11 Days More Y'all......gear Up Swiftiesz!!

hi! i wanna know what you think about maddie saying "its only the beginning" is it like beginning of the @buse cycle cassie will probably experience with nate or something else

hiiiiii

well, if we take it literally then yeah ofc definitely what you said. however, i cant help but think....

1. it might be maddie saying 'oh bitch you aint seen nothing yet'! some reputation era revenge shit.

2. it might be maddie saying how everything will get out of control and soon cassie wont have any control over her actions and that getting up on stage thing was only the beginning.

3. orrrr this one's my favourite, it could be the writers telling US, that this is just the beginning and there's more to come in s3, hehe :))

hope you have a nice day/night :))

4. We both think David Bowie is a wizard! (ATYD ref, suck it if you dont get the ref!)

5. leather jackets and combat boots+tight black jeans are our thang!!

6.We both are dramatic bitches.

thank you

oh and add on dudes-

Shit I've in common with Sirius Black

1. We're both gay.

2. We're both a disgrace to our families.

3. We both are completely and utterly in love with Remus Lupin.

(Add on, if you have any)

- James's birthday was an elaborate affair. Everyone James had ever spoken to, looked at, breathed in the direction of, was invited to celebrate his birthday (and not just for posterity or formality; because James genuinely noticed when so and so from Ravenclaw who gave him a spare quill once wasn't around for the festivities. James would apologize the next day for not including them). James's birthday might as well have been a holiday at Hogwarts it was so widely celebrated. With something active and engaging planned by Sirius. Like the year he turned the grounds by the Black Lake into a makeshift seaside, covering the grounds with sand and lawn chairs. Everyone played Beach Volleyball that year, a school-wide tournament, James grinning from ear to ear even as the sun went down and the colder temperatures set in. No one complained of too much activity or opted out of playing on James's birthday. They just did.

- Sirius's birthday used to look like James'. For the first few years. Because what better way to know how loved you were than having everyone you've ever met come celebrate you? Admire you? Pay attention to you on a day that was usually wasn't acknowledged at all. Other than a milestone--a year closer to being of age, of being a proper heir. The first few years, it was loud and obnoxious. A disruption that Sirius didn't even want in the first place but thought he should have. The last few years...weren't. The numbers dwindled as Sirius realized having a lot of people he didn't care about wasn't nearly as great as having a few people he did. Birthdays became smaller at fifteen--but were still filled with loud music, and alcohol and the fattest joints Remus could roll. Parties that went until well past midnight, James stifling yawns behind his hand, the night ending looking up at the stars, just as Sirius liked to do.

-Remus's birthday? The quietest, the slowest, the joy of doing nothing. The only day of the year James and Sirius didn't get up at the crack of dawn and stayed in bed until they had to get up for class. When Remus's birthday fell on weekend, it was an entire day, made up of blanket forts and too much smoke coming out of the Gryffindor tower window. Snacks and sweets and plenty of coffee in bed, three heads for one pillow, sharing a flask, giggling, and shooting the shit until the sun went down. Sirius didn't worry about the crumbs on the bedsheets, James didn't start fidgeting and trying to think of something to do. They just were. Dozing in and out of sleep, waking up to repeat the process. Remus's birthday was a slow day. A slow spinning record. Long cuddles. Wishes made on candles that burned far too long because Remus took forever to think of something he could possibly want that wasn't right there in front of him already.

Hi! My mum and I had a conversation in the car where I mentioned how funny I found this bit, because I had read it as Anathema thinking that she had, in fact, just been run over by a very campy gay couple, and a campy gay couple wouldn't harm her. But my mum read this as Anathema, who she thought could feel that Crowley was a demon, realizing that she was also in the presence of an angel, and an angel wouldn't harm her. And I guess I just wanted to know which was the intended message?

The version that Terry and I had in mind when we wrote it was the former.

summary of act 1

!!!!

on my knees BEGGING for dorlene ff recs cause ever since i’ve caught up on thtf i’ve been craving a fix

ngl i am also on my knees begging 🤧 i have not yet found like a longer multi ch dorlene fic that i personally vibe with so if anyone has recs please send them my way!! in the meantime here are my favorite dorlene single ch fics/oneshots

Hey Dorcas by moonymoment on ao3 (@blurryayse)

14k words, beautifully written friends to lovers fic that follows marlene + dorcas at hogwarts slowly growing together and falling in love. v sweet and good if you want a happy ending!!

let the ghosts sleep tonight by outlaw_baby on ao3 (if anyone happens to know whether they have a tumblr pls lmk so i can tag them!)

