Your Little Things

“All we know

Is that stars will fall

And holidays come and go”

I've always been the one to talk too much or too loud, but in those moments she was there. Her silent rivers flowed across my cheeks as she tried to comfort me. I used to think she and I were nothing alike, but in growing up, she became all that I was. Silence, the kind of comforting ache that sits with you while you’re talked over and forgotten, but she never forgets you. She once held me in her arms while I sat and watched the stars. I saw a shooting star and wished for her to leave, so I could be heard; yet she always found her way back to me. In silent car rides and silent rooms, she held me the way I wished my mother would. Eventually, I learned to appreciate her. I meditated with her and learned her language. She told me she loved me, but hated that I was becoming her. She told me to speak, to be heard. It's hard at first when she is all you know, but I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be seen. So I became louder and louder and she cheered me on from the quiet corners of every room

tumblr is such a unique experience in 2021 because it’s probably the only place on the internet, or in real life, really, where there is absolutely no point. there is no agenda, and no purpose, it’s just a place i can create this little bubble of art, and self-expression, and poetry, and live in it peacefully. scrolling through my blog and appreciating photography, fashion, literature, etc. just feels like a beautiful respite from everything outside of this website? no news no performance no productivity just pure vibes

her body is so broken

and yet she’s still fighting

with no one standing by her side

she’s fighting

for herself

against herself

and the cycle never ends

it’s a rare light, that I chase to the end.

it’s a rare book, that i read to the end.

most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

Martyrs

Be my Romeo

I’ll be your Juliet

Let’s get married and run away

Finish their story

Let our love be seen in all its glory

We’ll live in our own secret world

We’ll forget our names and who we were

Let us be so in love

That we are no longer two

But one

Let our story be read by scholars and in schools

Let us be martyrs for a force stronger than any god we’ve ever known

My Romeo, let us be martyrs for a love stronger than what anyone’s seen before.

As they laughed and pointed

I stood there

Half frozen in the 20 degree weather

My legs were purple

and not just from the cold

I acted like I could withstand the pain

So they’d see I was strong

But I guess I was wrong

I hoped they’d stop

I smiled and laughed

As they beat me down

But I’d always get up

I had to

I covered my legs

So no one could see

The pain on the outside of me

So I know you’re trying to help

But I’ve turned cold

Like my body

The days I was out on that field

Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best. 

10 Feet Away

my mind wants to get away.

so that I can just be alone, so I can’t hurt anyone else,

especially you.

I feel like a threat

and I can't get away

yet here I am, only 10 feet away