This FUCKING Picture Of Schlatt Made Me WEAK IM DROPPING OUT. I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GET THE FUCK

like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

rip artie </3

you shall be missed o7

OKAY i was scrolling through some old posts of mine, and i saw the one where anon requested i continue midnight babysitting AND i think im gonna. (ps if you have any last minute requests PLEASE tell me and i’ll try to work them in <3)

also tagging other kai bcuz i thought they’d be excited <3 @bvnnyblood

hi kai :)

my sister says hi and that she gets your horny for slashers

Kai, tell your sister that she's the fucking bomb and that I hope she's gonna be alright.

mythosVA always reminded me of dan cooper

oh, you bet i’m going through this later

i’m testing this shit out

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

GUESS WHO FOUND ANOTHER CHARLIE FAMILIAR AUDIO

THIS IS SO GOODDD

I am in love

Okayyyy *Shakey breathing intensifies*

“Fuck, do that again”-EDWARD FUCKING MUNSON😮‍💨😮‍💨 im cumming

OMG IF TUMBLR DOESN’T STOP LOSING MY DRAFTS IM THROWING HANDS! An anon asked something along the lines of “what if reader and charlie come home from stab-a-thon and a drunk tall, reader starts crying that she’s not feminine enought and charlie gets really turned on by it and eats out reader?”

Too Tall

Charlie Walker x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Pussy eating, Mention of my favorite song, angst if you squint, self deprecating talk, praise, more talk of his stunning blue eyes (and the fact that he’s a short king 👑), crying, maybe slight dacryphilia, no use of y/n, taking pictures, not proofread

You stumbled over to the car and Charlie was right beside you. You looked over at your boyfriend and smiled sleepily.

“Thank you, Char.” You slurred as he opened the passenger door for you. He smiled and ran around to the other side as you got in. He started the car and you began the short drive to your house. You turned on the radio at some point in your drunken rambling and House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie came on.

“Your favorite song, right?” Charlie asked you, turning away from the road for a second. You nod happily and quietly sing along as you pull into your driveway. He pulls the key out of the ignition just before the chorus and you look up at him sadly.

“But….” You whine unhappily and slump as Charlie pulls you out of the car and towards your house.

“Do you have the key?” You search your pockets for a second, before getting distracted and rambling about how weird the word key is. He sighs with a smile and searches your pockets himself, finding it immediately.

He unlocks the door and you almost trip on the step inside. You look around as if you’ve never been here before.

“Whose house is this? ‘S nice…” He face palms and smiles endearingly at you.

“It’s your house…” Charlie brings you a cup of water from the kitchen and watches as you sit on the counter and gulp it down gratefully.

You laugh a little as you look at him. He gives you a confused stare as you laugh.

“You’re so pretty, Charlie. Your eyes are fffucking gorgeous. And you're so short, it’s so cute.” Your smile slowly drops as tears fill your eyes.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, why are we crying? What’s wrong?” Charlie immediately gets concerned and has to stand on his tippy toes to wipe the tears that start to fall, and this just makes you cry even more.

Through your sobs you manage to speak. “You’re- you’re just so perfect and I’m just some kinda tall, masculine freak. I wish i was as feminine as Jill…” You look down at the ground as Charlie shakes his head repeatedly.

“No! nonononono, baby, you aren’t a freak. You’re amazing. You have the best smile, and you make me happy every time I’m near you.” He reaches up and strokes your cheek

“You make my life so much better.” He smiles before it turns into a smirk. “Can I show you how much I love you?”

You nod, confused as to what his plans are. You immediately realize as he lifts your hips to pull off your pants and underwear. You gasp as your bare butt touches the cold counter. He sinks down onto his knees and kisses your inner thigh.

“You are amazing, and beautiful, and perfect, and kind.” He punctuates each word with a kiss further up your thigh.

“And I love you.” He kisses your bare core, making you shudder.

He smiled up at you as he kitten-licked your clit and you whined, rolling your hips into his face. He kissed your opening, licking your arousal off and sticking his tongue in.

You let out a shaky gasp and threw your head back, one hand threading into Charlie’s hair. He went up to your clit and sucked softly, making you tug on his hair. He let out a moan that vibrated against you. You moaned and looked down at him.

He winked at you from between your thighs, and you grabbed your phone and snapped a picture of the perfect sight. He slid his middle finger into your opening and you buck your hips into his hand, wanting more.

He slips in his ring finger and starts to finger you while licking and sucking sloppily at your clit. You let out moans and he does too as he thrusts his hips into his free hand.

“Ahh~ I’m gonna- oh shit… I’m gonna cum, Char!” You throw your head back and moan. He pulls away and you whine unhappily. “Why? Why did you stop?”

“I want you to tell me that you love yourself. I want you to tell me that you’re beautiful and not a freak.” He smiled up at you and kissed your thigh.

You took in a deep breath and spoke. “I am beautiful and I love myself.”

He started moving again really fast and you let out a high pitched moan and you gushed all over his fingers and his face. You relaxed in his hold as the shocks of your orgasm washed over you. He groaned into you as he came in his pants.

He stood up and kissed your forehead, bringing you to the bathroom to get cleaned up and go to bed.

Wow

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