Pt 2

get out of bed for HER

you ever think about how Mithrun actually spent most of his life as a silver eyed insecure pretty boy with a lot of pent up anger and resentment in that 5’1 body? What was it, like 140-ish years? And how he’s only been in his current state for about 40 years now, which is just a drop in the bucket for elves? But it’s probably felt like an eternity to him.

Do you think he misses his old self? I think he thinks he lacks the ability to care about the past— other than the demon part— and he refuses to admit that he despises his old self but also wants him back. Lord, give him one more chance..

Omg!!! Leaks from the next Mafuyu event????

past!Mithrun wishing to be safe somewhere with no enemies that would harm him, and current!Mithrun doing risky things bc his sense of self-preservation is lost, is making me feel a certain way

Mithrun ur so funny to me. Bed bound bc of seveare depression then excerise and a half assed routine just barely giving him a reason to be moderately functional. Thas me thats literally me rn

IF THIS GETS 3-5 LIKES/REBLOGS I WILL SEND PHRISTOPHER CIERRE TO MY FAVORITE GHOST BLOGS

self indulgent death note au where everything is the same execpt Lights a fucking loser. Everything is the same except hes literally just tomoko from watamote. overthinks everything. everyone thinks hes this cool suave guy but in his head hes just like “god DAMMIT ohhm y god no. noX I FORGOT MY FUCKING COFFEE ORDER THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING AND PATHETIC I NEED TO KILL MY SELF NOW???3” while the barista’s looking at him sighing dreamily. (plot twist: the barista is misa and her coworker is L. they both have very different opinions on light. misa just looks at him and thinks “what a guy.” and L’s only opinion on him is “wow what a loser he looks like hes in a constant state of sopping wet cat. (affectionate) ) Light is in crises half the time and people DO hate him but not for the reason he thinks. instead its because in his trying to always be perfect and get to places on time, he runs to places a lot and accidentally pushes people. so. much. atp theres a support group for people that Light Yagami has accidentally pushed in his hurry. anyways sorry for rambling i love light a lot but i think they should have internally made him a loser because come on. he has sad wet cat material and they wasted it on sad religious imagery of a teenage boy yearning to be something more. jk i love him :3 i just think he could have been more tragic in a radiohead/alex g way instead of a mitski way if u understand what that means.

i understand the love of college aus but i’m begging y’all to stop making mithrun an undergrad. that man is on his final year of a graduate program after a 10 year break from academia whose biggest enemy is his advisor that won’t stop assigning him to TA 100-level classes.

extension on my earlier Niigo confronting Mafuyu's mom post

might be a bit odd or a stretch and written poorly by me (sorry if its rambly basically) but mithrun has such interesting but devastating symbolism and importance for a message in dunmeshi.

(TW SA/ABUSE MENTIONS)

the goat (demon) being an abusive relationship that to you who is in it only sees a nice perfect person doing anything for you, only for things to slowly get worse and worse… leading to SA (it’s not actual SA but the imagery has subtle implications of it) and other forms of physical and psychological abuse.

this leaving mithrun in an intense state of depression, ptsd and other issues like getting mana sickness really easily, which is also connected to the physical disabilities he got from said abuse. and due to these states he finds he can not desire anything anymore, he can only feel empty, not even a desire to get help and only feels a strong anger to the person and tries to prevent anyone else from going through the same.

but he’s not a lost cause.

“so.. even vegetable scraps have their uses, huh?”

he blames himself for his trauma, he sees himself as worthless and not one to be desired anymore because of what he went through. and realizing this, realizing that he actually has grown a desire to BE desired even just in a simple way to be needed (helping with falin) he finally can crack through that depression. the ptsd is still there, the physical disabilities are still there, but through surrounding himself with community of people with different views and trauma has helped him realize he is not broken and shouldn’t be blaming himself for something that was out of his control.

he wants to do new things, he wants to live now and it’s so beautiful to see.

plus, as kabru says here how the desires being eaten is not what it seems like is such an interesting fact. sure the demon ate his desires he had in that moment, making him believe he could never desire again but in fact he could get new desires (change/grow/heal) plus, traveling with kabru, he did show desires whether they be small or not.

in this moment he showed full horror about this memory. now if he was loss of desire, then he shouldn’t even desire to feel fear about this right? shouldn’t he only feel anger due to the revenge? which once again, shows his whole healing journey.

he’s such a great character with so much representation, and in turn is also a character that can show hope for someone like thistle who now is going through similar things and is practically hospitalized.

there is hope, you will heal, you are gonna be okay and your trauma is real but it does not shape you as a person, you are safe now.

dunmeshi is such a great depiction of that