Sometimes, Not Causing Any Extra Damage Through Misinformation Is The Best Thing You Can Do.

The Toxic Romance of Fizz/Ozzie

I have gotten an ask in regards to depictions of abuse in Helluva Boss and there is obviously much to say on the topic. Many others have gone over and criticized the show for its poor examples of abuse, however I believe a greater problem exists on the flip side of that topic. Hand in hand with abusive relationships, the show has crafted romantic ones that are just as damaging to the young adult audience this show appeals to. Just as some say that poor representation of abuse and abusers puts people at risk of becoming victims, so too does the poor representation of love and romance turn into a quagmire of unhealthy codependency that sets unrealistic standards for relationships and people that are inevitably going to become toxic when removed from fantasy.

It is one of the few reasons why I insist that Helluva Boss is not a show targeting adults, as it does not appeal to mature individuals with any true life experience. Overwhelmingly striking a chord with the stunted, socially disabled adult minority, or the emotionally volatile demographic of early twenty-something teenagers who have yet had the experience in life to identify harmful relationships or the biological maturity of their brains to reason outside their emotions, who make up the majority. It feeds off the sense of victimization that both of these groups harbor towards reality and requires a fantastical disconnection of such to engage with authentically.

That is not to say this is an attack on that group. As seen before with the meteoric rise of damaging media like “50 Shades of Grey”, it is not fair to claim no one can authentically interact and enjoy the material at presentation. Identically it is not proper to claim that individuals who enjoy this sort of media for what it is are somehow of subpar intellect. However, it is more fair to recognize that many who did see “50 Shades” as a romantic tale often ended up in abusive relationships when seeking out that “ideal” they believed the book portrayed. Many individuals who wandered into the kink scene looking for their own Christian Grey found exactly that as they were manipulated, controlled and taken advantage of by unsavory individuals. As such, this is not to say that media of this sort should not exist or be banned, but that coherent and concise criticism is necessary for these topics to keep people from reenacting unhealthy and toxic relationships.

In the words of Youtuber Swoop, “It’s not drama, it’s dangerous.” I feel it rings true here and for artistic media in general. It’s not just fiction, and it can have a real world impact on people, relationships and lives.

I covered over some of the issues with Stolitz in a previous post found *HERE*, but for this breakdown of harmful depictions of relationship dynamics, I’m going to be focusing on FizzaRolli and Asmodeus. The reason being, this is a textbook codependent relationship that is portrayed as an ideal through the narrative, and it is rather alarming to witness the way the fandom fawns over it. As I previously pointed out in *THIS* post, the issue with the Fizz/Ozzie relationship in the special episode is that the story conflict is FizzaRolli’s codependent nature on Mammon not being corrected, but rather redirected to being purely codependent on Asmodeus. I have legitimately seen it argued that because the characters are happy in their relationship, then the codependency is just love, which is why this essay is being written in the first place. This is direct evidence of a harmful and unhealthy dynamic being sold to an impressionable and immature audience to their own detriment.

According to PsycheCentral, codependent traits can be broken up into cognitive (how you think), emotional (how you feel), and behavioral (how you act).

Cognitive traits of Codependency are that the individual has difficulty identifying their own opinions from another person’s, primarily the target of the codependency. This means the individual will often conform themselves implicitly to the beliefs of their target. They lack a stable sense of self and attach to their target in a way to ground them psychologically. Additionally, they struggle to identify or express their needs because of this lack of identity. And it should be made clear that the lack of identity does not mean that they see themselves as an extension of the other person, but are highly changeable and lack any core sense of who they are or what they believe in. Their self image is so volatile that the act of codependency is a maladaptive coping skill to find some form of stability in another person. This also extends into a form of mirroring; taking on the desires of those around you as your own.

