I’m compelled by stories where the characters suffer a lot, but only if there’s catharsis in the end. If they just die without ever getting to recover I’m OUT because what’s the fucking purpose then? Voyeurism? Bye
* body language masterlist
* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does
* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes
* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said
* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again
* some more body language help
(hope this helps some ppl)
I reblogged a post a day or so ago, and the result (which made me sad) was mostly people saying that they feel they cannot flirt (and therefore cannot write it effectively).
So I thought I’d share my own, admittedly limited, knowledge (under the guise of writing advice) so that you can all write kick-ass romance and show your feelings like the boss-ass-bitches you are!
The Basics; Eye-Contact, Personal Space, Body Language
The thing about flirting is that most of it is non-verbal, and the world is split between those writers who find this part the easiest, and those who find it the most incomprehensible.
The problem is that it’s all dependent on a fine, mostly unspoken, line which makes the interaction creepy if crossed. When writing a character who is trying to flirt with someone, or when trying to flirt with someone yourself, you need to keep three main things in mind; personal space, body language, and potential restriction. This is especially important for men. The problem is that this is mostly instinctual, and so it can be hard to write if you haven’t had time to develop the right skills yourself.
Personal space
When trying to show that your character is flirting you need to make a note of them moving into the other person’s personal space but not too much. Consider this; someone leaning into your space just a little to speak to you versus someone being practically nose to nose with you. One catches your attention, the other is uncomfortable at best and intimidating at worst. The idea is to lean in enough to show interest and create a sense of intimacy, without becoming overbearing or threatening. As a rule, I find that I begin to feel uncomfortable if a man I’m not sure of gets closer than the distance it would take to perform a ballroom Waltz.
To get an idea of how that looks, hold up your hand at arms length as if pushing someone away or pressing against a wall. Now slowly bend your elbow until the point sits just under your breast or pectoral muscle.
That’s the maximum personal space invasion I allow from people I don’t know well. In my experience, this is common to many women, though others prefer more space. Likewise, in my experience, men I have met seemed perfectly comfortable with me being closer than even that, but I am small, relatively unthreatening, and we have to allow for the fact that we were in the position of viewing each other as romantic interests. Men may prefer more space from other men, or from individuals that they do not see in a romantic light already. This changes from person to person, and noting your characters preference is a good way to show what kind of person they are.
Eye-Contact
Another fundamental which relies on instinct subtlety; conventional wisdom says that you should make eye-contact in order to show interest. Actual wisdom will also tell you that too much becomes intense and a little creepy. If your character holds someone’s eye for too long its becomes fixative rather than flirtatious; it becomes staring. Depending on your character and their interest this can either read as obsessive, creepy, or aggressive.
Flirtatious eye contact can take a few forms;
1 - the “getting caught” method where a person looks at someone and quickly looks away again. When caught have your character (or yourself) look away quickly and then back, hold eye contact for a few moments and then acknowledge the other person. A smile, wink, or nod will suffice for this.
2 - the “lash” method where someone, usually a woman, catches their crushes eye, looks down, and then back up from under the lashes. Also very effective when done by men with big eyelashes.
3 - the “full cheese” method by which someone winks, grins, or wiggles their eyebrows. This is effective when used sparingly.
If your character also touches the person they are flirting with lightly, this will build tension. The touch should be gentle, but obviously deliberate. Avoid possessive gestures like gripping or pulling, however.
Body Language
When flirting, the body language of both people is important; your character should watch their crush for signs of interest and/or discomfort.
Positive signs; leaning in, touching, playing with hair, smiling, licking or biting lips, tilting their head slightly, mirroring.
Negative signs; leaning away, crossing arms, pursing lips, refusing to make eye-contact, raising their shoulders, crossing their legs away from the other person, frowning, clenching jaw, balling fists.
This body language can apply to both characters in the scene.
Advanced Techniques; Verbal Cues, Suggestions, And Other Senses
This is the shit I thrive on, as a writer you will probably feel the same way; I notice the sounds, smells, and textures of another person as well as what they say (in fact, when you read my work you’ll notice that the smell of any romantic lead is noted upon more than once).
Verbal Cues
This is the thing that most people focus upon when it comes to discussions or attempts at flirtation. The verbal sparring that comes with flirting is what really gets our stomachs churning and our hearts pulsing… but why are some people so naturally good at it, while others are… less so?
And why does some of the most vapid and run-of-the-mill stuff seem to work between the right people?
Well, the sad news for your unlovely characters is that physical attraction makes us more likely to respond to even the most poorly constructed of verbal flirtation. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so even the least pretty of characters could find themselves flirting up a storm with the right person.
