A Flirting Guide For Writers (And Real World Usage)

I reblogged a post a day or so ago, and the result (which made me sad) was mostly people saying that they feel they cannot flirt (and therefore cannot write it effectively).

So I thought I’d share my own, admittedly limited, knowledge (under the guise of writing advice) so that you can all write kick-ass romance and show your feelings like the boss-ass-bitches you are!

The Basics; Eye-Contact, Personal Space, Body Language

The thing about flirting is that most of it is non-verbal, and the world is split between those writers who find this part the easiest, and those who find it the most incomprehensible.

The problem is that it’s all dependent on a fine, mostly unspoken, line which makes the interaction creepy if crossed. When writing a character who is trying to flirt with someone, or when trying to flirt with someone yourself, you need to keep three main things in mind; personal space, body language, and potential restriction. This is especially important for men. The problem is that this is mostly instinctual, and so it can be hard to write if you haven’t had time to develop the right skills yourself.

Personal space

When trying to show that your character is flirting you need to make a note of them moving into the other person’s personal space but not too much. Consider this; someone leaning into your space just a little to speak to you versus someone being practically nose to nose with you. One catches your attention, the other is uncomfortable at best and intimidating at worst. The idea is to lean in enough to show interest and create a sense of intimacy, without becoming overbearing or threatening. As a rule, I find that I begin to feel uncomfortable if a man I’m not sure of gets closer than the distance it would take to perform a ballroom Waltz.

To get an idea of how that looks, hold up your hand at arms length as if pushing someone away or pressing against a wall. Now slowly bend your elbow until the point sits just under your breast or pectoral muscle.

That’s the maximum personal space invasion I allow from people I don’t know well. In my experience, this is common to many women, though others prefer more space. Likewise, in my experience, men I have met seemed perfectly comfortable with me being closer than even that, but I am small, relatively unthreatening, and we have to allow for the fact that we were in the position of viewing each other as romantic interests. Men may prefer more space from other men, or from individuals that they do not see in a romantic light already. This changes from person to person, and noting your characters preference is a good way to show what kind of person they are.

Eye-Contact

Another fundamental which relies on instinct subtlety; conventional wisdom says that you should make eye-contact in order to show interest. Actual wisdom will also tell you that too much becomes intense and a little creepy. If your character holds someone’s eye for too long its becomes fixative rather than flirtatious; it becomes staring. Depending on your character and their interest this can either read as obsessive, creepy, or aggressive.

Flirtatious eye contact can take a few forms;

1 - the “getting caught” method where a person looks at someone and quickly looks away again. When caught have your character (or yourself) look away quickly and then back, hold eye contact for a few moments and then acknowledge the other person. A smile, wink, or nod will suffice for this.

2 - the “lash” method where someone, usually a woman, catches their crushes eye, looks down, and then back up from under the lashes. Also very effective when done by men with big eyelashes.

3 - the “full cheese” method by which someone winks, grins, or wiggles their eyebrows. This is effective when used sparingly.

If your character also touches the person they are flirting with lightly, this will build tension. The touch should be gentle, but obviously deliberate. Avoid possessive gestures like gripping or pulling, however.

Body Language

When flirting, the body language of both people is important; your character should watch their crush for signs of interest and/or discomfort.

Positive signs; leaning in, touching, playing with hair, smiling, licking or biting lips, tilting their head slightly, mirroring.

Negative signs; leaning away, crossing arms, pursing lips, refusing to make eye-contact, raising their shoulders, crossing their legs away from the other person, frowning, clenching jaw, balling fists.

This body language can apply to both characters in the scene.

Advanced Techniques; Verbal Cues, Suggestions, And Other Senses

This is the shit I thrive on, as a writer you will probably feel the same way; I notice the sounds, smells, and textures of another person as well as what they say (in fact, when you read my work you’ll notice that the smell of any romantic lead is noted upon more than once).

Verbal Cues

This is the thing that most people focus upon when it comes to discussions or attempts at flirtation. The verbal sparring that comes with flirting is what really gets our stomachs churning and our hearts pulsing… but why are some people so naturally good at it, while others are… less so?