The episode makes it very obvious how FizzaRolli is codependent on Mammon because it is seen in the negative lens it is expected to be. FizzaRolli’s opinions and beliefs are mirrored images of Mammon’s greedy philosophy. Being the best with all the money and fame is what Mammon has instilled in Fizz’s core, and from the jump Fizzarolli expresses these values as his own. FizzaRolli doesn’t communicate with Mammon out of a sense of fear and often shelves his own feelings and desires to accommodate the King of Greed. These are obvious and I am sure everyone can easily identify them in the dynamic.

However, these are identical to FizzaRolli’s dynamic with Asmodeus. At the end of the episode when Ozzie and Fizz have their minute in the greenroom, Fizz consistently fails to communicate with Ozzie about his needs or desires. In context of the episode’s opening, FizzaRolli is able to easily lie to Asmodeus as to why he is participating in the pageant. It is never established that Fizzarolli is expected to participate, additionally his job with Ozzie would make his need to be hired by Mammon obsolete, let alone their relationship. So it appears to be solely Fizz’s choice as to why this episode occurred in the first place. It is obvious that Fizz feels out of control and overwhelmed about this situation, but he believes Ozzie would want him to participate because he would “lose him” otherwise.

Which means FizzaRolli believes his participation in the pageant is also what Ozzie actually wants, seen when he says “You’re with me because of who I am at my best!” And FizzaRolli is so entrenched in that belief that he imposes it on his partner despite Asmodeus clearly stating he would wish Fizz wouldn’t go. FizzaRolli’s decisions and thoughts are just as entirely embedded in the thoughts, opinions and desires of Ozzie, if not more, than Mammon. Just because Asmodeus’ cognitive priority is Fizz does not change the toxic codependency that this cycle is rooted in. It could be argued that because Ozzie rejecting FizzaRolli’s belief at the end of the episode allows Fizz the freedom to quit, it is only because of Fizz’s belief that Ozzie wanted him in the pageant, not Mammon, is why he ever forced himself to go in the first place.

Emotional traits of Codependency can be broken down into a single feeling: Fear. The difficulty of saying “no” due to a fear of rejection or abandonment. A fear of not being accepted, loved or supported. Feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem are all intrinsically tied to a codependent dynamic. This results in the individual giving of themselves beyond their own boundaries in order to appease their target and maintain a sense of value to that person.

Again, this is clear in FizzaRolli’s dynamic with Mammon. He never asserts himself in any way regardless of how uncomfortable he feels while simultaneously pushing the limits of his own mental and emotional health to the point of resentment. He attributes everything he is and has to Mammon, highlighting his utter lack of self-esteem. Additionally, the episode goes out of its way to show Fizz feeling inadequate in direct contrast to the competition.

This inadequacy goes deeper still, however, when presented with the Fizz/Ozzie dynamic because FizzaRolli believes he is unworthy of his relationship with Ozzie as a fundamental basis. He says, “I’m barely worthy of working with a King of Sin … Without all this, I’m just nothing.” And it isn’t FizzaRolli who finds value in himself. He spills himself out to Asmodeus, leaving himself vulnerable and empty, and instead of seeing his own value, it is Ozzie who fills him up. He originally places his value in his work. His fame and abilities are what his entire sense of self-worth is hinged on, which gets replaced by another external source that FizzaRolli arguably has less impact on One could argue that while unhealthy, FizzaRolli has a direct input in his work and thus feeds his self-esteem through his own merit. The solution to that problem is to give up all control and ownership of his emotional state for it to be regulated and maintained entirely by Ozzie. One could reasonably say that the solution to this episode’s conflict was for Fizz to actually become less of a whole person to find happiness.

And then there are the behavioral traits. Keeping in mind the emotional motivation behind all behavior is fear, the individual may take on more responsibility than they can handle or are not even their responsibility in the first place; pressuring themselves to support their target, getting caught up in the other person’s matters, or even “rescuing” them from their hardships. They tend to overshare, lack boundaries and are constantly seeking external validation and approval.

