Hi! My Mum And I Had A Conversation In The Car Where I Mentioned How Funny I Found This Bit, Because

and ends when it was cold but it wasn't winter yet

the story starts when it was hot and it was summer

YES YES YES deffo babes!!

are you attracted to these fine specimen of pretty boys?

oH MY GOD I LOVE THIS-

AJSKDFHAKSJDFHAKLJSF

aaaaaaaaaaah, if we could choose our parents i would have chosen them!!!!!!! ik its a sick thing to say, but trust me you'd say the same if you didnt luck out in that department!

Potters, 1981

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

most of the time when i read a male author trying to create a female character, i see the same fucking plot or the same fucking story (even when its a poem) all she does is think abt her potential boyfriend or husband!

im so sick of this!

but they just JUST kissseeeeeeeeeed!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!!!

WHY WOULD THE SCREENWRITERS PUT US THROUGH THIS TORTURE!!!!!!!

WHY DID EDDDYYY LEAVEE??? WHY DIDN'T STEDE MEET HIM AT THE SPOT?????

i mean i know the answers to these ofc, BUT OH GAWD-

*double heart eyes*

@the2headedcalf / On Love, Alain de Botton /  @tilthat / Céline Sciamma / Twitter: Nightshiftmp3 / Twitter: Thepartypope / Portrait of a Lady on Fire / The Clean House, Sarah Ruhl / The History of the Band-Aid / weird-facts.org / @roses–and–rue

just.....just lOoK at tHAt....... :) <33

Don't you just love Zayn Malik?

His brightest star I wanted to draw Sirius in casual clothes.

oh gawd he is hawt!

OG drama queen Sirius Black