And why does some of the most vapid and run-of-the-mill stuff seem to work between the right people?

Well, the sad news for your unlovely characters is that physical attraction makes us more likely to respond to even the most poorly constructed of verbal flirtation. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so even the least pretty of characters could find themselves flirting up a storm with the right person.

Verbal cues include;

- Gentle teasing

- Compliments

- Inside jokes

- Using someone’s name (yes, really)

- Asking questions and responding in a thoughtful way

- Sexual innuendo (when used tastefully and sparingly)

Suggestion

This is the easiest to miss or overshoot because it’s a combination of everything else we’ve already covered. For example, your character saying to a friend,

“I’m just going to hop into the shower, talk soon.”

Is not a suggestive statement. Now imagine your character flirting with someone on the phone before sighing and saying,

“I’m going to take a shower… I’ll speak to you soon, ok?”

The difference is subtle but important; the second suggests that they don’t want to stop talking to the other person, that they definitely want to speak to them again as soon as possible, and subtly encourages the other person to consider them in the shower. You see?

Easy to miss, easy to fudge. Suggestion is hard to pull off, and hard to write, but think of it this way - suggestion;

1) Encourages the other person to think of you/your character in an intimate way

2) Implies enjoyment in and desire for their presence

3) Is open-ended and encourages reciprocation

The Other Senses

This is not so much flirting, but the act of making your character/yourself as appealing as possible to another. Personal hygiene, a good fashion sense, and good manners are a part of this.

But -

When writing about this you should not discuss it directly unless your character is making a conscious choice. Instead, focus on the character that yours is focussed upon.

- How do they smell?

- What are the textures of their clothes?

- What manners do they affect?

- Does their voice have a texture?

- Do they touch your character a lot?

- Do they note upon your characters smell or noticeably try to take in their smell?

- Do they react noticeably to your character’s voice or mannerisms?

This is just a basic guide, of course, but if you get this down you’re in a good position to build romantic tension in every walk of life!

If you found this post useful and you want to help keep me writing, you can support me through Kofi!

41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language

Found Here x

41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language unique This list, while exhausting, is soooo not exhaustive; it barely scratches the surface. And each entry could easily become cliché (if it isn’t already). But, it should be enough to get you started. Want more? Start watching people (not in a creepy way), and take notes of what they seem to do when expressing different emotions. Your repertoire of expression will double in no time. PS—do not use these for actual, real-life body language reading; you will fail. These are strictly novelistic.

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royalrhythm

2 years ago

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royalrhythm

4 years ago

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royalrhythm

4 years ago

The Five Stages of Decomposition

Found a little summary of human decomposition primarily used for writing, but an interesting read for everyone else.

Following death, the human body progresses through five basic stages of decomposition. The duration and degree of each stage is largely influenced by the environment (temperature, humidity, etc.), body mass, any wrappings or coverings of the body, and obviously scavenging or other post-mortem disturbances. Additionally, submerged or buried bodies will decompose much differently than bodies left on the ground. This is what I will be referring to below. Here are the general descriptions of the five stages of decomposition:

Fresh

The fresh stage begins immediately after death when the circulatory system (heart beating/pumping blood) stops functioning. It is during this stage that the blood will settle with gravity creating a condition known as lividity. After several hours the muscles will also begin to stiffen in a process known as rigor mortis. The body temperature will also begin to acclimate to the environment. Cells will begin to break down and release enzymes during a process called autolysis which can cause blisters on the skin. The anaerobic organisms in the digestive tract will begin to multiply, producing acids and gases (the source of the bad odors). This process is often referred to as putrefaction.

Bloat

As the name implies, the gases being produced during putrefaction begin to build and will give the body a distended appearance. Gases and fluid will eventually escape through the natural orifices as the pressure builds. As the gastrointestinal bacteria multiply and can lead to conditions like marbling which is a discoloration pattern seen in the skin. You may also see green discoloration in the abdomen areas and eventually a darkening (blackish) coloring of the skin overall as the process advances. Interestingly enough; I remember one time I was giving a lecture on forensic entomology at a college campus and after the lecture a serious looking young black student approached me. She asked me why I only showed pictures of black victims in my presentation. I was a bit taken back and briefly confused as I ran through a mental recap of the cases I presented. I finally told her that all of the victims were in fact white (Caucasian) in life but due to this process their skin darkened. It was an eye-opening experience and I made sure to describe this process more effectively when lecturing the public.

