About A Year And Half Ago I Wrote A Song About An Incredible Story, The Story Of A Girl Who Always Lived

About a year and half ago I wrote a song about an incredible story, the story of a girl who always lived on the outside, looking in. Figuratively and literally. The juxtaposition of her loneliness and independence. Her longing and her stillness. Her curiosity and fear, all tangled up. Her persisting gentleness… and the world’s betrayal of it. I wrote this one alone in the middle of the night and then Aaron Dessner and I meticulously worked on a sound that we felt would be authentic to the moment in time when this story takes place. I made a wish that one day you would hear it. ‘Carolina’ is out now 🥺

http://taylor.lnk.to/Carolina

More Posts from Screamingandcrying22 and Others

3 years ago
Casual Evening In The Dorms

casual evening in the dorms

2 years ago

the thing about Commander Cody that makes me so absolutely insane is not just how shockingly kind he is- it’s the fact that he’s so kind and tender even though he was never afforded that growing up.

like, none of the clones were, obviously, but Cody even as an Imperial does nothing but talk in gentle tones to citizens and reassured them that he’s only trying to help and does every single thing he POSSIBLY can to avoid bloodshed.

Even With Separatists.

he was never demonstrated with that level of kindness until far, far into his life, and yet it’s his core trait. he’s a good person to the bone and he did that by himself. it’s incredible. he truly does embody the Sun despite growing up on a planet that always rains.

2 years ago

Just watched Rebels s3e5 and Rex thinking the Clone Wars haven't ended and i m m e d i a t e l y saying "Cody" gave me fucking whiplash

3 years ago

“slow-burn” “friends to lovers” “childhood friends” like just say youre demiromantic and move on

2 years ago

I'm choosing to believe David is NOT dead until i literally see his dead body on my screen.

2 years ago

Behold, the Domino Twins

Behold, The Domino Twins
Behold, The Domino Twins

Absolute finest troopers!

2 years ago

ohhohoho Cody. Big fucking scary commander of the 212th. Marshal Commander. Highest rank a clone can hold. Nasty fucking scar curling around his brow. Spin-kicks droids, dog-piled Grievous, gave Slick an uppercut that knocked him out of a monologue about personal choice and freedom into next Tuesday. Lead the assault on Utapau. That's the guy .

the guy who painted a sun on his armor. Who, in 2003TCW and RotS, is shown constantly having dumb fucking banter with his general. "When have I ever let you down?" / "I think you'll be needing this." / "YESSIR WE'RE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE" he's way funnier than people give him credit for

A sun. He has a sun on his armor. There was a point in his life where he saw a sun for the first time, which is a curious (mis)fortune, and decided that that'd be him. A sun. After years of Kamino's white lab-lights . Years of sameness on Kamino, the clones get sent out and the jedi let them. Paint their armor. Have this shell mean something. And the first thing he thinks of is a little orange sun

They didn't NEED to have a named clone with a sun painted on his armor and two (2!) antennas attached to it in Revenge of the Sith OR TCW ('03). They didn't need to give him lines that endeared us to him like that, for as little screentime as he had .But they did

2 years ago

I take back everything I said about season 1. It was a masterpiece actually. Season 2 made me realize it's worth 🥲

2 years ago

"I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you."

Okay. I don’t usually make serious posts, but I felt like this was something worth discussing. Now the episode hasn’t even been out a full day, and I’m already coming across a few people fretting that Tech is going to get ‘called out’ by others for being a ‘dick’ over the way he pointedly questioned Omega “what is your issue” and the way he has been at continuous loggerheads with Wrecker.

Now I know there has been a lot of ‘if’ing and ‘r’ing about the confirmation of Tech being autistic, whether it’s a canon thing or whether it’s just up for us to decide and interpret. Well I’m here to say that I think this is possibly the biggest indicator we have had for Tech most certainly having autism. A common condition that people with autism can have as a facet in their characteristics is that of alexithymia: problems with feeling/expressing emotions.

I’m no psychiatrist by any stretch of the imagination and I certainly don’t claim to speak on the behalf of every autistic person (that would actually be impossible seeing as the web of characteristics/conditions is incredibly diverse) but as an autistic person myself, I can tell you the way Tech has been acting in this episode is completely understandable and valid. It hasn’t been pleasant or very helpful for his siblings, but it is understandable nevertheless.

By nature, Tech has always favoured taking a methodical, logic-fuelled approach to situations in order to derive a conclusion/solution. He has rarely found himself caught in a situation where this approach does not yield a sure-fire course of action, where complex emotions are involved (hence why he mentions Crosshair here because this is potentially the only other situation he can liken the emotional turmoil to). It is common for alexithymic people to have outbursts of frustration when they find they cannot adequately register the intense emotions of others or in turn express their own in a way that is understandable to their peers, such as upset, grief and confusion. In lieu of Echo’s sudden leave, the whole Batch, Tech included, are probably feeling all three at this moment in time.

This explains his tendency throughout the episode to lash out and argue with his siblings, notably Wrecker, rather than take the generic, empathetic approach of talking out his emotions with them and going through the motions together (simply because as previously said, he is incapable of this). I can tell you that this must very isolating for Tech in a time more than ever when all he would want is comfort and reassurance also. This doesn’t register with the rest of the Batch because Tech’s own emotional strains are not being generically expressed due to his own separate set of neurological circumstances. Albeit they are not recognising his own internal struggles.

Tech is caring and protective of his siblings, there should be no doubts about this. He can see the impact the Empire has had on the Batch and how it has now effectively caused two of their brothers to leave the fold. Albeit, he is more than foresightful enough to see how small and fragile the Batch has become and the trepidation of this could very well all but be fuelling his frustrations. There is every chance he is experiencing his own sense of loss and abandonment through all of this, while still trying to be rational and level-headed one of the team. I believe that for the first time, we actually see Tech struggling to come to terms that he is officially out of his depth in this area and therefore is out of control in the situation, a concept very alien and disconcerting for him. Throw in a still-cognitively-developing child, a headstrong, very emotional, child-like individual with adhd and a team leader that is very prone to characterological self-blame and emotional withdrawal on the back of this, and I would say Tech has still been managing everything remarkably well, all other variables considered.

I am really glad that they are showing these characteristics to us within this dynamic where the Batch do consider each other family and therefore pull together and get through whatever crap the galaxy throws at them. It is these traits and tendencies that are projected by Tech in this episode that are a very common reason autistic people are scorned, ridiculed and segregated off by their peers irl. Even though we cannot generically express it, we deeply appreciate those that stick by us and try to understand us during periods of emotional uncertainty, disarray and stress.

It touches me to see that despite the Batch not always being able to see eye-to-eye with Tech and vice versa, they will still accept each other for who they are, quirks and all, and love each other. I only wish people could learn from this

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screamingandcrying22 - State of Grace
State of Grace

she/her | lover of shedding tears over black lines on paper/phone screens | swiftie | whovian | don’t have a personality beyond loving to read and listening to taylor swift | psychology major that doesn’t understand her own actions |

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