But They Just JUST Kissseeeeeeeeeed!!!!!

"Co-captain?"

lily evans potter: womanhood, motherhood & morality

lily as the dream girl in canon and fan spaces

i want to talk about this while there isn't a current upsurge in the discourse

Lily Evans Potter is introduced to us as Lily Potter, the dead mother of Harry Potter. Lily and James potter, dead, leaving their poor, miraculous son to live with the dull, horrible Durselys. We only ever see her through, with the exception of her sister, the memory of men.

I've said before that I believe James and Lily are the ideal masculine and ideal feminine, both to Harry and in a metatextual way. parents are our introduction into gender roles, the "correct" way to be a man and woman. since Lily is dead she cannot disappoint Harry. she can be imagined as the perfect woman, which is, of course, a wife and mother. the dream girl!

Lily's death makes her a silent, ever-loving, beautiful young mother, for both Harry and the reader. James is slightly deconstructed in SWM, but Lily is not. She is a fierce protector, brave, clever, and only emotional (angry) once James, her future husband, provokes her enough.

in the text Lily is not truly presented as flawed in a meaningful way. the moral choices she makes: to build a relationship with Severus, to defend Severus, to break their relationship when he refuses to reject bigotry, to join the Order, to die for her child, are all the correct moral choices. these are the choices the narrative is telling us to respect.

women have, for the past 200 years or so, been conceived of as the moral center of the family.* Lily Evans Potter is the moral center of the series. her choice to die is mirrored by the main character, Harry, and sparks the beginning of victory. Harry's sacrifice is enabled by another mother, Narcissa, making the correct moral choice because the power of her maternal love urges her to this choice. finally, Voldemort's most powerful follower, Bellatrix, is killed by a housewife and mother, Molly, in a maternal rage at the idea of her daughter being murdered.

Lily's sacrifice and the emotions behind it are mirrored multiple times in the final battle because it and she are the moral center of the series.

that Harry is frequently told he has his mother's eyes, and that Dumbledore points out how his essential nature mirrors his mother's, further highlights Lily's character and her choices as implicitly good.

women, especially mothers, as our moral authorities, is an unconscious cultural belief we can see play out in the fandom and subfandoms that Lily is discussed in. we can all recall the characterization of Lily as the goody-two shoes that James has to change for, the characterization of Lily as "not like other girls", the BAMF characterization, the current near mommy dom to James characterization.

the characterization of Lily changes with our view of the best kind of woman. but she is, always, demonstrating a most "correct" way to be. maybe it's 2007 and she's telling James off—not fun, but right. or it's 2012 and she's not preoccupied with boys like her classmates. or it's 2019 and she always knows the right thing to say to Remus when he's down on himself. or it's 2025 and James is trailing after her like a puppy while she contemplates what size strap to use on him after she beats up a bigot.

We don't see a lot of moderate views on Lily. Above, I've discussed how Lily lovers tend to portray her. Lily haters, a smaller group from what I can tell, do not utilize these common fanon characterizations. They disparage her as an immoral, selfish, bad woman. The wholesale rejection of Lily as the moral center based on her perceived immorality is the other side of the coin.

I'll refer to people with this perspective as "Lily haters" though I am aware there are people who dislike her outside of the topics I'm discussing.

I rarely engage with Lily haters, though I am aware of their arguments that Lily was a bad friend to Severus, a social climber, a gold digger, or boring. All grave sins for the woman who's supposed to save everyone.

This perspective doesn't reject Lily as the moral center or the perfect woman, it is an argument that she's not fulfilling her role correctly. Her unwillingness to give Severus more chances is selfish, stuck-up, classist. Her desire for James is an further betrayal of Severus.

She's supposed to be the Madonna, why is she being a whore?

I believe Lily hate comes from a belief she failed at being the perfect woman/mother, and therefore she is worthless. A bitch. Weak willed. Oversexed. even by haters her role as the moral center is not questioned.

in both the og text and in the fandom supertext Lily is the moral center because of her role as mother. her status as the moral center is inextricably tied to her motherhood. since Lily being a mother is the point of her character, divorcing her from her motherhood often changes the foundation of her character.**

when her literal motherhood is removed from a depiction of her character, her metaphorical status as the perfect woman/mother is often still intact. this is seen in the characterizations I described earlier, and, I argue, in the belief that she's too good for James when it is used as a "justification" for shipping James with someone else.*** thereby, she is further purified, not even having been touched by a man. she's put on a pedestal, where she can't be touched, and is rarely noticed.

it is also frequently seen when she is written as a side character in a relationship with James, and the pair become the dual moral guides for the main couple.

this reflects James and Lily as the ideal masculine and feminine, as they are a perfectly harmonious couple when a side pairing. their implicit canonical roles are subconsciously reflected in fanon with little critique or commentary on the canon text.

Lily's entire character is crafted to be The Perfect Mother™️. whether she is literally a mother in her fanon depiction or not, she is still The Perfect Woman™️—and is still affected by the biases our culture has towards women and mothers.

thus, Lily is the dream girl in the text, the moral center only seen through a nostalgic veil, and a dream girl in fan spaces, as the moral guide for the men in her life who pegs her husband or is too pure for the touch of a man.

for more on gender in the wizarding world, based on gender in early modern england (pre the cult of domesticity) see this post

*see the cult of domesticity if you'd rather not read the article

**please like fucking do not fucking act like I'm saying you cannot do this. I swear to fucking god

***you don't need to justify your ships

A.M.E.N!