Active Decay

During his phase the body begins to lose much of it’s fluids and mass (tissue) through purge and insect and/or vertebrate scavenging (coyote, fox, lion, etc). During this phase you may see very large maggot masses and notice a considerable increase in foul odors.

Advanced Decay

This phase is the end of the active decay process. Temperatures can either speed up (heat) or slow down (cold) how quickly a body reaches this phase. The body has very little body mass and soil staining of the surrounding soils is still evident. This soil staining (from body fluids) may actually kill some of the surrounding vegetation temporarily. Maggots will migrate away from the body to pupate and flies will cease laying eggs.

Dry/Skeletal

This phase is the last measurable stage of decomposition. The timing of this stage varies widely by environment. For example, a body in Florida in July (hot/humid) may reach this stage in a week while in the Winter in the Rocky Mountains (cold/arid) it might take months. If there is any skin left it will be leather-like and very tough. Mostly the body is reduced to bones and connective tissue. There is no biomass available for diverse insect colonization. Some beetles and adventitious insects may colonize a body for shelter or feeding on other insects and connective tissue. Over time the bones may “bleach” (turn white) with exposure to sunlight and eventually will begin to exhibit cracks after several years. These weathering cracks are distinctive and would not be confused with a fresh break (injury) unless by an inexperienced analyst.

Alternatives for: "Smile"

Okay, so, this turned up a lot like the “said” debate. Some of the alternatives for smile just happen to be for really specific situations, and/or are often misused.

Smile is a great word, and when you try and use an alternative, said alternative often ends up being: a) wrongly used or b) ridiculous sounding. Oftentimes it’s just okay to write “he smiled” or “they smiled at each other” rather than getting “creative” with it.

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royalrhythm

4 years ago

20 Basic Plots

These basic plots are from the Tennessee Screenwriting Association, but I thought it would be useful to share them with you all. Many writers believe that there are only so many “basic plots” that make up a story, 20 of them to be exact, and that it all depends on how you develop these plots. This is the same idea that there are only so many story arcs, and that all of our stories fit into a certain category. This is not to say you can’t create something that is uniquely yours, because you can mess with these elements, but when cut something down to the bare bones—nothing is really original. These recognizable story forms work and that’s why they’re used over and over again. Here are the 20 basic plots—

1. QUEST – the protagonist is searching for something (person, place, thing, or idea) and is on a journey to find it.

2. ADVENTURE – the protagonist searches for their fortune, but has to leave home to do it.

3. PURSUIT - hide-and-seek plot, one group or person chasing another.

4. RESCUE - the protagonist is searching for someone or something that needs to be saved—this usually involves protagonist, victim, and antagonist.

5. ESCAPE – the protagonist wants to escape some sort of situation, on a quest to get away.

6. REVENGE - retaliation against someone else for wrong-doings.

7. THE RIDDLE - the protagonist’s search to find the hidden meaning of something.

8. RIVALRY - the protagonist is competing for same object or goal as another person.

9. UNDERDOG – the protagonist has a great disadvantage and faces overwhelming odds while trying to reach his or her goals.

10. TEMPTATION – the protagonist is tempted into doing something that is unwise, wrong or immoral.

11. METAMORPHOSIS - the physical characteristics of the protagonist actually changes from one form to another.

12. TRANSFORMATION - the protagonist journeys through a stage of life that moves them from one significant character state to another.

13. MATURATION - the protagonist faces a problem that causes them to learn from it and mature into adulthood.

14. LOVE - the protagonist overcomes the obstacles that prevent him or her from engaging in true love.

15. FORBIDDEN LOVE – the protagonist overcomes obstacles that prevent him or her from true love, but sometimes find the outcome too high a price to live with.

16. SACRIFICE - the protagonist is motivated by a higher purpose such as love, honor, and charity or for the sake of humanity.

