Whenever I’m In Any Type Of Relationship With A Man Whether It Be Casual Or Serious, I Always Feel

“year in fashion” documentaries chronicling runway fashion by year (hour long each) 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008

check out my new playlist of all my favourite witch house music if you want 💞

One must, in one's life, make a choice between boredom and suffering.

ever since i was a child ive known that i wanted to, someday, be the mutilated corpse on a nature trail that ruins a hikers week

White Ring

me because there’s no man in my house, no man in my phone and no man on my mind.

It’s crazy being an American from a southern thus very conservative state having lived in farther left leaning states because I am so used to having to put up all my defenses before I make a simple statement such as “This group of people should be treated just as human as you would treat John Doe.” So, living in a blue state is such culture shock because I can openly talk about things that would have me shunned in my hometown, unless I were with a very specific few people. For reference, where I’m from, I’m considered to be verrrryyy liberal and outspoken, but anywhere else I am most likely seen as the average person that should honestly be more politically involved. Fun fact about republicans, you absolutely cannot convince them that America’s government is ever in the wrong, or something bad is ever at the fault of the rich people they wish to be or that they surround themselves with. Also, no matter how much you beg, they will not pick up a book and further educate themselves with an open mind.

I worry that the only time I will ever feel comfortable is when a song I love is playing. One of the few constants in my life has been that I’ve always been able to effortlessly get lost within a song, an album or a curated playlist. Whenever I’m sad and blue, there’s a musician that’s already yearned the way I have and they’ve already written something that makes me feel safe and understood. The same goes for anything I feel, whether it be excitement or rage, there’s a song that speaks to that feeling. I’ve never found this sort of reliability or kindness within any person I’ve really known. I’m not a great songwriter and I’m most certainly no singer, but I really wish I could be among the many artists that have aided in saving my own, and surely other people’s lives many times.

I don’t really know what it is and I suspect it has something to do with trauma, but I constantly feel dirty. Showering multiple times a day, washing my hair more than I should, using wipes to wipe myself down if I can’t get to a shower etc. Literally nothing helps. I feel so disgusting and it’s actually like mental torture idk what to do. It makes me break down sobbing sometimes especially right after a shower and I still feel gross. Anybody have any tips?

Not even a whole bottle of Klonopin can suppress my vibe (unfortunately)