I Do This Really Cute Thing Where I Shut Down And Hate Everybody

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, 'Notes' from The Underground

How to celebrate Pride from withIN the closet

just occurred to me that sirius black was an eldest child in a friend group of ONLY CHILDREN?? what a poor poor soul

rip vincent Van Gogh you would’ve loved studio ghibli

for Acker, writing seems to be a way to slow down her pain, to snatch at and examine it

The young woman that emerges is herself in flux, and appears, by turns and at once, petulant, defiant, earnest, seething, self-sabotaging, fearful, isolated, longing. From time to time, and especially when discussing her cats or her writing, there are eruptions of elation, even ecstasy. She feels too much, doesn’t feel enough. She has a difficult time meeting people, she hates people. She loves her body, hates her body. She loves New York, hates New York. In one moment, she is completely convinced of the value of her writing; the next, it’s worthless. She craves authenticity while struggling to define what that even means. Above all, she is constantly questioning—what she thinks, what she does, what she writes and feels and remembers and desires. Even as the entries can feel hurried and harried, for Acker, writing seems to be a way to slow down her pain, to snatch at and examine it.

— Jason McBride, “Eat Your Mind: The Radical Life and Work of Kathy Acker“ (Simon & Schuster, November 29, 2022) 

fuck dating apps i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (you’re walking your bike up the last hill into town wearing your school uniform. i’m hanging out the passenger side window of my best friend’s car. your hands are beautiful. we know nothing about each other. you disappear in the rear view mirror. i close my eyes and send up a simple, inexplicable, desperate prayer to god. i say please. i have never said please in my life)

phoebe bridgers is a stronger person than me because if I was in a three person band and the two other members started dating each other you would see me on the news

crying tears of blood all by yourself, handsome?