For this one, I’m skipping the Mammon comparison entirely because I feel the situation is self-evident. Instead I am going to pivot slightly to add onto this thought:

In the PsycheCentral article, licensed marriage therapist Kate Engler says, “All codependent people are people pleasers, but not all people pleasers are codependent.” She proceeds to expand this point by explaining how Codependency is a more extreme form of people-pleasing due to its mutual nature. When two people are in a true codependent dynamic, neither party can function without the other one.

That is to say, Asmodeus is also codependent on FizzaRolli.

Ozzie does not express his codependency in such a way that feels so textbook in comparison due to his social superiority, however, we see in Oops how codependent Asmodeus is on FizzaRolli to regulate and maintain his own emotional state. Ozzie is so incapable of functioning without Fizz that, if not for Stolas, he would have immediately signed away all his factories and even resulted in the death of his partner. He doesn’t make decisions based on his own values, but denies Stolas a crystal due to his partner’s wants and desires. Asmodeus’ proud announcement of doing so, as well, shows a degree of approval seeking. Being so pleased with himself on the belief that he did what his partner would have wanted him to do, and openly seeking validation for that decision as well. He lacks any sense of self outside of elevating FizzaRolli and Fizz lacks any sense of self outside of Ozzie’s approval.

The sole reason this relationship even seems to be healthy is because of the fact that Ozzie has no character outside of being in love with FizzaRolli. The unrealistic nature of a whole other human having no will, desire, or purpose outside of being in love with you is unrealistic and unhealthy. It is predicated on a belief that another person will make one "complete", placing the responsibility of your existence as a person on another and believing that is love. It is handing someone a gun to aim at your head, but its okay because they will never pull the trigger. If Asmodeus had any sense of his own identity, he would inevitably cause immense emotional and psychological harm to Fizz, and the only saving grace is that he is poorly written.

The result is that FizzaRolli and Asmodeus depict a fundamentally toxic dynamic being depicted as mutual support and love. It is a demented ideal of what a healthy relationship should look like that is actively poisoning the concept of relationships for an entire demographic of young people. It reaffirms anxious attachment styles that a concerning majority of the fandom embody, fundamentally dooming a percentage of those individuals to replicate this rotten cycle in their own reality. Regardless of how few people ended up abused following their romanticization of 50 Shades of Grey, the fact that even a single person ended up in that position due to a piece of media is too many. As such, I feel it is beyond necessary to denounce the “most wholesome” relationship of Helluva Boss for the dysfunction it actually is.

People really need to realise that “media can affect real life” doesn’t mean “this character does bad things so people will read that and start doing bad things” and actually means “ideas in fiction especially stereotypes about minority groups can affect how the reader views those groups, an authors implicit prejudices can be passed on to readers”

Do you ever think of silly stuff like what if G1 Megatron was suddenly replaced by Prime Megatron?

Just starting with the size difference, for example. G1 Megs is 6m/19'8", Prime Megs is 10.5m/34'5". And he's not boxy!

Yes, yes I do. G1 level of Megatron antics in TFP would be just. Downright lovely, like here take this short man who has the wildest of schemes.

Oh things won't go well on the g1 with TFP Meggsie, he would be a damn force on the battlefield if he chooses to be. Or, conversely, he straight up just adopts the g1 decepticons because I say so and actually runs this army well (... Well comparatively well.) and chooses not to fight the g1 autobots because they seem to practically spawn in and it would be a slaughter.

They're so little🥰

Overview of some topics when it comes to drawing characters who are burn survivors.

DISCLAIMER. Please keep in mind that this is an introductory overview for drawing some burn scars and has a lot of generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. I'm calling this introductory because I hope to get people to actually do their own research before drawing disabled & visibly different characters rather than just making stuff up. Think of it as a starting point and take it with a grain of salt (especially if you have a very different art style from mine).

Talking about research and learning... don't make your burn survivor characters evil. Burn survivors are normal people and don't deserve to be constantly portrayed in such a way.

edit: apparently tum "queerest place on the internet" blr hates disabled people so much that this post got automatically filtered. cool!