7k words, gut-wrenchingly poetic fic about dorcas and marlene getting together during the first wizarding war. rewired my brain chemistry but super heavy on the angst

As The Light Disperses by blanketed_in_stars on ao3 (@blanketed-in-stars)

4k words, following dorcas and marlene’s relationship during the first wizarding war. also beautifully written, also very heavy on the angst

marlene mckinnon is not a coward. by AllThisAndLoveTooWillRuinUs on ao3 (@wishingitwerewolfstar)

6k words, also following marlene and dorcas during the first wizarding war so there is once again plenty of angst but this one has a slightly happier ending 💕

sweet as rot by vaindumbass on ao3 (again, if anyone happens to know their tumblr pls lmk!!)

7.3k words, au where dorcas and marlene are the ones to kill peter and go to azkaban instead of sirius. super super heavy angst but i love the writing it cracked me like an egg and scrambled me in a pan

‘81 by an anonymous ao3 user

4.7k words, au where marlene survived the war but everything else stayed the same, so it’s not dorlene so much as marlene figuring out how to move on after dorcas’s death which…yeah heavy angst once again lol (but beautifully written, of course 💕)

as a fellow bi indian this actually means so much to me!!!!!! i have heard abt this "western influence" so much that there was a time i was afraid to even admit i was bi, even to myself. so, thank you :)

actually yknow what shoutout to indian lgbt kids. to indian lesbian kids, to indian gay kids, to indian bi kids, to indian trans kids, to indian nonbinary kids, to indian ace and aro kids. you’re not under “western influence,” i promise you, there have been lgbt people throughout our history, you’re wonderful and perfect and you deserve the world. ilysm.

nothing makes me cry like the embankment tube station voiceover story !!! nothing !!!!!!!

break me!!! why dont you-

The Best Worst Thing to Have Ever Happened pt. 1

An AU in which James/Lily are somehow still alive, and Harry chooses to continue living with Sirius and Remus. (this one doesn't hurt, not so much; similar to Fault Lines, it will also be posted in installments on tumblr because it's just a dribble.)

"What's it like to be living my life, Sirius?"

--

June 1995

Sirius had always been susceptible to things that went bump in the night. Remus joked that Sirius didn’t know the meaning of a good nights sleep and had been saying it for years. But usually, when Sirius sat bolt right up in bed, a chill running down his spine and heart racing, it was nothing. Black magic was just particularly paranoid and sensed every movement.

Every noise.

Every unwanted whisper.

“Sirius, go back to sleep…” Remus mumbled next to him when Sirius had reached out to grab his husband’s shoulder, communicating a sense of urgency. A fire when there wasn’t even a spark. Remus had become an expert at navigating the imaginary emergencies and quieted anxiety half-asleep.

Sirius sat still though, listening and hoping to narrow in on magical or muggle.

A lost postman.

A stray animal--that had happened before.

But there was nothing.

Still, he kept his hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Baby…” Remus rolled over to face Sirius, one eye cracking open a sliver, “Everything is fine.”

“I…don’t know.”

“Do you hear something?”

“No.” Sirius felt Remus’s hand snake out from underneath the covers, placing it gently on Sirius’s chest. He was sure his husband could feel his racing heart, a breath away from taking off his shirt just for more space. “It’s just a feeling.”

“What kind of feeling?”

“Like…something terrible is going to happen today. Or…not terrible…I don’t know.”

Remus shifted, moving out of the cocoon of blankets realizing Sirius wasn’t as quick to settle this time around. More awake than he wanted to be at four in the morning, but climbed on top of Sirius’ lap nonetheless.

It was a faint buzzing.

This feeling.

A paralyzing sort of ache that made Sirius want to stay in bed, his mind drafting a letter into work for why he couldn’t have the hearing today. Everything was going to have to wait until the feeling passed and Sirius was sure the sun would come up. Right now he wasn’t so sure.

“You get these feelings every year just before Harry comes home.” Remus’s face was mostly shadows, eyes catching hazy morning light every so often, but otherwise Sirius was looking into darkness. If it wasn’t for Remus’s body on top of his, he might have drifted there altogether. “Every year it’s fine, right?”

“Yeah. Mostly. He’s getting taller and moodier so... I dunno if that’s fine.”

“It’s not terrible.”

“No.”