Verbal cues include;
- Gentle teasing
- Compliments
- Inside jokes
- Using someone’s name (yes, really)
- Asking questions and responding in a thoughtful way
- Sexual innuendo (when used tastefully and sparingly)
Suggestion
This is the easiest to miss or overshoot because it’s a combination of everything else we’ve already covered. For example, your character saying to a friend,
“I’m just going to hop into the shower, talk soon.”
Is not a suggestive statement. Now imagine your character flirting with someone on the phone before sighing and saying,
“I’m going to take a shower… I’ll speak to you soon, ok?”
The difference is subtle but important; the second suggests that they don’t want to stop talking to the other person, that they definitely want to speak to them again as soon as possible, and subtly encourages the other person to consider them in the shower. You see?
Easy to miss, easy to fudge. Suggestion is hard to pull off, and hard to write, but think of it this way - suggestion;
1) Encourages the other person to think of you/your character in an intimate way
2) Implies enjoyment in and desire for their presence
3) Is open-ended and encourages reciprocation
The Other Senses
This is not so much flirting, but the act of making your character/yourself as appealing as possible to another. Personal hygiene, a good fashion sense, and good manners are a part of this.
But -
When writing about this you should not discuss it directly unless your character is making a conscious choice. Instead, focus on the character that yours is focussed upon.
- How do they smell?
- What are the textures of their clothes?
- What manners do they affect?
- Does their voice have a texture?
- Do they touch your character a lot?
- Do they note upon your characters smell or noticeably try to take in their smell?
- Do they react noticeably to your character’s voice or mannerisms?
This is just a basic guide, of course, but if you get this down you’re in a good position to build romantic tension in every walk of life!
If you found this post useful and you want to help keep me writing, you can support me through Kofi!
Trigger warnings apply. Requested by anon. (Disclaimer: not all of these sentences are manipulative in a different context, and some can be used jokingly as well.)
“If you really cared about me, you’d do what I’m asking.” “Don’t you trust me?” “I wish I never met you, honestly.” “You’re the reason I’m upset.” “It’s all your fault.” “I guess you just don’t love me enough.” “You have to keep it a secret. I’ll find out if you tell anyone.” “Whatever. It’s not like I care.” “I could just leave, you know.” “Do you like them more than me?” “Who have you been talking to?” “I would do anything to make you happy, I just want you to do the same for me.” “You have to tell me. Not telling me is just as bad as lying.” “It would be so easy for me to find someone else.” “If you loved me, you’d tell me.” “It’s like you don’t even care about me.” “One day I’ll be dead and you’ll regret not being there when I needed it.” “Nobody really cares about me, not even you.” “No one will ever love you the way I do.” “If you leave me, I don’t want to even think about what I’ll do.” “I’ll just tell everyone you were abusing me.” “You have to. You owe me.” “I’ve made sacrifices for you, now you have to do the same.” “I’ll never forgive you.” “No, it’s fine. Just do whatever you want, I guess.” “Am I upset? Why, should I be?” “If you don’t come over tonight, I’m going to hurt myself.” “I never said that. You’re trying to confuse me.” “I think you hate me.” “I would do anything for you, so why wouldn’t you do the same?” “If you don’t do this, it’s because you don’t love me.” “You were there for them, but not me?” “Yes, if you love me, you would change for me.” “I’m wasting my time with you.” “Well, I guess I’m just useless, aren’t I?” “I know you didn’t say it, but you were thinking it.” “You hate me. I know you do.” “You can’t convince me I’m not just a burden to you.”
/ˈmo͞onˌstrək/
adjective unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.
break up your paragraphs. big paragraphs are scary, your readers will get scared
fuuuuck epithets. “the other man got up” “the taller woman sat down” “the blonde walked away” nahhh. call them by their names or rework the sentence. you can do so much better than this (exception: if the reader doesn’t know the character(s) you’re referring to yet, it’s a-okay to refer to them by an identifying trait)
blunette is not a thing
new speaker, new paragraph. please.