Just repeating this.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHO YOU SIGNAL BOOST

There are a lot of fraudulent Palestinian fundraisers going around Tumblr and Go Fund Me right now. (Just had one in my recommended posts)

And unfortunately Tumblr doesn't have a clear way to report fraud or fraudulent posts.

It sucks but there are a lot of disgusting people willing to use the horrors in Gaza to steal money from actual charities.

How to help tell if a fundraiser is likely fraudulent:

- It's a brand new account

- They only reblog posts about Palestine / Israel

-Its only original post is the fake fundraiser.

-Reverse image searching usually reveals the pictures to be stolen from somewhere. Or for the lazy ones they're AI generated.

- It spam tags a load of unrelated subjects (usually trending or popular ones)

- It links to a random PayPal

If you want to donate please give through official channels or through reputable charities. Unfortunately you cannot trust Go Fund Me to vet their fundraisers.

Old people got me feeling emotional

Posting isn't activism.

Go out and do something.

Posting will never be activism.

Go out and do something.

Posting can be advocacy.

Go out and engage with the causes you advocate for.

Posting is not active. Posting is passive.

Activism is active. So go out and act.

I'm on the record as saying that I never care when white characters get recast as POC (like with Namor and MJ in the MCU); however, there is one distinct exception to that. I believe Charles Xavier has to be white. Hear me out.

I'm approaching this with the characterization of Charles Xavier in the comics (not the Fox films, as it has been so long since I've seen them) and my own interpretation of the politics surrounding his character. I would love to hear some alternate perspectives, provided that it is all polite discussion ofc.

As I alluded to in an older post I see Charles Xavier as a very liberal character. He is always for assimilation and has a tendency to prescribe the "model minority" mindset. He uses his most attractive and human passing mutants as the face of his team. Never in the comics did he publicly identify himself as a mutant- Cassandra Nova was the one controlling his body when he publicly came out as a mutant. Charles' wealth and his whiteness prevents him from seeing the reality of the mutant situation, it is the reason why him and Erik are always at odds. Erik, as a Holocaust survivor, understands the patterns of discrimination and bigotry. He understands that no matter how much the submit to the mold of "well behaved mutants" they will never be treated the same.

Charles, in my mind, encapsulates the liberal fixation on both the aesthetics of bigotry and the individual. Bigotry is bad when people yell slurs and commit hate crimes. Slurs are yelled by individuals, and hate crimes are solitary events perpetuated by individual bigots. Erik was always a character who attacked the system. He wanted to dismantle the systems responsible for the oppression of mutants. Charles is someone who has benefitted from that system, even as a mutant, and on some innate level is afraid of changing that fact. I think being white and wealthy contributes greatly to the philosophy of Charles Xavier. The politics of mutants and the X-Men universe has always been something of great interest to me and this is just the way I see it. But, what do you guys think?

If You’re Gonna Make Something Wheelchair Accessible, Don’t Make it a Thing

Here’s some examples awkward accessibility being a thing:

Your at a hotel that has a lift to get you from one sub-floor to another, but the lift can only be unlocked and operated by one specific person that the hotel now has to go find. Sure, they’ve made the entrance to the sub-floor is accessible, but now it’s a thing.

The buses are wheelchair accessible but the driver has to stop the bus, take 30 seconds to lower the goddamn ramp, move passengers out of their seats, hook up the straps and then secure you in the bus. Sure, they’ve made the busses accessible but now it’s a thing.

The restaurant has an accessible entrance, but it’s past the trash room and through the kitchen. Sure, the restaurant is accessible, but now it’s an insulting thing.

Here’s some great examples of accessibility not being a thing:

The train to the airport pulls up flush with the platform. I board with everyone else and sit wherever the fuck I want. Riding the train is accessible and not a thing.

In Portland, I press a button the side of the streetcar and a ramp automatically extends at the same time the door opens. I board in the same amount of time as everyone else. This is not a thing.

I get that it is difficult to design for wheelchair accessibility, but folks need to start considering the overall quality of the experience versus just thinking about meeting the minimum requirements.

