice you've experienced and to let it fester inside you. And that is what happens if you don't forgive.

And before anyone tries to tell me that you can't forgive someone because that means letting them to continue hurting you. That's not what forgiveness is. Resuming a relationship with someone who hurt you is Reconciling. Forgiveness is when you choose to let go of the anger and the hate and the bitterness and heal. I know this is an honest misunderstanding, but it's a dangerous one.

You don't have to remain a victim in order to forgive. But if you do not forgive you will become the same as your abuser. That's not a risk, but a fact. The cycle of abuse can be broken but you have to choose to do it.

You have to choose to heal. You owe it others and to yourself.