17. DISCOVERY - the protagonist, having to overcome a life-changing event, discovers a deeper meaning of life that changes their outlook.

18. WRETCHED EXCESS - the protagonist pushes the limits of acceptable behavior to the extreme and is forced to deal with the consequences.

19. ASCENSION – this rags-to-riches plot deals with the rise of the protagonist due to a dominating character trait that helps them to succeed.

20. DECISION – this riches-to-rags plot deals with the fall of the protagonist due to dominating character trait that eventually destroys their success.

It’s easy to see that some stories can fit into a few of these categories and you can build your story up around several of these basic plots. Generally, a story will fit into one category more than another. There are many references on basic plots, and not all writers have the same opinions on it, so it helps to research them yourself. I just thought this might give you a little motivation or help you structure your story better.

-Kris Noel

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royalrhythm

4 years ago

Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!

Generators

Character

Appearance Generator

Archetypes Generator

Character Generator

Character Traits Generator

Family Generator

Job/Occupation Generator, (II)

Love Interest Generator

Motive Generator

Name Generator

Personality Generator, (II)

Quick Character Generator

Super Powers Generator

Names

Brand Name Generator

Medicine Title Generator

Name Generator

Quick Name Generator

Vehicle Generator

Town Name Generator

Plot

First Encounter Generator

First Line Generator, (II)

Plot Generator, (II), (III)

Plot Device Generator

Plot Twist Generator

Quick Plot Generator

Setting/World-Building

City Generator

Fantasy Race Generator

Laws Generator

Pet Generator

Setting Generator

Species Generator

Terrain Generator

Prompts

Subject Generator

”Take Three Nouns” Generator

Word Prompt Generator

Misc

Color Generator

Decision Generator

Dialogue Generator

Journey Generator

Title Generator, (II), (III)

Some Tips

Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!

Writing action / @berrybird

How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs

How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing

8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor

psa for writers / @dasakuryo

”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting

How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare

Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips

Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven

Vocabulary

Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent

Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey

Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac

Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee

Words to describe someone’s voice

Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth

Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth

Some Advice

Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite

8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk

(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk

How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk

14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts

Playlists

Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid

“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates

Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead

Chill / @endlessreveries

Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts

Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen

Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch

Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt

Fatale / @dolcegf

All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters

Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon

I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper

Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt

Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites

Pythia / @mazikeene

Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil

Websites and Apps

For Writing

ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.

The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!

Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!

Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.

Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.

Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!

For Productivity

Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)

ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.

Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)

SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!

Prompt Blogs

@writeworld

@dialouge-prompts

@oopsprompts

@prompts-for-the-otp

@creativepromptsforwriting

@the-modern-typewriter

@theprofessionalpromptmaker

@writers-are-writers

@otp-imagines-cult

@witterprompts

@havetobememes

@auideas

@putthepromptsonpaper

@promptsonpaper

@fyotpprompts

@otpisms

@soprompt

@otpprompts

@ablockforwritersblock

@awritersnook

Writing Tips Blogs

@writeworld

@anomalously-written

@awritersnook

@clevergirlhelps

@referenceforwriters

@whataboutwriting

@thewritershelpers

@nimblesnotebook

@slitheringink

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royalrhythm

5 years ago

It does help. Thank you :)

How did you start posting your writing here? I want to start posting some writing I've done but it makes me nervous. How did you feel when you first posted some writing?

First of all, oh wow thanks for asking! I’m shook.

I honestly just kind of…did it? I got super inspired and decided I wanted to share it with people, since at the time it was a fairly new fandom that was having a bunch of fun on here (A Heist With Markiplier had been out not even a week, and I posted a fic about one of the new characters).

I used to be afraid to share anything just because I was worried about what people would think or people I know IRL finding me or something, but then I just decided I didn’t care. Why deny myself of doing something that makes me happy on a site that I spend so much time on anyway? I love reading what people write so I decided that maybe a couple people’s days with what I’d written. And if not, well I was having a good time!