Why I am not a fan of the interns from psychonauts 2 in terms of writing

spoilers for most of the game. please play this game it is very good. spoilers begin after the cut. Disclaimer 1: I love this game. If I hated it then I wouldn't be talking about it. I criticize the things i love because I believe in improvement from fair criticism. Disclaimer 2: If you are personally attached to said characters and feel as though you are being attacked by reading this, politely piss off. I don't know you personally, and if you think my opinion on fictional characters is some slight against a random stranger, then you need to touch grass instead of spamming my feed. With this in mind, this is my PERSONAL OPINION as to why i dislike these characters from a writer's standpoint

1- they are pricks. i have been told "hazing is just a normal rite of passage!" hazing is a dick move created as an excuse to prank newbies. I don't care how many fond memories you have of your frat house: hazing is something only assholes contribute to. and you know what else is a dick move? bullying a 10 year old kid for no reason. it is very normal for teenagers to group together with people that are the same as them, so i can believe this is a group of snobby little shits. If being bullies was the intended purpose of their characters I would be fine, but it conflicts with the story the writers want to tell. which brings me to my next point

2- We barely get any time for them to develop at the beginning of the game they are introduced as a group of little shits who bully kids for no reason. not great but i can forgive giving characters flaws so they progress. People like that do indeed exist. the problem: they don't seem to learn anything and they just randomly decide Raz is their friend during the casino mission. (and then later randomly shown up to save the day at the end even though they were missing most of the game) "don't forget how i taught you how to grind rail raz!" what???? you didn't teach us anything! you barely talk to us skateboard kid! Raz knew how to do that at the summer camp! and like, this scene is very cool. the artistic style and the characters popping up like comic book panels but none of that matters cus i have no reason to like any of these kids. "but Raz proved himself that he is capable during the lady luctopus fight so they respect him!" thank you for pointing that out obvious straw man I created to make up for my shitty argument skills. but the thing is: just because these kids were proven wrong does not equal character development. They didn't learn anything other than to not mess with Raz specifically. Which:

3- If you asked me their names, I can't tell you who is who other than sam (and we will get to her later) let me describe these characters to you -skateboard kid -kid who is in a really cool lawn chair hover thing -kid who got all of her clothing by stealing from construction workers and rodeo cowboys -the other bitchy one but with a beanie. - darius rucker with a yoyo -and sam. this shit is all i know from these characters. At best I know traffic stop clothing kid and the other one are sisters, but i literally only know that because Raz randomly pointed it out. (and personally, i think those two are the most unlikable of them all) "ah you probably hate them because they are teenagers" listen man. I am an original homestuck fan back when the main cast consisted of 13 year olds. The characters ages do not matter to me, but rather how interesting they are. in Psy 1 the campers were full of personality and depth, BUT they didn't shoehorn them in expecting them to suddenly be all buddy buddy with raz. They were designed as fun background characters, and they served their purpose. The interns problem is that they have the personality of very boring background characters, but they are not given enough time to develop as characters and are expected to be treated like a main characters. We spend all of our time with the Psychic 6 and not them (and i fucking love those guys!) the Psychic 6 are the ones we spent our time with. THEY are the real main characters because we understood their struggles and got to learn about them. I was closet to THEM because i spent time with them. I feel as though most of the interns were shoehorned in to appeal to a younger audience ok now we can talk about sam

4- I think sam is only interesting because she is attached to Dogan (please don't kill me i promise i am going somewhere with this) If you don't know, sam is basically the explodey head kid's sister. She has personality because she is attached to the most wholesome man of all time, and the weird kid from the first game with murderous tendencies. As a result of this, Sam has to be just as weird as her family members to make sense. I guess her character wouldent change if you removed her familial status with the Boole family, but also consider sam is basically pinkie pie. and Mable pines. And Molly McGee and basically every single quirkyyyyyy overly energetic female character in media with animal abuse sprinkled on top for comedy. there is nothing wrong with this. I think sam is fun too. But also she stands out like a real person in a room full of mannequins, mostly because her friends have the personality of mannequins. The poor writing of the rest of the interns essentially makes sam worse by the law of association because sam is grouped with these losers. in case you are curious, the "where did you get the milk" line cracks me up every time. poor Raz needs a hug.

