Barbie (2023) Dir. Greta Gerwig

I watched Dear Ex a couple of days ago because it had been recommended in a lot of LGBTQ Taiwanese film lists to me. And it was a good film. But what I found really interesting was how the film’s thesis statement about motherly love is ultimately one I think a lot of queer people, especially queer people who grew up in cultures emphasising filial piety, could find really cathartic.

In the film, there’s a teenage boy who decided to live away from his overbearing mother with a gay man (who was also his dad’s lover; the gay man functions as a sort of stepfather figure to him now since his dad passed away). And as revenge, his mom outed the man to his elderly mother, assuming that it would ruin their relationship (earlier the elderly woman also expressed confusion and admitted to not really ‘getting’ queer relationships too, which supported the assumption). She also spends much of the film helicopter parenting her son. Which her teenage son makes clear that he dislikes.

Later on in the film, mother and son go and see a play that the gay man directed and acted in. The play bombed. But at the very end, the gay man’s elderly mother was there, and gave him a bouquet of flowers and hugged him. The film ends with the teenage boy living with the gay man now, and his mother visiting from time to time. The teenage boy and his mother’s relationship is also shown to have greatly improved.

And I found this interesting, because ultimately, the thesis statement (or at least one interpretation one can derive from it) of the film is about motherly love. Or more specifically, how sometimes a mother can best show her love by stepping aside and allowing her child to live their life according to what they believe is right for them.

And I think this message is something that I think can resonate with a lot of queer people, because I think one of the big pains that a lot of queer people face in their lives is unaccepting families. Families who do expect something out of their child without giving them the freedom to live their life. Especially in a society like Taiwan, where children are very heavily expected to be filial to their parents. To have a film talk about motherly/parental love in such a manner - that the mothers eventually stepped back and allowed their children to be themselves and live their lives - would be very cathartic for a lot of queer people.

okay but why are there such good roasts in crime and punishment? like oh my god, they're all so petty and the conversations are gold! it's so ridiculous but at the same time i'm so entertained. it's like watching a reality show in book form if that makes sense.

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One of the most accurate descriptions of Innocent I’ve read - it’s written like a theatre piece or an opera. It’s exaggerated, flamboyant, dramatic, and the characters are merely actors, who are thrown on the stage, whenever they are needed. They all serve a purpose and stand for something the author wants to convey, so nothing about them has to be realistic.

I honestly love it! Whoever wrote this review, thanks, I couldn’t put my finger on it at all, but it’s the perfect comparison!

THOMAS SHELBY + smoking

Another thing I really like about Koisenu Futari, is how it exemplifies the ways amatonormativity also impacts allo people.

When Sakuko’s sister Minori gets proof that her husband is cheating on her (after actively investigating to make sure).

She’s still hesitant to divorce him.

Not because she still loves him (that doesn’t come up even once).

Not because he is a great husband beyond the cheating (the screaming match about how she was the only one taking care of their daughter shows pretty clearly that he wasn’t pulling his weight).

Not even because it’s a lot harder to raise two kids on her own (tough it is mention in passing - did I mention she’s 9 months pregnant at that point? and then promptly goes into labor?).

Not even really what society is going to say about her (even tough it would be completely justified, especially in Japan).

But because she’s terrified of being alone.

And then again while she's in labor

In that way, she mirrors Sakuko’s own fear of loneliness.

And of course, she associates being single with being lonely. Because amatonormativity.

She verbalizes the relationship elevator: getting married, having a child, buying a house, another child. She calls it "a game of adulthood".

But while she comes to the conclusion that she failed at this "game of adulthood", she doesn't really get to the conclusion that it's bullshit.

Even with her sister's example right in front of her, she has trouble imagining happiness outside of marriage.

Most likely because she still sees Sakuko and Takahashi's relationship as abnormal, and therefore reserved to abnormal people. So she can't apply their example of being happy outside of marriage to herself yet. Not when she's tried to hard to be the perfect normal woman.

But no matter if Minori believes it or not, single doesn't have to mean lonely, which Sakuko proves immediately by promising to always stand by her sister's side.

And then Sakuko meets Takahashi’s ex Haruka, who explains that she moved to the countryside after their break-up, and then started up her (now very successful) farm.

Sakuko’s reaction is to say it was then a blessing in disguise

To which Haruka thanks her, saying that most people are just sad for her because she’s “old” (around 40) and still single, even tough she’s perfectly happy as is.

She’s a really good illustration that:

amatonormativity impacts everyone who strays out of it, it doesn't matter if you're aro or allo

you don’t need to be aro to be happy outside of amatonormativity’s expectation

And in that way, I feel like that makes her an optimistic answer to Minori’s concerns about loneliness.

(And then of course there is Kazu-kun, but there is so much to say about him, he'll get his own post.)

I really liked that the shows takes the time to talk about those experiences, because it makes amatonormativity much more real. It is a systemic issue, so of course it impacts everyone.

And I think we've all had discussions like this, where other people's own internalized amatonormativity also completely invalidated our experiences.

So it was great to see it explored so clearly here.

(also this has nothing and everything to do with it, but the fact that in the credit, Minori is called by her husband's name. I don't think it's used in the show itself but. You know. All of a woman identity depending on her husband. All that.)

I am not surprised that Todo's locket held pictures of his favorite idol and Itadori (I don't even blame him, I understand).

I am surprised that they not only added flowers to the background, but added a whole sequence of Takada-chan and Todo just bringing a beat down on Mahito in Todo's imagination.

Do I hate it? HELL NO! That was glorious!

the absolute funniest plot of nbc hannibal is the fact that the fbi is looking for a serial killer that is highly skilled in evading the police and has been killing for decades in multiple countries, and then they hired a guy who showed up to work like this every day to catch him.

christopher nolan did such an exceptional job at making the audience feel the tension and horror during the trinity test sequence even though we already knew the outcome and what it meant when they realized that the bomb actually works