I really try to make an effort to not let notes (or lack thereof) affect me. This site has an incomprehensible amount of content, tags fuck up, timezones are a thing, fandoms fluctuate, etc., etc…but honestly at the end of the day I don’t let it make or break me. I love the feeling I get when I write something that I enjoy reading back to myself, and putting it here is, at least for me, just a way to say “Okay yep. There is the thing. I did the thing. Good job, me!”

Of course, I have been COMPLETELY blown away by the reactions I’ve gotten to some of my work. There are comments that put smiles on my faces for DAYS, and I’ve met some super cool people as a result. My fics aren’t even all that popular but I enjoy every interaction that I DO have, because it’s all in fun!

Long story short, just go for it! You’ll learn what, when and how you prefer to write and post as you go along. Don’t be afraid to adjust if you want/need to and don’t let people give you shit for what you write or don’t write, whether it’s fanfic like me, or whatever else. Write for you.

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royalrhythm

4 years ago

Because We're More than Eyes and Hair!

I think 90% of writers will agree that in their first drafts of their first pieces, they’d describe a character like “she had blonde hair and green eyes” and leave it at that. I’m guilty of it, I’ll admit. But why not have some great, specific descriptions that flesh out your characters and how others perceive them?!

A quick note about eyes: In all honesty, eye color isn’t always apparent. Eyes may look dark from a distance, and you only realize they’re a deep blue when you get closer. Don’t feel like you have to mention eye color right away. It can be something mentioned later, when your characters have a soulful heart to heart.

Btw, I threw this list together in about 10 minutes so I’m sure there are other things that could be added. Feel free to comment or message me, and I’ll add them to the master list.

Hair

Long

Short

Wavy

Curly

Frizzy

Straight

Choppy

Thick

Thin

Braided

Tied up

Loose

Wild

Face

Long

Narrow

Wide

Round

Oval

Eyes

Round

Narrow

Squinty

Deep-set

Small

Beady

Oval

Nose

Narrow

Pinched

Wide

Flat

Crooked

Hooked

Pointed

Large

Dainty

Cheeks

Rosy

Ashen

Ruddy

Freckled

Round

Gaunt

Pronounced (cheekbones)

Bronzed

Tanned

Dimpled

full

Chin

Sharp

Round

Cleft

Pointed

Jaw

Square

Round

Straight

Strong

Lips

Full

Plump

Thin

Pinched

Body (build, frame)

Slight

Willowy

Scrawny

Tall

Bulky

Average

Large

Stout

Curvy

Shapely

Straight

Bony

I also claimed stuff like this will help with characterization. I’ll give an example. For a body frame, “scrawny” and “willowy” mean kinda the same thing—someone with a thin, slight built. If your character is describing the girl they’ve had a crush on forever, they’d probably use a word like “slender” or “willowy,” because they’re fond of her. A longtime rival or enemy might stick to words with a negative connotation, like “scrawny” or “bony.” For someone they’ve just met, the terms will probably be more neutral. Consider how your narrator thinks of the person they’re describing, and how that’ll affect the words they use!

I’ll include some examples…?

Ignoring his warning, I stepped back towards Liam and the barely-contained Suni. She was pretty, now that I got a good look at her standing up. She was half a foot shorter than my own 5’6”, with shapely curves hinted at even with her loose clothing. Maybe a bit chubby by today’s toothpick thin standards, but more with muscle than fat. Strong cheekbones and full lips accented her long mahogany face, but it was her eyes that dominated her features. Sharp aqua eyes that were fixed on Kent. If looks could kill.

Kent was back at my side as the knight-armored man turned to face us. Although still young, he had to be at least ten years older than me, with a broad face and warm green topaz eyes staring down a surprisingly dainty nose. Deep, carrot-red hair framed his face. When he smiled, it was kind and genuine, and it dimpled his sun-kissed cheeks.

“Hey, girl,” she said, grinning in a way that showed she was trying to be in with the teen slang. She was blonde like my dad, but shorter and with a little more weight around her neck and cheeks, since she didn’t have to appear on national television all the time. There was also a sparkle to her eyes and an air of carelessness in her frazzled, tied back hair and the dimpled smile of her cheeks—features I’d never see from Dad (frazzled and smiling, I mean), who was always the perfect News Anchor Ethan Cresswell.

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