I Just Hung Around The Wrong People!

There's yet another note from Muriel under my wipers. I was going to burn this one as well, but there was a CD with it. And while you can burn CDs as well, they actually smell. Smell bad.

So no burning today.

I can't however keep the CD. I don't have a flat anymore where I could keep it. And if it's inside the Bentley for too long it will just turn into another Queen album. That would - kind of - be the same as burning it, just without the smell.

However, I can't decide whether this song makes things better or worse.

Probably both.

I think, today is one of those driving around days.

I will drop the CD into the letter box at the bookstore tonight. The polite thing to do would be to leave a note with it. Something like: 'Thanks for lending this to me.'

The only problem is, I don't know how closely Heaven observes the bookshop. If they find notes from a demon in there, Muriel could get into big trouble. Can't have that. I'm somewhat relieved they didn't get into trouble for helping me uncover the truth about Gabriel.

Without a note, the CD will just be a CD. Nothing to get into trouble for.

Muriel will probably think me rude, but that's okay. Demons are supposed to be rude. I'd rather the little bee thinks me the rudest person on Earth, but doesn't get punished by Heaven for "fraternizing with the enemy" as angels call it.

@muriel-not-the-dim-one

Mr. Crowley 💔✨🪽

~Muriel looks outside the bookshop window, the Bentley parked in front of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. They didn’t think it was going to be this easy to give something to Mr. Crowley.~

The sun not yet coming up over Soho. The moonlight and fog causing the evening dew to glitter like diamonds on the Bentley in the soft street lamp glow.

They had found this a few days ago, only it was an LP, as Mr. Fell and Maggie called them. They were glad they hadn’t traded, but managed to order a CD from Maggie.

Wrapping it tightly in their meticulously handwritten note, they bravely walked out the front door, headed towards the Bentley.

The sunshine just cresting above the rooftops, cast thin rays of sunshine that colliding with the window of the car, caught the scarlet, carmine, and vermillion hues of Crowley’s hair as he slept. How could anything so beautiful ever be considered evil?

Quietly Muriel slipped the cd and note under the wiper of the Bentley, turned and hurried back into the bookshop.

A soft smile on their face, content they had done the right thing.

**Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

Then you should always know

Wherever you may go, no matter where you are

I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabies go on and on

They never die

That's how you and I will be**

**Transcribed by Muriel, 37th Scrivener**

Mr. Crowley, I found these wrapped within Mr. Fells journals. I thought you should have them. ✨🤍

Faithfully Yours,

AJC

@secretdiaryofcrowley

@aziraphalesdiaries

Things to Do Today

Slee.. oh, wait!

There's a missed call from Aziraphale on my phone.

Yes, that's his name on the display. Did they finally insist on giving him a mobile phone in heaven? Even if they did, how would my phone know that it's him? Wouldn't it just be Unknown Number?

The number connected to his name in my phone is the number of the bookshop. He no longer is in the bookshop. If he was in the bookshop, I would feel that he's on Earth. I no longer feel him on Earth, so he can't be on Earth and in the bookshop.

Phone, delete missed call.

Phone, delete contact Aziraphale.

Phone, block this number!

~ * ~

More Diary Parts:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17

Yours truly in a nutshell. 😈

#just crowley things (aziraphale)

GO unites people of different ages, genders, cultures, countries... There aren't many things that have such a universal language. Terry and Neil wrote a masterpiece, Michael and David made it real. I will never be grateful enough. In the midst of the rubbish of life and the world, it's so nice to find common ground with other people, beyond all barriers. Because this is what GO teaches: there should be no sides, we should simply try to be at peace with ourselves and others. I don't think it's a trivial message, I think it's powerful.

Things to Do Tonight

Drink

Get drunk.

Get very very drunk

Don't want to sit in a pub. Pub's full of people and if I miracle-shoo them all out, I will just draw attention to myself. Don't need that now. I draw enough attention as it is. I'm taking out the bottle, walk over the bridge and look at the Thames.

Pretty little stars in the water. Not the real thing, but still pretty. Glittering like anything.