J.K… even fictional characters think that Remus is gay. How can you even deny it at this point?

when two musicians sing into the same microphone and lean in very close to each other… like omg are you guys gonna kiss now to relieve the homoerotic tension?😳

Wolfstar Raises Harry Fic Rec/TBR

Below is a list with links to fanfics that focus on or include Sirius and Remus raising Harry, all of these are completed (cause I’m too impatient) and will be a mix of fics i have read or that i want to read. Organised by word count smallest to longest.

TW fics will include Harry’s abuse from the Dursleys.

Here’s the link to my other recs and TBR’s Harry Potter Fic List (mostly Drarry)

Raising Harry - mm5729

Domestic fluff, slice of life, fist full moon with Harry | G | 652

Up To No Good - dramaticwitchbitch

Harry learns his first swear word, alt universe, domestic fluff | Not rated | 1k

That’s My Moony - toofadedtofight

Possessive Sirius, discussions of grief, black family tapestry, Wolfstar explaining nicknames to 4 year old Harry | G | 1.7k

Family doesn’t give up, harry - paintblob

Protective Sirius, Vernon gets decked, Wolfstar rescue harry from Dursleys, this is also apart of 2 part series | G | 2.7k

& home & home & home (or, a time loop) - decemberista

Time loop, alt timelines, time travel fix-it, bring back Black, bittersweet, Marauders Era | T | 3.1k

Raising the boy who lived - hufflepuffchaos

A small series, hurt/comfort, good reacher, domestic fluff, Dursley bashing, slice of life | G | 3.7k

A world for us - a_threereasonswhy

Daily prophet headlines, angst, everyone needs a hug, Sirius is bad at feelings, drinking | T | 3.3k

Make it up, fall in love, try - astrolupins

Established Wolfstar, panic, vomiting, Remus fights for fair trial, Sirius is freed, raising harry implied but not in fic | M | 4.1k

This is my family - Patriceavril

Canon divergence, Sirius is free, Christmas, fluff and angst, families of choice, nightmares | T | 7.3k

Another Cheese Sandwich - Notawriter_17

Christmas, domestic fluff, Harry leaves Dursley family, fluff and angst | Not rated | 8.8k

My Anonymous Wolfstar Fics

Anonymous collection of small fics, def recommend ‘Moony and the Wolf’, child Harry, pre and during Hogwarts, fluff, past child abuse, explaining werewolves to harry | T | 10.3k

Baby On Board - aqua_myosis for MsAlexWP

Fluff, mpreg, non-explicit sex, overbearing Sirius, preggers Remus | E | 12k

(The Anatomy of an) Accidental necromancy - roseemma, rosemaldrge (roseemma)

Halloween 1981, POV Remus, hurt no comfort, Sirius free from Azkaban, fanart | Not rated | 13.5k

Rhythm & Blues - lez_writes13

Sirius is freed, heals with Remus, time to get Harry, sign language, domestic fluff, angst, memory loss, hurt/comfort | T | 18.8k

Beautiful boy (darling boy) - roaming_the_greenwood1

Friends to lovers, book 4, trans Remus, Sirius accidentally knocks up Remus, happy ending, kid fic, coparents to lovers, pining | M | 67.9k

Folklore Chronicles - throughthemist

A series of small fics about Wolfstar first meeting and adopting Harry when he’s hogwarts age, canon divergence, Sirius gets a trial | T | 189.7k

Soft Christmas Drabbles: masterlist

Ficmas became my entire personality, here is all the things in one convenient area, in case you missed one or in case you want to re-read again

all is calm, all is bright- post-full moon christmas's arent so bad.

sweaty hands, full heart, can't lose- sirius meets the lupins.

its a wonderful life -sirius/remus watching Christmas movies. raising harry au

the best present - sirius learns to knit. wolfstar/raising harry au

a letter to you - remus gives sirius a gift. wolfstar @ hogwarts

grandmas cookies - on grief, love, and baking. wolfstar/raising harry au

traditions - lily and sirius have a christmas tradition of their own. (lilypad friendship fic)

do you not want to kiss me (pt 1) - jily, under the mistletoe

do you not want to kiss me (pt 2)- jily and a first kiss.

are we going to do this then?- jily, under the mistletoe, take two

good things take time - soft christmas moment with sirius/harry, raising harry au

ghosts - sirius drinks with ghosts...and his godson.

simply the best - lily convinces sirius to go to the slug club party with her. lily and sirius friendship fic.

a room of ones own- remus and harry surprise sirius for christmas.

— august, tathève simonyan

[text ID: promises made by june / had rotten / by the time august came. / i’ve mistaken silence with nothingness / and unlearning it asks for courage / i know not how to muster. / this half-empty glass of orange juice, / ever-present on its throne of dust, / on this wooden table, / holds more promise than i ever will. / i, a personified you, for this is not a wall but a mirror / [personified] / i, i mean you, i mean [redacted] / you eat the sun and with your burnt tongue / try to sing songs / not about pain. / don’t you? / in july / [i] you tried to stretch the rare / moments of happiness but our feet / always seemed to stay out of the / blanket / uncovered. / how do i love something without / fully succumbing to it? / you thought you had to die for you to live, didn’t you? / you thought there’s always a spring after a winter / you didn’t think that / this vivaldian symphony hadn’t been written for bodies like ours, . did you? / in july / you didn’t know that loneliness is a crowded town / yet /  it’s always been bestowed upon you / to lock the gates / and turn off the lights / every night, / did you? / june made promises it knew it couldn’t keep. / but i shall be wiser / in august.]

i want to gorge on my wolfstar daily consumption but I cant :(

When will my husband (Ao3) return from war (is up again)

Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3

but oh that 2%!

I am genuinely, about 98% sure, that I will never experience true, permanent happiness.