“said” is such a great word. use it. make sweet love to it. but don’t kill it
use “said” more than you use synonyms for it. that way the use of synonyms gets more exciting. getting a sudden description of how a character is saying something (screaming, mumbling, sighing) is more interesting that way.
if your summary says “I suck at summaries” or “story better than summary” you’re turning off the reader, my dude. your summary is supposed to be your hook. you gotta own it, just like you’re gonna own the story they’re about to read
follow long sentences w short ones and short ones w long ones. same goes for paragraphs
your writing is always better than you think it is. you just think it’s bad because the story’s always gonna be predicable to the one who’s writing it
i love u guys keep on trucking
astral (adj.) of, connected with, or resembling the stars. elysian (adj.) relating to or characteristic of heaven or paradise; peaceful and perfect. crepuscular (adj.) of, resembling, or relating to twilight. sempiternal (adj.) eternal and unchanging; everlasting. syzygy (n.) an alignment of three celestial objects, as the sun, the earth, and either the moon or a planet. empyrean (adj.) belonging to or deriving from heaven. sidereal (adj.) pertaining to the distant stars. paradisaic (adj.) of or belonging to heaven or god. lambent (adj.) (of light or fire) glowing, gleaming, or flickering with a soft radiance.
How to write it
How to write romance
Love Language - Showing, not telling love
Honeymoon
Slow burn
Forbidden Romance (+ prompts)
Reasons for a break-up while still loving each other
How to create quick chemistry
How to write enemies to lovers (+ prompts)
How to write lovers to enemies to lovers
Arranged matrimony for royalty (+ prompts)
Date gone wrong
Academic rivals to lovers
Romantic Fall Date Ideas
How to write a polyamorous relationship
Prompt Lists
Romance Part I
Romance Part II
Bad ones, unrequited, break-up Part I
Bad ones, unrequited, break-up Part II
Two smart and also stupid people in love
Push and pull romantic prompts
Co-workers - Hate to love
Lovers to enemies
Jealousy + Things said during sex prompts
Moving in together
If your story has different points of view, is it annoying to switch between them in a single chapter? Thank you!
I do that all the time, so I hope not! lol
seriously, though - as long as the switches are clear and don’t cause confusion you should be fine. I find it helps to use the horizonal rule in between viewpoints to show the flip in perspective.
Note: don’t use stylistic breaks between viewpoints (or scenes) like a series of asterisks or tildes etc. If someone is using a screen reader, it will read out each symbol that you use. Also using indicators like “Character A’s POV” tend to break up the story and take people out the narrative. Or at least they do for me.
I went scouting through the internet for words to describe a character’s voice. Here’s a handy list for all you writers:
Adenoidal/Nasal - Some of the sound seems to come through the nose.
Appealing - Shows that you want help, approval, or agreement.
Breathy - With loud breathing noises.
Brittle - You sound as if you are about to cry.
Croaky - Sounds as if they have a sore throat.
Dead - They feel or show no emotion.
Disembodied - Voice comes from someone who you cannot see.
Flat - Spoken in a voice that does not go up and down.
Fruity - Deep and strong in a pleasant way.
Grating - Unpleasant and annoying.
Gravelly - Low and rough.
Gruff - Has a rough low sound.
Guttural - Deep and made at the back of your throat.
High-Pitched - Very high and shrill.
Hoarse - Low rough voice, usually because their throat is sore.
Honeyed - Falsely sweet voice.
Husky - A husky voice is deep and sounds hoarse often in an attractive way.
Low - Quiet and difficult to hear / in a deep voice.
Matter-of-fact - Used about someone’s behavior or voice.
Modulated - Controlled and pleasant to listen to.
Monotonous - Boring because it does not change in loudness or become higher or lower.
Orotund - Loud and clear.
Penetrating - So high or loud that it makes you uncomfortable.
Plummy - This word shows that you dislike people who speak like this.
Quietly - In a quiet voice.
Raucous - Loud and sounds rough.
Ringing - very loud and clear.
Rough - Not soft and is unpleasant to listen to.
Shrill - Very loud, high, and unpleasant.
Silvery - Clear, light, and pleasant.
Singsong - Rises and falls in a musical way.
Small - A small voice or sound is quiet.
Smoky - Sexually attractive in a slightly mysterious way.
Softly Spoken - A quiet gentle voice.
Sotto Voce - A very quiet voice.
Stentorian - Loud and severe.
Strangulated - One that someone stops before they finish making it.
Strident - Loud and unpleasant.
Taut - Shows someone is nervous or angry.
Thick - Voice sounds less clear because of an emotion.
Thin - High and unpleasant to listen to.
Throaty - Low and seems to come from deep in your throat.
Tight - Shows that you are nervous or annoyed.
Toneless - Does not express any emotion.
Tremulous - It is not steady because you are afraid or excited.
Wheezy - Has difficulty breathing.
Wobbly - Unstable tone due to fright or emotions.
Taking effect July 2022, the US Suicide Prevention Hotline will change from 800-273-8255 to the three digit code of 988. Especially with families and communities reeling from back to back tragedies, it is super important to share this information!
Repeat: Starting July 2022, the US Suicide Prevention Hotline will be 988