5-They overplayed agent Forsythe a little bit too much and that does not help the interns in contrast. first: i love Raz's arch about learning not to affect peoples brains like it's nothing. It gave me emotional whiplash because i played the first game right before this game, but the games have a 16 year gap between each other and times have changed. I won't blame the game for that, AND the whole "mental health is a serious issue" grew on me. very good story this game has. Point is: Raz's consent arch was a really good thing for his character. but also agent Forsythe is kind of a bitch. first: your two agents brought you a kid who is enthusiastic about the psychonauts and your immediate instinct is to put him up with the mailroom clerk as his mentor? really? Thinking Cruller is a fucking nut and not validating Raz's honorary psychonaut status? yeah fair. she has no reason to think Ford isn't batshit insane. Getting on Raz for being late to class? also fair. She is a very strict teacher and needs to instill onto her kids that punctuality is important. but then some things rub me the wrong way. like you are an adult, how come you are letting these kids bully Raz? surely you saw the footage on the security cams? Or how come Raz got blamed for invading her thoughts when it was the interns that shoved him into it? How come you are targeting the kid for this and not everyone else who was involved in this? lets give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn't know about those things. Raz's story about him apologizing and learning from his mistake was still very good. Then sasha and Raz have a very charming fatherly moment about learning when to bail from a dangerous situation. made me smile. but then after all that emotional drama, you then talk to her and raz apologizes AGAIN and the emotional drama tries to continue. Lady you already had a talk to Raz about consent, why are you making him explain himself again out in the open? He is 10 years old and already learned his lesson, chill the fuck out.

and then later on she implies that she thinks Raz is the mole just because his family is from a fallen country related to the current issue. I understand not liking Raz, but is the racist remarks necessary? Do you seriously think some random kid kidnapped the head of the psychonauts? I know it is a serious issue but come the fuck on the kid barely knows how shapes work. i know this is about the interns, but Forsythe rubs me the wrong way and i feel like she is the reason why these brats are the way they are. I feel like she makes my distaste for the interns worse because she comes off to me as a sad fuck who targets kids to fuel her fragile power tripping ego. her level was good, and her arc with Raz was good, but she could use a bit of retooling. I feel as though I can forgive her nastier flaws if she acted more like an adult and gave the teenagers the same amount of lip she gave Raz. Perhaps if she had stepped up the interns would be more likeable because they and raz could have a nice bonding moment over their mistake. Tldr: Forsythe needed to act like an ADULT and discipline the interns just as much as she did raz instead of enabling them.

Overall, the interns are poorly written and I dread seeing them on screen. I am not attached to them in the way i am attached to the Psy 6. The story of Helmet and Bob touched my heart, Agent Boole's mission about social anxiety related to me personally, the story of Cassiopea coming to terms with her past and identity issues, Learning about ford's mistakes and the trauma he collected, everything! I love these characters! I guess the lesson is that just because a character is superficially the same as you, does not mean they are relatable. I am in my 20's. I am not a teenager anymore, but I am not elderly either. I am actually closer to the interns in age than i am to the Psy 6. And yet I relate to the Psy 6 more because these are human beings that i have grown to know and learn about. I am a girl who plays videogames. Shocker I know. and I have seen debates about "we need this and this and this or else i can't relate to the character!". There is not a lot of female characters in media and i agree that it would be nice to be represented more. but a character being the exact SAME as you does not equal relatability. I am not a grandfather with a tendency to make people explode, but i relate to Bool because we both share in our self judgement issues and the struggle to not want to hurt people with your personal problems. We have nothing in common physically, but we share in our struggles. and that is why the interns failed as characters when the Psy 6 succeeded. please don't spam my inbox about how much you disagree with me and how much you actually like the interns. this is just my opinion with writing advice sprinkled in it, much like Sam's personality.