“Might just have to trust me, love. It’s just a feeling.”

“I…” Sirius sighed, “No, you’re right.”

“No, tell me.”

“It feels like magic. Like someone’s trying to get in here…except not…really. Do you feel it at all?”

“No,” Remus shook his head, “I’m sorry.”

It was probably nothing. Just like every year, when he felt the feeling and it had been nothing then.

Remus usually could pick up traces of magic if there were any to be found, even without Black magic.

“It’ll pass?” asked Sirius.

“I think so.” Remus nodded and brushed his fingers through the dark curls that were sticking to Sirius’s forehead from sweat. “I love you.”

“One more time.”

“I love you,” Remus repeated without hesitation, coaxing Sirius back down in bed.

The feeling didn't pass, though Sirius managed to get out of bed, disappearing to his desk at the ministry hoping to drown out lingering worry with legal procedures. Until mid-afternoon when a patronus came.

A report to the ministers office.

Wizarding council robes swirling around his ankles, wondering if this was the day that Sirius would lose his job for saying bullshit instead of objection in a hearing room.

Remus was there as well when Sirius arrived in front of the Minister’s office.

Harry.

Sirius knocked, and the door opened by magic, two people already seated in front of the minister and Albus Dumbledore.

Messy jet black hair that didn’t belong to his fourteen year old.

A violent swear from his husband.

“I should’ve stayed in bed…” Sirius muttered, the door behind them shutting as the minister invited both of them to take a seat next to Lily and James.

--

James couldn’t talk about it. What had happened.

James would start and immediately stop and Sirius wasn’t sure if it was because there was magic involved preventing him from doing so or too much weight behind the words. His tongue not strong enough to carry it, or not willing to pass it off to someone else.

Knowing James, it was probably the latter.

Sirius didn’t ask him to explain after a third attempt. There was no pressure, even as the sun started to come up and it was made clear that James wasn’t going to just vanish into the light. It wasn’t an odd fever dream. It wasn’t like the other times Sirius had gotten drunk off his arse and made-up conversations with his best friend in nearly the same spot. Sirius kept unconsciously reaching a hand out to touch James’ face as he spoke; kept his eyes open afraid that if he blinked James would disappear again. But James would just smile--that stupid wide one he had seen on his kid for the past fifteen years; the one he had missed the most on days dark clouds rolled in and promised nothing but storms--and return the touch, warm hand touching Sirius’ face. And how could Sirius make that up? How could he make up Lily’s obnoxious cackle from the next room as she talked with Remus?

If it was a fever dream, it was a really fucking good one.

Sirius would gladly let whatever illness this was consume him if it meant he could have his best friend next to him for the rest of his days.

James looked older than when they had last seen each other, more facial hair too, Sirius remembering teasing James to no end when it took him three months to get anything that resembled a five o’clock shadow. James had been so proud.

Sirius wondered if James was proud this time around, even if no one was around to share it with him.

Of course, Sirius looked older too. They all did after…after surviving a war and doing their parts to rebuild themselves in a world that had opened wide and swallowed them all whole.

“Don’t…be mad at anyone,” James squinted up at the sunlight,

“I’ve been mad at Dumbledore since he let me spend a night in Azkaban…” Sirius muttered, “Being angry at him for this is just another reason.”

“You’re right. I’m impressed you haven’t killed him yet.”

“Shouted at him? Definitely. I’ve tried to get him sacked a handful of times too but…I’ll settle for having the board micromanage him…” Sirius grinned softly, “This doesn’t feel real.”

“Lily stopped me from writing so many times just to say that we were okay…so many times, Pads, you have to believe me, I tried.”

“I would’ve tried too.” Sirius swallowed, “I’m not mad at you. Least of all.”

Sirius left out the part where he had spent a whole month angry at a person who was no longer living because they had left him.

How dare you leave me like this?

What about me?

What am I supposed to do without you?

Sirius had figured it out--how to live in a world without his best friend who had loved him when he thought it wasn’t possible--after years of scrambling and searching for dry land.

“You’re different,” James told him, “I think…same but different.” A not quite comfortable silence enveloped them.

“It’s been fifteen years, I should hope I’m different. You are, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” James nodded, “So…how’s my kid?”

And that was when it hit him.

You could be unbelievably happy for something having worked out…and unbelievably hurt at what was about to unravel at the same time.

This was the terrible, sinking feeling.