Why does everyone always seem to know where my car is? I keep driving the Bentley around, don't want to stay in one place for too long. Other demons can spot me, of course. But these little notes and letters from Maggie and Nina and Muriel keep finding me, too.

Bla bla bla coffee. Bla bla bla talk. Bla bla bla we're here for you bla bla bla you don't have to go through this alone.

Go away. Just go away.

I've been on my own for 6000 years, I don't plan on changing that now. And least of all with humans who shouldn't be dragged into this. Friendship with humans never ends well, someone always gets turned into pillars of salt.

Or killed. One minute Kain's a baby pulling my hair and puking all over my robes, next thing, you know, he's an angry teenager smacking his brother with a stone. Broke Eve's heart. Should've stayed away.

And Muriel keeps writing about all the books they've been reading and keeps asking stuff about customers and taxes and stockkeeping and why would I know any of this? Nina and Maggie run shops, too, they're far better with these things.

Do you actually want to get in trouble with heaven, little bee? Can you even imagine what they could do to you for hanging out with a demon?

'M not stupid, you know, I know it's you trying to reach me from the bookshop's number. I can only hope Shax was too stupid to read any of your little notes, when she put my mail under the wipers. I don't think she has back channels to rat you out to heaven, but you never know.

Did the real stars look as glittery as their reflection in the water?

Whatever. You don't miss what you can't remember, right? If I wanted to see stars, I could just go watch a Disney movie.

Now where did I park the Bentley? Why does everyone always seem to know where my car is, except for me, myself and I?

"Hello Crowley."

No no no no no no, not you. Not you, too.

Why can't you just all go away and let me wallow in my misery?

~ * ~

More Diary Parts:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

This. *points at picture with a shaky hand*

I want my angel back so bad. 😭

Screw Heaven! Again.

I just want them to be happy again 😭

Another print choice for my Acid Rain tier in Patreon (extended into April since this was finished late)

Light So Heavenly

There is a GO project I wanted to share with you: This February, there was a very cool Good Omens Talent Show on @sendarya's Youtube channel.

There were lots of different categories, for example artwork, original songs, creatives and many many more. My Aziraphale @aziraphalesdiaries submitted a sonnet, which can be found on his youtube channel.

Another one of the categories was song parodies.

We wrote an entry for this one as well. Lyrics are mostly by me, edited by him. He did the recording and mixing of the song, I created the lyric video. Aziraphale's lines are sung by him, Crowley's by me.

The song contains our thoughts about the Final Fifteen, so be prepared for a bit of heartbreak.

As you might guess, "Light So Heavenly" is based on "Defying Gravity" from the musical Wicked.

Watch Light So Heavenly on Youtube.

Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated, on our blogs as well as on the video itself. Enjoy the song and leave us some love. Thank you.

"Back in 1941 when we were in the bookshop, there was this song playing on the radio that Aziraphale liked so much. Something about angels dining at the Ritz and a nightingale.

He still refused to dance with me, though, because well, angels don't dance.

A few days later, though, when I drove by the bookshop, I saw him dancing in there all alone by himself. His eyes were closed and he had this dreamy far-off expression on his face that he sometimes gets when he reads one of his favourite books or smells some very delicious food. I've also seen this expression when he listens to his favourite composers, but never before with a modern song.

So, angels do dance, they just do it when no one's looking. I suppose, the cat's not dead as long as no one opens the box.

The very same song was playing on the radio again. Of course, I couldn't hear it through the windows of the bookshop, but I had the radio turned on in the car.

Some time after the war, when the song stopped being famous and wasn't played on the radio anymore, I sent Aziraphale a record of it. He never mentioned it, but he must have known it was from me because he said something about dining at the Ritz in a conversation we had a few years later.

Actually, the song isn't even about angels dining at the Ritz, that's just a figure of speech. It's about two lovers who spend one magical night with each other, but for some reason, they can't stay together and have to say goodbye in the morning.