Sirius shoved down the slight hurt at the phrase my kid. Because Harry…Harry had been Sirius’ kid for years and years. Sirius was the one who was there fore the late-night fevers and trips to St. Mungos; Sirius had been to every Quidditch game and hung up every exam score. Sirius’ desk at work at a picture of the three of them--Remus, Harry, Sirius. His family. And in a few hours…in a single sentence, this shifted.

Pushed from the cliff, falling down to the ground in a heap because it occurred to Sirius that Harry…had his parent’s back. The ones he was supposed to have before the worst thing to have ever happened, happened, and he was put into Sirius’ care.

Suddenly, Sirius was sixteen all over again, out cold on the streets running aimlessly and searching for someplace to go.

I’m lost.

Who will want me now?

Where do I belong?

Because his kid…might not be his anymore.

Sirius never expected to feel this way again at 35. Not when there was a wedding band around his finger. Not when there was a tattoo of July 31st on the underside of his wrist and a bedroom upstairs decorated in Quidditch posters and a desk in the parlor with art supplies.

“Alright?” James asked, breaking Sirius out from racing thoughts that had just come to fruition.

“Yeah. Sorry…” Sirius pasted on a fake smile, “Harry’s the best. I…was just thinking I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

--

Happiness was so incredibly fleeting.

People talked of happiness like it was some holy grail destination. A white whale. And once you captured this elusive happiness it would be yours forever and never leave.

But that wasn’t true.

Happiness was an emotion, just like sadness or anger, ebbing and flowing like the waves on the shore.

One moment Sirius was happy to have his best friend back; Harry was overjoyed to meet his parents, their dinner table of three turning into one for five. A week of pure elation and laughter with shared memories and time spent playing Quidditch in the backyard.

The innocent getting to know you questions and the high of the happiness rollercoaster all coming to a screaming and startling halt when a different sort of question was posed.

So, how would you feel if next week we took Harry home?

Sirius wanted to scream.

And he did, when he got on his bike under the impression he was taking a joy ride and for once there were plenty of adults to supervise a teenager with insatiable curiosity. He yelled as loud as he could, masked by the sound of an engine, choking on exhaust fumes until his throat felt it would bleed.

This is his home.

He’s already there, can’t you see that?

You can’t take him

Sirius didn’t know how but he had managed to maintain his head. Legally, it wasn’t as simple as just taking Harry home. Which is how they all ended up in the sitting room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Lily and James on one couch, Sirius and Remus on the other, Harry caught in the middle on a chair looking at his hands.

“There’s no pressure either way, Harry. It’s your choice, who you want to stay with,” James’s voice was thick with emotion as he spoke, holding onto Lily’s hand so tight Sirius could see light knuckles from across the room. He was holding onto Remus’s hand in a similar way, already preparing to have the rug pulled out from underneath his feet.

“...I don’t want anyone to be mad at me,” Harry said. Sirius pulled his eyes away from James to look at Harry who was looking the floor. Caught in the middle of a game of tug-of-war he didn’t ask to play; keeping score and tallying up points when he just wanted to enjoy being there. He knew Harry had hoped for a forfeit, and Sirius had hoped for one as well…even if it ended badly in his favor. For some sort of legality and clause in ancient ministry rules that stipulated what took precedence--adoption papers or biology. But the ministry was unsure of which one to void, laws coming up empty, and it was instead put into the hands of an almost fifteen year old.

It seemed irresponsible.

It seemed unfair to give an impossible, bone crushing weight to a child (though Harry would disagree if those words were ever told to him).

But there they were.

“I won’t be mad at you, love, they’re your--” but with an elbow to his side Remus, Sirius stopped speaking, realizing for the first time that Harry had picked his head up and was looking at James and Lily. Not Sirius. Not Remus.

“You…seem very nice. I...like getting to know you, ” Harry said, “but you might as well be strangers to me. I’m…sorry.”

Sirius watched as James and Lily put on the same fake smile Sirius had been wearing since that day in the ministers office. The smile he used to pretend everything was okay when he had seen this coming from the very beginning.

A rift.

The feeling was back.

The paranoid, lingering feeling that something…terrible was going to happen returned as he walked James and Lily to the door of Grimmauld Place after Harry left to go to his bedroom.

“Good for you. You’ve…obviously made him really happy.” James words were harmless but his tone said otherwise. His face gave him away, looking at Sirius with an odd sort of mixture of betrayal and confusion.

What’s it like living my life, Sirius? You always did fancy being a Potter.

“You don’t mean that.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”