I have the head canon that at some point, I like to think 1941, Crowley tried to slow dance with Aziraphale. He just got caught up in the moment and the music, extended their hand and said something like ‘may I have this dance’ or something like that. In response Aziraphale, even though he wanted to with every fibre of his celestial being, only sat up straight,cleared his throat and said ‘ Crowley, you know quite well that angels don’t dance’ and Crowley sat down again.

That’s why Crowley says‘you don’t dance’ at the ball.

Phone, delete contact "Aziraphale"!

~*~

More Diary Parts:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

Trying to talk to Maggie and to Muriel – Attempt Nr.2

Hi Maggie, please tell Muriel to come over to the record shop, so that I need to say this only once: Stop trying to talk to me, the both of you. Stop sending me notes, stop trying to call me, just stop doing anything about me. I am not your friend and never will be.

There, you have it. Nice and short.

The only problem is, if I put it like that, Maggie will probably cry and Nina will give me her angry face again. And Muriel will look at me with those big brown eyes and think it’s their fault. And perhaps cry, too.

Enough! No more crying. I’m sick of blowing my nose all the time. It gets all red and blotchy. Why do noses always have to run when you cry! Major design flaw if you ask me. But I forgot, you are not asking, @the-almighty-god. You’re just playing your ineffable game. Next time, please play Dungeons & Dragons with us. At least that one has uhm…. dungeons and dragons and elves and Bags of Holding in it. I would quite like a Bag of Holding, then I could’ve kept all of my plants when Hell kicked me out of my flat.

Okay, next try: Hi Maggie and Muriel. I can’t be your friend because I don’t do friendships. Bye.

That one’s so short, I could actually write it on a card. Maybe I should, then I don’t have to talk to them. But Nina was very specific about this one. If you don’t want friends, you have to tell people to go away and you have to do it in person. Writing will not do, texting will not do, and simply going away until they forget about you will not do either. That one least of all.

Nina says, the truth is painful, but at least they’ll have a clean cut and they can start to heal. They can’t when I just leave them hanging. No closure.

Hi Maggie and Muriel. I don’t want to be your friend because I’m scared. Scared that I’ll get hurt when I open up to someone. Scared that you’ll get hurt, when Heaven and Hell start doing their thing again and we all get caught in the crossfire.

No, by ‘the truth’ I didn’t mean ‘that much truth’.

Just the clean cut. The one we never got to have. First, I walked out, then he walked away. We never sorted anything out. Did he leave because he chose Heaven over me? Did he leave because he chose Heaven for me? Did we break up? How can we break up if we aren’t even together? Are we still friends, or is everything over for good?

What does he want with Heaven? Does he truly believe, he can make a difference? Was it just an excuse to get away? Why did he kiss me back and then told me, he forgives me? Did he even listen to anything I said?

Why suddenly dance with me at the ball when he refused to dance with me back in 1941 when I asked him to? Why does he want me to be an angel again? Am I not okay for him the way I am? Does he even want to be “an us”, or did he at least want it before everything went down the drain? Does he still think about me as he is up there, doing God knows what?

Is he thinking of me right now? Perhaps this very moment?

I slam on the brakes and let the Bentley spin to the right, so the car behind me passes by without hitting me. The driver yells something rude, but I’m not listening to him. My mind is full of questions and I can’t answer a single one of them.  

No closure. No clean cut. Just pain.

I can’t heal because I’m left hanging. I can’t move on with my life because I don’t know what’s there to move on to and what there isn't. Is he still a part of this life or is he gone for good?

I’m on hold. I’m on hold like a human on a phone who doesn’t know if they should hang up or if they should wait for the conversation to continue. When Beelzebub came to talk to me about Gabriel, I understood immediately what was going on with them. Why can I not understand what is going on with us?

Again Nina’s words: “But then, other people’s love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own.”

I start the Bentley’s engine again, but before I can bring my foot down, I freeze.

“Hello, traitor.”

 No literal freezing. Just a jumpscare.

“I was going to pull you down to my new office, as it seems befitting for my new position. But you’re so miserable already, I didn’t want to drag you out of your safe space. Besides, Hell doesn’t need to know about our little talk, do they?”

~*~

More Diary Parts

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19

@aziraphalesdiaries @muriel-not-the-dim-one